Mondegreen (misheard song lyric): James the BONNY EARL
monk,
married: Ramiro the MONK
set alight: John the ONE-EYED
moon, eclipse of: Mehmed the CONQUEROR
morris dancing: John of GAUNT
Mother Goose: Bertha BIGFOOT
moustache,
large: John the WIZARD
thin: Charles the BALD
myopia: the BAKER AND THE BAKER’S WIFE, Henry the GREAT, James THE THISTLE
name, change of: JOHN OF YESTERYEAR
newspaper, creation of a: Christina the MIRACLE OF NATURE
nose,
aquiline: Fyodor the BELLRINGER, Arthur the IRON DUKE, Elizabeth the RED-NOSED PRINCESS
big: Charles the BALD, Francis the FATHER OF LETTERS, Victor Emmanuel the GALLANT KING, Charles the GREAT, Arthur the IRON DUKE, NOSE ALMIGHTY, Elizabeth the RED-NOSED PRINCESS
flat: Attila the SCOURGE OF GOD
red: NOSE ALMIGHTY, Elizabeth the RED-NOSED PRINCESS
nuns, visionary: Charles the BEWITCHED
obesity: Philip the AMOROUS, the BAKER AND THE BAKER’S WIFE, George the BEAU OF PRINCES, BRANDY NAN, Edward the CARESSER, Sophia Charlotte the ELEPHANT, Charles the FAT, Henry the FAT, Louis the FAT, Sancho the FAT, Isabella the GREAT SOW, James the GROSS, Charles the HARLEQUIN, QUEEN VENUS
oranges: Eleanor the WITTY
orders,
chivalric: Albert the ASTROLOGER, John the GOOD
military: Philip the FAIR
orgies, holding of: Philip the GODLESS REGENT
ostracism: Aristides the JUST
paranoia: Abdul the DAMNED, Suleiman the MAGNIFICENT
pea soup, poisoned: Erik the ROMANTIC
peasants, shot with blanks: Otto the MAD
pens, stabbed to death with: John the SCOT
perfume, liberal use of: Henry the GREAT, Alfred the LAST OF THE DANDIES, Henry the MAN-MILLINER
pet,
camels: James the WISEST FOOL IN CHRISTENDOM
cheetahs: Haile Sellassie the LION OF JUDAH
dogs: Llewellyn the GREAT, Henry the MAN-MILLINER
elephant: Charles the GREAT, James the WISEST FOOL IN CHRISTENDOM
lions: Haile Sellassie the LION OF JUDAH
monkeys: Henry the MAN-MILLINER
parrots: Henry the MAN-MILLINER
pilgrimage: Erik EVERGOOD, Charles the GREAT, James the THISTLE
pillaging: Fulk the BLACK, Attila the SCOURGE OF GOD
pineapples: Kamehameha the GREAT
plague: Frederick IRONTOOTH, Philip the LUCKY
playing card, nickname after: Diana the PEOPLE’S PRINCESS
poison,
death from: Mehmed the CONQUEROR, FAIR ROSAMUND, Erik the ROMANTIC
liberal use of: Lady Wu the POISONER
sucked out by wife: Edward the HAMMER OF THE SCOTS
pot belly: Charles the GREAT, Ptolemy the POT-BELLIED, William RUFUS, Theobald the TROUBADOUR
potions: Albert the GREAT
practical jokes, love of: Edward the CARESSER, Peter the GREAT
priests,
kicked in testicles: Napoleon the LITTLE CORPORAL
massacred: Erik the MEMORABLE
printmaking: Rupert the MAD CAVALIER
prostitution, charges of: Mary the MERMAID
psalmody: Anne the KING’S KING
psalms, translating: James the WISEST FOOL IN CHRISTENDOM
pulpit, defecation in: BRANDY NAN
religion, creation of new: Akbar the GREAT
religious tolerance: Akbar the GREAT, Cyrus the GREAT, Roger the GREAT COUNT
right of sanctuary, prohibited: Maria the MOTHER OF HER COUNTRY
rose: see flowers
sausages: DONA JUANA
self-deification: Akbar the GREAT, Alexander the GREAT, Jamshid the ILLUSTRIOUS, Aurelian the RESTORER OF THE WORLD
sermons,
inspirational: Louis the SAINT
lengthy: John LACKLAND
sexual appetite, immense: GOOD DUKE HUMPHREY, Catherine the GREAT, Charles the GREAT, Henry the GREAT, James the ILL-BELOVED, Mary the MERMAID, Charles the MERRY MONARCH, Edward the ROBBER, Augustus the STRONG
sexual impotence, alleged: Ivar the BONELESS
Shakespeare, William: Richard CROOKBACK, John of GAUNT, Duncan the GRACIOUS
shed, portable: Philip the GOOD
Shibboleth: Ladislaus the ELBOW-HIGH
shirt,
hair: Henry the NAVIGATOR
poisoned: Harald and the HAIR SHIRT
skin, made into drum: see drum slimming: Sancho the FAT
smell, appalling: Henry the GREAT
smoking, promotion of: Peter the GREAT
spice trade: Manuel the FORTUNATE
spider, inspirational: Robert the BRUCE
spitting: William the SAILOR KING
sporran, love of wearing: Magnus BARELEGS
stammer: Charles the LAST MAN
steamboat, nickname after: Arthur the IRON DUKE
strangulation: Otto the BLOODY
strength, Herculean: Alfonso the CONQUEROR, Hywel of the HORSESHOES
superstition: Elizabeth the INFAMOUS, Louis THE PIOUS
swimming, love of: Charles the MERRY MONARCH
teeth,
buck: Anne the GREAT WHORE
rotten: GOOD QUEEN BESS, Frederick the GREAT, Henry the GREAT
sackful of: Peter the GREAT
temper, loss of: Haakon the BROAD-SHOULDERED, Henry CURTMANTLE, Robert the ENGLISH ACHILLES, George the GREAT PATRON OF MANKIND, Edward the MARTYR, Louis the QUARRELLER, Erik the RED
tennis,
love of: Charles the AFFABLE, Philip the GOOD, Charles the MERRY MONARCH
thistle, redemptive: Alexander the GLORIOUS
Timothy Wobble-Hat: Leo the BUTCHER
tobacco, taxed: Peter the GREAT
tongue, big: James the WISEST FOOL IN CHRISTENDOM
tonsure: Clovis the GREAT, Louis the PIOUS
tournaments,
love of: Amadeus the GREEN
treatise on: Good King René
treasurer, boiled: Ivan the TERRIBLE
trousers,
threat to pull down: James the WISEST FOOL IN CHRISTENDOM
tight: Alfred the LAST OF THE DANDIES
turban, nailed to head: Vlad the IMPALER
uncle, imprisoned: Ivan the TERRIBLE
universities, founding of: Peter the CEREMONIOUS
virginity, alleged: GOOD QUEEN BESS
violets: see flowers Voltaire: Catherine the GREAT, Frederick the GREAT, John the SILLY DUKE
warts: Anne the GREAT WHORE, NOSE ALMIGHTY
weeding, cryptic message in: Pepin the HUNCHBACK
whiskers, bushy: Basil the SLAYER OF THE BULGARS
wife,
burned at stake: Fulk the BLACK
chaste: Gorm the OLD
contempt for: Francis the FATHER OF LETTERS
equine: BLUFF KING HAL, Thomas the HAMMER OF THE MONKS
imposing: Philip the BOLD, Good King René
imprisoned: GOOD DUKE HUMPHREY, Philip the MAGNANIMOUS
large: Kamehameha the GREAT
mad: Philip the HANDSOME
made to serve at table naked: Bejazet the THUNDERBOLT
ostentatious: Haroun the JUST
physically strong: Ernest the IRON-HANDED
porcine: Charles the SILLY
repudiated: Robert the PIOUS, Sitric the SQUINT-EYED
small: William the CONQUEROR, Kamehameha the GREAT
wig,
abuse of: George the GREAT PATRON OF MANKIND
serviced by footmen: QUEEN VENUS
wine, drowning in: Lady Wu the POISONER, Edward the ROBBER
wives,
five thousand: Akbar the GREAT
six: BLUFF KING HAL
work ethic, fanatical: Frederick the GREAT, Peter the GREAT
1. A note on the entries. Most names have been anglicized for ease of reading, and whe
re the dates of an individual are open to question, I have plumped for those given in the Encyclopaedia Britannica. Where a person’s dates are truly vague, I have used the term fl., short for the Latin floruit denoting the high point of a person’s life or career.
2. Thumbnail sketches of a further twenty-four appear in a separate entry entitled ‘Great… but not that Great’.
Table of Contents
Cover
About the author
Title Page
Copyright Page
Dedication
Contents
Preface
Acknowledgements
The GOOD, the BAD and the UNREADY
[A]
[B]
[C]
[D]
[E]
[F]
[G]
[H]
[I]
[J]
[K]
[L]
[M]
[N]
[O]
[P]
[Q]
[R]
[S]
[T]
[U]
[V]
[W]
[Y]
[Z]
List of Entries by First Name
Bibliography
Index
Footnotes
Preface
Page xii
Page xiv
The Good, the Bad, and the Unready: The Remarkable Truth Behind History's Strangest Nicknames Page 27