“I don’t understand your obsession with the military. What about your grandfather, isn’t he in the military? and your father, wasn’t he in the military before he became a political journalist . . . ?”
“So what? My father now renounces you . . .”
“Who saved you, Clemen? Who pulled the chestnuts out of the fire for you when you got in over your head? Your grandfather, right? If it hadn’t been for him, neither you nor I would be here, we’d probably already have been shot . . .”
“My grandfather helped me because he is my grandfather. Grandfathers help their grandchildren. It would be unthinkable for him to behave any other way . . . What do you think happened to Don Arturo?”
“The last thing Mono Harris told us is that he was wounded and in the hospital in San Miguel.”
“I know that already. You don’t have to repeat it to me. What I want to know is if your motherfucking general has shot him.”
“God help us.”
“It’s fucked up to be incommunicado, have no way of finding out what’s going on. At Don Mincho’s house on the island we could listen to the radio. We’ve been rotting here in this swamp for ten days with no contact with the outside world except through Mono Harris. And now the sonofabitch has disappeared. I can’t take it anymore!”
“Well, you don’t have much choice. And stop crying, it doesn’t do any good!”
“I’m not crying!”
“Sounds like it to me.”
“Don’t go acting all brave, Jimmy. It doesn’t suit you.”
“We need mental discipline to survive. Spending your time complaining only makes us weaker.”
“We’re already weak. If you could see yourself in the mirror you’d feel real sorry for yourself. You look like a scarecrow . . .”
“And you, with your hysteria . . .”
“Hysteria? Only you could think up such a degrading word, Jimmy . . . Hysteria . . . A cigarette is what I need. I haven’t had a smoke in more than twelve hours. You think that’s nothing? Last night, before I fell asleep, I smoked my last one. Twelve hours without a cigarette!”
“Because you’re desperate, and anxious. I warned you to smoke less, I told you something unexpected could happen. Like now, again, I’m warning you not to drink so much water, because the water is for both of us, not just you. You could do what you wanted with your cigarettes, but you’re going to have to be more disciplined with the water, you have to respect that it’s both of ours.”
“What if Mono Harris doesn’t show up today or tomorrow morning? By noon we’ll be without a drop, we’ll be more desperate, more hungry and thirsty, we’ve only got two tins of sardines and those hard-boiled eggs. Why not leave right now?”
“Because Mono Harris will come, and then he won’t find us, and we’ll lose touch with him. How many times do I have to tell you . . .”
“What if he never shows up? What’ll we do then?”
“I told you: we’ll try to get to San Nicolás. It won’t be that difficult. But we run the risk of coming across a National Guard patrol.”
“You sure you know how to get out of this labyrinth of swamps and canals? Mono Harris said this is one of the most remote canals, the most difficult to find among the mangroves, that’s why he brought us here. Which direction is San Nicolás, Jimmy? Tell me!”
“Over there, where we came from . . .”
“You don’t know anything! You don’t have the least fucking idea! We came from the other direction. I remember perfectly.”
“I’m not going to argue with you, Clemen. Here, the one who has the training to survive and find his way is me. You’re just a poor slob. That’s why, when we start for San Nicolás, you’re going to follow my instructions . . . Is that clear?”
“If you suck my dick . . .”
5:13 p.m.
“Whoever understands you can have you for free, Jimmy. According to you we were supposed to conserve our energy so we don’t die of hunger and thirst, so why in the world are you swimming?”
“I need to freshen up. I’m not swimming; I’m floating.”
“Same thing.”
“Not the same thing.”
“It’ll take a water snake or manta ray scaring you to set you straight . . .”
“Don’t be such a chickenshit, Clemen. I have the feeling you don’t know how to swim, that’s why you’re so afraid of the water.”
“I’m not afraid of the water; I’m afraid of creatures.”
“I don’t believe you . . . Ever since we got on the canoe you’ve been shitting your pants . . .”
“A while ago, while you were napping, you muttered the name Faustino Sosa several times . . .”
“Really? The major?”
“Uh-huh.”
“I must’ve been dreaming about him. But I don’t remember . . .”
“You’ve got a guilty conscience, don’t you, you asshole?”
“Take a dip, Clemen, instead of talking nonsense.”
“You sent him to his death and now you feel guilty.”
“I didn’t send him to his death. I already explained it to you several times.”
“So why were you dreaming about him?”
“Nobody knows why we dream what we dream . . .”
“You don’t fool me.”
“I’ve got no desire to fool you or justify myself to you . . . The water is delicious. This is the best time of day to freshen up. But it’s time for me to get out now.”
“It’s going to get dark soon and Mono Harris hasn’t come . . .”
“I know.”
“And we’re running out of drinking water . . .”
“Move over, Clemen, I want to get back in the boat.”
“All we’ve got left is this one tin of sardines . . . Nothing for breakfast tomorrow.”
“What about the hard-boiled eggs?”
“There was one left. I ate it while you were taking a nap. My guts were churning.”
“You’re a disgrace! So I get one sardine more than you.”
“Don’t mess with me, Jimmy. We’ll go halves . . .”
“One extra sardine for me to make up for the egg.”
“What we should do is get the hell out of this swamp and find a shack where we can get some food and water . . .”
“We agreed to wait till tomorrow morning.”
“I won’t be able to sleep thinking about waking up without food or water.”
“Don’t be a fool. You’re better off sleeping. Your anxiety will only make you more thirsty and hungry.”
“Let’s get out of here now, Jimmy, before it gets dark! I’m really getting desperate . . . It’s useless to wait if Mono Harris isn’t coming. Tomorrow will only be worse: by then we’ll be dying of hunger and thirst!”
“If we leave now, it’ll get dark when we’re halfway there, we’ll have to light the lamp, and we’ll be an easy target for the soldiers. I’ve explained it all to you. We’ll leave at the first light of dawn.”
“The soldiers aren’t going to be riding around at night through these canals.”
“Oh, yeah? What about the boat that passed right by us the first night we were here?”
“Those weren’t soldiers . . .”
“We’re not going to discuss this again, Clemen.”
“Let’s eat the sardines, then.”
“We’re going to wait a few hours.”
“Why? I’m hungry now. It’s already getting dark. It’s dinner time. I’m going to open the tin . . .”
“No. We’ll open it in a few hours so we won’t be so hungry in the morning.”
“Give me that tin, Jimmy!”
“I said no . . . Don’t be an ass.”
“You’re the ass! Give me that tin! There are four sardines, two each.”
“I’m not giving you the tin and there aren’t two each. There are three for me and one for you. Stop fucking . . .”
“God damn sonofabitch!”
“It won’t do you any good to in
sult me.”
“Okay, so I’ll take a sip of water. I’ve got this burning in the pit of my stomach. I need to drink something . . .”
“You’re not going to finish the water, either . . .”
“Fuck you, Jimmy! Give me that water!”
“Calm down! We have to ration the water even more, otherwise we’ll be so weak from thirst we won’t be able to do anything.”
“Give me the damn water, asshole!”
“Stop shouting like a madman! And calm down unless you want me to break your neck!”
“What, you think I’ve got my hands tied behind my back?! Give me the water and the sardines!”
“Calm down! You’re going to capsize the boat!”
“Give them to me, you motherfucker!”
“Let go! If you so much as touch me I’ll smash you one, Clemen!”
“Don’t you push me, you piece of shit!”
“Let go of me!”
“Give ’em to me!”
“Oh no, we’re capsizing!”
7:50 p.m.
“You see, there’s enough moonlight for us to navigate. We can still leave, Jimmy . . .”
“I told you not to talk to me. I don’t want to know you’re here.”
“There’s no reasoning with you.”
“Shut up!”
“We still have one oar . . .”
“Shut your damn trap . . .”
“We can go near the hamlet and look for the guide’s house, or one of the oarsmen. I’m sure they’ll give us water and food . . .”
“Do you not understand? Silence!”
“The more time passes, the more desperate we get . . .”
“If you weren’t my cousin, I would have already drowned you . . .”
“You would be capable of killing me, Jimmy?”
“I’m never going to forgive you . . . Because of you I lost my gun.”
“It wasn’t only my fault, we both . . .”
“You are a total moron.”
“It wasn’t your gun, anyway, it was Mono Harris’s . . . And it’s right there, in the water, nobody’s going to get it. Mono Harris can come back with some fishermen and bring it up in a net.”
“Don’t start again, Clemen, this time I’m not going to be able to control myself, and you’re going to end up getting very badly hurt . . .”
“There you are, worried about the gun . . . The worst thing is that we lost our drinking water and the sardines.”
“It’s your fault we have no way to defend ourselves and nothing to eat or drink. It’s also your fault we lost the lamp and the other oar . . . You’ve worn out my patience.”
“If you don’t want to row, I could start rowing with this.”
“You’re completely useless. You don’t know how to row. You don’t know how to do anything. You don’t deserve to live. Any one of my comrades shot by the firing squad is worth a hundred of you . . .”
“You’re just cross . . .”
“How could I not be?”
“It doesn’t do any good to be angry.”
“Shut your big fat mouth!”
“What are you doing, Jimmy?”
“I’m starting to row, can’t you see?”
“We’re going to San Nicolás then? How great, you finally decided! Bravo!”
“Don’t get your hopes up . . .”
“What are you doing? Why are you going deeper into the swamp? It’s dangerous, Jimmy! It’s totally dark!”
“Here’s the mangrove I was looking for . . .”
“What for? What are you doing?”
“Me, nothing . . . You see that thick branch on your right?”
“Uh-huh . . .”
“Climb onto it!”
“You’re crazy!”
“Climb onto that branch right now, or I’ll bash your head in with this oar!”
“You’ve gone mad, Jimmy! Calm down!”
“Climb onto the fucking branch, you bastard!
“You’re hitting me, Jimmy!?”
“I’m going to smash you to pieces, you sonofabitch, climb onto it now!”
“Why do you want me to climb onto it?!”
“Now!”
“Stop hitting me, you crazy bastard!”
“That’s it! Good! Up a tree, you bastard!
“You’ve gone crazy . . .”
“You are going to stay right there . . .”
“What are you saying?! Have you lost your mind?!”
“There, now you won’t bother anybody.”
“Come back, Jimmy! Don’t leave me here!”
“I’ll come back tomorrow with Mono Harris to get you . . .”
“Jimmy! Don’t be so mean! Come back! I beg you! Jimmy . . . !”
6:15 a.m.
“All these canals look alike . . .”
“Jimmy, are you sure we’re going in the right direction?”
“I hope so. We’ve got to take advantage of this early morning light.”
“We’ve been going around in circles for half an hour, and I don’t see we’ve gotten anywhere. Just more mangroves . . .”
“That’s what I said, they all look alike.”
“I remember when Mono Harris brought us here from near San Nicolás, it took about twenty minutes.”
“Because the motorboat was towing the canoe.”
“You’re right . . .”
“That’s why I think we’ll get out of this bay soon.”
“I hope, because the sun is rising . . . My mouth is dry.”
“Mine is, too. And rowing is making me even thirstier.”
“You want me to help row?”
“No. We’ll be out of here in no time . . .”
“Listen to my guts churning from hunger.”
“Must be here to the right . . .”
“Everything looks the same to me, Jimmy. How will Mono Harris find his way?”
“He said he knows it by heart, and if he didn’t he’d get lost, he said even some fishermen prefer not go into these swamps because they’re afraid of getting lost, they say they’re haunted . . .”
“I thought he was just boasting to scare us.”
“Now this way . . .”
“I don’t see any way out, Jimmy. It all looks the same. Mangroves and more mangroves.”
“I’m even starting to worry now.”
“We should have made some exploratory outings a few days ago.”
“Mono Harris warned us not to budge from that canal or we’d get hopelessly lost. That’s why we didn’t.”
“Isn’t this the canal we were in for ten days?”
“What are you talking about . . .”
“I’m sure it is, Jimmy!”
“You’re kidding. It can’t be . . .”
“Bring us around to this side!”
“It looks different to me.”
“Because the tide has risen . . . Come up close . . . That’s the tree you left me on!”
“How do you recognize it?”
“Because you left me there for more than an hour, you bastard . . . The worst hour of my life.”
“But it was night, it was dark, how can you possibly recognize it now?”
“Here, underneath, look, level with the water . . .”
“I think you’re wrong.”
“No. I pulled off those twigs and shoots so I could lean against the trunk!”
“I don’t see anything . . .”
“Right here: look carefully! That part’s underwater now! This is the mangrove! We’ve gone in a circle, Jimmy! We’re right back where we started!”
“It can’t be!”
“But it is! What are we going to do now?”
“We’re going to try again.”
“We’re lost! We’re in a labyrinth!”
“It’s okay, we’ll get out of here . . .”
“How?!”
“You row now . . . Maybe that’s why I got lost . . . I was rowing so I wasn’t paying enough attention.”
&
nbsp; “Let me sit there . . . Give me the oar.”
“Don’t capsize us, Clemen, or we’ll really be lost . . .”
“Not a chance in the world.”
“With you rowing, I’ll be able to focus better, try to remember how we got here with Mono Harris . . . Go this way . . .”
“Okay. How do you change direction?”
“You move the oar that way . . . That’s right . . .”
“It’s hard.”
“Come on.”
“. . .”
“. . .”
“My hands are burning, Jimmy. I’m going to get blisters.”
“You really are useless.”
“I don’t see that we’re getting anywhere.”
“Let me row . . . My turn . . .”
“Now what?”
“We keep trying. We’ve got no choice.”
“I’m dying of thirst, Jimmy . . .”
“Try not to think about it . . .”
“How can I not think about being thirsty?! My throat is so dry. The sun is already up. If we don’t get out of this labyrinth soon, we’re going to die of sunstroke and dehydration!”
“Don’t say that.”
“But it’s the truth!”
“I’m also extremely thirsty. Let’s rest for a while in the shade. The worst thing is for us to get desperate.”
“All these mangrove trees look alike.”
“They look alike to us, but they aren’t all alike.”
“I hate being here! This is like a nightmare, Jimmy!”
“It is a nightmare.”
“We have such bad luck!”
“I wish we could wake up . . .”
“We’ve been wandering around now for about two hours in these canals and we haven’t seen a trace of a fisherman. Nothing, zilch . . .”
“We can’t lose faith.”
“There’s not even a current, look . . . The boat barely sways.”
“Maybe the tide is changing, maybe it’s peaked and soon it will start going down.”
“We’re worse off than we were before, Jimmy: even if we do manage to get out of the swamp, we won’t be where Mono Harris will look for us when he gets back!”
“I know. You don’t have to shout at me!”
“I’m not shouting!”
“You’re letting despair get the better of you, Clemen . . . Calm down.”
“We managed to escape from that motherfucking general of yours just to come here and die like this! I can’t believe it!”
Tyrant Memory Page 22