For a few minutes, he could feel only her tongue on his, her body pressed against his bare chest and abdomen. He fought to control his light, even then, trying to get to know her lips, the way she explored his mouth with her tongue, the feel of her light in his. Ending their deeper kiss, she raised her head slightly, planting small kisses on the edges of his lips, her breath catching at each one. Losing control over his light at this, he gripped her hair tighter, massaging her upper back with one hand as she began kissing his jaw and then his neck.
He could feel her worry ebbing and then grow more intense, the unfamiliarity of this for her, her unsureness about his race, about the fact that he was a stranger to her mind. He did what he could to hold back, to follow her lead, but felt his cock harden painfully as her light continued to explore his, pulling on him, probably without her realizing it.
When her hands started to follow her light, he forced himself to lie there, to endure it, but within minutes he found he couldn’t look at her, particularly not her face.
Gina, get a grip, he heard her thinking. You can’t sleep with this guy right now. No matter how hot he is. He just got out of a damned coma. His leg might be broken.
His pain abruptly worsened.
He spoke before he thought about whether that was a good idea, either.
“I want to,” he told her, murmuring against her mouth when she leaned over to kiss him again. He gripped her hair in both hands, pulling her against him as he returned her kiss. He intensified that kiss within seconds, putting more light into his tongue and lips, feeling her react by writhing against his chest, her hands tightening on his bare skin. He paused only to murmur against her mouth. “I’thir li’dare. I want to so badly, Gina… so badly.”
He felt her react to him saying her name.
She liked it when he said her name.
She thought it was sexy, that his need was sexy, that the way he clung to her was sexy, that his lips and tongue felt fucking amazing when he kissed her mouth, and she already wondered how that tongue would feel kissing other parts of her. He felt her wondering how he could have gone so long without a girlfriend, looking the way he did, with that damned voice and chest and face and how good he was with his mouth and hands.
He felt her wondering if he’d been telling the whole truth when he said Mika didn’t want him. He felt her liking him speaking Prexci to her, even if she couldn’t understand it.
Yet, he told himself quietly. She wouldn’t understand Prexci yet. I would remedy that.
Looking up at her face, it occurred to him again that he was lost in this already. He was lost, and maybe she was, too, even if she didn’t know it yet.
The thought made him feel strangely guilty.
But only a little.
It was the last thought he had, before he pulled her mouth down to his.
29
A REAL FIGHT
BY THE TIME I was ready to go in there, I was wound up, borderline nervous.
My adrenaline had more or less run out.
Too much time had passed.
I got pulled into an incident with the infiltration team before I could get in there to talk to him, which threw me on a number of levels. One, it took too long, like I said. I’d been on my way to go talk to Revik when I got pulled in. Also, before Balidor called me, I had zero idea the op in question was even taking place.
So, yeah, when it went south, I was lost.
I was also kind of pissed off.
I’d been aware of Loki’s extraction team being sent to Flushing, Queens, of course, to look for Dante’s mother. I’d even heard through the comms that morning that they found her––alive––which was a minor miracle.
I’d had absolutely no idea Revik diverted that team to D.C. sometime the night before, while it was still daylight in New York. Presumably, he’d done it while I was up on the deck, staring at the wake of the aircraft carrier––or after I’d gone to sleep.
No one could even tell me what he’d sent them to look for. Revik sent all of the specific target information, encrypted, directly to Loki, along with schematics, an approach plan, and several contingencies. Even Balidor didn’t have that information––or Oli, who’d been the one to send him the packet of intel via the link.
Now no one could tell me what had happened to Loki, either––who’d apparently been shot. There’d been radio silence since the Chinook left the White House grounds.
Needless to say, I wasn’t happy.
They’d lost no one on the ground in New York, during the op to pick up Dante’s mother. Hours later, they divert to D.C., and one of our best infiltrators is shot, we lose Ontari, another high-ranked Adhipan infiltrator, and at least two other seers sustain serious injuries––all on a mission I didn’t even know about, much less clear.
So yeah, I was pissed.
Granted, I could see the hypocrisy in that.
After all, I’d just delivered orders to send us to Dubai without talking to Revik about it beforehand. Even so, I was pretty blown away Revik had done something that reckless, so soon after the mess in Macau. Even apart from the thought of losing more friends, we weren’t exactly flush in high-ranked seers these days.
He’d better have a damned good reason for doing what he’d done.
I fought to shove that from my mind as I aimed my feet back in the direction of the tank, where Revik presumably waited for me.
None of what I’d just learned put me in the best frame of mind.
I couldn’t put it off any longer, though.
It was time for us to have a real talk.
HE WAS THERE, at least.
When I came in through the hatch, he was stretched out on the bed, ankles crossed, headset on. I didn’t have to look at his face to know he was working, but he must have been pretty deep in it, because when he felt my light, he jerked violently, looking up in surprise.
He didn’t hesitate, but unfurled from his position like a cat, ripping the headset off without slowing his rise. None of it was visibly aggressive, but something about the way he moved still made me think of being in the ring with him. It also made me pause. I remained by the door, watching him warily as I took in his light, the unreadable look on his face.
Only his eyes were expressive.
Borderline cold, they shone at me from above those high cheekbones, watching me as carefully as I watched him.
I realized I could still feel Neela then, and glanced over my shoulder.
Meeting the female seer’s gaze, I noted the worried look there, and motioned casually with one hand, my voice calm.
“It’s okay,” I told her. “You can close it. And please turn off the surveillance.”
I watched Neela’s face as she struggled with my instructions.
I could feel the part of her that wanted to say something, to remind me they’d be outside, or maybe mention some of the security precautions for the tank itself. I could see her wanting to impart some other meaning, as well––maybe just to let me know they wouldn’t stand for him harming me in any way.
More than anything, I could tell she didn’t want to turn off the surveillance.
I could also tell she didn’t want to disobey me, not in front of Revik.
Eventually, the last part won out over the rest.
“Of course, Esteemed Bridge,” she murmured.
Her cheeks looked redder than usual, but she immediately began to close the door. I watched until it had shut entirely, and the red, blinking light over the door turned back to a solid blue. Once the light went out in the God’s eye camera over the door, I turned, facing Revik.
His expression had changed in the pause.
Some of the cold had seeped out of his eyes. He still looked angry, but something about that anger struck me as more open, or maybe just more willing to fight me outright.
I watched as he tossed his headset to the table covered in larger, more animal-like machines. When he looked at me next, his narrow mouth curled into a frown.
“
Well?” he said.
I felt his light like an electrical charge, snaking around me and through me, making my skin tighten, along with my fingers, my jaw, the muscles in my legs, my arms and stomach. It grew more intense in those few seconds before he continued, like a fire coursing through my aleimi. I couldn’t even define what I felt as anger. It felt more like power––a charge he barely held in check, sliding through the higher regions of his light.
“Are you going to start?” he said. “Or shall I?”
He took a step towards me, and I felt something in his self-control break.
A rush of emotion hit at the higher regions of my light. It didn’t come to me in words, or discrete pieces of thought. It felt more like a wave of heated feeling, tangled up in thoughts, desires, rationalizations, frustrations, wants, a desire to communicate––all in a confused mass somehow separate from his conscious mind.
“Alyson,” he said, louder. “Are you going to talk to me? Or not?”
He made another move towards me, and I acted without pause or thought, maybe because I could still feel that fight thing all over his light.
I shoved him, using the telekinesis.
I didn’t do it hard, but it stopped him in his tracks.
He stared at me, panting.
Then his eyes ignited at once.
That heat I’d felt in his light turned into a fucking furnace. I felt the charge ignite, somewhere in the higher areas of my aleimi, raising the hairs on my arms, sucking in my breath, hitting at my chest.
He shoved me back––hard.
Hard enough to push me into the railing under the observation window where we’d often watched our daughter. Hard enough to suck the breath from my lungs. I hit into that metal bar with my ass, and let out a surprised gasp.
“Don’t fucking do that,” he growled. “I tolerated it when you were mentally incompetent. I won’t tolerate it now.”
Looking at him, I didn’t answer.
I still didn’t feel afraid of him, though.
He hadn’t done that to hurt me. He’d done it to make a point––a point I couldn’t help but see as valid. I shouldn’t be shoving him around with my light, either.
When he returned my gaze, I got the sense he could feel that.
He was both grateful for the thought and frustrated by my lack of visible emotion.
Or maybe frustration wasn’t what I felt off his light. Maybe the anger I felt had less direction than that, even. I could feel the fear more prominently in his light now, which was what I’d been looking for. It grew stronger in his light, the longer I looked at him, and the longer I refused to react to the anger he continued to try to use to get a reaction out of me.
Frowning, he averted his gaze.
“So that’s it?” he said, folding his arms. “I’m sidelined now?”
“Revik,” I exhaled, breaking my silence for the first time. “For fuck’s sake. No.”
His irises continued to glow with light, but fainter now. I saw them spark the longer he looked at me, even as his jaw hardened. “Then what? Clearly you think it’s all right to lock me up in here for hours––”
“I didn’t mean to do that. I meant to come down earlier. I got pulled. Balidor––”
“Balidor.” He let out an angry grunt. “Right.”
I bit my lip, forcing myself not to rise.
I still felt strangely detached from the anger shining in his light eyes. Well––not detached. I wasn’t detached at all. I just knew I could see him. I could see him past whatever he was trying to show me on the surface, whatever he used to try and push me back, to scare me off. I could feel his distrust of me, but it felt different now.
“Revik,” I said. “We can’t do this. We can’t.”
“We can’t do what?”
Clicking at him, but still not really in anger, I shook my head.
Staring around the relatively spartan trappings of the room, it struck me how much this small space reflected so much of his life, so much of who he was. Like a mini command center, only with the bound religious books given to him by Wreg. I could feel Menlim’s influence even in this, but I knew that as a part of Revik now, too.
The thought didn’t sadden me, not anymore.
A lot of what Revik had been forced to become had arisen in direct opposition to his childhood. It was that, or succumb to being the monster.
I knew I wouldn’t have survived it.
Truthfully, I couldn’t imagine anyone surviving that, apart from him.
“Revik.” I held up my hands, palms open. “Revik, you’re not going to hurt me. I know you’re not. I need you to know it, too.”
He stared at me.
I saw his pupils dilate, even as his clear eyes seemed to grow sharper.
“What’s going to help?” I said, frustrated. “What’s going to help with this? Because you know damned well I can’t have you doing this.”
“Doing what?” he snapped. “Trying to protect my wife?”
“Fermenting a goddamned mutiny on this ship!” I snapped. “I can’t have it! You would never stand for it! Not from Wreg. Not from ‘Dori. How am I supposed to take this from you?”
His eyes hardened.
Even so, I could tell I’d gotten through to him that time––a little, anyway. I’d deliberately chosen the military thing as a place to start for that reason. I needed to talk to him in a way he could actually hear it, that wouldn’t just bring up all his defenses, or convince him I was being irrational, or speaking purely from sentimentality about Cass.
“Revik,” I said. “What’s going to help with this?”
His eyes grew colder. “Let me kill her.”
“No.”
“No? Why?” he growled. “Because it will look like I overruled you? Since when have you given a damn about that with me? They know we talk about this shit! Usually we’re open about that fact! They know we decide on courses together, at least when we can!”
Taking a breath, he lowered his voice with an effort.
“…Besides, it’s pretty clear you didn’t listen to me about Dubai. Or fucking Macau for that matter, where I was dead-against using you as bait. Or about your own goddamned security protocols regarding tracking ops. And given your little display out there, I don’t think you left any doubt about who’s in charge, wife. So if you’re looking for ways to up your macho points, you might have used them up for today.”
He said the last with more than a little bitterness.
I kept my voice calm. Maybe too calm.
“You know this isn’t about power for me.”
“Then what the fuck is it about, Allie?”
The heat remained in his light, but I felt more of him now, too. Enough that the shell I’d been wearing began to melt. I realized I’d been defending myself from him from the second I’d walked through that door. More than that, I’d been approaching him more as an adversary than my partner––a puzzle I needed to solve, or maybe just figure out how to manipulate.
Once I realized that much, all the charge in my light deflated.
Leaning against the wall he’d just pushed me against, I sighed, combing my fingers through my tangled hair. Feeling his light start to de-charge in that same pause, I waited until he felt more open, then I looked up, meeting his gaze.
“Do you want to be in charge, Revik?” I said.
“No!” he snapped. His anger was on the surface now, but it felt more open, more genuine, and if anything it made me relax more. “That’s not what I fucking want, Allie!”
“Then what do you want?” I said.
I saw him flinch, surprise flickering through his eyes and light.
Then, everything in him seemed to de-charge all at once. He stepped back. I watched his gaze shift inward, right before he leaned heavily against the desk, sitting on the edge of it, supporting his weight on his long legs, his feet set at angles in front of him.
“I want more say in you and Lily’s security,” he said.
“More say
?” I pressed. “Or all say?”
He looked up. His clear eyes sharpened. “Do you want the truth?”
I clicked at him, annoyed for real that time.
“Of course I want the truth! What the hell do you think I’m doing here? We need to agree on this. We need to settle it… now. We don’t have the luxury to argue about this shit, especially when we’re getting ready to mobilize again. I need your help on Dubai! That’s a six-week planning op, minimum. And I’m tired of arguing in front of the others!”
His gaze cleared as I spoke.
I saw him nod, but felt his agreement even more than I saw it.
“I’m sorry I shoved you,” I said then. “I won’t do it again.”
He looked at me, jaw hard.
“You can do it again,” he said. “Just don’t fucking do it when you’re angry at me. Don’t do it as a way of putting me in my place. I may be your subordinate, but I’m your husband, too. You can pull rank on me all you want out there,” he added, motioning towards the tank’s door. “But you do it in here, where we’re supposed to be mates––and equals––you’ll be sleeping alone, Allie.”
I didn’t lower my gaze. Seeing the depth of feeling there, I nodded.
He’d never leveled that particular threat at me before, either.
“Okay,” I said. “Agreed.”
The heat in his eyes lost even more of its charge.
Waiting until I saw him let out an exhale, I adjusted my rear against the hand rail under the view window, pursing my lips.
“Are we going to talk about you disobeying orders?” I said. “Going around me out there?”
Anger returned to his pale eyes. I watched him stare at the organic floor, his gaze shifting inward. I waited for him to collect his thoughts before I went on.
“Just how much control do you want over decisions that affect my security, Revik?” I said, coming at the issue from a different angle. “And how broad a scope does that cover? Because what you did today… that doesn’t only impact me and Lily’s security.”
I waited another few seconds, watching him think.
Prophet: Bridge & Sword Page 30