Prophet: Bridge & Sword

by JC Andrijeski

  “Allie.”

  He reached for me, taking my hand. Threading our fingers, he blew warm light at me, along with another pulse of pain. I felt deeper emotions there––grief, something that felt like worry, maybe even guilt, a denser caution that edged into fear.

  “Allie… please. Today couldn’t have been easy for you. Please. Let me try to help you with it. Even if you’re mad at me about Dalejem still… or for not telling you I’d met Kali and your father all those years ago. You need to open your light, honey. That’s all I want. I want to be the one to help you for a change. Like you do for me.”

  I fought to absorb his words, to even make sense of them.

  “But where were you?” I said finally. “Where did you go?”

  Releasing my hand, he rolled to his back.

  I saw him wince as he did it.

  Or maybe I felt it, in my light.

  “Allie,” he said. “Please.”

  “Just tell me,” I said.

  Clicking softly, he shook his head, but not in a no. I felt resignation on him, but not guilt, not anymore. More, I got a feeling like he thought he was being deflected, that I was purposefully distracting him, avoiding what he’d said to me.

  But was I deflecting? I honestly couldn’t tell.

  All I knew was, the longer he lay there, not speaking, the more that pain in my chest grew. It began to spread, seeping lower and deeper, crawling into my belly. Bile rose in my throat, nausea, a pain that was hard to think past.

  The pain didn’t feel like separation.

  “Did you ever have sex with my mother?” I blurted. “Kali?”

  I hadn’t known I meant to ask it.

  I didn’t really want the answer.

  Shock expanded off his light. “What? No! Gaos, Alyson. No… absolutely not.”

  I shook my head, trying to get the thought out of my head. “Never mind. I just––”

  “Alyson. Gaos d’ jurekil’a. Is that what you’ve been thinking? Why?”

  I didn’t answer either question. Instead I fought to think, to control my light.

  “Did Yumi hurt you?” I said finally. “Did you ask her to?”

  For a moment he didn’t move, didn’t look away from my face. Then he shook his head, clicking again as he ran his fingers through his hair.

  “No.” Hesitating, he shrugged with one hand, looking up at me. “Ullysa. I asked her. Well.” He grunted a little. “I hired her, really. She didn’t want money for it, but I insisted…”

  He trailed, as if feeling something off my light.

  I felt him looking at me, in the dark.

  “Allie,” he said. His voice grew cautious. “She didn’t touch me.”

  When I still didn’t speak, he exhaled, his voice bordering on frustrated.

  “I was totally closed down,” he said. “I could feel you closing down, especially after you went on that walk with Kali. I couldn’t feel you at all after that. It scared me. So I talked to Yumi, and when that didn’t help, I asked Ullysa. She’d done it for me before, back in Seattle, so I knew she could do it, without holding back.”

  When I still hadn’t moved, I felt him watching me again.

  “Allie,” he said, softer. He shifted to his side, moving closer to me on the bed. “I did it for you. For us… for Lily. We can’t keep doing this, circling one another like this. It’s bad enough when I’m doing it. But you’re doing it now, too. I thought maybe this would help. That I could help you with it, if I could just open myself up more.”

  He reached for my hand.

  But something about that was too much.

  It finally snapped me out of wherever my mind had gone.

  I didn’t want him to touch me.

  I don’t know if I pulled away my hand or my whole body. Either way, I moved, and I felt him flinch. I felt him staring at me then, his breath coming faster in the dark even though I still couldn’t see him.

  I slid backwards on the bed, moving before my mind really caught up with my light or my thoughts or anything he’d said. I don’t know if I was thinking about anything at all at that point.

  That pain in my chest throbbed now.

  It hurt, blinding me to everything else.

  I didn’t know I’d gotten up, that I’d gotten out of bed and moved towards the door, until he was standing in front of me, blocking my way.

  I looked up at him, and I could see his eyes again, glowing in the dark. I heard him saying words, but I couldn’t make sense of any of them. He held my arm briefly, but I did something, pushed him maybe… I honestly don’t know.

  I just know I got past him somehow, and then I was punching in the code.

  I only remember for sure one thing I said to him. At some point, in waiting for them to open the door, to let me out of there, I felt the need to warn him.

  I don’t know if I was worried I would hurt him.

  I don’t think I was clear enough for that specific thought, not then, but some part of me apparently felt the need to warn him anyway.

  So I looked at him, when I heard them opening the door from outside.

  I remember him standing there, silent, his shirt open, his eyes glowing in the dark. I remember he was breathing hard, staring at me, and I could feel fear on him, maybe something more than fear, although my mind couldn’t make sense of that, either.

  “Don’t follow me,” I told him. “Let me go, Revik.”

  When I left the room, seconds later, he still hadn’t moved, hadn’t spoken.

  Not where I could hear him speak.

  35

  CRACKED

  I DON’T KNOW how I got upstairs.

  I wasn’t wearing shoes.

  I remember someone catching hold of my arm, pulling me into a large-feeling room. I think it was Wreg, or maybe Jon––they’d been talking to me, about Kali, about Uye maybe, too. I know at some point, I looked up and saw Jon staring at me, full-fledged worry on his face.

  Wreg stood next to him, his dark eyes assessing mine. His black irises looked strangely bright, like real obsidian reflecting light.

  Neither of them was speaking at that point, so maybe it was the silence that finally snapped me out of wherever my brain had gone.

  “Allie.” Jon gripped my arm. “God, Allie. What happened? What’s wrong with you?”

  The sound came back on, somewhere after he spoke.

  I realized it was loud where we were.

  I winced at the noise, feeling conspicuous as it hit me I stood in a room filled with people. They would recognize me. Everyone knew me here––wherever I went on the ship, they knew me, recognized me––and humans and seers milled all around me now. Their words echoed hollowly inside a metal room that felt too big and too small at the same time.

  Jon’s hazel, light-filled eyes stared into my face.

  I heard his thoughts as Wreg moved closer to me on the other side.

  She looks like she’s in shock, Jon was saying. What the fuck happened?

  I don’t know brother. It’s definitely shock, though. Her light. I’ve seen this on seers before. Usually when they lose family, or friends. When someone they love dies…

  Is this about her parents? Jon’s thoughts grew angry. Those fucking seers from today? Aren’t they with Tarsi somewhere?

  I’m calling Nenz, Wreg muttered back, his thoughts holding a dense thread of worry.

  Somehow, that last reached me, like a knife jabbed in my skin.

  I looked at Wreg.

  “No,” I said. “Don’t call him.”

  Wreg blinked, his eyes holding an open surprise. I saw him look at Jon, who gave him a helpless look, holding up his hands.

  Do I call him anyway? Wreg muttered into Jon’s mind.

  I called Balidor. He said they can’t let Revik out of the tank, anyway. Two hour limit. We’d have to route him up here through a comm, and I don’t see that helping much right now, do you? Not if she can’t feel his light.

  Two hour limit? Wreg stared at Jon. He’s been back here
for fucking hours. Did he leave again?

  I guess so. Jon’s thoughts sounded confused. Balidor didn’t say where he’d been. He just said he had the full two hours. Do you think this is about him? Revik?

  Wreg frowned.

  He looked over one muscular shoulder, aiming a swift but somehow slow-feeling look at a booth bolted to the far bulkhead. Following his gaze, almost without knowing I did it, I saw a group of seers sitting there. Only one set of eyes stared back at the three of us.

  Green eyes met mine, violet rings rimming the edges of his irises.

  I stared at his face, the long, dark hair where he sat on the far side of Jorag, across from Jax, Neela and Mika. I saw Neela turn then stop, staring at me. I winced at the concern I saw bloom on her oval face as she did a double-take, her eyes widening.

  Wreg looked back at me, what must have been only a second or two later.

  I saw him wince when he realized I’d followed the direction of his gaze.

  He caught hold of my arm in his thick fingers. I followed mutely, letting him and Jon lead me further away from that booth, until I stood on the other side of the mess hall with the two of them.

  Mess hall.

  My mind found things to hold on to in that understanding.

  Like the fact that we now stood next to an espresso maker someone installed while we were docked in Canada, supposedly for me and Jon. It was meant to be a joke of sorts, but yeah, Jon and I both used it, just about every day.

  A lot of the other seers used it, too.

  My mind restructured around that, finding my location in the map of the ship I carried around in my light. Officer’s areas. Not far from the CIC. We were in the smaller cafeteria, the one for the infiltrators, mainly the senior ones, and those who actually ran things here. So Adhipan. Wreg. Me and Revik––

  I flinched, closing my eyes.

  Wreg gripped me tighter in his hand.

  “Princess.” He pulled me closer, so that his mouth was by my ear. “I’ll call Yumi,” he murmured to me. “Is that all right? Can I call her?”

  I tried to think about that.

  But I couldn’t imagine talking to anyone right then. I really just wanted to sleep.

  I thought about asking Jon and Wreg if I could crash in their room, then remembered they’d only just come out of their honeymoon with one another. They were newlyweds. They didn’t want me crashing in their bed. They didn’t want anyone crashing in their bed.

  “Allie, it’s okay,” Jon said. “It’s fine.”

  He was holding my other arm now. Worry leaked into his voice.

  “You can sleep in our room,” Jon added, looking at Wreg. “It’s fine. Isn’t it? We’re both totally good with that, Allie.”

  “Of course, princess,” Wreg said, stroking my hair back from my face. “You can stay with us. For as long as you want. It is no trouble at all.”

  I shook my head, trying to extricate myself from both of them.

  I could feel their light around me, suffocating me now.

  They wanted to help, I could feel that they wanted to help, but I felt the rest of it, too, the wanting to put me somewhere, to manage me, to call Revik and Yumi and whoever else. I could feel them calling Balidor in the background, talking to Yumi, to Chandre, to Tarsi.

  I felt Kali in that somewhere, and winced again, grimacing.

  “No.” My voice came out forceful, loud to my own ears. “No,” I said, shaking my head. “Please. Just leave me alone. I need to go up to the deck.”

  “Allie.” Jon sounded at a loss. “You can’t go up there. You’ll freeze.”

  She can’t sleep right now, either, Wreg murmured to him. It’s not a good idea, brother. Balidor says she could go into the stasis, and we can’t afford that right now. If she goes somewhere where we can’t find her and falls asleep––

  I understand, Jon broke in. We can try and keep her here, at least until someone comes. Jon frowned at me, hazel eyes shining in the green organic lights. Where the hell is Balidor? Is he bringing that seer with him? Kali? Or the other one?

  I don’t know. They’re coming, though. Him, Tarsi and Yumi, at least.

  I shook my head, shutting my eyes against the voices swirling around me.

  Jon caught hold of me with both hands. He gripped me, harder when I closed my eyes. When I refused to open them, he shook me a little, making my stomach lurch, my head go loose on my neck.

  “Allie!” he said, sharp. “Allie! You need to stay here. Don’t go to sleep, okay? Wreg says you can’t go unconscious right now. It’s not good for you. Okay?”

  I hadn’t realized I’d been trying to leave until he stopped me. I fought to get free of him, to get free of both of them, but Jon only tightened his hold.

  “Allie! We need you to stay here, okay?”

  “No.” I shook my head. I pushed at him. I wanted to go up on the deck. I wanted to look at the water, get away from all of the voices, but I knew they’d only follow me.

  “Yes.” Jon’s voice was gentle, but firm. “Stay here, okay? Please, Al. Please.”

  He sounded nearly in tears.

  I tried to pull away a third time, but he yanked me closer, away from the door.

  I didn’t think that time.

  I slammed out with my light, letting it explode out of me.

  It happened so fast, I didn’t open my eyes until my light had already left my fingers.

  I saw all of it, though––it unfolded in slow motion in my mind. The sound cut out, leaving my mind to track everything I saw in minute detail.

  Jon stumbled backwards.

  His arms moved as if underwater, his hands grasping open air as he slid across the metal floor. A distant déjà vu came over me as I watched him fly through the air. I pictured glasses falling, bouncing and shattering in a diner in San Francisco, his back hitting a table… a younger Jon, with different eyes, longer hair, more meat on his body, a rounder, softer face.

  No glasses fell this time. Jon didn’t crash into a table.

  He wore different clothes, his shoulders were broader, he no longer had two of his fingers, and his eyes shone with a light I could see even as he moved away from me. He let out a low grunt as his back hit into the wall by the espresso maker.

  He fell to his knees, gasping.

  And suddenly, the room was really really quiet.

  I blinked my eyes, fighting to see through the light in my irises.

  When I finally could, Wreg stood between me and my brother, his black eyes wide, his whole body trembling, shaking with adrenaline and fight. He held up one hand towards me, putting the entirety of his muscular bulk between me and Jon.

  Tears filled Wreg’s eyes as I watched.

  Behind him, Jon pulled himself to his feet, leaning against the wall. His arm wrapped around his chest, and I saw fear in his face, and his eyes as he stared at me, fighting for breath.

  I felt pain on him, physical pain, although he fought to control it.

  “Esteemed Sister.” Wreg’s voice was loud, holding light, enough light to confuse me. He raised his hand higher. “Please! Please do not hurt my mate. He wants only to help you. Both of us do. Please… if you must hurt someone, hurt me! He is already wounded, sister… please do not harm him any more!”

  “Wreg, get the fuck away from her!” Jon said loudly, his voice holding fear, even as he continued to fight to catch his breath. “Get away from her! Now, goddamn it!”

  I stared at Wreg. Blinking, I looked at Jon behind him.

  Some part of me couldn’t put the two things together.

  I couldn’t make sense of what Wreg said, or what was wrong. Whatever caused that fear on his face, I knew I’d done it. Whatever made that pain and fear come off Jon’s light, I knew I’d done that, too––and now Wreg’s body and light exuded pain as well.

  He stood between me and my brother, protecting Jon from me.

  I fought with my mind, trying to make it work, even as a denser anger slid through me. I could feel them converging
on me now, coming for me like a wild animal. They’d hit me with a dart, throw me in a cage.

  Maybe they were right to do it.

  I thought about Revik downstairs, in his own kind of cage. I tried to remember what I’d said to him. Something about trying to remember that, the exact words that passed between us when I last saw him––it just killed my anger.

  It left me tired, feeling lost.

  I looked around at all of them, feeling them staring at me.

  I saw Ullysa sitting there, her eyes wide, holding more understanding than the rest of them. I looked at her, at her flawless face and violet eyes and gorgeous, perfectly-coiffed red hair, and I remembered the two of us sitting in that exact same booth just a few nights before, along with Chandre, Hondo and Neela.

  We’d been playing cards.

  We’d been drinking, playing cards, talking about life, about the op in Macau.

  I remembered Ullysa telling me about a boat ride she’d taken to Victoria with her last lover, saying how I should go with Revik sometime, whenever we––

  My brain didn’t want to complete the thought.

  Ullysa rose slowly to her feet.

  Moving carefully, but still with that grace of hers, that perfect, feminine way she moved and her movie-star body, she kept her eyes on my face, her light exuding grief as she walked towards me. She was an infiltrator, but she was soft, too.

  Like Kali. Like my mother.

  Nothing like me.

  Her long red hair hung freely down her back, and I found myself staring at it, wondering if she’d worn the same dress with Revik.

  She was my friend. She’d been to my wedding.

  “Sister.” Ullysa held out a hand to me, her eyes filling with tears. “Sister. I am so sorry. I am so sorry. I thought…” She choked on the words. “I thought you knew about this. He told me you knew. That you approved…”

  I fought to understand her, to make sense of her words.

  “I thought you knew,” she said, softer. Tears ran down her face. “He told me you knew, beloved sister. That you’d spoken about this. I thought he had permission––”

  Before I could get past the look on her face, Wreg raised his voice.

  “Sister!” he growled. I heard understanding in his words. Even more, I felt it in his light. His voice turned harsh, openly angry. “Get the fuck away from her. Now!”