by Tonia Brown
I wondered about this as she put out the lantern and began returning her equipment to her tray. Once she had everything squared away again, she took a clean bit of cotton from the trolley and wiped at my forehead. I hadn’t even realized I had broken into a sweat.
“Would you like to see him?” she said softly as she daubed at my wet brow.
“Who?” I said.
She surreptitiously flicked her eyes to the open slot in the door behind her and mouthed, “Vincent.”
“He won’t let me,” I said in softer voice this time.
“He might,” she whispered. “If I talk to him on your behalf. It’s my professional opinion that it would do you some good to see your friend.” She reached for my hand again, adjusting the bandage.
I grabbed her wrist with my remaining fingers. A painful act to be sure, but I wanted her full attention, and for her to remain with her back to the door. She looked me dead in the eyes, a flash of uncertainty flitting across her face.
“Why are you being so kind to me?” I said.
She smiled. “Because you have something that is sorely lacking in this world, Mr. Jackson. You have integrity. You’re a good man at heart. That is a rare thing out here. It is a rare thing in the world.”
“Bullshit,” I said. “My integrity didn’t seem to matter when you had me at your full mercy. Why now?”
“Circumstances have changed. I have a clearer view of things now.”
“You mean you need someone on your side.”
She smiled wider.
“I don’t suppose you’re hoping that this integrity of mine will somehow get you out of here?” I said.
Chambers continued to smile, but didn’t answer.
I released her hand. “I don’t know what you expect from a man chained to a wall in a basement.”
“You’re resourceful, Theo. I am sure you will find yourself free soon enough.”
I sensed a deeper meaning to those words. Something more than just hopeful, idle chatter. She gave another knowing smile.
“What do you know that I don’t?” I said.
She glanced behind her, then quickly leaned into me, whispering furiously in my ear, “Dillon is planning something huge. I don’t know all of the details but I do know you’re at the center of it. I also gathered they intend to start letting you out into the yard in preparation for—”
Over her words, the door flew open and Dillon stormed into the room. “Doctor Chambers? Did I instruct you to hold a conversation with our friend here?”
Her face went pale again as she kept her eyes on me. “No sir. You did not.”
Dillon grabbed the doctor by a handful of graying hair, yanking her to him. He lowered his mouth to her ear, or rather jerked her up to his face as he shouted, “Then why are you talking to him?”
She hissed a bit but didn’t struggle. This was a woman who had seen this kind of abuse before. “I needed to warn him about the amputation. He had to ready himself or…” her words trailed off, as if she couldn’t think of a suitable lie.
“Or?” Dillon said.
Chambers fell quiet and tears rose to her eyes.
Dillon twisted the handful of hair to the tune of her rising whimper. “That’s what I thought.” He tossed her to one side, where she tumbled into the arms of a few waiting men. They caught and held her tightly in place while Dillon glared at her. “What to do with you?” He glanced about the room until his eyes landed on the tray of instruments.
A grin crept over the maniac’s face.
He took a few steps toward the trolley and snapped up the clippers. The same pair the doctor had just used to cut off my finger. Dillon gave them a squeeze, opening and closing them a few times as he strode back toward Chambers.
“Stick out your tongue,” he said.
Terror flared in her wide eyes and she shook her head.
“Stick out your god damned tongue!” Dillon shouted.
Chambers trembled in fear, her eyes locked on the clippers. Dillon motioned to the men on either side of her. One squeezed her by the cheeks while Dillon began fishing around in her mouth with his fingers. I prayed she was smart enough to not bite down. God only knew what Dillon would do to her then.
“Stop it,” I said. “She’s too frail for that. You’re going to kill her.”
Dillon ignored me. He grabbed a hold of Chambers’s tongue and yanked on it, pulling it out as far as he could. He slid the clippers around the fleshy, pink muscle.
“Dillon!” I shouted. “Does that make you feel like a man?”
Still holding the clippers around her tongue, Dillon questioned me with an ugly sneer on his already ugly face.
“Taking your aggression out on old folks who can’t fight back?” I said. “Does that make you feel like a real man?”
He lost it then, throwing the clipper to the floor as he crossed the room toward me. He punched me across the jaw. My head snapped to the left, twisting my neck with a bright pop. That was a good one. That was gonna hurt for a good long while. I didn’t care how much it hurt. I took delight in antagonizing the bastard. And I was sort of hoping I could trick the jackass into just killing me and getting it over with.
“Did your daddy teach you to beat on women like that?” I said. “Or did that come natural to you as a whining little shit?”
Dillon growled and punched me in the gut then gave me an uppercut that sent my head bouncing against the wall behind me. He raised his hand again, then paused as understanding came upon him. He collected his anger and motioned to his men. “Get her back to her cell. We can think of a suitable punishment for her later.”
The pair of men dragged the sobbing Chambers from the room.
Dillon ran his shaking hands through his hair, further calming himself. “I see now. You like her.”
I furrowed my brow as I spat a bloody wad to the floor. “What?”
“Of course you do. You like everyone.”
“That’s going a bit far. Just because I don’t beat the ever living snot out of everyone I meet don’t mean I like everyone.”
“Yes, I can see that Doctor Chambers has endeared herself to you. I don’t know what she told you to get on your good side, but it doesn’t really matter. None of this will matter soon.”
Well, if that didn’t sound as ominous as a pair of rusty clippers nipping near my remaining pinky I didn’t know what did. “Soon? What’s happening soon?”
He cocked his head at me. “Good. She didn’t get to tell you. Excellent. Then it is still a surprise.” Dillon drew close to me, bringing his face inches from mine. The large scars along his cheek had faded to dull pink rows and pockmarks. He was healing, though his handsome, boyish looks were never going to return. “And I know how you just love surprises. Tell me you love surprises.”
I sneered, yet said nothing. Though I could see movement out of the corner of my vision, I kept my eyes locked on Dillon’s. Without warning, the throbbing in my left hand jumped up a few levels until it was an outright burning beacon of pain. Dillon was pressing his fingers straight into the fresh wound. I twisted in my bonds and gritted my teeth.
“Tell me you love surprises,” Dillon demanded. He pressed harder until it was all I could do to breathe let alone speak.
“I love surprises,” I finally gasped.
The pain backed down to a dull roar as Dillon released me and stood straight once more. I found myself panting from the effort of it all, my heart racing a million miles a minute. I was getting far too old for this.
“Good,” Dillon said. “We have a lot to prepare for, you and I. We are going to have so much fun. Yes, yes we are. I am going to leave you to think about that for a while.”
“You best not wait too long,” I said.
“And why is that?”
“Because I’m gonna need more than just a bucket to piss in. And
soon.”
He grinned, though there wasn’t a trace of humor in that cold smile. “I tell you what. Why don’t you just go where you are, like the fucking animal you truly are. I am sure this won’t be the first time you’ve shit all over yourself while in chains.” Dillon turned and all but skipped out of the room he was so pleased with himself.
I couldn’t wait to beat the smug smile off of that ugly face of his.
The lights blinked out once more, leaving me alone in the dark to contemplate his parting words. And just how right they were.
* * *
Hours came and went without hide nor hair of a visitor. Once more it was no food, no water, no relief. I hung there, naked as a jaybird and covered in my own filth, growing weaker and weaker. My hand healed enough to stop aching. At least I think it did. I was so numb from head to toe from hanging there for so long I stopped feeling much of anything. Somewhere in this seemingly endless confinement, I began to hope that Dillon had forgotten about me. That he had wandered off to deal with some other childish project of his and lost interest in torturing me. Good. At least he wouldn’t take out his anger at me on other folks.
And maybe I would finally just die.
I wanted that more than anything at that moment in time. For the sweetness of death to come and take me from this place. I begged Him, in silence, to show some mercy for once and take me home. Either that or send me off to the burning fires of eternal Hell rather than leave me here in this hell. I didn’t really want to die. I just wanted to be done with it. I was tired beyond even my ability to cope. Even with my heightened physical prowess and other abnormal capacities, all of this was becoming too much to deal with.
The virus might’ve strengthened my body, but it didn’t help my broken heart.
Too much had gone wrong. Too many folks had died by my actions. Too many more were either suffering or were doomed to suffer. And all because I had to get mixed up in Dillon’s affairs. As I lay chained to that wall in the cold and dark, I reminded myself over and over the names and nature of my life of sin. I assured myself of my place in the universe, which was to say I punished myself worse than Dillon could ever manage.
I don’t know how long I did this. Hours. Days. A week? Thanks to the lack of windows, and the lack of visitors, I long since lost track on the passage of time. Years had passed in my tired heart. I weighed myself down with the suffering of everyone I had ever known. I didn’t think I could go on. I didn’t want to go on.
Until gentle hands pulled me from my bonds and lowered me to the floor.
“Be careful with him,” a woman said. “Dillon wants him alive.”
“Yes, ma’am,” a man said.
The release, while exquisite, brought about a whole world of pain. I coughed and sputtered as I reached the ground while every muscle not filled with pins and needles set to cramping. I rolled about on the floor, moaning at the involuntary contractions running all over my tired body.
“It’s all right, Theo,” the woman said, cradling me to her.
The lamps burned now, lighting the room and nearly blinding me. I blinked away the brightness, only to find myself staring at a familiar face. Gill. She sat by me, cradling my head in her lap as she whispered to me. The woman might have meant this as a kind gesture, but being in her arms again was the last place I wanted to be.
I tried to right myself and scramble away. I tried to fight back. I managed neither. All I could do was lay there like a baby in her arms.
“I’ve got you,” she said. “It’s all right.”
“The hell it is,” I croaked. I took a weak swipe at her.
Someone smacked my hand away as a familiar voice said, “Hands off.”
“It’s fine,” Gill said. “Go on. Leave us be.”
“I ain’t leaving you alone with him,” the man said. “He’s dangerous.”
I finally recognized the voice as belonging to young Kenneth. I lolled my head to the side and found him standing over me with a pistol pointed too near my head.
“He’s just angry with me,” Gill said. “He has a right to be. I can handle him, Ken. You know that.”
The kid looked at me for a moment, then returned the pistol to its holster. “And you’re certain Dillon is fine with this?”
“He’s the one that told me to come down here and get Theo cleaned up. Do you think I want to do this?”
“You’re a kind woman, Miss Gill. I don’t think you want to do this, but I think you sort of have to.” Ken nodded to the door. “I’ll be right over there, but I gotta keep the door barred. Those are the rules.”
“I know. I’ll be fine.”
“Right,” Ken said, and stepped through the door, closing it behind him.
“What was all that about?” I said.
“Come on,” Gill said pulling me to my feet. “We haven’t got much time.”
“No,” I said. “Whatever you’re planning on doing, don’t. He will kill you to teach me a lesson.”
“No he won’t.” Gill all but dragged my naked rump to the edge of a wooden bench, where she helped me lay down on my back.
It was the most I could manage at that moment. My legs trembled uncontrollably even without my weight on them.
“How are you feeling?” she said.
I rubbed at my raw wrists and aching hands. “How do you think?”
“I’m serious, Theo. I need to know if you’re hurt in any way so I can help you.”
I snorted at that. Considering she was one of the folk that led me here, it was a rather amusing idea that she would want to help me now. “I’ve been in better shape, though I’ve been in far worse. No thanks to you and your friend.”
“Dillon is no friend to me.”
To my surprise and comfort, a warm stream of water touched my shoulder and ran down my right arm. This was followed by a soft cloth rubbing across my shoulder, chasing the water down my arm. Gill moved the rag in slow circles, stopping to scrub some of the more stubborn spots. I lay there like a babe, letting her wash me and enjoying it more than I thought I would. She took her time, getting into every nook and cranny. When she got below my waist she kept right on going, not losing her stride for a moment. I supposed it didn’t matter if she had her hands all over me, considering our night spent together what seemed a lifetime ago. Gill helped me turn onto my stomach and I drew a line when I felt her rub that cloth around my filthy backside.
“I can do that part,” I said.
“Don’t be embarrassed,” she said. “I’ve seen it all before.”
“I’m not embarrassed. It’s too dirty a job. For anyone.” I was gonna say for a lady, but I hadn’t lost my ire at her.
“Nonsense,” Gill said. “You can’t even hold your own arms up without shaking. Besides, I don’t mind. I’ve cleaned many a child before. You’re no different. Just bigger.”
I looked to the door as she washed me, wondering if that kid was watching the whole thing. “How long have I been here?”
“It’s been nearly a week since you arrived,” she said. “Give or take a day.”
A week, huh? I thought about this, trying to dissect the days and visits, translating them into relatable hours, and failing. “Did Dillon really send you in here just to give me a bath?”
“Yes and no,” she said. “I talked him into giving you some time out of those chains. He seems to think he can hang you up there like a side of beef for a week or two and then just trot you out of here. It took a few days to convince him the longer you hang the weaker you will be.”
“You got that right.” I was starting to get some feeling back in my arms and legs. I flexed my feet as she scrubbed my legs.
“The bath was my idea,” she added.
“Ah, well, thanks. I guess not all of your plans end in bloodshed.”
She gave a tired sigh. “Theo, I know you’re angry with me, b
ut you have to understand—”
I mustered all of my strength and sat up, knocking her bucket of soapy water to the floor. “Angry with you doesn’t begin to cover it.”
“Ma’am?” Ken said through the slot in the door. “Is everything all right?”
“It’s fine,” she said, righting her bucket. “I’ll call you if I need you.”
I got to my feet and stared down at her, seething with my entire being. “Are you satisfied now? Roger and Robert are dead and you let Dillon destroy everyone in Convergence to get to them. Did you get what you wanted?”
She sat back on her heels, looking up at me. “I have many regrets. If I had known Dillon was capable of such things, I never would have sought his help.”
“You could’ve asked anyone out here.” I sat back down, giving my cramping legs a rest. “Anyone could’ve told you exactly what he was capable of.”
“I was blinded by my anger. I realize that now. What’s done is done.”
I hung my head, rubbing at my pounding temples. “That’s a hell of a way to put it.”
“I didn’t come here to talk about my transgressions. I begged Dillon to let me tend to you because I wanted to tell you that I am leaving. I won’t be back.”
“Ready to move on to the next sucker, huh?” I said.
She winced, but didn’t respond.
“What about your man?” I said. “He ain’t gonna let a pretty young thing like you just waltz out of here like that. I am sure he has plans for you.”
“He does,” she said. “Those plans include my presence in Iron Station. They require my services.”
“Services? Is that what you call whoring yourself out to get revenge on folks? A service?”
Gill slapped me across the jaw, nearly as hard as Dillon had socked me hours before. Hours? Days? She gritted her teeth and spat her next few words at me. “You listen here, Mr. high and mighty. We don’t all have the luxury of traipsing around the Badlands without worry for our lives. We all can’t live by our fists alone. Not all of us get to be a feared legend. I make do with what I have and use it as I see fit. You don’t get to judge me. No one gets to judge me.”