Would she trust him enough to allow him to make love to her anywhere? And he did mean anywhere, the grocery store, inside museums, on the bus, in the park just to name a few. Many of his bedmates did all of these things and more. But the funny thing was no matter of the color of their skin he always imagined Willow’s face. He only heard her voice as they screamed out in pleasure or if they were screaming his name. Would she allow him to teach her how he liked to be touched? Would she let him show her how he liked to be stroked? He had a mildly freakish nature. He like having his penis pounded hard. He liked the stress of his scrotum being pulled to the limit. He liked rough textures rubbed over his penis. Could she accept that? Could she be a partner in his sexual escapades? He had had multiple women in his bed just to try to assuage his desire for Willow. He had never led anyone to believe they were in a relationship. It was only about satisfying an itch. They were essentially just time fillers until he could get Willow ready to become the woman he really wanted. His penis had jumped in his pants. His penis only jumped like that for Willow. He was so very excited over the prospect, he needed to calm down.
I need to focus on something else. In contrast, the apartment had a Spartan appearance. I should cut my tongue out I am in Wolverine territory. He allowed a small smile to play on his lips. No pictures of friends or family. Just a lone spiral pocket calendar was opened to the monthly section on the breakfast bar. Everything was written in pencil. She had very precise hand writing. It was slightly slanted to the left. The walls were stark white. There was the furniture and that that was it. Nothing was out of place. There wasn’t a speck of dirt, anywhere not even a stray piece of lint. She had a beautiful view being on the tenth floor. For one person, it was a nice sized apartment. It was a nice sized apartment for two people. He could see the neatly made bed with specialty linens. He loved the Jacquard stripe of the tan, dark green and maroon. There was even a light golden sheen to it. Bedding suited for a king and his queen. He remembered helping her look online one early rainy morning. She fell in love with the pattern on first sight. He purchased it for her. When she received the shipment she waited for him so they could open the package together. It was if they had received a bridal shower or a wedding gift from a registry. She thanked him over and over. But, he was pleased to do it.
“So do you just let anyone in the apartment or were you somehow expecting me?” Willow whipped around so fast that the onion she was peeling slammed to the floor.
“Darden why are you here? I thought I told you not to comeback.” Willow picked up the onion and tossed into the garbage pail under the sink. She walked to the door and held it open for Darden. Just then Sean was walking up. “Darden please, don’t make a scene.” Darden swept her into his arms and kissed her soundly. There was nothing chaste about the kiss. He took her mouth by storm. Willow felt like she was being devoured alive. She didn’t even put up a fight nor did she bite him when his tongue entered her mouth. Darden felt Willow give in to the kiss. And press her body more fully against him. Her thighs seemed to be cradling his semi-engorged sex. Darden pulled his mouth away slowly and glanced at her before giving his full attention to Sean.
“Why don’t you go to the bathroom so you can get yourself together?” Willow was dazed and reeling from the hot as lightning kiss, she couldn’t speak because her lips were still tingling, and she could only nod her head. Willow excused herself to go into to the bathroom on wobbly legs to get her head on straight.
I Need A Girl (Part 1) by Diddy was playing now. Well these lyrics were somewhat apropos. He did need a girl and her name was Willow. Darden had had just about enough, now it was time to stake claim to his woman. .“Sean, I don’t know why you can’t take the hint. But, I will be more than happy to spell it out for you. She belongs with me and only me. As you can plainly see, we aren’t just friends. I intend to marry her. I want forever and always, you on the other hand don’t want anything honorable.”
“She invited me here.” Sean couldn’t believe Darden had just kissed her like that and she said and did nothing. Well besides seeming to melt under the onslaught of the kiss. It was obvious that there was more going on than he realized and quite possibly more than Willow realized. A blind man could see that he had kissed her senseless.
“I am sure she did but, only because she is mad at me. She is using you to get back at me. Why else would she have invited you here? Whether she admits it or not we’re in love and always have been. So why don’t you just leave now before any further embarrassment occurs for you.”
“I am not going anywhere until I hear it from her.”
Darden gave a small chuckle. “Are you having trouble believing your own eyes? Then let me give you something more to think about. You know and have seen for yourself that I have kissed her. And knowing Willow the way I do, she wouldn’t allow me to kiss her if you were somehow in the picture. You’re not even a thought right now. She had no problem kissing me in front of you. She wasn’t even the least bit apologetic. So again, why are you still standing here?” Darden stood looking very confident.
Sean turned on his heel and slammed the door. It was obvious to Darden that Sean wants more but how much more he doesn’t know. It was also obvious that Sean might not talk to Willow anymore since he put that little tidbit of information in his ear.
Willow came out of the bathroom her eyes darting around the apartment. “Where is Sean?”
“He left.” Darden had what looked like humor, satisfaction and mischief all rolled into one showing in his eyes.
“He left? Why would he leave? I invited him here. What did you say to him?” She was still reeling from the kiss. But, at this point her main concern was for Sean. Lord only knows what Darden would have said.
“Nothing, I am willing to bet he saw the kiss and came to his own conclusions.”
“Why did you kiss me like that? You gave him the wrong impression.”
“No, I didn’t. I gave him the right impression. I want a relationship, a long term relationship. I want you. I don’t know how to be any clearer. Besides you didn’t fight the kiss and you participated in it fully. Sean had to have seen that as well. Maybe you need to start listening to you heart and stop listening to your brain.” Darden moved to the stove and turned it off. Then he moved to the door and locked it. After a quick glance around, he walked back to where Willow was still standing. He reached for both of her hands and brought them up to his lips and kissed each of them while he looked deep into her eyes. “I want forever with you but, I need you to give us a chance. We have a beautiful chemistry together. We always have. We used to be able to complete each other sentences. I would be willing to bet our hearts beat exactly the same.” He placed her hand over his heart and her other hand over hers. He watched her eyes widen in the realization that he was right.
“How do you expect me to trust you when you crushed my hopes and dreams in the past? I am so afraid of being hurt by you. I am even more afraid of disappointing you.”
Darden frowned. “How could you ever be able to disappoint me?” Darden pulled her in to his embrace.
“I don’t know if I can be . . . you know . . . intimate with you. I am not so naïve to believe that you are willing to go without sex.”
“I am not some asshole off the street who, doesn’t know and understand about the past. I know we will have to take things very slowly. We may need to get professional help. We may need to talk with a sex therapist. I don’t know. What I do know is, for right now I am more than satisfied with our kisses and holding you in my arms. I have never forced myself on anyone. And I won’t do anything that you don’t want me to. We will work through this together.” Darden’s arm tightened possessively around her. He gave her a soft kiss. He slowly deepened the kiss. Darden lifted her and cradled her in his arms and walked over the sofa and sat down. He rearranged her so she was straddling him. He placed his hand on either side of her face and gently pulled her face to his and kissed her. “When you want me to stop I will stop. We will sta
rt and stop then start all over from the beginning. I want you to be able to trust me and eventually let go of all your inhibitions with me. I want it to be fun never a chore or a duty. I want you to feel comfortable telling me yes or no. I want you to tell me what feels good and what doesn’t. I want you to let me know if you feel uncomfortable. I never want you to be afraid because you could never disappoint me.”
Willow didn’t know what to say. “Sweetheart, do you trust me?”
“What about the other women? Will I have to endure embarrassment?” Willow wasn’t sure she could take any more heartache an especially not over this man.
Darden frowned at her? Didn’t she know no one else held so as little as a candle to her? That in his eyes it was only her. Yes, he had had his share of women. But none of them meant a damn thing to them. “There won’t be any other women. There will only be you.
I am ready to do the right thing. I am not going to lie to you, I have had many women that I fucked or had sex with. But none of them have I ever made love to or with. There is a difference. When we make love each and every time my heart will be it. You will know from the beginning I love only you and will give myself only to you. With you my only intention is to make love to you. That eventually we will make love together.
“Willow, do you trust me? You should know me well enough to know I would never hurt you. You said so yourself that I was your protector. So allow me to protect your heart. To keep your heart safe, allow me once again to keep you safe and make you feel secure.”
“You are asking so much, so soon.”
He stood abruptly. He asked her to wrap her legs around him. Willow was hesitant at first. Willow asked, “What are you doing?”
Darden simply grinned. He started walking toward her bedroom. Willow’s eyes grew huge. “Darden, I am not ready for this!”
“You are ready for what we are going to do. I have waited three years to hold you in my arms again as I slept. I plan to have the best sleep I have had since we left your parent’s house.”
She couldn’t believe it. “Darden is that true you haven’t slept well since then? Darden shifted Willow in his arms and laid her down across the bed. He kissed her gently at first. He intended to break the kiss to answer but he couldn’t. He felt himself become nestled between her legs which caused him to moan deeply. He had to break the kiss now. He pulled away from her and it felt like a hand was closing in around his heart. He hated to pull away from her. He pulled the covers back on the bed and asked her to climb in. He pulled the comforter down to the bottom of the bed as it wasn’t needed. He would be the one to keep her comfortable. He placed the sheet over her and laid down on top of the sheet and pulled her tightly against him. “Just relax and remember how things used to be between us. And to answer your question, yes it is true.”
Willow was in heaven. She couldn’t believe she could affect any man like that let alone Darden. She gently pushed herself deeper into his arms. This was magnificent. She had dreamt of moments like this but had reconciled in her mind that is would always just be a dream. She had concluded that Darden would one day go on and marry and she would be invited to the wedding of course but, she couldn’t and wouldn’t be available to go. She would make damn sure of it. How painful it would be to watch him marry someone else. And now he is actually offering forever to her? He must be mad! What healthy, red blood male would want to be saddled with someone who couldn’t be intimate with him and much more than that could have his child. I have to tell him. I can’t count on him to stay once he realizes what I could never provide him.
Willow finally heard the soft sounds of his breathing that indicated he was sleeping. She moved ever so slightly to look at his profile. She admired his strong jaw with the beginnings of a shadow of stubble on it. Then, looked down at the contrast of her dark skin and his white skin with just a hint of being sun-kissed, probably from being out on a golf course somewhere in the south.
Willow smiled as always Darden had been right she did love him. But could her love sustain them both? The right thing to do was end this as soon a possible and set Darden free once and for all. They were going to talk, correction she was going to talk and Darden was going to listen. For his own good, he had better listen. She loved him more then he realized which is why she was going to let him go. Let It Flow by Toni Braxton was playing as Willow was just drifting off to sleep.
.
Chapter 4
“Sweetheart, wake up.” Darden gently eased Willow into wakefulness. It was already after two o’clock in the afternoon and he was famished. Holding her in his arms like this was the best thing he has done in three years bar none. Willow felt very soft in his arms. He loved the feeling of his hard body against her softness. The clothing and the top sheet hadn’t diminished the feeling at all. In some ways it seemed to enhance the feeling. “Willow, are you hearing me?”
“Yes, “I am hearing you. It is just I am so not ready to wake up yet. I fear it is just another one of my vivid dreams.”
“It is no dream. In your dreams does this happen?” Darden lifted her head to kiss her lips. Once connection was made he maneuvered her body over his. His hands slid up and down her back in straight planes at first and then with his thumbs, his practiced hands began to make concentric circles along her spine relaxing her that much more. His tongue began to mimic the circles of his thumbs. His tongue thoroughly explored her mouth. Then it began to play a sensual game of tag with her tongue until he could latch on and then release her tongue in a myriad of ways. She was moaning while he was groaning out their pleasure.
She somehow found the strength to push against his chest to stop his oral onslaught. She placed her head against his shoulder and breathed heavily. She began to notice that his hands hadn’t stop moving. His four fingers were doing the massaging now and alternate sized circles were being created. “Darden, what are you doing to me?”
“I am making love to you. It is just the beginning of the kind of foreplay you can expect from me.”
If this was foreplay, he is going to kill me when it comes to the intercourse. Oh my God why am I thinking about this? The plan was to end this catastrophic relationship before it starts. Your body is responding to him. He was right when he said you loved him. Maybe he is right about my abilities not to disappoint him? But, still ultimately I can’t give him a baby. I would never be able to carry a baby. Too much damage has been done internally. There are months that go by with no menstrual flow and then there are months that go by that I think in 2 hours I will bleed through my clothing. I am such a mess internally how could he ever want me.
“Darden, I need to tell you something and it is important. I can’t bear any children. I will probably never be able to carry any. So you can just go, now that you know that. I won’t be angry or anything and I will completely understand if you want to seek out other relationships.” Why was he looking at me as though I had suddenly grown an arm out of my forehead?
Darden flipped Willow on to her back so fast it scared her. “Now you need to listen, I know all about your supposed inability to have children. I don’t give a royal damn about it. There are multiple ways for us to have children if that is what we want.” Darden paused. His brow was deeply creased. “I am going to say this only once and I want you to understand and make no mistake about my meaning. I want YOU. I don’t give a damn about what you can and cannot give me. I, of all the people in the world, know the circumstances. I know it better than anyone outside of you. I knew days before you what had happened to you internally, when you were still drugged up and made to sleep until your parents could make some decisions on your behalf. I agonized about their decisions and their waiting to ultimately do nothing to help you. I was so angry. I don’t blame you at all. None of this is your fault. At times, I wish I had acted on the impulse of carrying you out of the house and getting the medical attention you needed. To be honest, I wasn’t sure if it would do more harm than good. So, I don’t want you to worry about this. Just know I love and w
ant to be with you. That our relationship no matter its ups and downs was meant to be. And as for your inability to have children I am not convinced of that.”
“And what happens when you discover you aren’t right about this?”
“I am right about your love for me and that shall sustain me.” Darden smiled. He ground his hips into Willow make sure she felt his engorgement. “See what you do to me. No woman has ever excited me like this. But, I promised to wait until you are ready for me. But for now, allow me to feast upon these sweet lips and that devilish tongue of yours.” He looked into her eyes and saw her amber colored eyes darken. He knew she desired him as much as he desired her. Darden lowered his mouth to hers and traced the curve of her lips. His tongue licked the top and bottom lip and she parted her lips for him. He licked some more in a lazy fashion before, he could dive into her mouth. He wrapped his tongue around hers and pulled it into his mouth. His heart was beating fast and he was soaring from the pleasure of having her with her legs wrapped around his waist.
Willow’s stomach grumbles loudly. He pulled away from the kiss. “I guess it is time I feed you.”
“I can just finish cooking the breakfast I was preparing.”
Darden began to pull away from her and reached behind him to unlatch her legs. “I’ll be damned if I eat anything that you were preparing for another man. We will go out. I will even let you pick where we go. “
Darden's Pursuit of Happiness: Darden and Willow Page 4