He looked down on Abby with deep longing, because he wondered what would happen to her if he was convicted. Where would she go back in the US? Would she meet a young man who could make her happy, who would love her and her baby, who would touch her at night while they lay side by side, whispering their dreams to each other long into the night? His eyes burned, and for a moment he wanted to hit something as he struggled not to lose it. The thought of another man touching her hurt so much that he thought it would be kinder to feed his heart through a meat grinder.
“Are you all right?” She reached up and placed her slender hand flat on his chest. She was watching him with such concern that he knew he needed to pull it together or she’d be poking around, asking and questioning until someone finally broke down and told her the ugly truth of what Eric was facing. The idea shamed him even though he hadn’t done it.
She shivered and leaned in closer.
“You’re cold.” He rubbed her trembling shoulder, down her arm. “It’s time to go back. I promised the doc I wouldn’t keep you out here long. You need to go back in and rest before dinner.” He surprised himself by what came out next. “Would you like to join me for dinner tonight? We’ll eat with the officers in the wardroom.” He blurted it out because he didn’t want his time with her to end.
“Yes, I would love to have dinner with you tonight.”
As he guided her back toward the hatch, he stopped as they faced aft and gestured with his hand. “I know I didn’t give you the promised tour, but just being on deck, feeling her power, really tells you a lot about a ship. She’s a powerful warship, able to hit targets deep inland if needed, with pinpoint accuracy, at any time, anywhere, under any conditions.” His voice softened.
“She is you,” Abby said, and when he looked at her expression, he knew she meant it. The words were spoken with so much respect and pride that his heart expanded with more love than he thought was ever possible.
Chapter Twenty
Eric had neglected so many of his duties that he was amazed the ship hadn’t fallen apart. “God, get it together, man,” he barked at himself as he did up his last shirt button on a clean uniform shirt while dressing for dinner. He checked his image in the mirror: He had a tanned complexion, eyes the color of golden whiskey, but he couldn’t hide the sadness lurking in him like shadows. It made his eyes duller, his face harder, but there was nothing he could do about it. He’d love to give himself a hard kick in the ass to make himself focus, get on with things.
He yanked open his door and realized his hands were damp. He wanted to laugh at how pathetic he was. When was the last time he’d been this nervous over a woman? He slammed the door behind him, and one of the crewmen coming his way paled and moved aside.
“Captain,” he said.
Eric kept walking, looking away, his eyes forward, nodding at the passing crewmen. The guard at sickbay opened the door for him, and there she was, looking so fresh and pretty, sitting there waiting. Her whole face lit up when he stepped in.
“Are you ready for dinner?” he asked.
“Yes,” she said eagerly while easing herself off the bed. “I think all that fresh air earlier made me really hungry.”
He was absolutely powerless at the sight before him. All swollen with child, she was lovely, even in the sailor’s castoffs. He was sure in that moment that she would make a grain sack look good. It was instinct for Eric to take her arm and guide her out the door, up to the wardroom where all the officers gathered for dinner. When he stepped into the lush, dark wood room, with Abby’s fingers digging into his arm, a hush fell as all eyes turned and looked at Abby. Eric sensed her tensing up as her grip tightened on his arm. She must have felt as though she was on display, because she stepped closer and darted a worried glance at him.
Eric searched out Joe, who cleared his throat and said, “The captain’s now here, everyone. Abby’s his guest tonight. You all remember Abby? Let’s not embarrass her to death.”
Eric pulled out a chair in the middle of the table for Abby and slid her chair in. He sat beside her. A seaman appeared at his side with two plates, placing one in front of Abby, the other in front of the captain.
“Sir, your dinners your pre-ordered. Is there anything else I can get you?”
“No, that will be all.”
“Sorry, Captain. We didn’t wait for you,” Joe said from across the table.
Eric leaned down to Abby, as she was looking confused. “It’s customary for the officers to wait until I’ve arrived before eating, but we were late.” He watched her staring at the plate filled with a huge portion of roast beef, potatoes, and broccoli. To him, it smelled so good his mouth was watering. “Do you like roast beef?”
Her eyes widened when she glanced at him again. “I haven’t had roast beef in so long. I think I’m in heaven, it smells so good.” She picked up her fork and knife, cut off a piece, and shoved it in her mouth. She chewed and thought for a moment, and she groaned in pleasure. When he glanced around the table, he noticed the other officers were carrying on their own conversations, with the occasional odd glance at Abby.
“This is a lovely room. I didn’t realize Navy ships were furnished so nicely,” Abby said.
Eric took in what she was seeing: the mahogany table, the sofa and chairs surrounding the flat-screen TV, everything dark wood and first class. She was right. “This is a newer ship. The officers are looked after quite nicely on board. The enlisted, well…nowhere near as nice.”
They ate silently, side by side, and he watched her shy glances across the table to Joe and the other officers. They too looked up from the captain to Abby, but it was when Eric heard someone say something—“That Carruthers broad, which one of us will she try to take down next?”—that his blood ran cold. He stared so hard at Joe that he felt every one of his muscles knot up with icy dread. He knew what they were talking about, but how could he get that idiot at the end of the table to shut the fuck up without ripping him out of his chair and ramming his fist down his throat?
“Taylor, did you get those reports on all the activity in the Gulf today done for the captain yet?” Joe said.
Taylor was the idiot mouthing off about Carruthers, and he blinked as if confused. “Well, no, XO. It’s never done after twenty-three hundred hours.” He looked from Joe to the captain, and he should have realized, if he was on the ball, what he’d done. But then, Eric had never told any of them not to talk about what Gail had done, and none of them were ever around Abby. The only person Eric could blame was himself, but he was still pissed.
“Well, tonight the orders have changed. The captain needs it on his desk in an hour,” Joe said.
Taylor did the only thing he could: He wiped his mouth and pushed away from his seat, leaving his dinner half eaten. It wasn’t until Eric took another bite that he could feel Abby staring at him. Her plate was almost empty, and she was holding her fork and knife as though she was waiting for him to say something to her. Her expression was…dark, worried. He was right, which was the worst thing ever. She had heard enough that she’d needle him to death now to find out what was going on, but instead of asking right now, she offered him a smile, took another bite, and gestured with her hands that she was done. She then leaned back into the soft butter leather and waited for Eric to finish.
Chapter Twenty-One
“Captain Hamilton, I’ve heard great things about you.” The young JAG officer assigned to investigate the accusation stood before him with a vivid smile and a beautiful set of white teeth, and she saluted him.
Eric felt as though the solid steel floor had crumbled beneath him and the water was about to swallow them up. Not one intelligent word would solidify in his brain as he stared at the dark-haired beauty who had gripped his hand and given it a hard shake. For some unknown reason, he had expected a man, and Eric could honestly say the fact that they had sent a woman to investigate Gail’s alleged charge against him bothered him more than he could put into words.
“Commander Joan Fox
worth from Langley, Virginia.”
“You don’t look old enough to be a commander.”
Joe rolled his eyes at Eric’s inappropriate remark, and Eric wondered by the flinch in his arm whether he was going to reach out and nudge him.
To Joan’s credit, she didn’t react and fly off the handle. She smiled brightly and said, “Thank you, sir. I’ll take that as a compliment, but I assure you I am old enough and more than qualified.”
Her reply had Joe stifle a grunt beside him, and Eric was unable to match her smile. “Have a seat.” With a motion of his hand, he indicated the empty chair across the desk, beside the chair Joe usually occupied.
Joan was dressed in a white uniform shirt and pants. She did have a very nice figure, and she walked with a grace he hadn’t seen in a long time. “Thank you, sir.” She settled in the chair, her briefcase on the floor beside her.
“Enough with the formality. I presume Joe has filled you in on what he’s come up with?” Eric took his leather chair behind the desk.
Looking over at Joe, Joan nodded with a chaste smile still pasted to her face. “Yes, but I would like to get your official statement, sir, if you don’t mind.” She was professional, a plus in her favor. She didn’t sound as if she’d formed any opinion. She pulled a file out of the black leather briefcase and dropped it on her lap, rifling through the pages. “I have reviewed Gail Carruthers’ statement, along with the statements of the three women: Petty Officer Jennifer Hampton, Seaman Apprentice Brandy Sanford, and Seaman Cassie Hodges. I’ve also read your statement, sir, and I have to say that there does appear to be malice on the part of Gail Carruthers. Can you tell me, sir, why you believe she would accuse you of such a thing?”
For the first time, he found himself at a loss for words, as he scratched his head and gestured blankly in the air. “I don’t know. Maybe you could tell me why a woman would do something like that.”
“I have no idea, Captain. I’m asking you on your best guess: Why do you think she did it?” Joan gestured with a pen toward the captain.
“Commander, she is disrespectful, flagrantly disobeys orders, and I haven’t hesitated to take her to task. But I can tell you I’ve never behaved inappropriately with her or any of the female crew on my ship. Let me be candid with you, Commander. My feelings on women in the military are simple: They don’t belong, especially on a navy ship, and this incident with Carruthers only convinces me further. Mixing men and women in close surroundings…you’re asking for trouble.”
Joe openly groaned at Eric’s blatantly politically incorrect words. He shot him a “What the fuck are you doing?” look as he shook his head.
Joan didn’t seem offended in the least, and she offered a polite smile. “Captain, I understand your feelings, and I can assure you I will be conducting a thorough and fair investigation. I would actually like to get settled, and if it’s possible, I’d like to speak to Carruthers tonight.” She stood up and lifted her briefcase, tucking the file back in the side. “Captain, it is truly a pleasure to meet you.”
Eric frowned and watched the woman, because she sounded as if she was happy to meet him. Joe joined her and opened the door, holding it for her while she left and then giving Eric another one of those looks that said he’d put both his feet in it.
“You are unbelievable,” Joe said, and he left, directing Joan down the passageway.
Eric wasn’t about to apologize to anyone for who he was, even though Joe wanted to plant his foot in his backside right about now. But, hell, he was thrown. A woman, they sent a woman to investigate him?
“Oh, sir, I almost forgot.” Joan popped her head in the door. Joe was right behind her, glaring at Eric with sparks shooting out of his eyes, as if warning him not to say anything else stupid. “I know this is very difficult, but I will keep you informed, sir.” Her reply was courteous and professional, betraying no resentment to the captain.
Joe then said, “I’ll take you to see Gail Carruthers and then see that you get settled, Commander.”
“That would be great. Thank you so much.” She grinned at first the captain and then at Joe, and she once again headed down the passageway. Joe let out a sigh and followed.
Chapter Twenty Two
Joan sat on the dark green sofa in the guest cabin, which had a double bed and separate bath. She flipped through the piles of paper and notes, rereading the scribbled statements from the each of the women. She placed them side by side along with her notes from her meeting with Gail last night. Gail had been downright defensive from the moment Joan had walked into her private cabin, which she’d been assigned after filing her grievance.
She told Joan she had been treated unfairly, but she had also paced and snapped about the guard she was assigned, as if she was the criminal. She said that the guard even refused to leave her alone when she had to use the bathroom, saying it was for her own protection.
Then she had snapped at Joan and said, “You’re protecting the captain, that man who hates women. Ah, the good ol’ Navy, such a boys’ club, so how long did it take you to find your way in?”
“Excuse me?” was all Joan could say.
“Well, I’m a lowly corpsman, an interloper who dared to accuse the renowned Eric Hamilton. I’m just refusing to let him get away with what he did, so now I’m being punished.” She’d paced the small boxlike room like a caged animal.
“You’re not being punished, and I’d like to hear from you what happened,” Joan asked, digging really deep, trying to find a way to listen.
“Why? It’s not as if this is really going to see the inside of a courtroom.”
“Gail, I need to hear from you. Start from the beginning,” Joan directed her.
Gail refused to look at her and gestured with her hand in the air. “Oh, well, when I walked in…”
“Wait. I thought you were already in the room and he came in.”
Gail squeezed her eyes shut. “Yes, yes, what I meant was that I was there when he walked in. He came right up to me, and I was over by the lockers. He leaned back and crossed his arms. He stared down at me and said that if I expected a promotion, I needed to go into the bathroom and let him fuck me.”
Joan had stared at the girl because she thought that at one point, she sounded awfully calm, and not once would she look Joan in the eye. When she finished, she gave a nervous smile. Joan had scribbled down what she said but had been more interested in how she was reacting.
Now, this morning, as she compared the filed report from Gail, she noticed some inconsistencies. In her filed allegation, Gail had said the captain had threatened to put her on report. Last night, she had mentioned a promotion. The problem was that this whole thing was far from neat and tidy. The girl could just be overstressed. Being dogged day and night by a guard and isolated on a ship like this would make anyone a little unsteady.
But there was just something about her. She was by no means good looking: plain, ordinary, with small eyes, a pudgy nose, and thin lips, definitely not the type of girl guys went nuts over. But then, when it came to sexual harassment, no one was immune. But the captain, he was distinguished. Hell, Joan had been shell shocked when she met him. He was tall, by far one hunkiest and most well muscled men she had met. She might have compared him to a Greek god, and she just couldn’t see why he would go for Carruthers. It made no sense. Did the man have some hidden perversion?
But if this was fabricated, why would the girl do it? No, she needed to talk to all the crew, get a feel about the captain and Carruthers, and she needed to talk to the guard who was tailing Gail. Joan glanced at the big black watch on her wrist, which her father had given her when she joined the JAG core. She had treasured it since he died a year later, one week before she won her first case. “Oops,” she muttered and scooted off the bed. Nine hundred hours, and she had a meeting with Joe and the captain.
She packed up her files, including her notes. She had grabbed a quick bite with the enlisted first thing this morning in the mess hall, joining a table with mix
ed crew and listening. She hadn’t needed to ask too many questions because all the talk was focused on the captain, how long he’d get in Leavenworth, and when he’d be stripped of his command. One of the men actually spit on his plate when Gail’s name was mentioned, and another called her a skank. Everyone respected the captain, though. The women said he was opinionated, and the men all said there was no chance in hell that he would do something like this.
One of the files Joan had ordered before she arrived on board slid on the floor as she packed up. She lifted it and quickly fingered through the papers. It was from Gail’s prior postings. What had troubled Joan were the three other accusations of sexual misconduct against Gail’s commanding officers. All of them had been buried, hidden, and never shared with her next posting.
As she closed up the file and slid it in her briefcase, she realized that if this was another false report, it was going to hurt all the innocent violated women in the military, women who had been abused by their commanding officers. Any good lawyer could say the women in the military were filing these false charges to retaliate for a promotion they did not receive, or for being reprimanded in a way that made them feel slighted. “Not good, not good at all,” she said to herself while shaking her head.
She clicked the lock on her briefcase and glanced in the mirror one last time. Her dark hair was neatly pinned up. Her blue eyes had ring of violet around them, and the dark mole on her cheek that had once bothered her growing up now looked like a mere imperfection. Even her dimples, which the men seemed to love, she would trade in a second to be a Cindy Crawford lookalike.
Joan grabbed her briefcase and headed out the door, her heavy shoes clicking down the passageway as she mentally planned her day. First, she had to meet with the captain and Joe, the good-looking XO—she smiled at that. Then she had to meet Petty Officer Johnson. She remembered an Abby who had been mentioned in the mess hall. Several of the crew whispered that she had been in sickbay when it happened. Joan smiled, because with all the gossip she could still pick up from the crew, they were worse than a bunch of women at a tea party. This always made investigations that much easier.
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