by Dyanne Davis
Hamid would once again disappoint his father and bring about the sneer of his older brothers. He thought all of this as the caravan holding his family pulled up to his parents’ home. He stood for a moment watching the women unload, waiting to see Heaven. When she got out, she was laughing, looking at Fatima. Hamid let go of the breath he hadn’t been aware he’d held.
He watched her smiling, and then he saw her head turn slowly in his direction. She grinned widely and stood there for a second before his mother whacked her about the shoulders again and pulled her away. Still, he heard Heaven laughing at it all.
“You can stop worrying, Hamid. I don’t think fate would have chosen a wife for you that your family could not love.”
Startled, Hamid turned. He opened his mouth to speak but no words came. For a moment, heaviness filled his chest, but it was instantly replaced with the feeling that he was floating on air. “Abba.”
“Come on.” His father swung his meaty arm around his shoulder. “Come and introduce me to my new daughter.
“Praise Allah, thanks be to him,” Hamid prayed silently as he followed his father into the house.
Hamid walked with his father up to Heaven. “Abba, I would like to present your new daughter. This is Heaven. Heaven, my father, now yours.”
Heaven was holding her breath. Hamid could see it. He laughed as Heaven craned her neck to look at his father. And to think she’d thought he was tall at six-three and a half. His father was six nine, an impressive figure. Seconds ticked away and Heaven still did not speak, just continued looking at his father.
He moved closer to her and touched her gently. Her eyes swung to meet his and it seemed to loosen her tongue. She blinked and spoke.
“Hello sir, it’s nice to meet you,” Heaven said. But Hamid saw something else in the depth of her eyes and wondered what it was.
“Heaven, what do you think of Pakistan?”
“Truthfully, I haven’t had much of a chance to see anything.” Heaven replied. “From the airport we talked,” her eyes swung to Hamid, “about the wedding.”
“Are you pleased with the wedding arrangements?”
Again, Heaven looked toward Hamid. “I think it’s very nice for you all to go to so much trouble for us,” Heaven kept staring upward, “considering we’re already married.”
His father shook his head. “So that’s the reason you’re staring at me. You’re afraid I’m going to object to the first wedding.” He rubbed his hand across his beard. “It is true we did have a problem with that.”
“That’s not why I’m staring, and I’m sorry that I was. But no, that’s not the reason.”
“Nah?”
“Nah,” Heaven repeated obviously knowing it meant no.
“Then why are you staring?”
“You look exactly like my uncle.”
For a moment, the room went quiet. Then he laughed. “Who knows, Heaven, maybe I am. Come sit with me,” he ordered mildly, “tell me about yourself. You’re Christian, nah?”
“Yes,” Heaven answered.
“And you plan to remain so.”
“Yes.”
He nodded his head. “And the children, what will they be taught?”
“We haven’t really talked about it.”
“You should. It’s important, don’t you agree?”
“Hamid and I are learning to compromise. We will on that also.”
“You can’t compromise on God.”
“But you’re not speaking of God. You’re speaking of religions, beliefs, and customs. On those things Hamid and I can compromise.”
“What do you believe about God, Heaven? Do you believe in an eternal resting place? Do you believe in soul sleep or judgment day, or purgatory, or in attaining heaven, the dwelling place?” He frowned at having to make a difference between her name and the place of men’s dreams. “Do you believe in hell?” he asked, getting up.
“Some days I do, some days I don’t. I was taught they both exist. I don’t always agree with that, but I do believe God created the universes and I do believe in Jesus.”
“We also believe in Jesus’ existence.”
“I believe In Jesus as my savior.”
“And we believe Mohammad is ours.”
Heaven smiled. “There is no compromising on this point. I also believe in Mohammad’s existence, but he is not my savior.”
“You’re in a strange land and you are disagreeing with me. Are you doing this out of disrespect?”
“Nah.”
Abba narrowed his eyes and glanced at Heaven from his lofty position. “Nah, then what are you doing?”
“Answering your question. You asked my beliefs, and I attempted to tell you. I also attempted to tell you the points on which a man and wife, Hamid and I, can compromise and the ones where we can’t.”
“What if we disagree?”
“Begging your pardon,” Heaven smiled, “but I’m not married to you. I’m married to your son.”
Hamid watched as Heaven smiled at his father. She smiled the same smile that never failed to melt Hamid’s heart. Now she turned it toward his father.
“I am honored to be accepted into your family,” Heaven said softly. Then she bowed her head slightly and waited, leaving Hamid flabbergasted.
Where had Heaven learned this? She had only planned a little over a week to return with him, as far as he knew. Still, she was being as respectful as Heaven could be, almost as agreeable as any Pakistani woman would be.
She was holding her own. Hamid looked at his father, then went to stand beside Heaven. He smiled at her. “We could raise all the boys as Muslims and all the girls as Christians. That’s a compromise,” Hamid offered. He heard his sisters laughing in the background. Heaven smiled but didn’t speak.
“Are you willing to go through the traditional ceremony that you and my son robbed us of?”
Hamid wondered why his father was addressing all of his questions to Heaven, why he was engaging her in verbal war. And he wondered how long Heaven would play his game.
“While everything you want to do for us is incredible, I can’t answer that question until I have some time alone to talk with my husband.” This time Heaven spoke firmly, with a no- nonsense attitude.
“But here when a man and woman are getting married the parents take care of the details. It is left up to them.”
“But you forget Hamid and I are already married.”
“Was this a Christian ceremony?”
“No. Will the wedding ceremony you’re planning be Islamic?”
Heaven watched while Hamid’s father’s cheeks filled with air. Then he smiled.
“My brother is a Kazi. He will perform the ceremony. He will not ask you to renounce your faith. He will ask you to say vows to each other, and he will ask Allah to bless your marriage.”
“Nothing else?”
“Nothing else. I too can compromise, Heaven. Now ask your husband before I forget that enough of the traditions have been broken already.”
Heaven smiled at Hamid. “Can we go for a walk?”
Hamid was bursting with pride. Heaven handled herself beautifully. “Yes, we can go for a walk,” he said, ignoring his mother telling them they had to eat. “Ammi, we’ll eat when we return.”
He took Heaven’s hand and walked with her out the door, wishing he could hear the conversation his parents, sisters, and cousins were having behind their back. He was thankful his brothers were not there yet. There was something he wanted to show his wife. Hamid wanted Heaven to see the clinic. It was a long walk, but that was what he wanted her to see.
“Are you tired?” he thought to ask.
“Yes,” Heaven answered, not bothering to pretend.
“Think you have the energy to walk to the clinic?”
“Can’t we drive there?”
“I thought you wanted to walk.”
“I have the feeling the clinic is farther than I want to walk. Is it?” She glanced up at him.
“More than l
ikely,” he said, and took her hand, pulling her after him. “If you get tired, I’ll carry you in my arms.” She laughed and his arm slid around her shoulders as easily as it did in America. He wondered if his family was watching them, and if they were stunned by his affection toward his wife. If this shocked them, they’d better not spend too much time with them.
“Hamid, how far is the clinic?”
“About five miles,” he laughed. “It will go quickly.” He wasn’t surprised when Heaven stopped walking.
“I can’t walk five miles, Hamid.”
“Of course you can.”
“Okay, put it this way. I’m not going to walk five miles there and five miles back.”
“How far will you walk?”
“I don’t know. It could be a block or it could be two steps. When I get tired, I’ll stop walking.”
Hamid turned and called out and in seconds, a servant was beside them waiting for Hamid’s instructions.
“Now you don’t have to worry. Jhonni will drive the car ahead of us.”
As they walked, for the first time Hamid saw Heaven’s reaction to Pakistan. She looked around the area.
“What is this community called?” Heaven asked.
“Area of Defense.”
“Defense?”
Hamid saw the startled look in her eyes and smiled. “It’s just a name, Heaven, it doesn’t mean anything.”
“Everyone that lives here is rich, I take it?”
“Yes.”
“And everyone has what?” she tilted her head and looked at him. “Help, servants?”
“Ahh, I see where you’re going, Heaven. Everyone in Pakistan has servants.”
“Does Jhonni have servants?”
Hamid laughed and squeezed Heaven’s shoulders. He saw several of the neighbors look toward them and knew they would be gossiping. But his family was much too powerful for anyone to do anything more than gossip. Still Hamid decided to remove his hand from around Heaven’s shoulder and be satisfied holding her hand. She laughed.
“So we’re going to go three months without touching, huh?”
“I don’t think we can do that,” Hamid answered honestly, “but I suppose we should try.” He gave her fingers another squeeze, bumped his hip into her, and laughed. “Don’t worry, Heaven, we will have the nights to make up for the days.”
* * *
“Dr. Hamid, you’re back.”
Heaven looked down at the little boy with the coal black eyes and skin the same color brown as a leather wallet she owned. The wallet was sort of cinnamon, but Heaven had never found the right color description. She smiled at the child as Hamid’s hand tousled the boy’s hair.
“Armand, what are you doing here?”
“I had a cut.” He held his hand up for Hamid to examine. “Dr. Youseff stitched it for me.”
“Then you’d better be careful.” Hamid looked over the boy’s head to Dr. Youseff. He smiled. “Thank you for taking care of everything.”
“Who’s the lady?” Armand asked.
“She’s my wife.”
Heaven and Hamid waited while the child examined Heaven with his eyes.
“Is she an African princess?” he asked when he’d completed his visual inspection.
“Yes,” Hamid laughed, “she’s also an American princess.”
“She’s very beautiful.”
“Thank you, Armand, I think so.”
“I heard that you’re getting married. Are you getting a second wife?”
Heaven laughed and tilted her head at Hamid.
“No second wife,” Hamid answered. “I love this one too much to think of having another one. Besides, this wife would not like it very much if I did that. She would stop loving me. I would die if she did that.”
Armand laughed. “What’s your wife’s name, Dr. Hamid?”
“Her name’s Heaven.” He looked at Heaven. “You may speak directly to her, Armand.”
The boy smiled and turned to Heaven, showing a mouth filled with the straightest, whitest teeth she’d ever seen. He would have been the perfect child for any mouth care ad.
“Hello,” Armand spoke softly.
“Hello,” Heaven answered, “it’s very nice to meet you. I’m glad that I came to the clinic.” She reached out to shake his tiny hand. Armand looked at her hand a second, then turned and ran out the door. Both Heaven and Hamid laughed.
“One more thing and then we may leave. I want to show you my office,” Hamid said.
Heaven followed behind Hamid, the strain of the flight beginning to tell on her. She thought she’d be able to sleep standing up if Hamid would stop making her walk. She watched as Hamid’s hand went into his pocket and brought out a set of keys. It was the only room in the building that he’d used a key to enter. Heaven wondered about that.
When they stepped inside, Heaven smiled. The room was painted in the same colors as their bedroom in Chicago. She looked at the pale peach color, surprised. Hamid had told her the bedroom in Chicago was a girl’s room.
Her mouth opened when she saw their wedding picture framed and on the wall. She walked around picking up small objects that had come up missing in the past year. Things she’d thought misplaced were in Hamid’s office. She continued surveying the room, walking slowly, looking at the items. She picked up framed movie theater stubs and looked at the date. It was the first movie she’d seen with Hamid.
“You kept these?” she turned to Hamid and asked.
“Of course,” he answered.
“Why? We weren’t even dating at the time.”
“That didn’t make any difference to me,” Hamid said, coming to stand beside her as she continued looking at his mementos.
Heaven frowned as she lifted the framed menu. She’d not known Hamid had taken one. “Why this? I wouldn’t even serve you rice.”
“But you did in the end,” Hamid said. “I knew even then that you loved me, that we would be together.”
“You were that sure?”
“Yes, weren’t you?”
Heaven moved toward a brochure from DuSable Museum. “No, Hamid, I wasn’t sure at all.”
“Then it’s a good thing I was sure enough for both of us.” Hamid pulled her to him and kissed her.
“What’s that?” Heaven moved away, despite Hamid’s trying to keep her in his arms. She saw for the first time that he was embarrassed by his collection. This was one thing he obviously had not meant for her to see.
“I want to see it,” she said as she moved to stand in front of a shadow box. She stared for a long moment at what appeared to be a Pakistani doll. She wasn’t sure, there was something a little odd about the doll. She frowned at Hamid and picked the doll up. The cover fell from her head and Heaven saw the doll’s hair was in twists, and a tiny diamond sparkled from a thin gold chain on the doll’s neck. As she picked up the scarf to replace it, she saw her name, Heaven, stitched into it.
“Hamid.” She walked toward her husband, who was leaning against the desk watching her. She saw another picture of her on his desk and finally realized the purpose of it all. This entire office was a testament to them, to their love. “Hamid.” she smiled, unable to say more.
“A touch of home,” Hamid answered. “I couldn’t have remained here so long if I hadn’t had this room to come into. This is the place from which I call you. It’s here I feel close to you.”
Heaven smiled, went and stood between his legs, and threw her arms around him. “You should have told me.”
“What good would it have done?” He kissed her. “Telling you wouldn’t make me miss you less.”
“Now I’m here. Just think, Hamid, for the first time in our marriage we will be together for four months.”
“You want to know what I’ve thought about when I’ve dreamed of you here in Pakistan?”
“What?”
“Making love to you under the stars.” He grinned. “Now I won’t even be allowed to sleep with you for the next two days.” He kissed her nose.
“How do you feel about my family’s plans?”
“What do you think?” Heaven countered.
“I told my father it’s your decision.”
“And I told your mother it’s yours.”
They both laughed. Heaven drew in more of the hot, dry Pakistani air. “How can they rent a hall that quickly?”
“I’m sure they won’t. There’s a new law forbidding serving food for weddings in public places. Don’t ask,” he said in answer to Heaven’s questioning look. “The government is trying to discourage lavish parties because even the very poor are expected to participate in the three-day custom and a good part of Pakistan can’t afford it.”
“Where are they planning to do it?”
“More than likely on our land. We own a lot of land, so it will be easy to put up tents and have the caterers bring food and food and more food.” Hamid laughed. “It would be fun.”
“You want to do it, don’t you?”
“I don’t want you to feel forced into anything. There are no customs, no religions, nothing I will ever attempt to force on you.”
“But still?”
Hamid laughed. “Okay. Still, I would love to marry you again and I would love to introduce you to the entire community as my wife.” He felt longing fill him. Yes, he did want to marry Heaven again.
“Hamid, do you not feel married to me now?”
He blinked, looked at Heaven and decided to tell her the truth. “Because of our arrangement, sometimes it’s hard to feel that way.”
“Would you feel more that way if we have this ceremony?”
“Would it influence your decision?”
“Yes. Would you use this ceremony to add to your room of memories?”
Hamid didn’t tell Heaven that he would no longer need the room, that he did not intend to leave her again. He didn’t want her three months with his family to be used to make Heaven feel guilty. His family was good at that.
He would not tell Heaven until much later, though he knew his father was aware it was on his mind. Hamid smiled at her. It wasn’t an easy decision to make. But he’d tried for a year to live up to his vow. But he’d also taken a vow to Heaven to be her husband, and he couldn’t be her husband one month out of four.
“Heaven, you will not be able to turn this into a fight, no matter how much you try.” He held her tightly in his arms.