by Dyanne Davis
Heaven had no idea what she would say.
They stood in a circle and, for the first time that day, Heaven gave a thought to what this was about, what it meant to Hamid and her new family.
“Hamid, your pledge,” the Kazi said.
“With my heart and soul I pledge my devotion and undying love. I will care for you and the children you will bear me with infinite love and gentleness. I will provide for their care and their education, and when we leave this world, I will thank Allah for gracing me with your love and your smile.”
“Now, Heaven,” the Kazi said, “you may speak.”
For a moment Heaven was silent, then she licked her lips. “With my heart and soul I will return your devotion and undying love,” she began. She gazed up at Hamid, the words she wanted to say finally coming to her lips. “‘Whither thou goest, I will go, and where thou lodgest, I will lodge; thy people will be my people and thy lands my lands. And naught but death part thee and me.’ I pledge to be the wife that you will be proud of.”
For a long moment, Heaven stared at Hamid and he stared back. The Kazi blessed their union and the babies they would have. Then Heaven slipped the ring from her hand to Hamid. He smiled and placed it on her finger, and they were pronounced husband and wife. When Hamid kissed her hands, Heaven tried to stop the tremor that was slowly washing over her. But the liquid fire poured through her veins and she sucked in her breath.
“I love you,” Hamid said softly.
“I love you too,” she whispered and was wondering what would happen next when Hamid wrapped her in his arms and kissed her. It wasn’t the kind of kiss he usually gave her, but it was one that promised her more to come. Heaven thought of the stars in the ceiling of Hamid’s bedroom and smiled at him.
“What are you thinking about?” he whispered.
“The stars,” she answered.
And just like that, they were pulled apart to receive the good wishes, kisses, and gifts from family and friends. There must have been hundreds of people who filed in and handed Heaven fistfuls of cash, envelopes with more cash, jewelry, and all kinds of things.
When that was done, they drove to a field where tents stretched across the land for miles. The smell of cooked meat permeated the air and music sounded off in the distance.
Heaven smiled at Hamid. At least they were now permitted to ride in the same car. “What are they cooking?” she asked, ignoring the look of amusement on Hamid’s face. “Come on, I need to know, or you need to stay close and tell me what I’m eating.”
“You could always as the bride plead a nervous stomach.”
“Forget that. I’m hungry. I’ll try almost anything that’s not too spicy.”
Hamid laughed. “Don’t worry, I’ll tell you what things you might want to eat.”
Some things Heaven didn’t have to ask about. She recognized the kabobs, lamb, chicken, and beef. She didn’t try the lamb, but the other meats were succulent and the rice was good. She tried what Hamid told her was samosas and chicken tikka and chicken korma. Then for desert she had ras gullah. It looked like the doughnut holes she got from Dunkin’ Donuts, but was soaked in a dark brown, warm syrup. She was finally overstuffed. They danced and Hamid sang to her, words that she didn’t understand. But she did understand the look in his eyes and the love in his smile.
When it was dark, they were finally able to leave the party in full swing and go away for their official honeymoon.
“Now do you feel married to me, Hamid?”
“Now I feel married to you,” he laughed. “And I’ve thought that maybe I would just hide your passport and keep you here. How was the wedding for you?”
“I loved it. I’m glad we did it,” Heaven admitted.
* * *
The luxury of the presidential suite of the Avari Towers Hotel in Karachi had taken Heaven by surprise. “Hamid, how in the world did you get all of this accomplished? You had no idea we were getting married again, did you?”
“No, but once I knew we were going to get married, I wanted to make this right for you. Has it been right?”
“Being with you is right.”
“I’m glad you came.” Hamid rolled over on his back, bringing Heaven to rest on top of him. “I’ve wanted this for a long time.”
He was serious. Heaven could see it in his eyes and wondered why he’d never asked, maybe the same reason she’d never asked him not to return to Pakistan. “What do you do when I’m not here?”
“Think of you,” Hamid answered, and watched as his wife smiled.
“I’m serious.” Hamid pinched her lightly. “All I do is think of you. Now, tell me what do you do at home when I’m not there?”
“Well, I work hard, I go to the blues club with my friends, I go out to eat, I shop, ouch…” Heaven laughed as Hamid bit her ear. “I miss you and I can hardly wait for the time to pass for you to return.”
“We’re going to have to change our arrangement. This long-distance marriage in which I see you one out of every four months isn’t working.”
“I know, Hamid, I agree. It isn’t working.”
“The words you said to the Kazi, why did you say that?”
Heaven had been wondering during the three days they’d been on their honeymoon when he would ask her that question. She was looking down at him as she toyed with the hair on his chest. “First, I didn’t say the words to the Kazi, I said them to you.”
“So we’re going to fight over my choice of words?”
“Nah, to tell you the truth, Hamid, I don’t know what made me say it. It’s a passage from the Bible. It’s from the book of Ruth. It’s a story about love. It just popped in my head when I looked at you.
“I like it,” he stared into her eyes. “Did you mean it?”
“I guess I did.”
“So, my people are your people?”
“Yes.”
“And my land, your land?”
“Yes.”
“And whither I goest, you will go?” He felt Heaven’s limbs tremble. “Is that part true also, Heaven? Will you go wherever I go?”
Heaven closed her eyes and thought about it, what saying the word ‘yes’ to her husband would mean, and what saying the word ‘no’ would mean. She felt a shiver that played down her spine. “Yes, Hamid, I will go wherever you go. At least for a season,” she added and smiled.
“That wasn’t in your vow, the season part.”
“I know, but it’s kind of what I’m doing now. I’m here for a season.” She waited for him to ask her to stay for more than a season. She’d just given him her word.
Hamid kissed Heaven’s eyes closed before bringing her head to rest on his chest. He didn’t know what her answer would be if he asked her at this moment to stay. But he knew one thing-it wouldn’t be fair.
“I love you,” he said instead, and made love to her. More than a continent separated them, and they were both trying as hard as they knew how to make it work. Vows between them, vows they’d made to themselves and promises given to others, made them both a part of who they were. And it was what was keeping them apart.
Hamid knew how badly Heaven wanted her business, how she’d worked for it. He also knew it somehow involved her failed relationship with Brandon. She’d told him they were going to work together. Hamid knew that that hadn’t happened. He’d never asked her what happened, but from the moment he’d met Heaven, she’d been obsessed with the idea of opening her registry. He couldn’t ask her to give up her dream now that she held it in her hands.
As he plunged deeper and deeper into her body, the more certain he felt that she was his soul and he could not survive without her. He would not lie and say his vow to his father meant nothing. It would break his father’s heart, and he didn’t want to do it. But he was now Heaven’s husband, though for the past year he’d not been acting like it. She was not some paramour that he visited for a month here and there. She was his wife. And his place was beside her.
“Whether thou goest, dear wife, I will go,” he whisp
ered softly. Then he pulled her closer as his orgasm overpowered him. Hamid meant his words to Heaven, the same as she’d meant hers to him.
Chapter Fifteen
“Heaven, I hate leaving you here all alone. I could really use your help down at the clinic.”
“Did you want me to come here to work?” Heaven teased. She knew Hamid was a little disappointed that she didn’t want to work alongside him. When he’d first mentioned it, images of what she’d planned for years came rushing back. She and Brandon, working side by side. That had been their dream, or at least hers. When he’d dumped her, Heaven’s dream had changed. Her business was quite different and working in a clinic with Hamid would seem like retreating, going backwards. She didn’t want to do that.
“I can’t stay focused knowing that you’re a short walk away.” He shrugged and grinned. “I’m beginning to believe that maybe you didn’t miss me as much as I missed you.”
“That’s not true. I missed you terribly.” Just as Heaven started to defend her action, she realized her husband was teasing her.
“You’re spending more time with my family than with me.”
Now he had a certain tone in his voice that warned her he wasn’t altogether teasing. “Isn’t that what you wanted, for me to become part of your family?”
Hamid took a moment to answer. “It isn’t quite what I had in mind. I would much prefer if we had our own home, but then I suppose for a few months it doesn’t make much sense.”
He heard a knock on the door, then his mother calling their names, warning him it was time for him to leave the house for work, telling Heaven it was time for the day’s work to begin.
“Nah, Heaven, this is not what I had in mind.”
Though Hamid was grateful to his family for giving them the guest quarters, which consisted of a bedroom, sitting room and private bath, the operative word was privacy. And they had very little of that.
Besides, this wasn’t his Heaven, this quiet imitation. They hadn’t fought in three weeks. There had really been no need to fight, but still if they were in America, they would have had a dozen fights by now. And they would have been followed by the most thrilling lovemaking, with Heaven screaming out his name over and over. Though they made love here, it wasn’t with the wild abandon they were used to. They made love in whispers as though they didn’t have the right. Pakistan was changing Heaven, and he had to get her back to America so she could change back. He turned to stare at her.
“You really like it here, don’t you?”
“I like being with you.”
“But you’re not with me if you sit here in this house and I only get to see you for a few hours a day.”
“Hamid, why don’t you tell me what you want?”
Her voice was raised and Hamid smiled. “That’s what I want. The fiery little spitfire that I met at Rush Presbyterian, the same woman I fell in love with. Since you’ve been in Pakistan…you’re…you’re too nice.”
“Too nice? Are you crazy?”
To that Hamid could only laugh. Perhaps he was crazy. Why would any sane man complain that his wife was being nice, that she was getting along with his family? But when he thought again of their making up, he knew for sure he wasn’t crazy. He pulled Heaven to him. “I guess I’m a little jealous that you seem content to spend so much time away from me.”
“What if I bring you lunch and stay a couple of hours with you at the clinic?”
“Will you make the lunch yourself?”
“I’ll try, if your mother will allow me.”
“I only want it if it’s prepared by your hands. You tell that to my mother.” He kissed her then with all the passion that was in him.
“We’re going to have to have another honeymoon. I need to hear you scream out my name.” With the next bang on the door, he turned toward Heaven. “How would you feel if I found a house for us to rent for the remainder of your stay here?”
“Hamid, even I know they would be insulted.”
“That wasn’t my question. I asked how you would like it.”
Heaven grinned. “I would love it.”
“Hamid, Heaven,” Ammi called.
“Consider it done.” Hamid pulled Heaven out with him and they sat down for breakfast.
* * *
Heaven sat in Hamid’s office dishing out the food for him. She saw him glancing at her and knew what he was thinking. She remembered when they were eating at the Indian restaurant in Woodridge and she refused to pick up the spoon to give him food. She’d come a long way.
“This smells good,” Hamid commented.
“Believe me, I had to fight with your mother. First, she insisted that it was the servant’s job to cook, and then she wanted to add curry and I wouldn’t allow her. When I added the vegetables, she said I was ruining good meat.”
“You and Ammi got into a fight?” Hamid paused from taking a bite.
“And Fatima, and Jana, and every other woman that was there. When they continued, I had your father take me to the market, and I bought food with my own money and made your lunch.”
“I don’t believe you did that.”
“You said you wanted me to make it myself.”
“Nah, I meant I don’t believe you took on all the female members of my family in one battle.” He bit into the beef and chicken stir-fry. Welcome back, he thought, and continued to shove food into his mouth.
* * *
Hamid was laughing at his father’s retelling of the fight that had ensued at the house.
“You should have seen her, Hamid. All this time she’s been as quiet as a little mouse. Then it happened. She told your mother and sisters that she wanted to make your lunch. At first, they were pleasant about it, telling Heaven that it wasn’t necessary, that it was not her job to do the cooking, that the servants did that work. Your wife politely told them it wasn’t the servants’ job to cook for you, that it was hers.”
“What happened after that?”
“They smiled at her and Ammi gave her permission to make your lunch. But that was when the real trouble started. All the women started trying to tell her what to make you and how to do it. There was yelling and screaming and your wife was like a little tornado. She told them, ‘Fine, if you want to make that, you eat it. I’ll cook my husband’s lunch myself.’ Then she asked me if I would drive her to the market.”
Hamid was laughing. “I’ll bet Ammi had something to say about that, Abba.”
“I saw the way Ammi was looking at me, but I did not want to offend your new wife. I wanted to tell her that maybe it would be better to let your mother cook your food. But when I opened my mouth, her eyes shot liquid fire out at me. She said, ‘If you don’t want to drive me, then loan me your car.’ ”
“Abba.”
“Of course not. I said, ‘Heaven, you don’t know the way.’ And she said, ‘That’s what you think. Let me drive.’ So I did, and she drove us to the market. I couldn’t believe it. She’s really something. She has fire.”
“Is Ammi upset?”
“Oh yes, all the women are, but Heaven didn’t seem to care. She was singing and laughing as if they didn’t exist. And after she placed your lunch in a container to bring it to you, she gave them this smile that was like…I can’t explain, except to say it was a victory smile. Before she left, she turned back and said, ‘I made enough food for everyone.’ With that, she went outside and asked Jhonni to drive her to your office. All the women stared after her when she was gone, and Ammi hit me a couple of times for taking her to the market. At first, no one was willing to try the food Heaven made, but I took a plate and sampled it. It was very good.”
“Did anyone else try it, Abba?”
“They all did. First, of course, Fatima. I think because she really likes Heaven. The last was Ammi, of course. She had to admit the food was very good.”
“What did Ammi say?”
“She said, ‘Not enough spice,’ but I saw her go back in the pot for seconds. There was none left for Heave
n when she returned.”
“What did Heaven do?”
“She took food from the pot your mother made and ate it. Then she said, ‘Too much curry,’ and then she went and got a second helping.” His father laughed. “Hamid, you married well. Not only do you have a woman who loves you and can cook well, but today she truly earned your mother’s respect.”
“Is Ammi still mad at Heaven?”
“Maybe just a little, but she likes Heaven, she’ll get over it. Now I can see what you found so fascinating about your wife. She would keep a man on his toes. I’m surprised she fought with the women, she has been so…so…”
“So, not Heaven,” Hamid laughed. “I asked her today where the real Heaven had been hiding. I told her that I missed her. I know she’s been trying to make a good impression on all of you, but even when we’re alone she seemed unsure, not herself.”
“The fight was your fault then?”
“I only asked her to make me lunch. Actually, she offered. I didn’t tell her to take on the entire family.” Hamid laughed. “But I do love the fire in her eyes.”
“You’re very much in love with her, aren’t you?”
For a second Hamid was stunned. He’d thought his father understood that. It was then he realized that for the past year his father had only had Hamid’s word to go on. It was wrong that they had never met their new daughter until recently.
Hamid smiled at his father. “Yes, Abba, I love her very much.” He held his father’s gaze. “I can’t continue the way we’ve been living—her in America, me here. I’m her husband. I made a vow to be that to her. I made the vow twice.” His father and he held glances for a long moment.
“I’ll see you later, Hamid. I think I should go back to the house in case the women need to be refereed.”
Hamid watched his father leave, knowing that neither of them wanted to have the necessary talk, and knowing he would put it off as long as possible. Heaven would be leaving Pakistan in another two months, and Hamid planned to leave with her. He would have to tell his father before they left for America that he was not coming back, at least not to work in the clinic.
“Dr. Hamid, we need you,” Dr. Youseff called. Hamid groaned. Right now he didn’t have the luxury of worrying. He had patients to take care of. Patients with no money needed him.