by Dyanne Davis
“You’re not getting bored in here?”
“Meaning, do I want to come out and help?”
“I’ve never seen you be a nurse, I mean at your job. Maybe you’re not any good.”
“Maybe you’re not a good doctor.”
“There’s only one way to find out. Of course if you don’t think you can handle it…” He laid her book back in the position he’d found it and walked out the door, grinning.
Heaven shook her head and smiled, noting the page number. As good as the book was, Hamid had issued her a challenge, one that he’d undoubtedly known she would not pass up. What would it hurt, she thought, if she just observed him for a little while? She could watch him and think of him fulfilling her fantasies.
Heaven opened the door and laughed when she spotted Hamid standing there like a sentinel waiting for her. “You think you know me, don’t you?”
“Not well enough,” he said, taking her hand and pulling her toward an examination room. He introduced her to the patient. “This is my wife. She’s a nurse.”
From patient to patient, Heaven followed Hamid, feeling pride in the way he talked with the patients. Even though he spoke in Urdu instead of English, she could tell he was gentle. For a moment she missed working, but pushed the feeling away.
“Dr. Ahmad, could you try to take a patient’s blood for me?”
Heaven’s eyes swung to the nurse who’d entered the room, then back to Hamid.
“Can’t this wait?” Hamid asked, without taking his attention from the patient.
“It’s Mrs. Chaudhry. We’ve tried to get her in here for two months. She hates needles. I’ve stuck her four times, and she’s angry.”
Heaven studied the nurse’s face. When their gazes connected, the nurse looked away and her head dropped in embarrassment.
“I can’t leave now. Tell her to wait until I’m done.”
“She’s getting ready to leave, I can’t keep her here,” the nurse answered softly, and Heaven knew the woman hated admitting she couldn’t draw the blood.
“Then she will have to leave.” Hamid finally turned from the patient. “I’m busy, as you can see.”
“I’ll do it.” The words popped from Heaven’s mouth before she could bring them back.
“What?”
“Hamid, if you’d like me to try, I will.”
His eyes lit up and the look of gratitude was worth more than…she didn’t know, but it was definitely the look of a man ready to fulfill another fantasy.
The nurse exchanged looks with Hamid before looking at Heaven. “What’s wrong?” Heaven asked.
“The patient doesn’t speak English,” the nurse answered.
“That doesn’t matter.” Heaven smiled. “I’ve taken care of many patients that didn’t speak English. We got along just fine. Don’t worry, you’ll see. By the way, I haven’t met you before. My name is Heaven, what’s yours?”
“I’m Saddia.”
“It’s nice to meet you.” Then Heaven followed Saddia out the door.
“Don’t be upset if she doesn’t allow you to touch her.”
Heaven smiled at Saddia. That was Heaven’s least worry; she had a way with patients. “Hello, Mrs. Chaudhry,” she said, pasting on her biggest smile as she followed Saddia into the room where the elderly woman was struggling against her daughter’s efforts to keep her in the room. Heaven grinned even wider as the woman said something and eyed her suspiciously.
“Nah, nah,” Heaven answered, not knowing what the woman had said, but knowing she needed to say no.
Heaven sat on the stool and waved her hand toward the woman offering her the chair. The woman pointed to her hair and Heaven laughed and touched her twists. The woman frowned and Heaven scrunched her own face up. “Ouch,” she said, and pinched her skin. “Ouch.” She pinched her skin again, then laughed. Mrs. Chaudhry laughed too.
“It hurt?”
“Yes,” Heaven replied, opening her arms wide to show just how much. Then she tilted her head to the side. “It hurt?” She pointed at the patient’s arms and saw fear begin to creep back into the patient’s eyes, replacing the earlier laughter.
“Nah, nah,” Heaven said. She put her arm across her chest and shook her head. “I won’t hurt you,” she said, and shook her head again. “I won’t hurt you.” She patted the woman’s shoulder. “Ouch,” Heaven said softly. “Nah, nah.” She laughed at the way she was butchering the language, but she could see a glimmer of trust in the patient’s eyes.
“Please?” Heaven asked for permission and held up one finger, allowing her facial expression and gestures to convey her words. “One time.” She shook her head again. “One time.” She knew Mrs. Chaudhry understood her. Then Heaven opened an alcohol swab and gently rubbed the patient’s skin and began palpating for a vein. When she found one, she smiled. She put on her gloves, rubbed the skin once more with the alcohol swab, and put the needle into the vacotainer. Again, she palpated, then eased the needle gently down.
Before she inserted it, Heaven smiled. She knew the problem. The patient had rolling veins. Heaven shook her head up and down and smiled again at the woman. “One time,” she said again. This time when she palpated she kept a finger over the vein and inserted the needle. She pushed the tube inside the vacutainer and watched the dark red blood fill the tube.
She looked at Saddia. “How much do you need?” The nurse hesitated and said, “Three more.”
“Give me the tubes,” Heaven said softly as she filled one after the other and handed them over to Saddia. She eased the needle from the vein, applied a cotton ball, and kept Mrs. Chaudhry’s arm outstretched while she applied gentle pressure.
“Your vein,” Heaven said, “it ran.” She worked her fingers in a running motion and laughed. She watched as Mrs. Chaudhry’s daughter explained what happened and saw understanding in the patient’s smile.
Heaven pointed to the woman and touched her hair. She waved her hands between the two. “Would you like?” Heaven asked.
“Nah, nah,” was the quick reply. Heaven laughed, patted Mrs. Chaudhry on the shoulder again, and said goodbye. Her gaze connected with Hamid. She hadn’t known he’d come into the room. Her concentration had been on the patient. She tilted her head slightly and looked at him for several seconds before walking toward him.
“You were wonderful,” Hamid said softly, in amazement.
“In exactly what way?”
“With Mrs. Chaudhry. You had her trusting you, eating out of the palm of your hand and,” he looked at Heaven in amazement, “you did it without even speaking the language.”
Heaven put her hands on her hips and looked her husband in the eye. “Honey, there is one universal language that I speak and it’s called compassion, love, understanding. Take your pick. We all speak it.” She sashayed away, went back into Hamid’s office, picked up The Kite Runner, and began reading. Within seconds, the nurse had returned.
“Thank you, Mrs. Ahmad, you were wonderful. Do you think you could help out some more? We’re really swamped and could use the extra hands. Two of the staff didn’t come in today.”
Yes was on the tip of her tongue but she’d told her husband no. How could she possibly say yes to someone else? Heaven licked her lips and sucked in her desire to help. “I don’t think so,” she answered instead.
* * *
Hamid stood just outside the door to his office waiting as Saddia came out alone. He was disappointed.
“What did she say?” he asked.
Saddia shrugged her shoulders. “She said no.”
Hamid tried to tell himself that it was okay. Heaven had not come to the clinic to work, but to be with him. She’d already helped, and now she was reading her book. He should be grateful that she’d drawn Mrs. Chaudhry’s blood. Now he had a new dream, one he’d not known he’d wanted, not until this moment. But it was a real dream that was taking root. He wanted to work with his wife as a team.
“She did look as if she wanted to say yes, for just a m
oment anyway,” Saddia said as she hurried away. Then Hamid walked into the office. He circled Heaven with his arms. “You smell good,” he whispered softly.
“And you smell sweaty.” She pulled back and looked into his eyes. “You’re tired.”
“Yes, it’s so busy here today. Too many patients not enough…” He stopped. He was using blackmail, and they both knew it.
“Not enough help,” Heaven finished for him. He rewarded her with a smile.
“No, not enough help,” Hamid answered truthfully.
“Would you like me to help, just for today, Hamid? Today only?” He kissed her, and kissed her again and Heaven grinned. “I don’t have a uniform.”
“You don’t need one. We just need your skills.” He looked in his closet, came back with a lab coat of his, and put it on her, laughing as it almost brushed the floor. “That’ll do nicely, my princess,” he said, “let’s go to work.”
Hour after hour Hamid and Heaven worked, stopping once for a thirty-minute lunch and once for a ten-minute break. By the time they were done and on their way home, Heaven was too tired to think of making love or anything else. “Aren’t there any fast food places?” she asked.
“Pizza Hut and Kentucky Fried Chicken.”
“Good, we can get both. I’m too tired to go to the market, and too tired to cook.” She lay against the cushions of the car. “Do you work like this every day?” she asked.
“Every day, and if we were open longer, we’d still be working.”
“How can you do it?”
“It needs doing.”
“How did you have energy to…spend time with me?”
“If you’re asking how I find the energy to make love to you, then that’s easy. I will always have the energy to love you. How about you?”
“I’m much too tired.”
“Even if I bathe you?”
“I don’t care what you do tonight, Hamid. I’m too tired.”
“Are you saying the honeymoon is over, that you’re refusing me for the first time?”
“Put it like this. You can do what you want. I won’t be participating. I’m tired.”
He surprised her when he laughed. “Doing it without you isn’t any fun.” He pulled into the parking lot for the pizza. “I’ll guess we’ll wait,” he grinned.
“It seems you gave up a little too quickly.”
“You said you were tired.”
“And you said you were going to bathe me. I’ll make you a deal. Feed me first, and then bathe me, and maybe that will revive me.”
Hamid kissed Heaven under the stars after having made love to her. “I think we may have found our own custom, your working by my side, my feeding and bathing you and then our making love under the stars. What do you think of doing this every night?”
“Hamid, I don’t think I will ever be too tired to enjoy our own special custom,” Heaven said, and readied herself once again to receive him.
* * *
The weeks were passing quickly since Heaven had begun helping Hamid at the clinic. In three weeks, she would be returning home to America. And part of her was glad. She couldn’t say she wasn’t enjoying the work, but somewhere in the back of her mind, the worry hung about her like a mist. She was once again living on the fringes of the dreams of a man she loved. She’d thought more than once of remaining in Pakistan with Hamid for more than the agreed on three months. She’d found herself wanting to help Hamid fulfill his vow to his family and that, more than anything, worried Heaven the most. She needed to return home to her own business before she lost herself completely in Hamid’s vow.
Heaven waited at the front of the clinic while Hamid did a last check. Tonight she really was tired. She didn’t know if even Hamid’s bathing her would revive her.
“You’re looking worn out,” Hamid said joining her.
“I am.”
“Too tired for our custom?”
“I don’t want to be, Hamid, but I am pretty tired.”
* * *
Hamid couldn’t believe it an hour later when he scooped Heaven from the tub and into his arms. She really was tired. She’d fallen asleep in the tub while he bathed her. He couldn’t believe it. For the first time since they’d moved into the rented house, Hamid placed Heaven in the bed. And for the first time they would not sleep outside under the stars, they would not make love. He curled his body around hers, feeling tired himself.
* * *
If Heaven thought the past weeks had been hectic, she didn’t have the words to describe what that day had brought. Hamid was impatient; something she rarely saw in him. She tried to put it down to the fact that for the past two nights, they’d not made love and he was a bit grumpy. She intended to take care of that when they returned home-if they returned home.
If she didn’t know better she would think Hamid was hiring someone to bring the patients in. They never stopped coming. The entire staff was overworked. Heaven had just taken a couple of minutes to get off her feet when Saddia had come looking for her to do an EKG. Sighing and putting her shoes back on, Heaven went to take care of the patient.
“Heaven,” Hamid shouted.
Heaven looked toward the door. If her husband didn’t stop shouting at her like that, she wasn’t so sure she’d be in the mood to make him feel better. She smiled down at the patient.
The leads were firmly in place when Heaven turned the EKG machine on. She was in the process of attempting to explain the procedure again and to tell the patient to remain still, when she heard Hamid’s raised voice again and wondered what was wrong.
“Heaven, I need you out here, stat.”
“I’m in the middle of an EKG,” she yelled back, deciding to ignore the annoyance in his voice.
“I said stat. Do you understand what that means?”
Heaven looked down at the patient. “I understand that I’m busy,” she shouted back.
“I said stat!”
Heaven glanced toward the now open door and glared at Hamid. “I understand that you’d better not talk to me in that tone of voice.” She smiled at the patient, hoping he’d not noticed the tension, glad that he spoke little English.
Hamid stared back at her. She watched while he rubbed his hand across his face and shook his head as though he were coming out of a fog. “I’m sorry,” he said. “As soon as you’re done, will you come and help Saddia? She has about fifty kids out here that need injections.”
Before Heaven could even tell him yes, he was gone. Her feelings were a bit hurt, but she understood. He was tired. They were all tired. They’d worked ten fifteen-hour days in a row. And that was the reason Heaven would be glad when she hopped aboard a jet and returned home.
When the last shot had been given, Hamid gave her a look that might have been another apology or might have meant he was just plain tired.
“Hamid, why are we working like this?”
“I don’t have a choice. We’re leaving in less than three weeks. I have to make sure I take care of as many things as I can.”
“But you’re behaving as if you’re never coming back.” She glanced at him. “Hamid, do you hate returning to the States with me?”
“Of course not.”
“Then I don’t understand why you’re working like this. It’s as though you’re attempting to put in enough work to make up for the month you’ll be gone. You can’t do that or you’ll get sick. We all will. It’s probably why your staff calls in so often or just fails to show. You’re working everyone too hard.”
He looked at her. He’d not told her yet that he wasn’t returning to Pakistan. He guessed maybe she was right. Maybe he was trying to work off his guilt for not returning. “Let’s go home,” he said quietly and began turning off the lights.
When they were home, they showered together. Neither wanted to eat, but in bed they turned toward each other and made love, each desperate to wipe out the harshness that had come between them. This would all be over soon, Hamid thought, but in a few hours, it was worse.
* * *
The morning started out with a thousand things going wrong. Everyone was giving a hundred and fifty percent, but it wasn’t nearly enough. No matter how he looked at it, there were too many patients for them to handle. While he was grateful for Heaven’s help, it still was only a drop in the bucket. He was trying to remember his gratitude when he called Heaven for the tenth time. She was spending way too much time with a group of children, talking with them, playing with them, when he needed her to move.
“Heaven, let those kids go, and get over here,” he yelled. “I need you to draw blood on Mr. Singh, and then do an EKG on Mr. Meah. I need a urinalysis on room two and a throat culture on room five.”
When she just stared at him, Hamid saw the warning sign for a blowup. But he didn’t heed it. He needed the work done. “Heaven, now,” he screamed even louder. “We don’t have all day.”
“You might not, Hamid, but I do. I’m not your employee, I’m your wife.” She threw the lab coat at him and walked out the door, ignoring the nurse begging her not to leave. Heaven knew her leaving would make it harder on everyone else, but she wasn’t going to ignore Hamid’s foul mood. She’d never seen such a display of temper from him in all the time they’d been married.
Suddenly a wave of homesickness washed over her. She wanted to go home now, not in three weeks. She missed Chicago, she missed her friends, and she missed leisure time. She began walking down the same road they drove, wondering if she would remember every turn and find the right house. Tears began seeping beneath her lashes.
“Heaven.”
She heard Hamid calling her, heard his footsteps running over the gravel but she didn’t stop, nor did she turn around. Within moments, he’d caught up with her.
“Heaven, forgive me please.”
“No,” she said. “You asked for my help, Hamid, but I don’t like being talked to like that. You’ve never talked to me like that. I’m leaving.”
“You don’t even know how to get back. You might get lost. Where are you going?”
“I’m going home, Hamid.”
“You don’t know the way.”