“Well, it’s my birthday party so I get to play with Cam.”
I snatched my hands from both of them and crossed my arms. “Play with? What am I a squeak toy?”
Benji snickered. “Nah, more like a Tickle Me Elmo.” He reached for my ribs and I slapped his hand. “Seriously though, I wanna dance with you.”
“I don’t feel like dancing.”
“Come on, for the birthday boy?”
Damn it, there he was with that pouty face again. “Fine, you can have one dance.”
He extended his hand and I took it while rising from my seat. He then led me to the middle of the so called dance floor. Once we found a spot he pulled me close to him.
“Um, what are you doing?”
“What’s it look like, Cammie? I’m dancing with you.”
I glanced around at the other partygoers moving to the fast beat then narrowed my eyes at him. “But–”
The song stopped and a second later my heart melted with the melody that flowed from the speakers. I closed my eyes and let the words to ‘If This World Were Mine’ wash over me.
Benji’s arms encircled my waist and my arms found his neck by instinct. “How is it that you know all of my favorite things?”
“You mean that this is your favorite song which also happens to be from your favorite romance movie, ‘The Wood’?” He chuckled and smiled down at me. “Oh, I have my ways.”
I started to relax into him then stopped. “Gabi told you didn’t she? I’m gonna kill her.”
He just smiled and said nothing while we swayed to the music.
I finally gave in and laid my head on his chest, letting our bodies meld together to the sweet sounds of Luther.
Benji’s hands rested on the small of my back while I listened to his heart beat. “If your hands go anywhere near my ass you will lose a very important appendage.”
Laughter rumbled from his chest, causing me to vibrate. A moment later he bent his head and spoke near my ear. “This is nice, huh?”
Electricity flowed from his skin and through my fingers, working its way down my body. “Benji…”
“Perfect…wouldn’t you say?”
I extracted myself from his embrace and backed up.
“What’s wrong?”
My gaze refused to meet his. “I, um, my feet hurt. I’m gonna go sit down.” I brushed past him and headed back to the card table I’d sat at with Gabi a few minutes ago.
She was dancing with Jay beside her seat. Her eyes widened when she saw me. “Why aren’t you dancing?”
It was then I realized I’d been set up. I grabbed her bicep, pulling her away from Jayson.
“Hey!” She fought against me as I marched her toward the stairs. “Ow, that hurts. What is wrong with you?”
I didn’t release her until we made it to the kitchen. “What is wrong with you?”
Her brows knitted together and the tugged on her hair. “I don’t know what you mean.”
“Oh, cut the innocent act. That only works on Jay.” I crossed my arms and fixed her with a glare. “You wanna tell me why you’re feeding Benji information about me or are you going to lie and say he figured everything out on his own?”
She let go of her hair and threw her arms up. “Fine, I told him. What’s the big deal?”
“What’s the– The big deal is my so called best friend is conspiring behind my back.”
“Wha–”
“What part of break…from…men don’t you understand? I’m confused as it is. I don’t need him pulling grand romantic gestures and muddling my brain even more.”
“I was only trying to help.”
“Well I didn’t ask for it,” I shouted.
Her head reared back and she gaped at me for a few seconds. “Are–are you seriously mad at me right now?”
“Yes! Because it wasn’t your place. If I wanted Benji to know any of that I would have told him myself. You had no right.”
“It’s not like any the things I told him were a secret.”
“That doesn’t matter, Gabi. They were my things to tell. How would you have liked it if I’d just blurted out to Jay that you were in love with him?”
She dropped her gaze to her sneakers.
“Yeah, that’s what I thought.”
The basement door swung open and Benji stepped out. He opened his mouth to speak, but I stormed away from the both of them.
Stepping out into the warm night air, I sighed and wiped the tears from my face, then went over to the porch swing at sat down, wondering what else Gabi had revealed to Benji. His and my friendship was ours and she had no business meddling. I understood that she meant well, but I liked the pace at which we were moving. I was enjoying being his friend, even if he did flirt with me half the time. Now things were changing, I saw it in the way he looked at me.
He didn’t just stare at my ass and breasts anymore. When our gazes would meet it reminded me of the way Jay looked at Gabi and my heart would start jumping all over the place. Then he’d go and do the simplest thing, like getting me dinner from my favorite restaurant or making sure my pillowcase was always freshly washed because he knew I like to smell the laundry detergent as I fell asleep, and I’d go to trying to put a name to this unfamiliar feeling he brought on.
I dropped my head to my hands. I wasn’t ready for this.
“Cam?”
Sitting up straight, I eyed Benji standing in the doorway but didn’t say anything.
“Can I join you?”
I nodded.
He took the seat beside me and used his legs to rock us. “Are you okay?”
“No.”
He reached for my hand but I moved it.
“I’m sorry if I upset you.”
Folding my hands in my lap, I turned to face him. “What are you doing?”
“Meaning?”
“Cooking for me? Fixing my lunch? Watching sunsets in the park? Slow dancing, Benji? Are you going to tell me you do that with all your friends, too?”
He shook his head and leaned back. “No. I only do those things for the most important person in my life, you.”
I sighed and stared ahead of me. “We’re supposed to be friends.”
“We are. That doesn’t mean we can’t possibly be more someday.”
“I told you from day one, we aren’t Jay and Gabi.”
He captured my hand and held it in his lap. “I’m not trying to be them. I wanna be us.”
“Benji…”
“I care about you, Camryn. Is that wrong?”
“Of course not,” I said, looking at him.
“Then why are you so upset?”
“I just…I’m not ready for this. You of all people know my history with men and bad choices. I need some time to mature a little before getting into anything that’s more than platonic.”
He nodded. “I can respect that.”
“Good. So can we just be friends for now?”
He draped his arm over my shoulder and hugged me close. “Whatever makes you happy. Just know, I’m not going anywhere. So when you are ready…”
I nodded.
We sat in silence for a moment before he spoke again. “You know this doesn’t mean I’m gonna stop flirting with you right?”
I giggled against his chest. “I wouldn’t expect any different.”
“By the way, don’t be pissed at Gabi. She was only trying to help me out.”
“I’ll apologize to her after the party.”
“Good.”
“Benji.”
“Yeah?”
“Keep inching that hand toward my breast and you’ll be short a digit.”
Chapter Twenty-One
~ Benji ~
I leaned on the car next to Jay, watching Cam and Gabi say goodbye like they’d never see each other again knowing damn well they’d be talking on the phone non-stop. Women.
“Thanks again for the party, bro. ‘Precciate it.”
“No problem. You know, it was Cam’s idea though.”<
br />
I stuffed my hands in my pockets and looked over at him. “For real?”
He nodded. “Gabi and I were just gonna do a dinner with us four and Pops. Cam suggested the party. Said it’d be a fun way to celebrate both your birthday and your sobriety.”
I smiled and looked over at her again. “That girl there…”
He chuckled. “I know what you mean. The good ones are rare finds,” he said before taking a sip of his drink. “I saw that little move you pulled with the Luther song. Smooth.”
“Yeah…too bad it didn’t work out the way I planned.”
“Gabi told me she and Cam had a fight. Something about her meddling.”
I nodded. “It was my fault. I miscalculated, moved too fast. She’s not ready for all that yet.” Cam caught my gaze and offered a smile, one I graciously accepted and returned with my own. “I think she’s more scared than anything. Can’t say I blame her though. This love thing is new to the both of us.”
Jay looked at me and lifted a brow. “So, it’s love now?”
I shrugged. “Maybe. I can’t tell her that though. She’d probably run screaming into the night. I ain’t trying to scare her away. I know I wanna be with her though.”
He nodded while pushing away from the car. “Just take it slow, get to know her, let her get to know you. Ease her fears.”
“How?”
“That’s something you’re gonna have to figure out on your own.” He held out his hand for me to take then pulled me into a half hug. “Gotta get going if we wanna beat that church traffic.”
“Alright, man. Drive safe.”
Cam finally left her adoptive sister and came to stand with me.
I draped my arm over her shoulder. “Looks like it’s just you and me.”
“And him.” She gestured toward Pops who waved at Jay and Gabi from the porch.
“Oh, yeah. We’ll just pretend he’s not here most of the time.”
She laughed and shook her head. “So, what do you wanna do today?”
“Actually, I wanted to talk to you about something.”
She lifted a brow. “Oh?”
I nodded then took her hand and led her inside. “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, and I spoke with my mom…well, I texted her.”
Cam stopped in front of the sofa and faced me. “Um, that’s good, I guess.”
I sat down and guided her to the spot next to me. “We’re having lunch today.”
Cam’s eyes widened and a frown took over her features. “Are you sure that’s a good idea so soon after getting out of rehab? I don’t want you to have a relapse.”
“I think it’ll be fine…if you’re there with me.”
“Um…”
“I know it’s last minute and I don’t want you to feel obligated, but I could really use some support.”
Her eyes searched mine for a second, then she gave a small smile. “Okay, I’ll go. But…if your mother says anything out of line I will slap her and not feel an ounce of remorse.”
I smiled while squeezing her hand. “You know you the best, right?”
“Of course.”
~ ♥ ~
At a quarter to twelve I pulled up to Olive Garden then climbed out and went around to Cam’s side. I opened the door then extended my hand and helped her down from Pops truck.
She wore a dark purple dress that stopped mid-thigh and was cinched at the waist with a gold belt. Her stiletto sandals matched the belt and thick spiral curls bounced around her face.
“Damn you fine, girl.”
She laughed while straightening her purse then reached up and ruffled my hair. “You’re not so bad yourself, pretty boy.”
We’d arrived before my mom so we got a table and ordered waters while we waited.
Cam crossed her legs and sipped from her glass, observing the interior. “I haven’t been here in forever.”
“Me neither.” I spoke without taking my eyes off her legs. The summer sun had deepened her tan even more, giving her sepia skin a sun kissed glow.
“Benji, keep your eyes above the table.”
I chuckled and licked my lips, letting my gaze slide up to her face then back to her legs again. “Can’t help myself. You look soft as hell.” Easing my hand closer on the seat, I let the side of my pinky graze her silken skin. Damn.
She lifted my hand and placed it on the table. “Look, don’t touch.”
“Does that mean you’re granting me permission to gaze freely?”
“Benji...”
I laughed at her glare then draped my arm behind her. “I promised flirting, didn’t I? If you want me to stop, speak now or forever hold your peace.”
She looked at me from the corner of her eye with her lips pursed then lifted her drink, saying nothing. A few seconds later she uncrossed her legs then crossed them the other way.
“You good?”
Her gaze remained straight ahead as she sipped her water. “Yup.”
I glanced up and my throat tightened a bit. Heading toward our table, escorted by the hostess, was Sasha.
She was carrying a car seat with her and wore a big smile.
The hostess sat her across from us then informed us that our server would be over shortly.
The first thing I did was check her eyes, relaxing a bit after confirming they weren’t glassy.
Sasha continued to smile while removing the blanket from the car seat, revealing the sleeping baby beneath. “Hi, Benji. How are you?”
“I’m good. You?”
“Amazing, actually. I’m so glad you invited me. I wanted to apol–”
I held my hand up a bit and shook my head. “Could we just stick to small talk for right now?”
Her smile weakened a bit, but she nodded. “Of course.” She glanced at Cam then looked to me again.
“This is my friend Camryn, Cam this is…” I cleared my throat and rubbed at the back of my neck. “This is Sasha.”
Cam smiled softly and nodded. “Hi.”
Sasha smiled back and extended her hand. “It’s nice to meet you, Camryn.”
Cam smiled and shook her hand but didn’t return the sentiment.
I wouldn’t have minded, but it meant a lot that she was loyal.
Moments later the server came and took our orders, making it the only time anyone had spoken since the introductions.
Sasha lifted her purse onto the table and dug inside. “I have something for you.” She pulled out a blue envelope and placed it in front of me.
“I know your birthday isn’t for a few more days but I wanted to give you the card now, just in case.”
“You remembered?”
“Of course I remembered. You were born on the hottest day of the year and that big head of yours almost split me open.”
Tears filled her eyes and I fought the urge to roll mine, telling myself although it was long overdue, at least she was trying. So was I, but it was hard to forget all the birthdays she hadn’t remembered or all the times she’d yelled that she wished I hadn’t even been born.
Leaning back in my seat, I pulled a card from the envelope and read over the front. My eyes darted to Sasha before opening it and reading the words written inside.
Benjamin,
Words can’t begin to express how truly sorry I am for the awful things I’ve done. What makes it worse is a lot of them I can’t even remember, but I know that I’ve wronged you and I don’t deserve to call you my son. I’ve made you a million promises and each one of them I’ve broken. I won’t make that mistake again. I won’t promise to stay clean this time. I won’t promise we’ll be a family. But I will try my best to do right by you from now on.
Happy Birthday
I closed the card and sat it beside me. “Uh, thanks.”
While reading the card I keep waiting for the anger to come, the sadness. Neither did. The hatred that’d once swirled inside of me from the mere thought of her wasn’t there. I didn’t hate her anymore. But I didn’t love her either. I wasn’t sure I ever had.
There was something there, but I couldn’t quite place what it was at the moment.
I watched her fiddle with a gold bracelet on her wrist for a long moment before speaking again. “I forgive you.”
Her eyes filled with tears and her mouth opened and closed a few times.
I looked at the baby boy who fidgeted in his seat. “Don’t make the same mistakes with him.”
She gazed down at him, running her fingers through the little afro on his head and finally letting her tears break free. “His name is Odom.”
The food came and we ate in silence, requesting the bill as soon as we finished.
Outside Sasha strapped the car seat into her jeep then stood outside the driver’s door. “Thank you again for inviting me and also for forgiving me.” She turned to Cam and smiled. “Take care of him.”
Cam nodded and laced her fingers through mine. “I sure will.”
After Sasha pulled off Cam and I walked over to Pops’ truck and stood against the passenger door.
“Well,” Cam started. “That has to be the most awkward meal I’ve ever eaten.” We shared a laugh and she smiled up at me. “I’m proud of you though. I know you only forgave her for you–”
“I forgave her for the both of us. If forgiving her frees up some of that guilt she has, I’ll do it gladly. Then maybe she really will stay clean this time and give Odom the mother he deserves.”
A huge grin spread across her face and she hugged my waist tight. “And to think when we first met I thought you were just a perverted asshole.”
I laughed and hugged her back. “Well, part of that is true,” I said, inching my hands toward her round bottom.
She pushed me away and slapped my chest. “See, this is why I can’t stand you,” she said through a laugh.
“Yeah yeah, Cammie. We’ll see.”
~ ♥ ~
We left the restaurant, stopping to see a movie before heading home.
When we got in Cam led me upstairs then sat me on her bed.
“I got you a present.”
“Oh yeah?” I reached out and took her hand.
She snatched away and punched my shoulder, giggling. “Not that.” She backed away and crossed her arms under her breasts. “Now, close your eyes.”
Teach Me (College Daze Book 2) Page 17