Teach Me (College Daze Book 2)

by Danielle Burton

  Her head was thrown to the side and her lip tucked between her teeth.

  “Lay back,” I whispered.

  She dropped back onto the pillow, her back arched and her legs still clamped together.

  Moving up her body, I left soft kisses in my wake until I reached her neck. “I love you, Cammie.”

  A soft moan filled my ears, her arms wrapped around my neck. “I love you, Benji.”

  I took her lips, allowing our tongues to dance together for a while before I made my way back down her body. Pausing at her lower belly I placed a kiss there and then a few inches lower. “Open up for me, baby.”

  Her legs spread slowly until they were wide enough for me to lift onto my shoulders. She stared down at me with half closed eyes, one hand gripping my shoulder and the other buried in my hair. “Benji…”

  I winked and then tasted a part of her I swore it never would.

  She gripped me tighter and her back arched from the floor. “Benji.”

  Later she lay propped on the pillow beside me, smiling. “I can’t believe you did that.”

  “I can’t believe I did that, and liked it.”

  “Pretty sure I liked it more.” She draped her arm and leg over me and laid her head on my chest. “You would wait two weeks before I’m supposed to leave. Now I just feel teased.”

  I chuckled while stroking her hair. “Don’t worry. I’ll do it morning, noon, and night until you leave if you want.”

  Several moments of silence passed, and then something wet and warm crawled across my chest.

  “Cam?”

  “Yes,” she whispered.

  “Are you crying?”

  “No.”

  “Cammie.”

  She sniffled and squeezed me tighter. “I’m not.”

  Lifting her from my chest, I turned her head to face me. A steady trail of tears ran down her smooth cheeks. “What’s wrong, baby?”

  She shook her head then buried her face in my neck. “I don’t know. My emotions are all over the place, like they can’t decide to be happy or sad.”

  “That’s because you’re both.”

  Her body trembled against me. “I keep thinking of everything I’m leaving behind. Gabi and Jay, Mr. Adams, Junior, Odom…you.”

  I hugged her tight and kissed the crown of her head. “We’re all gonna miss you, too, baby.”

  “Maybe I shouldn’t go.”

  “What?” I lifted her again and looked into her eyes. “This is your dream, Cam.”

  “But what if I’m making a mistake?”

  I shook my head. “We talked about those what if’s. You’re not making a mistake, you’re just scared. And that’s okay. New things are scary, but don’t let fear hold you back.”

  “But–”

  “How about this?” I pushed her hair back behind her ear. “Go. If you hate it, come home. But if you love it, stay.”

  A few more tears escaped but she nodded and pressed her forehead to mine.

  “Just do me a favor.”

  “Yes?”

  “Don’t fall in love with someone else while you’re away.”

  She craned her neck back to look at me and traced her fingers down my jaw. “There’s only one person in this world who has my heart and I don’t plan on that changing.”

  “Oh yeah, who’s that?”

  Smacking her lips, she gave me a light slap on my cheek. “That goes for you, too. You belong to me. Don’t make me have to kill someone.”

  “Damn girl, you love me like that?”

  She giggled and pecked my lips. “Damn straight,” she said while climbing on top of me.

  I stared up at the magnificent beauty that’d changed my life more than she’d ever know, and smiled. “I love you, too.”

  Chapter Thirty

  ~ Camryn ~

  “Aren’t you supposed to be excited about this? One more week and you’ll be living your dream.”

  I looked away from Gabi and over at Benji sitting at the card table with Jay. His head hung low and he slumped back in his seat. He’d been wearing a smile since I told him the news of me leaving but I knew him better than that by now. His eyes had once again lost their sparkle and his look was often distant. He was trying to be strong for me and while I appreciated that I didn’t want him holding things in again.

  Facing Gabi, I fought back the burning in my eyes. “Part of me is. This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and I want to be happy, but at the same time I feel guilty for being happy, because he’s not happy. He thinks I should go but I know he’s doing what he thinks is best for me. Benji has this way of putting others before himself. Which is both endearing and annoying at the same time.”

  Gabi looked over at him and smiled. “He really is a great man. I’m proud of how far he’s come. Both of you actually. You guys are good for each other.”

  I nodded then blew out a hard breath while clutching my upset stomach. It had been flopping all over the place for weeks now. Keeping me up at night and stealing my appetite. “I never expected this. To fall in love with him or to be given the chance to do something like this and I…I just don’t know. It hurts to think about leaving him behind but I want this more than anything I’ve ever wanted. It’s not fair. Why do I have to choose?”

  She took my hand and gave it a soft squeeze. “You don’t. Not really. You said yourself that you guys aren’t breaking up or anything. So you’ll go, explore the world, experience new things, and then you’ll come back. And you two will be together again. If Jay and I can survive three years of separation, then you guys can survive six months. It’s okay to be happy. What you’re doing is something amazing and you may not ever get the chance again.”

  I nodded then rested my head on her shoulder. “You think he’ll be okay?”

  “Yes. Me, Jay, and Pops will look out for him. He’ll be fine. Have faith in him.”

  “I’m gonna miss you, Sis.”

  “Me too.” She squeezed me tight and sniffled. “What am I gonna do without my daily dose of crazy?”

  “Trust me, you have enough crazy for the both of us.” We shared a laugh and then I wrenched myself from her death grip. “I have to go. Got one more thing to do before I leave.”

  ~ ♥ ~

  During our short car ride I fidgeted in my seat and chewed on my thumb nail.

  Benji reached across the seat and gave my knee a gentle squeeze. “Relax, baby. You said yourself she probably won’t even be there.”

  I lifted a shaking hand to my earlobe and played with the wooden hoop. “But what if she is?”

  “It doesn’t matter either way. He was your father, you have just as much of a right to his things as she does.”

  With a shaky breath, I nodded and turned my nervous gaze to the three story home. The setting sun painted the white siding in shades of orange and pink.

  Benji climbed out, came to my side, and opened the door. “Whatever happens, I got your back.”

  I smiled up at him and took his hand. His touch brought my heart to its normal rhythm. With a deep breath, I squared my shoulder and led him up the walkway. The spare key was in the same spot daddy had chosen long ago.

  Inside I paused in the expansive foyer, listening for any signs that my psycho mother was on the premises. “Come on, let’s hurry.”

  We rushed through the immaculate living room and the kitchen, funded with my education, to the basement. After daddy died mom had shoved all of his things down here, not allowing me to keep a single photograph. She’d buried his memory, spent her days pretending he never existed and forced me to do the same.

  A massive stampede replaced my heart as I stood in front of the door that I knew to hold my father’s belongings.

  Benji stood behind me and rubbed my shoulder. “What’s wrong?”

  “I’ve never been in here before. Wasn’t allowed to. I tried to sneak in once while she was out but she keeps the door locked. On stiff legs I backed against Benji. “We should go.”

  “What?” He st
epped around me and searched over my face. “You came all this way just to turn around and leave?”

  “No…I…I don’t know. The door is probably locked anyway.”

  He turned and took the knob in his hand. It showed no resistance as he twisted it and pushed the door inward, revealing a darkened room. Facing me again, he lifted my chin to meet my gaze. “You ready?”

  His loving gaze calmed my nerves once again though I wasn’t sure why I was so nervous about getting some photos in the first place.

  I stepped into the dark room with Benji on my heels. The light clicked on and my feet became cemented to the floor. The air seeped from my lungs as my gaze slid around the room.

  Covering the walls from floor to ceiling where photographs taken in various settings. Some were famous cities, others landscapes or people. A small desk was set up against the only vacant wall. There were candles placed strategically and a glass picture frame sitting in the center.

  I shuffled over to the desk and sank down into the chair. My vision clouded as I lifted the framed photo. Heavy sobs burned my chest, a fountain of tears spilling down my cheeks.

  Benji kneeled beside me while rubbing my back. “Is that your father?”

  I bobbed my head up and down and hugged the picture to my chest. “She wouldn’t let me see him.” My chest heaved as I tried to slow my breathing.” This doesn’t make sense.” I glanced around the shrine again and shook my head.

  “What doesn’t?”

  “All of this. Why would she make me bury his memory? Why make me think she hated him?”

  He shook his head slowly. “I don’t know why she’d want you to hate him when it’s obvious she loved him, at least as some capacity. Maybe it’s for the same reason she never showed you love. Maybe she doesn’t know how.”

  I sat the frame down and took a shaky breath. My heart tightened, thinking of how awful my mother treated my father and how she taught me to do the same. “That’s no excuse. Not showing me love is one thing. Turning me against my own father is sick.” I rested my head on the desk, sobs breaking free again. “I feel so stupid. I let her dictate how I treated him, felt about him. He was a great father and I let her change the way I saw him. I believed her when she told me the reason he stayed gone so much was because he was playing house somewhere else. Or when she told me that men, including him, were no good.”

  Benji rubbed small circles on my back. “It’s not your fault, baby. You were just a kid.”

  I turned and wrapped my arms around Benji’s neck. “I miss him so much. How we used to be before she turned me against him.” Sobs continued to wrack my body as Benji squeezed me tight. “I’m so sorry, Daddy.”

  “What the hell are you doing in here?”

  I jumped and swung around to face the evil queen.

  She stood at the door scowling with her arms folded.

  I got to my feet and matched her stance. “You mean your secret shrine to Daddy that you hid from me?”

  Her eyes narrowed to slits. “Get the hell out of my house.”

  “Screw you.” I scoffed and stepped around Benji to the side of the desk where a couple of boxes were stacked. Ignoring her ranting, I lifted one to the top and opened it. More photos were stacked neatly inside and an envelope sat on top of them. It was ripped open and wrinkled. I lifted it form the box and turned it over. My name was scrawled across the front.

  It was snatched from my grasp, the edge sliding across my palm. I held my stinging hand to my chest and gawked at my mom. “What is that? Give it back,” I said, reaching out for it.

  She moved it out of my reach and shoved me into the wall. My head slammed against it and my vision swam for a moment. “Bitch!” I rubbed at the dull ache on the back of my head snarled at her.

  “Get the fuck out of house. Both of you before I call the cops and have you arrested for breaking and entering.”

  She started to turn away, but I lunged at her, tackling her to the floor. Mother or not, no one put their hands on me like that and got away with it.

  “Give me the fucking envelope!”

  She growled and swung at my face, missing by less than an inch. “Get off me, you ungrateful little bitch. After everything I’ve done for you, this is how you treat me?”

  “Get over yourself, Tamryn. You never did me any favors.” We scuffled around on the floor.

  Benji gripped my waist and started to pull me up.

  “Don’t you even think about it. Back away.”

  Tamryn extended her arm, keeping the envelope out of reach. “Dirk! Dirk!”

  “Call your stolen man if you want to. My boyfriend will kick his ass. Now give me damn letter.”

  She continued to try to break free of my hold, bucking me every time I almost had the mystery letter she was so desperate to keep from me. It slipped from her hand and before she could grab it Benji scooped it up.

  I glanced up at him and smiled. “Thanks, babe.” Scowling at my so-called mother one last time, I removed myself from her and got to my feet.

  Tamryn scrambled to her own and rushed at Benji, trying to grab the letter as he pulled it from the envelope.

  He held it above his head and smirked. Damn I loved having a giant for a boyfriend.

  Dirk stepped in the room wearing a frown. “What’s going on?”

  My mom sneered at him and rolled her eyes. “I called you five minutes ago.”

  “I was in the bathroom.”

  She shook her head, mumbling something under her breath.

  I rolled my eyes at the both of them and stepped beside Benji. “What is it?”

  His lips curved down a bit as he extended the paper to me. “It’s from your father.”

  I glanced at it, and then my mother before taking it. Refolding it, I took the envelope and tucked it back inside.

  Benji’s brows knitted together in a frown. “You’re not going to read it?”

  “Not yet. Grab that box and let’s go.”

  Tamryn stood with her arms folded, shaking her head at me. “You will forever be my greatest mistake. Things were fine until you came along. Cordell loved me and–” Her voice broke and she cleared her throat. “His whole world revolved around you. It got to the point where I barely existed anymore.”

  I took a long hard look her, and then turned and walked away. “Good bye, Tamryn.”

  As I strode to the car with Benji, I let everything roll off my shoulders. I could’ve yelled at her, hit her again, told her it wasn’t my fault daddy loved me more, but after everything that had come to pass it finally dawned on me, it just wasn’t worth it.

  In order to cleanse my soul there were certain parts of me I needed to let go. She was one of them. The negative energy that came along with arguing with her wasn’t worth my mental health.

  “You okay?”

  I smiled at Benji as I slid into the truck. “Yeah.”

  Later that night, snuggled in Benji’s arms, I relished in the rhythm of his heartbeat against my cheek. “Babe?”

  His fingers left a warm trail up and down my arm. “Yeah?”

  “I’m ready to read my letter now.”

  He reached behind him, retrieved it from the nightstand, and placed it in my hand.

  I took a few relaxing breaths to calm my heart, and then unfolded it.

  Cammie,

  I’ve been sitting here trying to figure out what to say to you, how to explain things in a way you’ll understand. Truth is, I can’t, and it wouldn’t matter either way. So instead of giving you a long explanation of the reason why the man in the photo you’ll likely keep on your nightstand isn’t there anymore, I’ll tell you this.

  The man in the photo loves you unconditionally.

  The man in the photo will never stop loving you.

  The man in the photo never truly experienced love until you came along.

  The man in the photo didn’t want to leave you.

  The man in the photo is sorry.

  The man in the photo is your father.


  The man writing this letter is not.

  He used to be.

  He wishes he still was.

  He wishes he could be the person in that photo again.

  But even though he no longer is, he still loves you, only you, always you.

  I’m sorry.

  My throat tightened and I choked back a sob while clutching the letter to my chest. I turned into Benji’s chest and buried my face there, crushing the paper between us. Hot tears soaked his skin as my body spasmed in hard sobs.

  His strong arms hugged me tight and he stroked my back as I trembled against him.

  When my cries finally subsided, I sniffled a few times then nuzzled my face in the crook of Benji’s neck. “He loved me.”

  ~ ♥ ~

  Here I was, crying again. I seemed to do that a lot lately. Only this time there was nothing anyone could do to stop it. As I looked at all the faces I’d be leaving behind, pain crawled into my chest and the airport faded around me. My stomach continued to churn and I had to keep reminding myself that this was a good thing. Six months wasn’t that long and it was the adventure of a lifetime.

  None of those affirmations meant a damn thing to my heart, especially when my eyes connected with Benji’s. After weeks of acting like all was well his walls had come tumbling down. Gone was his smile, replaced with dull eyes filled with moisture. But of course, being Benji, the tears were kept at bay.

  The same couldn’t be said for Gabi, who was practically bawling. She poked out her bottom lip and then hugged me. “I know I’m being a crybaby and it’s only six months, but you’re my sister, and I’m going to miss you.”

  “I’ll miss you, too, you crazy ginger.”

  She giggled then held me at arm’s length. “Call me every day, you know, when you aren’t having phone sex with Benji.”

  I shook my head, swatting at her arm. “See, crazy.”

  After we finished, I moved on to Jay and then Mr. Adams. He hugged me tight, lifting me off my feet. “It’s been wonderful having you around, Camryn.”

  “Thank you. And thanks for the millionth time for letting me stay with you.”