She straightened even more, then slowly turned her head to look at him. Her eyes were wide with dark circles beneath them. Worry drew her brows together, but the rest of her expression was flat, as though she’d turned off her reaction to everything.
Sally squared her shoulders. “Yes, we do. I’m so sorry, Luke. Sorry you got involved in this. Sorry about your truck. Why are you so calm? You should be mad as hell.”
Luke chuckled. “If you knew how many anger management classes I’ve attended since I got back, you’d have a whole different opinion of me. Why would I be angry with you? None of this is your fault.”
“You don’t know that,” she said.
“Yeah…I do.” He reached for her hand and wrapped it in his larger one. “Are you ready to tell me everything yet?”
“There’s not much to tell. I witnessed a murder, and when I went to the police, they arranged for a US Marshal to pick me up. I eventually learned I’d be placed in the witness protection program in exchange for my testimony. When it was all over, they found me a place to live in Huntington.”
Luke squeezed her hand. “Who was it? Who did you testify against?”
Her reluctance was noticeable. “His name is Clive Brennan. A natural-born US citizen, but it turned out his allegiance was with Russia. It was probably a Russian dialect you heard while you were hanging off the cliff. My testimony put him away for fifteen to twenty years, a travesty in itself. Mississippi has a ten-year minimum, so, with time off for good behavior, he was released three months ago.”
Luke frowned. “Why is he after you now? You can’t hurt him after he’s served his time.”
“I don’t know.” Sally’s gaze danced away from his for only a second, but it was enough to make him wonder why she was withholding information.
He wouldn’t push her now. Her emotions were too raw. His presence too new and unexpected. “What about this marshal that’s supposed to show up?”
“Marshal Greg Lambert. He’s been my contact for nine years. I’ve spoken to him a few times on the phone, but I’ve never met him before. Now he’s on his way to pick Jen and me up to hide us away again.” Sally scooped her hair back from her forehead angrily.
“You’re not in favor of that?”
“I wouldn’t care if it was just me, but Jen doesn’t deserve that. She won’t understand. All she’ll know is I’m tearing her away from her friends and the only life she…” Sally’s voice broke on the last word and she quickly glanced away. “She hasn’t done anything to deserve this.”
Sally hadn’t done anything to deserve it either. Luke felt a jagged hole open in his chest at the thought of never seeing her and Jen again. Was a new identity really the best thing for them? The only way to keep them safe? Was he being totally self-serving to want to find another way—to believe he could protect her as well as the feds? She at least deserved another option. “If you decide that’s not what you want, you can count on me. I’ll stay with you all the way, sunshine.”
Sally smiled for the first time since she’d walked out of the forest, and Luke’s heart melted. She squeezed his fingers. “Are you sure, Luke? I mean, I haven’t exactly greeted you with open arms. In my own defense, showing up the way you did brought up all the bad memories. Do you have any idea how much I worried about you…all those months?”
“In my defense, I was half loco when they rescued me.” He focused his attention toward the front, emotions swamping him.
“You really hurt us, Luke. You hurt Jen.” Her voice cracked, but she pushed through. “Don’t hurt her again.”
Luke turned toward her, and the plea in her glossy eyes broke him into little pieces. No anger or bitterness lingered in her expression—only a fierce love for the daughter she’d brought into the world. That was one of the things he loved about her. Still, Luke had no trouble believing he’d kiss his chances with her good-bye if he crossed that line again.
He could live with that, because he would no more hurt Jen than willingly return to Afghanistan.
“You have my word. Hurting you or Jen in any way was the last thing I wanted to do. The two of you are important to me. If you don’t believe anything else, please believe that. If there was a way to get back the time we’ve lost, I’d do it in a heartbeat. In fact, there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you and that little girl right there.” He looked in to her eyes for a second, warmed by the acceptance he found there, as though he’d finally said something right. Perhaps he should have copped an insanity plea right up front. Maybe his actions were more understandable under those circumstances. Figures. The bad news was: There was a distinct possibility the crazy still resided within him.
Luke brought her fingers to his lips for a kiss before he released her hand. “You’re exhausted. Why don’t you lean that seat back and get some sleep?”
She glanced at him again, a slight tilt to her head. “You have to be just as tired. I’ll stay awake and we can talk or play a stupid game.”
Luke grinned, reminded of the times the three of them had played Jen’s word games until all hours of the night and the hilarity that had ensued. “Sounds fun, but it’s not necessary. I don’t really sleep much anymore.” He felt her looking at him and braced himself for the questions he knew would follow…and the truth he was determined to share.
“Ever? Surely you must sleep sometime.” Her voice was wary, as though she had to ask but wasn’t sure she really wanted the answer.
“Unfortunately, that’s true. I catch an hour or two now and then before I wake up in a cold sweat. My experiences with Uncle Sam changed me—and not for the better. I have nightmares and headaches. I get startled easily, and when I do, I come up swinging. But I’m better than I was, and I’m grateful for that. Mostly I try to stay awake.”
“How long has that been going on?”
Luke shrugged. “Started while I was over there…in that filthy prison.” A shudder worked its way slowly through him. “I thought I’d seen it all with my SEAL unit, but I didn’t have a clue. After my team member, Ian Mathias, and I were captured, the interrogator at the camp where we were held started his psychological warfare. Ahmed Kazi was his name—the name he took when he converted to Islam. He was born in New York, but, man, that guy hated Americans, and military personnel were apparently the lowest in his opinion. He had it in for us from day one. A master at the art of torture, he wanted us to anticipate what was going to happen next.
“Ian drew the short straw—he didn’t make it.” Luke struggled to keep his voice steady. “I dream about him a lot. Relive that helpless feeling when I’m filled with so much hate my heart’s pumping like a locomotive and there’s not a fucking thing I can do to save him.” Anger filled Luke, and he clenched his hands in a death grip around the steering wheel to keep his rage from escaping.
“My God.” Sally’s whisper was nearly inaudible, but her warm, caring touch on his leg snatched him back from the brink. “I knew it was bad, Luke, but I didn’t realize you still lived with it night and day. Is there anything I can do to help?”
Focusing on her face, he fought to get his anger under control. He never wanted her to see that side of him. “You already have. That picture. I wasn’t kidding about you and Jen saving my life. You kept me from giving up. Gave me a reason to keep fighting. Calmed me when I woke from a dream, breathing so damn hard my ribs ached. After Ian was killed, you were all I had.” Luke paused to see if he was giving her too much information—convincing her he really was crazy. Her rapt attention as she turned toward him seemed to ask for more.
“The bond we had before I deployed took on new meaning after I was captured. I…took some liberties—embellished a bit. Hope you don’t mind.” He stole a glance in her direction, and she still hadn’t looked away. Might as well get it all out in the open. “I’ve imagined making love to you in a hundred different ways. Just so you know, sunshine, we were incredible together.” Was th
at a grin working at the corners of her lips or just wishful thinking? “That’s what makes what I did to you so terrible. You never gave up on me once, yet I took it on myself to decide you wouldn’t want half a man back from the war.” He stopped then, strangely bereft of words.
“That was wrong of you.” Sally nodded her head in agreement. “But I can’t begin to comprehend what you went through. Nor am I qualified to decide how you should react to everything that happened.” She looked in to his eyes. “I’m really glad you’re here, Luke.”
Luke’s surprised gaze collided with her sure and steady one. A full-on gorgeous smile blossomed across her otherwise tired visage. He reluctantly jerked his eyes back to the road, unable to control a pleased grin. “Yeah? Does that mean you’ll give us another chance?”
“It might…on one condition.”
“Which is…?”
“Honesty is a big deal for me. I won’t settle for less.” She flinched as though something pinched her on the last word, regret worrying her gorgeous eyes for a split second before she blinked it away and smiled a little too brightly.
Luke frowned. Was she still haunted by his lie? He knew only too well what it was like to be unable to forget, and he didn’t want that for her. It wasn’t conducive to the plans he dared have for their life together.
Luke spotted a turnout ahead and stepped on the brakes, pulling over a little quicker than he should have. He leaned toward the woman whose opinion meant everything to him, took her hand again and placed it over his heart. “You won’t ever have to settle, sunshine.” Releasing his seat belt and then hers, he hooked one arm around her waist, pulling her to the edge of the seat until she was close enough her breath tickled his cheek. He leaned in slowly with a grin, almost touching, then nibbled and teased the corner of her mouth before he took possession of her lips. She responded to him as though she’d wanted this as badly as he had, opening for him when he ran his tongue across the seam of her lips. When he delved inside like a starving man, she met his searching tongue with parrying thrusts of her own. She tasted of honey and smoke, and he couldn’t help a rumbling laugh against her soft lips.
“What’s so funny, sailor?” Sally kissed him again and then drew back to look in his eyes.
“We’ve been smoked. Do I taste like a bonfire?” His hand settled on her neck and stroked gently.
“A little. Me too?” She obligingly bent her neck so he could take full advantage of her satiny skin.
Luke pulled her toward him again. “I love the way you taste.”
She leaned into him as he nipped at her bottom lip before he pressed his mouth to hers and lost himself in the homecoming he’d dreamed of so many times. He pressed her back against the seat and deepened the kiss, needing to claim her as his own so there’d no longer be any question. By her soft moans and the way she fisted her hand in his hair, she was as caught up in the heat of the moment as he was. In only a few minutes, they were both breathing heavily.
Remembering where they were, why they had set out and the nine-year-old girl sleeping in the back, Luke reluctantly released Sally. He pulled back to his own side of the vehicle and leaned against the steering wheel while he caught his breath. Turning an apologetic smile her way, he shifted the Jeep into gear. “That was a hell of a lot hotter than anything I imagined.”
One side of her mouth shot upward in a smug grin, and she placed her hand, palm down, on his thigh. The warmth of her touch set off a chain reaction that ended with his jeans becoming tight and uncomfortable.
She lowered her voice to a sexy murmur. “Speaking of that—you’ve got your work cut out for you, Luke Harding.”
He eyed her curiously. Should he be worried by the obvious challenge in her smile? “Yeah? How’s that?”
“I fully expect you to show me those hundred different ways you’ve imagined us making love.”
Luke coughed, steering the Jeep onto the roadway again. “Damn it. You’re killing me here.”
Her sweet peals of laughter were music to his ears.
Chapter Seven
Four hours later and a few miles north of Coeur d’Alene, Luke had finally given in and let her drive. Sally could tell by his heavy eyelids and the slight slur to his words that he’d needed to rest, despite the dire description he’d given of his sleeping issues. She’d managed to doze some while he drove. Though not well rested by any means, she was alert enough to take the wheel. He’d fallen into a restless slumber almost immediately upon switching places. So far, he’d mumbled unrecognizable phrases, but otherwise he seemed like anyone else catnapping in a car.
Midmorning on a Saturday meant more traffic than she was used to. Huntington never saw many travelers other than locals. The sky was overcast, but the clouds were breaking up to the north. Seeing the sun would be a nice touch after the night they’d had. Jen squirmed on the seat behind her but settled in again without waking. Sally stretched taller so she could see her in the rearview mirror. Peaceful. Beautiful. Poor baby must have been exhausted.
Every few minutes, Sally’s glance fell on Luke, asleep in the seat beside her, his rolled-up jacket forming a pillow where he leaned his head against the side window. Warmth invaded her belly, making her smile secretly. His muscled chest moved up and down gently with each breath. The urge to touch him was nearly overwhelming. The memory of his lips on hers sent electrical pulses all the way to her toes. She was as giddy as a teenager, falling in love for the first time. The difference was, she’d been in love with Luke for a long time…and now he’d come back, professing an interest in starting over. She wanted to believe he felt the same way she did, but her heart was still raw—a gentle reminder the world could change in a heartbeat.
She’d meant every word, but was it possible to spend time with him, let him touch her…make love to her…and not risk her heart? Even though intimately acquainted with the shattered pieces he’d reduced her soul to after his rescue, she still wasn’t willing to give up this time with him—this possibility. Their relationship could work. She’d never know unless she let go of her fears long enough to give him a chance.
Masochistic much?
Never in her life had she acted like an irresponsible child. She’d grown up at fourteen—the day her mother died, leaving her in the care of her only living relative. Her father…Clive Brennan. Apparently, she was making up for lost time now, her insides turning to mush at the mere thought of Luke’s touch. To have so quickly abandoned her determination not to trust the man who’d broken her heart had to be foolish to say the least. Didn’t it? After all, hers and Jen’s lives depended on the decisions she made in the next few days.
What if she was wrong about him?
This is Luke.
She scoffed soundlessly, chastising herself for even thinking he could be anything other than honorable. Sally glanced at the sleeping military hero beside her and slowly shook her head. No. There’s not an unprincipled bone in his body. He’s come back a slightly different man—but the same in every way that matters.
The heaviness of guilt bore down on her again, as it had earlier, when she’d told Luke she wouldn’t settle for anything less than honesty. Wasn’t she guilty of withholding the truth from him—information that could easily put her life in jeopardy? Sure…she’d told him about Clive Brennan’s crime, her testimony and the resulting witness protection gig, but she’d left out the part that humiliated her to the bone—the fact that the monster was her father. She’d wanted to tell Luke—to have everything out in the open—but when she’d formed the words in her mind, her mouth had gone dry to the point her tongue refused to cooperate, the breath caught in her throat and her world began to spin. If Luke hadn’t reached to steady her on that mountain road in front of Garrett and Jonathan, she’d have hit the dirt for sure.
Still, it was crucial not to lose sight of what was important. Jen’s safety came first. Besides, Marshal Lambert was on his way to find her
with plans to stash them back in hiding before the day was out. A sudden memory brought her up short. She’d left her cell phone behind when Jen and she jumped from Luke’s truck. It was going to be hard for Lambert to find her if she didn’t answer her phone. She couldn’t even call him because his number was pre-set in her contacts and she had no idea what it was.
Equal amounts of fear and relief surged through her, along with a hefty dose of excitement at the feeling of freedom from the bonds that had held her for so many years. To no longer have the federal government responsible for her safety brought mixed emotions—and possibly it was premature to be celebrating. On the other hand, the feds certainly hadn’t done such an outstanding job keeping Clive and his men away from her last night.
At that instant, Luke jerked forward, grabbing the dash with both hands, his eyes wild. Every muscle in his arms and legs strained in the throes of whatever nightmare had woken him. “Get back! Get the fuck back!”
Startled, she slammed on the brakes and the Jeep fishtailed to a stop on the side of the road. “Luke?”
For a fraction of a second, the blank look he gave her held no recognition. His features twisted into a mask of rage as he grabbed the steering wheel. Jen moaned and stirred on the backseat but apparently slipped back into her deep sleep. Sally cringed away from Luke’s obvious anger and, suddenly, concern for Jen’s safety and hers became Sally’s overriding thought. Would she upset him further if she tried to reach her daughter?
It’s still Luke! She forced herself to focus. He was still the man she cared about, and he was obviously hurting somewhere deep down inside. She wouldn’t cut and run at the first sign of trouble.
Sally placed her hand firmly over his where he gripped the steering wheel. “Luke, wake up.” She’d tried for calm and had managed a small amount of bravado.
Confusion surfaced in Luke’s expression and, as suddenly as it had begun, his glazed eyes cleared and a scowl hardened his features. He let loose the dash and steering wheel, dragging his hands the length of his stubble-covered face as he leaned back in the seat. “Sorry. I’m okay.”
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