by KyAnn Waters
“Morning,” TJ said coming into the kitchen giving Sissy a kiss on the top of her head.
Allison dropped the bowl of oatmeal she was going to feed Michael. The dish broke into three large pieces. “I’m sorry, Mr. Bester. I don’t know why I’m so clumsy this morning.” She bent down and picked up the pieces.
“Just because we had a difference of opinion last night, doesn’t mean you need to formally address me. I think we’ve moved beyond that, don’t you?” He sat at the table. “We’ve broken a few dishes, haven’t we, Sissy?”
She vigorously nodded her head. “I’m clumsy, too.”
“Mama.” Michael reached for Allison when she placed another bowl in front of him. Her hand stilled before handing him the spoon.
“I’m sorry,” she said to TJ. “He doesn’t understand.”
“She told him she wasn’t his mama,” Sissy said. “But he wants her to be.” Sissy put another bite of oatmeal into her mouth. “I want her to be my mama, too.”
“You have a mother.” TJ’s chair tipped over when he pushed away from the table. He stomped from the room and Allison hurried after him.
“Don’t do this to them.” She grabbed his arm.
He turned on her. “I already did! I never wanted anyone to replace their mother.” He ran his fingers through his hair.
“I won’t.” She gently laid her hand on his arm. “I won’t.”
“You already have.” He leaned back against the wall. “It’s not your fault. Hell, it isn’t anyone’s fault.”
“I won’t answer him when he calls me mama. I’ll discourage him.”
TJ looked at the ceiling. “He’s too young to understand. When he’s older, I’ll tell him about his mother.” A defeat sign spilled from his lips. “If you don’t mind, I won’t object.”
Allison stayed quiet for a moment letting TJ put his thoughts together. “Sissy has also slipped. I always correct her.”
“Not Sissy,” he snapped. “She’s old enough to know better. If she continues, you tell her she’ll be punished.”
“No. If you want to chastise her for wanting a mother, you can do it yourself. I’ll explain again and again that I’m not her mother, but I won’t be her punishment.” Allison turned and went back into the kitchen.
TJ stayed in the hall for a few minutes before joining her. “I think I’ll take a cup of coffee and some of that oatmeal,” he said, sitting next to Sissy. “We have a big barbecue over the Forth of July. Some of the men have wives and kids. They all come up to the house and turn the shack into a dance hall.”
“Sounds like fun.”
“Oh, it is,” Sissy said. “After it gets dark, Charlie does the fireworks.”
“If it doesn’t rain soon, we won’t be doing any fireworks this year,” TJ stated.
“That reminds me,” Allison interrupted. “I need water for the vegetable garden or I’m going to lose everything. Can I ask Joseph to help me? I don’t think I’m strong enough.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “Don’t even think about a retort.” She squinted her eyes as she waited for him to say something. “Good.”
He took a drink of coffee. “I’m not busy today.”
Allison hadn’t expected him to volunteer. “Thank you. I’ll finish the dishes and meet you outside.”
An hour later, Allison worked next to TJ in the garden. “How many people come to the barbecue?” She moved down the furrowed line of vegetables watering another row of young plants.
“Couple hundred, I guess.” TJ carried a large bucket filled with water and placed it near her. He took his bandana out of his pocket and wiped his brow.
“I haven’t met any of the wives yet. I—” She stopped, searching for the words. “If anyone has heard of my past, they’ll jump to conclusions.”
“They won’t. Only a few people know how you came to live here.”
She watered a couple more plants. “They’ll think there’s something going on between us.”
“I can live with that.”
“TJ!”
“At least no one else would get any ideas about courting and evening walks.”
“You aren’t being fair.”
He shrugged. “Won’t be the first time we disagree.”
She wanted to kiss the arrogant smile from his face as much as she wanted to slap it. “Somehow I think you’re right.”
“I still need to talk with Train.”
“No, you don’t. Stay out of my personal business. My relationship with Joseph doesn’t concern you.” She chewed her bottom lip. “Unless you think it’ll affect the way your other employees respond to me.”
“Doesn’t matter what they think. They won’t say anything.”
“I hope you’re right.”
TJ moved the bucket closer to her. “Will you do something with me?”
Water sloshed out of the bucket as she picked it up. “Like what?” Her words were a whisper as a shiver of awareness skittered up her spine.
TJ grinned. “Why, Allison, you’re blushing. Just what exactly are you thinking?”
Her ears burned.
He laughed. “I want to take you somewhere.” His voice touched her like a caress. “Don’t worry. I’ll get someone to finish watering your vegetables.”
She pushed her bangs out of her eyes. “I can’t go anywhere with you. What about the children?” She waved in the direction where Sissy and Michael played.
“I’ll get Train to watch them.”
Nausea rolled in her stomach. “I don’t think that is a good idea.” She turned away and watered another plant. “Joseph might get the wrong idea.”
He set the bucket to the side and moved to stand beside her. He pushed a tendril of hair coming loose from her bun, behind her ear. “Or he might get the right idea,” he softly spoke. His expression turned serious.
“I won’t hurt Joseph. He’s my friend.”
A slow grin split his lips. “Then we don’t have a problem. He can be your friend.” He traced her eyebrow with his thumb. “Don’t think about him. Say you’ll come with me because you want to.”
Allison closed her eyes as his finger moved along her jaw. Her heart raced as she anticipated the kiss. When it didn’t happen, she opened her eyes. Because the sun was bright overhead, she had to narrow her eyes to see him. “I’ll go with you. First you have to promise not to mislead Joseph into believing there is something going on between us when there isn’t.”
“Isn’t there?”
Her skin sizzled with his touch. Warmth bloomed in her belly and her nipples tightened. Did TJ know the way he affected her? Of course, he did. His eyes darkened with desire. Because of the time she spent in the brothel, she recognized the look in a man’s eye when he lusted for a woman.
“Maybe Cake could watch the children?”
“You worry too much.”
Before she could argue, he headed down the hill. Allison brought the children into the house. A few minutes later, TJ had two horses saddled outside the front door. Joseph stood on the porch with his fists tucked into his front pockets. He squinted against the glare of the sun.
She wanted to take him aside and assure him nothing would come of the ride. A part of her—the part tingling with anticipation of going with TJ—wouldn’t let her lie to him.
When TJ indicated the horse she would ride, Allison laughed. “Do you think you could harness those beasts to a buggy?”
TJ took her hand and pulled her towards the horses. “We ride.”
Fear surged from her head to the tips of her toes. “I don’t ride.” He lifted her into the saddle. “TJ, I don’t want to. I’m scared of horses.”
He laughed at her. “You’ve got to be kidding.” TJ ran back up the front porch steps and pulled a spare cowboy hat off the railing. “Thanks,” he said, slapping the hat against Train’s shoulder.
With the ease of a seasoned rider, he mounted his dark brown horse with hooves the size of an elephant’s. He maneuvered next to the gentle sorrel Allison ro
de. He handed her the hat. “It’ll keep the sun out of your eyes. Ready?”
“No, I don’t think so. I’d prefer a wagon ride.”
“Can’t live on a ranch and not know how to ride a horse.”
She nodded. “Then I suppose I’ll need to move back to town.”
TJ laughed. “If you’re too scared—”
“I’m not.” She furrowed her brows. “Just tell me what to do.”
“That’s my girl. Follow my lead.”
Allison couldn’t look at Joseph, couldn’t stand to see hurt and confusion on his face. And this wasn’t the time to try to explain. Did she really have an explanation? She couldn’t say no to TJ, not the way she’d been able to say no to Joseph.
Allison mimicked TJ’s actions, urging her horse forward. She fidgeted with the reins. The horse seemed to want to go in every direction except straight ahead. Shifting slightly, she adjusted her weight in the saddle. Her horse whinnied, twisted its head, and pulled the reins. She gripped harder.
“Allison, let the reins loose.”
Allison tossed the reins to the side of the horse’s head as if they were hot to the touch. “Why?”
TJ laughed and brought his horse close to hers. “Perhaps I should’ve phrased that differently,” he said, handing her back the reins. Picking up his, he demonstrated rather than explain. “She’s a good gal to follow.”
“I’m on a mare? Well, that gives me a little comfort. Females have much better temperaments than males. It’s true in most species.”
TJ chuckled. “You’ve got a clever tongue.”
Allison loosened her grip on the reins, and the horse did just as TJ said she would and fell into pace. “That’s much better.” She smiled and patted the horse on the neck.
“Her name is Sugar,” TJ said, moving his horse to trot along side hers. “Because she is sweet-tempered and easy to ride.”
“And what is his name?” She white-knuckle gripped the saddle horn as the horses moved along.
“Rocky. Come on.” He urged his horse into a quicker pace by squeezing his thighs. Allison let out a scream as her horse followed. Leaning forward she held onto the horse with every muscle in her body. Her heart raced with the speed of the horse beneath her.
After a few minutes, TJ asked, “Are you closing your eyes?” He slowed the horses.
“I’m scared,” she cried. “I want to go back to the house.” Tears spilled onto her cheeks.
TJ quickly dismounted his horse and then helped her. “I’m sorry.”
“I told you I didn’t know how to ride.” She slapped his chest after he set her on the ground. “Let go of me.” She pushed him away and dusted herself off. Her eyes scanned the area around them. “Where are we?”
They stood high on a bluff overlooking the ranch and all the outbuildings. She could see from one end of the valley to the other. In the distance, a herd of cattle grazed in a drying pasture. She walked toward the edge of the cliff. Almost out of range of her vision was the blue water of a lake. In the other direction, mountains loomed majestically to the north and west. “I’ve never seen anything so beautiful.”
TJ pulled the saddles from the horses. He took a blanket and unfolded it under a tree. “This is my favorite spot on the property. Do you know why I brought you here?”
“No. What is this place?”
He smiled and patted the blanket, inviting her to sit next to him. “Everything I am, my land, my home, the herds. My granddad started this place with fifty head of cattle. My dad took over and when he died, it fell to me to carry on.” He put a blade of grass between his teeth and leaned back, propped up with his elbows. His cowboy hat sat low on his head so Allison couldn’t see his eyes when he talked. It didn’t matter. She could hear the pride in his voice.
“What are you going to do if it doesn’t rain soon? I can see how dry the fields are.” She sat in front of him, becoming part of his view. She took off her hat and wiped her face with the hem of her dress. Pulling her hair loose, she let it tumble down her back. Because of the heat, she went to pin it back in place.
“Leave it.” He reached up and combed it with his fingers. She sat motionless. “You are a beautiful woman.” His hand ran along her arm and then traced her knuckles with the pad of his finger. “Do you ever think about me?”
Her hands trembled. “Not unless I’m mad at you,” she lied.
His deep laugh vibrated into her chest, settling in her breast. She tingled where his finger touched her, sending chills along her arms.
“I don’t believe you.” He sat closer and leaned into her ear. “You’re shaking. Are you afraid of me?” He inhaled her scent. His lips barely brushed the shell of her ear. Yet, the powerful response created a rift in her resolve.
“No,” she whispered, acutely aware of his earthy scent. “It’s not fear.” She closed her eyes when his hands reached under her hair and wrapped around her nape. She leaned into the touch. Her stomach twisted, tied into knots. She ached for this—to know what his hands would feel like on her skin.
Gently, he turned her toward him and pulled her onto his lap. His heavy, thick and hard arousal pressed against her rear. With one arm wrapped around her back and the other hand resting close to her breast, he closed in on her slightly parted lips. Lips against lips, barely touching. Shivers of desire followed the warm pressure. His mouth opened over hers. She sank against him. Her fingers gripped the front of his shirt when he moved his head to deepen the kiss. His tongue seared the inside of her mouth.
Tentatively, she allowed her tongue to follow and linger as his had done, savoring the flavor of his moist mouth. Blood pounded in her brain, and between her legs leaving her weak and wet. She was breathless when he finally pulled away. They stayed in the embrace and stared at each other.
Allison reached her arms around his neck and pulled him closer to her. She was shocked at her own eager response to the hardness of his kiss. Quivering with anticipation, her body molded to his. He ran his hand up her spine. His lips parted, and she let her tongue slip inside meeting his again.
TJ growled from deep in his core and pulled her tightly against him. He buried his face in her neck and kissed at the spot under her ear, touching his tongue to her flesh, slightly salty from their ride. Her head fell back exposing her entire neck to his wandering mouth. As he savored the taste of her silken skin, he explored the curves and hollows of her body.
He gently lowered her to the blanket. Once on her back, he then partially covered her body with his. “Tell me if you want me to stop.”
She nipped at his lips. He took it as permission and his mouth ravaged her completely.
Inhaling deeply, her chest rose. He touched the swell of her breast and then cupped it with his palm. Brushing his thumb against the hardened peak beneath the fabric of her dress, he captured a moan of pleasure with another heated kiss.
“I want you.” He whispered against her mouth as he ground his cock against her hip. “I need you—need to be inside you.”
Allison broke the kiss and pushed on his chest. Her breath came in heavy gasps as she sat up. “Good heavens, no.”
TJ couldn’t focus. Blood roared through his head. His heart raced and his body tensed. “Ah, hell.” He ran his hands through his hair and lowered his head. “I’m sorry, Allison.” Her reaction to his kiss both surprised and alarmed. Passionate Allison had almost made him come undone. But wasn’t that why he’d brought her to his favorite spot, to prove she wanted him? He sure as hell knew he wanted her.
“Don’t be sorry, I’m not. We’ve both been curious and now we know,” she said. “It would be wise for us not to allow lust to consume our thoughts, better we not speak of this at all.”
“Allison,” he said wanting to tell her something, anything to smooth the worry lines creasing her forehead.
“We better go.”
They rode back to the house in silence. Allison couldn’t stop thinking about his hands setting her flesh on fire. She’d told him not to dwell on
what happened, but she wasn’t sure she could do that herself. If TJ had wanted, he could’ve lifted her dress and taken her virginity. Still moist from his kisses, she remembered how her heart had pounded and heat had swelled between her legs. Even now, she ached to have him lying on top of her, pressing her into the ground as his hard length speared into her. Flutters filled her belly. Allison finally understood the wants of a woman.
Once at the ranch house, TJ helped her off the horse and then rode back toward the stables. Standing there, watching his retreat, she didn’t hear Joseph come up behind her, until he spoke.
“How was the ride?”
She turned, but fearing he would see what she had done, she avoided a direct glance at him. She put her hands to her hair. She plucked a leaf from her tangled hair.
How was she? Confused, aroused, torn. TJ had kissed her hard. And she’d wanted more. “I’m fine.” What more could she say?
He gave her a half-smile and left her standing on the porch.
Train met up with TJ on the trail back to the house.
“Did the kids behave?” TJ asked Train.
“Did you?” Train snapped back.
“Don’t say something you might regret.” TJ attempted to walk past, but Train stepped in front of him. “Is there something you want to say?” TJ slipped his thumbs into the front pockets of his jeans.
“I’m not backing off because you found a way to entertain yourself for the afternoon. I like her. Maybe I could even love her.” Train aggressively rammed his shoulder into TJ’s as he walked past. “Stay out of my way, and I’ll stay out of yours.”
* * *
As soon as Allison entered the house, she changed her clothes and combed her hair. Putting her hand to her heart, she took several deep breaths. She shouldn’t let TJ know how much she enjoyed his kiss, how much she wanted him to kiss her again. But she couldn’t stop smiling.
Returning to the living room, she sat on the sofa and tucked her feet beneath her as she waited for him to return.
The door burst open and slammed closed behind him. “What went on with you and Train?”