Of course, she hadn’t seen him in Paris and she hadn’t even been able to let him know she wouldn’t be there. His silence since then was ominous.
Katie vented her frustration by stomping her feet on the floor, but even that was unsatisfactory as the thick carpet muffled the sound. Eager to take out her aggravation on something, she looked up with the light of battle in her eyes when Maureen entered the room.
Catching sight of Katie’s expression, Maureen came to a sudden halt. “What is it? Don’t tell me those fabrics won’t be ready in Florence.”
“I don’t know.” Katie jumped up, hands on hips. “I haven’t checked.”
“Why ever not?” With an exasperated twist of her lips, Maureen continued into the room and dropped her sketchpad on the coffee table. “If we can’t pick those textiles up in two weeks, it’ll put us behind for the show in New York. Why haven’t you checked on that?”
A smile with no trace of humor curved Katie’s lips. “Because I don’t care, that’s why.” Some perverse part of her was pleased with the look of astonishment on Maureen’s face. “I don’t give a teeny-tiny rat’s ass if we get behind. I don’t care if the entire country of Italy shuts down and refuses to allow us entry. I don’t care if the whole fashion world disappears and we’re all forced to go around in burlap sacks. I don’t care!”
Maureen put her hands on her hips, her posture mirroring Katie’s. “What’s got into you?”
“I. Miss. My. Husband,” she gritted out.
“Oh, Katie, please.” Maureen rolled her eyes. “He’s perfectly fine.”
“How do you know that?” Katie pinned her friend with a hard look. “Have you spoken to him lately? Because I sure as hell haven’t.”
The indifferent shrug of Maureen’s shoulders as she walked to the window redirected Katie’s anger from the business to her friend. “He isn’t Nicky, so please don’t lump him into the category of men you hate.”
“I don’t hate Jay and you know it.” Maureen jerked the curtains open. “I don’t hate Nicky, either and I don’t appreciate your insinuating that I do.”
Squinting against the unwanted light from the window, Katie snorted. “What I don’t appreciate is your insinuating Jay is content without me.”
“Hasn’t given you a ring lately, though; you said it yourself.”
Katie gasped in outrage. “That’s not fair! And even if he had we wouldn’t have been able to have a decent conversation, not with someone constantly interrupting us with piddling shit about fabrics or sales figures.” With a sound of impatience, she moved to a part of the room where the light wasn’t so piercing. “I wish like hell I’d never talked with you about the way the boys were on the road. But I told you then how I felt about it.”
Maureen pounced on the statement. “Yes, but you also told me you feel differently about it now you’re married.”
“And maybe I’ve talked about that with Jay since then, all right? Maybe he’s decided to throw TVs out of windows instead.”
“And you believe him.” Maureen’s voice was flat.
“He’s never lied to me,” Katie replied with conviction. “If he says it, I believe him.” With a sigh she clasped her hands behind her head. “Look, I don’t know if you talk to Nicky about anything except the children, but things are not exactly cool with the band right now.” Encouraged by the slight frown that appeared between Maureen’s brows, she pressed her point. “Jay needs me. He won’t come right out and tell me, but I know he does.”
“Katie, he has Walter to handle all that for him.”
For a moment Katie was confused before the meaning of Maureen’s words became clear. “That’s not what I mean. He doesn’t need my stupid organizational skills or my dubious financial acumen. He needs me.”
“He has you, doesn’t he? You’re his wife. It’s not as if you’re going to disappear in a puff of smoke, is it?” Her eyes grew bright with unshed tears. “But I do need your skills and acumen, Katie. They’re not stupid or unnecessary or whatever else you said. If you weren’t handling all of that, then this whole thing would fall completely apart. But there’s more.”
Katie was surprised to see Maureen’s mouth trembling. “What’s that, Maur?”
“You’re my best friend.” Maureen blinked and shook her head. “You keep me from losing my mind sometimes. Don’t get me wrong; I love Stephanie and I know I can trust her with my life, but she and I haven’t been through the things you and I have. If I didn’t have you here to help me, I don’t think I could do this.”
Though she was touched by them, Maureen’s words held two meanings for Katie. “I appreciate what you’re saying, but Jay feels the same way.”
“Fine!” Tears spilled down Maureen’s cheeks. “Go ahead, then. Even though you’ll see Jay in London before he goes to the States, just go ahead and leave me here to deal with arrogant French shop owners and recalcitrant Italian textile makers. Not to mention them!” She pointed a shaking finger to the door behind which the twins and their nanny were napping. “I’ll find a way to muddle through somehow.”
Katie had never been so torn and a sliver of doubt entered her mind. Maybe it was her own desire to see Jay that made her think he needed to see her. If he really wanted her with him, he’d have called. He knew where she was. And Maureen was right about one thing: Katie would see Jay in London in a matter of weeks. With a defeated sigh, she made up her mind.
“I won’t leave you, Maur. I’m sure you’re right and Jay’s fine. And I’ll see him when we both get home.”
• • •
Katie awoke from a light doze to the sound of voices and unfamiliar bumps and bangs coming from the front hall. Blinking the sleep from her eyes, she sat up on the couch and recognized Jay’s voice, thanking the possessor of the other voice.
Katie glanced at the mantle clock and saw with surprise that it was after midnight. Damn it. She’d meant to stay up to welcome Jay home from his latest tour of the States, only to get caught napping like one of Maureen’s twins.
Despite her best intentions, she’d only been able to spend one day with Jay in London before he left for America. Two, if she counted the plane ride to New York, and she didn’t. He’d kissed her goodbye at JFK before rushing off to catch his connecting flight to Chicago and she hadn’t seen or talked to him since.
Smoothing her hair, she jumped up and padded into the hall in her stocking feet. Jay turned from locking the door and gave her a smile she thought was somewhat diminished considering they’d had no contact in almost four months.
She slipped her arms around his waist and kissed his neck. “I’m so glad you’re home.”
“So am I.” Accompanying his less-than-ecstatic smile was a hollow note in his voice.
Concerned, Katie pulled back and tried to catch his eye. “Baby, did everything go okay?”
“I suppose so.” He bent and lifted his extra-large suitcase with a grunt of effort. “Only it’s all over.”
“You mean the tour?” Her brow furrowed in confusion.
“The tour, yes. And the band.” Shoulders hunched, he put a foot on the bottom stair.
“The … Jay! What the hell happened?”
The suitcase bumped to the floor and Jay sat heavily on a riser. “Adam happened,” he said in that hollow voice. “Just before we boarded the plane to come home, he announced he’s leaving the group to go solo.”
Katie wobbled over to him on weak knees and dropped down beside him. “That egotistical son of a bitch.”
“That has to be the understatement of the year,” Jay sighed. “It was a shock, yes, but not too bad. We could always find another singer. During the flight I went over a list in my head of all the singers we could ask. I even thought of asking you. Don’t get your knickers in a twist,” he added as she opened her mouth to protest. “As it turns out, I won’t need a singer because Nicky and Stuart cornered me after we landed to tell me they’re leaving, too. They’re going to work more on that synthesizer bullshit.”
“The
y … ” Words failed her as what he’d said sunk in and she could only gape at him.
“And George,” he continued in a monotone. “He looked like he’d just been knighted by the Queen. The way he behaved you’d have thought we’ve been keeping him prisoner the past three and a half years. He grabbed his bags, waved goodbye and split. So that’s it.”
“Oh, baby.” Katie’s frozen muscles thawed with pity and she pulled his head to her shoulder. “What are you going to do?”
“I don’t know.” His hair tickled her neck as he shook his head. “I haven’t really had time to take it all in. Still in shock from my band telling me they don’t want to work with me anymore, I guess.”
She hurried to implement damage control. “I don’t think that’s it. They just want to do different kinds of music, that’s all.”
“That’s enough. They made it perfectly clear they don’t need me to do it.” With a sigh he rose, hefted his suitcase again and trudged up the stairs, leaving Katie sitting in shock.
• • •
“I can’t do this.” Katie tossed the papers she held onto the coffee table of the suite she’d rented at the Plaza Hotel. She’d been staring at documents for fifteen minutes, unable to make heads or tails out of the jumble of words printed on them. “I’m sorry, but I can’t.”
Maureen bit her lip and exchanged a glance full of meaning with Stephanie. Katie looked back and forth between the two of them, frowning with irritation. “What is it? I saw that look.”
“Don’t get your feathers ruffled, darling,” Stephanie soothed. “It didn’t mean anything.”
“Actually, maybe it did.” Maureen’s blue eyes fixed on Katie with an intensity Jay Carey would have envied. “You don’t want to be here, do you?”
In spite of the complete turn-around in Maureen’s attitude regarding Katie’s importance to Jay since Shadowed Knight broke up, Katie was surprised at the question. “No, I don’t. I want to go home to Jay. I hated leaving him only two weeks after those assholes bailed on him like that, and I tried to get him to come with me but he wouldn’t. He kept saying I didn’t need him and he’d be fine.”
“But he’s not fine.” Maureen squeezed her hand in understanding. Incensed at the way the others had walked out on Jay, Maureen had turned into one of his staunchest defenders, doing everything short of instructing the twins’ nanny to look after him. She probably would have done that, too, if he’d have let her. “He did rather have the stuffing knocked out of him all at once.”
“He sure as hell did.” Hot tears filled Katie’s eyes. “I want to go home and be with him. In fact, I just want to go home and stay there.” Maureen’s face was blurry seen through the tears. “He’s been taking all these drugs. He doesn’t really do enough to get hooked, but he used to be like me — we both hated that out of control, disoriented feeling. He usually avoids them, but he’s been experimenting with a lot of them since … And he’s drinking a lot more. I mean a whole lot.” The time she’d told him in anger that he should count more on drugs and alcohol had come back to haunt her. “I want to go home and take care of him. I don’t want to do this anymore.”
“Oh, Katie. I know. I’ve been bloody selfish for far too long, but Jay really does need you now much more than I do. You need to take care of him and make him stop all these nasty things he’s into.” Maureen gathered Katie in her arms and Stephanie embraced her from behind.
Sheltered by her two best friends, Katie let the tears come. She’d tried to remain strong and positive for Jay, but she couldn’t keep up the façade anymore. The tears she shed were those of relief, relief at not having to deal with a business she no longer cared about and relief at maybe having the chance to get her life with Jay straightened out. From the moment they’d met, Jay had been consumed with the formation of Shadowed Knight and then the ongoing success of the band. If he wasn’t in the studio, he was rehearsing. If he wasn’t rehearsing, he was on tour. Katie had been involved with the launch of MKS and all the attendant headaches that went with it. They’d never had the chance to just relax and be with each other without constant demands pulling at them.
“We would never push you out,” Stephanie murmured against Katie’s back. “Never think that, love.”
“It was never what you wanted to do, anyway.” Maureen ran her hand over Katie’s hair in a soft, soothing motion. “You only got into it to help me out and I’ll be forever grateful. But now I’m going to help you by buying you out and letting you go.”
Katie sobbed harder at their kind words, their loving arms. With each tear, another heavy weight lifted from her heart leaving her lighter and more optimistic than she’d been in years.
“Go home to him.” Stephanie kissed the back of her head. “Go take care of him and make him happy.”
Maureen leaned back enough to smile into Katie’s eyes. “And let him make you happy, too.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
Sunlight shone through the door to the sun porch and lay in a blinding block on the wood of the living room floor. Katie stepped into it and felt the warmth caress the tops of her feet. She slipped on her sunglasses, entered the glass-walled room and shivered as the subtropical heat trapped there chased away the air-conditioned chill from her skin. After a moment to let her body adjust, she made her way across the room and opened the door that gave on the patio. Her body stiff with tension, she stood with her eyes downcast before stepping outside. With a deep breath she looked up, and then sighed with relief. The tulips were gone.
The heat radiating from the patio went through the soles of her rubber flip-flops as if she was barefoot and she scampered across the hot stones to reach the cool sanctuary of the lawn. It was twenty degrees cooler in the shade of a large oak and she let her breath out in relief. Kicking off her footwear, she lowered herself to the cool grass. The white roses surrounding the patio rioted in the sunshine, reflecting the light so brightly it hurt her eyes, even through her sunglasses.
At least the row of pink tulips Jay had planted as a surprise for her had died off; even their spiky leaves had been cut away by the gardener, as if they’d never been there. Of course, the bulbs were still in the ground storing up energy until they would bloom again in spring. But Katie could bear the thought of them sleeping in the earth as long as she didn’t have to see them.
It had been two months since she returned from New York to find that Jay had left her without explanation. He’d taken all his clothes, but his guitars remained in their cases in the game room. He’d left no note and hadn’t contacted her since. Numb with shock, Katie hadn’t left the house in those eight weeks, too terrified to move for fear something even worse was waiting for her.
Two days after her return home, she’d looked out the window into the garden, thinking her own yard had to be safe. Anything had to be better than the memories that assaulted her around every corner in the house; or so she’d thought, until the sight of those damned tulips almost brought her to her knees. She’d turned away from the window and hadn’t looked toward the garden again, even after she knew the tulip’s growing season had ended.
That was one more thing Jay had taken from her; her favorite flowers. She lay back on the grass and sighed. Now she couldn’t even go into her own garden until the tulips were as dead as her heart.
The gentle rattle of glass that heralded the door opening made her sit up, her heart beating with anticipation and a jolt of adrenaline that made her nerve endings sing. As always, her hopes were dashed when she saw it wasn’t Jay. But her heart continued to pound, this time in surprise as she recognized the tall figure of Stuart Brady. She hadn’t spoken to him since just before she’d left for New York when she called to yell at him for a good half-hour over the way he left Shadowed Knight. That last conversation had ended when she’d hung up on him with such force the receiver cracked.
Wondering why he’d come, she observed him closely, hoping to get a clue. The beard and mustache he’d grown suited him, gave him an air of piratical swagger,
and she couldn’t help but grin. Seeing it, he grinned back.
“Mind if I join you?”
Remembering that she was supposed to be mad at him, her voice grew cool. “Be my guest.”
Stuart plopped down with a sigh and lay back with his arms crossed behind his head, the mirrored surface of his sunglasses reflecting the leaves of the tree. She waited for him to speak, to offer an explanation to his presence, but he remained mute. With a mental shrug, she turned to him, determined to play nice.
“How are you doing?” she asked at the same moment he posed the same question to her. Startled at their unintentional duet, they laughed. “You first,” Katie told him, smiling as her long-held grudge melted away. Staying mad at Stuart was impossible, not to mention stupid and unnecessary.
Stuart sighed, but a small smile lingered on his lips. “I’m okay. Just takin’ it day by day.”
Katie bit her bottom lip. “Still working with Nicky?”
A brief shrug moved his shoulders. “Yeah. Don’t know if it’ll go anywhere, but we’re keepin’ on.” He turned his head toward her. “Now your turn.”
Katie lay back down, her hands on her stomach. “I’m not okay.”
“I didn’t think you would be,” he said, his voice matter-of-fact. “You shouldn’t be.”
His was the first honest reaction she’d got since Jay decamped. She much preferred it to the constant refrain she’d feel better in time, given in that tone reserved for those having suffered the death of a loved one. She glanced at him with a faint flicker of hope. “Do you know where he is?”
“No, babe, I’m sorry.”
The flicker was extinguished. “Would you tell me if you did?”
He rose up on an elbow and stared at her, mouth open. “Of course I would, Katie! What do you take me for?”
“Sorry.” She shook her head. “I just have a hard time trusting anyone these days.”
“Especially me.”
Katie’s eyes darted to his face, but he was looking across the garden toward the pool. Those ridiculous shades still hid his eyes and she wished she could see his expression. “That’s over, Stuart. That kind of petty drama doesn’t seem to matter anymore.”
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