by JoAnna Grace
“Just go,” Kelly said. Her face crumpled and she turned into Pop’s shoulder. “I can’t do this. I can’t see him.”
Trevor ran both hands through his hair and clenched his eyes shut. What else was he supposed to do? Staying against her wishes would only cause her more grief. She clearly didn’t want or need him here. “If that’s what you want, baby. I’ll go.”
Trevor drove his rental car around town for hours. That couldn’t have gone worse if he’d scripted it. All he wanted was to prove to Kelly that he loved her and that he hadn’t broken her trust. But he wasn’t the one withholding vital information. A baby. God, How else was he supposed to react? He was going to be a father. If Kelly would even let him. This changed everything. The hub of his universe had shifted.
What would he do now? Kelly might not want him, but he couldn’t walk out on his kid. Should he call his lawyer about getting joint custody? If Kelly fought him, he would fight back.
He cringed thinking about her busted lip, how fragile and small she’d looked huddled up behind Pops, cradling her swollen belly.
Don’t kill the baby.
Trevor slapped the steering wheel. He might have hit her on accident, but it didn’t matter. She’s mentally classified him with her ex. It had been written on her face, she couldn’t even look at him.
Months of pain and secrets lay between them, creating a great chasm in their relationship. He didn’t know if it was possible to patch it up. Kelly had kicked him out of her house. She’d kept a massive secret for months, she’d ignored his calls, and she’d been shacking up with Mark in the meantime. Maybe it was over after all.
He picked up his cell phone and made a call as the first drops of rain hit his windshield. Parked in the grocery store lot, he called the only person he knew to call.
“Dad?”
“Trevor? Hey son. I was just thinking about you. Hold on, let me go into the next room so she won’t hear.”
It burned him that his father had to hide from his step-monster. But that was nothing new.
“I need some advice.” Trevor gave his father the rundown of what happened. It was a long and exhausting conversation with his father asking questions about lawyers and scandals.
“Run, Trevor. I’m telling you, son, you don’t know that this girl is telling the truth. You said yourself that other guy was there with her.”
His heart crumpled at the thought of never seeing Kelly again, of never knowing their child. Was his father right? Could he really believe her? He remembered back to the afternoon they sat in her bed and she showed him the African child advocate agency she’d been donating to. They talked about what it would take to adopt a child. That woman, the woman he’d fallen in love with wasn’t capable of scandalizing him. He believed in her.
“I trust her, Dad.”
“Haven’t you learned anything from your line of work? Don’t trust anyone. This woman pops up pregnant when she told you she couldn’t. I can smell the ink of the tabloids now.”
“She didn’t contact me though. I came to her. If I hadn’t come back, I don’t know if she ever would have told me.”
“Then you’re the fool for not staying away.” He talked in a hushed voice. “Son, I’ll admit, the thought of you settling down and popping out a couple grandkids for your old man is a nice thought.” He stopped to yell at his wife in the other room. “You are not too young to be a grandmother. Just because your tits are only ten years old doesn’t mean the rest of you is. Mind your own goddamned business.” He groaned and Trevor could hear the utter exhaustion in his father’s voice. “As I was saying. That life sounds nice. But you didn’t sign up for that. You signed up for a life of publicity not privacy, of constant public scrutiny. You really think that little mountain maid is going to adjust? You think she’d going to stick around once she’s had her fifteen minutes of fame and stuck you with outrageous child support? Listen to me when I tell you that women are calculating and manipulative. She’s going to be a pain in your ass.”
“I can’t walk away. I love her, Dad.”
“Love?” his father said and laughed. “Love is a joke, Trevor.”
“Are you saying you never loved Mom?”
There was a beat of silence then a sigh on the other end of the line. “Your mom was one of a kind, Trevor. She loved me when I was poor and worthless. Why she stooped to marry me, I’ll never know. But that didn’t last and look what the hell I’m stuck with now. Men like us, rich men, don’t find love. You’re around beautiful women all the time. Don’t settle down with just one. And don’t get stuck with the kid if you don’t know for a fact it’s yours. It will ruin your career. You get your ass out of there and tell her if she wants anything from you, the request better come with a DNA test.”
Maybe his father was right. If this surfaced, it would ruin all their lives. Kelly and Pops would forego privacy, he would end up with some outrageous child support and the tabloids would have a field day. As much as it hurt to think about never being with Kelly again, he couldn’t do anything else to bring her pain. He would send money for their baby, and leave her alone just like she asked.
Trevor pointed the car towards the airport and let the tears fall. He loved Kelly enough to do what was best for her, even if it meant living in pain for the rest of his life.
Chapter Sixteen
Pops helped Kelly up and they held each other as Trevor once again walked out, slamming the door in his wake. Her past was too close to the present and if she saw Craig in Trevor’s face, she might not ever be able to separate the two. Unable to take much more, she broke down and sobbed on her grandfather’s shoulder. He led her to the kitchen and wet a cloth for her face.
“I’ve really screwed up this time, huh?” She wiped her eyes and then her bloody lip. It was a minor injury, but it stung. Trevor had knocked her off her balance more than he’d actually hurt her. Her heart knew that, but her head went back to the last time she’d been knocked to the floor by a man. How many times had she been in that same situation, huddled up in the fetal position on the ground? Even though time had healed the scars, she could still hear Craig screaming and feel his shoe as it rammed into her stomach.
She’d been so lost in the past, she’d been absorbed in the pain, sucked back to that day. How could she have thought Trevor would hurt her like Craig did? He wouldn’t hurt a soul. But her instincts had taken over. All she cared about was protecting her child from another threat. She couldn’t risk losing another baby. She’d never recover if it happened again.
Trevor wasn’t Craig, nowhere close. She had to get her head in the right place. Trevor was stricken when he’d hurt her, an emotion her ex-husband never felt.
Pops inhaled deep and let it out with a shaky sigh. “I’m not going to blow smoke up your dress, sweetheart. You’ve made some bad choices and now you have to clean up the mess.” He went to the fridge to get ice.
“I don’t know how to fix it. I thought I was doing the best thing for everyone. Now? Now I don’t know what to do. I totally lost my shit in front of Trevor. He probably thinks I’m a lunatic. When Mark reached for me, all I saw was Craig’s face. They’re brothers, how could I not? Mark already deals with guilt over Craig. He must hate me right now. I’ve hurt everyone I love, Pops.”
So many times she imagined Trevor coming back, taking her into his arms and loving her. None of those times included a fistfight with Mark or a flashback to when she’d been beaten. How had things gotten so out of hand?
“Are you saying you love Trevor?” Pops looked into her eyes and held a cold compress on her lip.
For the last few months she and Mark had done a piss-poor job of acting like Trevor was out of the picture. Her grandfather was no fool, though. Knowing that he knew the truth didn’t make it easy to confess. She nodded her head, fresh tears formed in her eyes.
“What if he doesn’t love me back? What if he’s too angry about the baby, Mark, all of it?”
“It seems to me, you’re asking the wrong
man the questions.”
Kelly hung her head and rubbed her belly. “What if he’s gone for good this time?”
“Then I guess you’ll have your answers.” Pops kissed her forehead. “And the punk won’t stay mad forever. It’s not his style.”
Late that afternoon, she sat in the bay window and watched the rain streak down the glass. Her biggest fear had come true. Trevor found out about their baby and walked away. It had been hours and no sign of him. Unlike Mark, who had simply stepped outside, Trevor left. Mark called and the hotel confirmed Mr. Bauers had checked out. He was most likely on a plane back to his normal life.
She closed her eyes and rubbed her aching temple. Her child would grow up always seeing its father, but never knowing him. That’s what she mourned now. Until today, she’d had hope that Trevor would be an active father to their baby. In the back of her mind, she’d been certain Trevor would love her enough to forgive her and come back into their lives. All her hope was gone now.
A car drove past on the road. For a second, her heart stopped but the car didn’t break or slow down at her driveway’s entrance. A ping of disappointment struck. She had to accept that Trevor was gone.
She rubbed the kicking bulge in her belly and prayed her child would one day forgive her for robbing him or her of a father. “I’m sorry, baby,” she whispered through her tears. “It’s all my fault.” Once again, she hadn’t protected her child. This time it would be her baby that paid the price. That hurt her more than the thought of being alone.
Kelly had never known her parents and their loss was hard enough. Her child would know that he or she had a dad, but he’d rejected the chance to be there for them. The daunting reality of being a single mother weighed on her whole body, making her ache down to the bone. She rubbed at her sternum and hugged her belly. No matter how hollow she felt inside, she would have to be everything to her child: mother and father, friend and foe, teacher and disciplinarian.
Another set of headlights shined down the road, glinting off the glass of the windows. This time they turned and came barreling up the driveway. Her breath caught and she reached up to the window to touch the glass. Please God, please be him.
Trevor slid out of the car into the pouring rain. He took two steps before he looked up and saw her sitting in the window.
He’d come back.
“Well, well, well,” Pops said from the entry hall. He smiled at Kelly. “Looks like you have your answer.”
She bolted to the front door, as fast as a heavily pregnant woman could anyway. When she opened it, Trevor stood in the same spot on the walkway getting drowned by the rain. Kelly went to the edge of the covered patio and hugged herself.
“What are you doing here?” she called over the sound of rain and thunder. “The hotel said you checked out.”
Trevor was drenched. His clothes stuck to his body, his hair dripped in his face. But he made no move to come out of the downpour. “I was halfway to the airport when I turned around. I couldn’t leave you. Not again. I love you, Kelly.”
How she managed more tears, she’ll never know. But this time, they were tears of happiness and overwhelming relief. “I love you too. Please come out of the rain.”
Trevor shook his head and opened his arms to the sky. “I’m letting it wash everything away. I want to start clean, to start over with you and our baby. Can we do that? Please?” His voice cracked. It was hard to tell in the rain and the darkness, but Trevor was crying. His lips trembled and his eyes were bloodshot.
He loved her. He wanted her. He wanted their baby. That was all she’d prayed for. No matter where they went from here, at least she knew that Trevor loved her. He’d come back.
“Are you sure you’re up for this role? Fatherhood isn’t exactly scripted. God knows we have a lot to work out.”
“I promise you, it will be my best performance yet, the role of a lifetime. I’ll give it everything I have.”
Kelly stepped off the porch and into the spring rain. When she reached Trevor, she held out her hand. “I’m Kelly.”
“I’m Trevor.” He smiled and slid his hand into hers.
“I’m pregnant.”
“Man, you move fast for a chick I just met.”
Kelly put her hand over her mouth, but she couldn’t hold in her laughter. Even though she was crying, they were tears of joy and hope.
Trevor pulled her into his arms, one hand on her back, the other on their child. “I’ll do anything you want, just please let me be this baby’s father and your husband.”
Kelly’s face dropped. “That’s your proposal?” She slapped his chest. “I’m standing in the rain looking like a drowned cat and you pick now to propose?”
Trevor looked to the heavens and groaned. “You’re going to drive me crazy, aren’t you? Can’t you answer the question?” He leaned his forehead to hers and held her face in his palms. “Forget what the picture looks like and just say yes.”
Kelly’s heart flipped in her chest. Seeing his smile again turned her inside out. All this time she’d waited, fearing what he would do. Not once did she imagine he would want to marry her. Could they make it work? They were going to have a baby, she was damned sure going to try.
She linked her arms around his neck. “Yes.”
Trevor closed the distance between their lips, kissing her so thoroughly even the rain couldn’t cool her off.
“You know,” Pops hollered from the porch. Mark stood behind him with towels. “You can do that inside—where it’s dry.”
Kelly and Trevor laughed and made a mad dash for the foyer.
“Welcome back.” Mark passed Trevor a towel.
“You could have said that earlier, instead of that right hook.” Trevor grinned back.
Mark rubbed his bruised jaw. “If I would’ve known you were a freaking ninja, I might have.”
Trevor held out his hand and Mark shook it. Something passed between them and their fight was over. Thank God, otherwise Trevor would hit him again when he found out Mark was the baby’s godfather. They should probably have that conversation soon.
They spent the rest of the evening with Pops and Mark catching up on the last six months. The tension between the leading men in her life was thick, especially Mark and Trevor. The level of devotion Mark had shown her over the months was not unnoticed. Each time they shared a private detail about her pregnancy or her moods, she could see Trevor’s jaw clench. He was trying so hard not to be jealous, but there was so much Mark had experienced instead of him.
On the opposite end of the scale, every time she smiled at Trevor or touched him, Mark would turn his head away or ask Trevor an off-the-wall question to veer them off track. Kelly was a tree between two dogs. She blamed herself. Both men meant the world to her and both men wanted to be number one. The fistfight might be over, but they were a long way from being besties.
“Well, I’m going to head out.” Mark stood up and brushed down his pants. “I have the late shift tonight so don’t wait up.” He rubbed a hand over his face and scratched at his chin. “Um, I guess I can move back to my apartment now.” His shoulders slumped a fraction.
“I’ll walk you out.” Kelly reached for his hand and allowed him to pull her up. They went to her studio, the room they had shared for months. “I can’t imagine how weird this is for you.”
“I’m the one who called him, Kelly. It’s way past time for him to be here. I guess I didn’t think much further ahead, though.” He shrugged it off.
“Mark…”
“Don’t. Please. For the love of my dignity, don’t give me some apology and words of consolation. I’ve already had my ass handed to me. My balls are about to shrivel up like raisins. Let’s call it what it is. You’re my best friend, you’ll always be my best friend, and nothing will change that. Now we can get back to normal.”
“Yep.”
“Oh no, not the one word sentences.” His laughter held bitterness in it. “I don’t belong in this picture, Kelly. You’re the photographe
r. You know that. One of these things is not like the other,” he sang playfully. They both grinned, even though her chest ached for him.
“I love you.”
“Oh, babe.” Mark pulled her in for a hug. “I love you too.” He gave his best grin, but it didn’t meet his eyes. “Now you can be happy in a relationship that was meant to be. And I can go get laid.”
Kelly’s startled laughter broke the serious mood. “You really are a man-whore at heart.”
“After six months of celibacy, I plan to be.”
“I’m not baby-sitting.” Kelly stuck her finger in his face. They hugged once more until she could bear to let go.
Mark reached down and picked up his duffle bag. He held it up. “What does this tell us?”
She’d never even thought about the fact he kept his clothes in a gym bag and not in her dresser or closet. Why hadn’t she noticed that sooner? After six months, he’d never actually moved in. Even his toiletries were in a travel bag on her sink. Wow. That revelation blew her mind.
“I guess you’re right. We were only playing house.” That was a shame. Mark would make a wonderful husband if he treated his wife half as well as he treated her.
“I’d do it again in heartbeat.” He studied her for a moment. “We’re good, Kelly. I’m not upset and you shouldn’t be either. Trevor’s a good man with good intentions, even if his execution needs guidance.”
Kelly’s throat closed up and she didn’t trust her voice, so she simply bobbed her head and looked at the floor. She couldn’t see her shoes anymore and that upset her too.
As Mark’s truck pulled out of her driveway, she heard the laughter coming from Pops and Trevor inside the house. Her life had once again done a ninety-degree turn, veering off the course it was on but not going back to what it was before Trevor stepped off that plane. Only time would allow things to get back to normal with her best friend.