by Bonnie Lamer
“Did anything peculiar happen?”
“Are you referring to my cousin begging my grandmother to allow him to move in here on a permanent basis?”
Sure, let’s go with that. Better than asking him if a giant meteor fell from the sky. Obviously it didn’t as we are still here. “How do you think his father will take it?” I ask, assuming Kegan’s relationship with his father in this world is as bad as it is in mine. Why else would he be begging to move in here?
Kallen shrugs. “Poorly.”
There is a loud pounding on the door. “I have been sent to remind you of breakfast,” Kegan shouts through the door.
With a sigh, Kallen kisses the top of my head. “Here for five minutes and he is already the errand boy.”
“I heard that!” Kegan growls through the wood.
“I intended for you to hear it,” Kallen grins at the door. Nope, some things never change. Still, Kallen disentangles himself from me and rises from the bed. Is it possible for a world to exist in which I don’t love watching him stretch naked in the morning? I don’t think so.
A sexy smile plays on my lips. “Come back to bed.”
He turns lust filled eyes to me, but to my utter disappointment says, “And bear the wrath of the Queen? I do not think so.”
The Queen? So, Tana does exist in this world. And upon closer inspection, there does seem to be a real bit of fear lingering in Kallen’s eyes. Oh man, is she evil again? With growing dread, I push back the covers and climb out of bed, mentally preparing myself for a fight. In the back of my mind, there is also a ray of hope that I will find Taz alive and well.
After we freshen up and dress, Kallen and I head downstairs. I turn my feet toward the kitchen, but Kallen tugs on my arm. “Breakfast with the King and Queen, remember.” He pulls a confused me toward the formal dining room.
Seriously? The formal dining room for breakfast? I try hard not to roll my eyes. As soon as we step foot in the room, though, I regret not having done so. If I had, my eyes would have been diverted for a fraction of a second longer from the ghastly sight they are now witnessing. I’m ready for that meteor to hit now. Or the tsunami. That would work, too. Anything to make this world disappear.
I press my eyelids together, hoping to erase the sight before me. I pry one open. Nope. Didn’t work. I consider grabbing one of the forks from the table and just gouging my eyes out completely. Yes, that’s what I’ll do. Or does one use a spoon to rid oneself of her eyes? I suppose it doesn’t matter. Either way will be painful, and possibly the pain will be so intense it will cleanse my soul of the grotesque sight before me.
“Are you okay?” Kallen whispers.
“You do seem pale, darling. Are you unwell?” Dagda asks. Darling? I am so not his darling. Especially not right now.
I’m in a different world, I keep telling myself. The most insane one of them all, apparently. Forcing my mouth to form a word, because I cannot manage more than one, I finally choke out, “Fine.” I sit. Actually, my knees buckle and I fall into a chair. Again, the tsunami or meteor can hit any time now.
“Are you certain? You look rather peaked,” Mom says.
I can’t really focus on her words, though. Not when she is speaking them through the mouth that was just attached to my biological father’s. Oh my god. Dad. Dad must not exist in this world. And if Dad doesn’t exist, Zac doesn’t exist. That realization sends me into another tailspin. This one not of shock but sadness. I try to keep the tears that want to spring into my eyes at bay. I am losing the battle.
Kallen brushes a tear from my cheek. The worry in his eyes when he turns my face so I can see him is heart wrenching. “Xandra, what is it? What is the matter?”
Choking back the rest of my tears, I square my shoulders. “Um, nothing. I’m just kind of emotional this morning. Not sure why.” That sounds lame, but it’s the best I can come up with. Seeing that everyone is staring at me as if I have six heads and twelve arms, I decide I can’t make it worse. “Hey, I know what would help. Mom, why don’t you tell me about how you and Dagda came to be…” I glance down at her ring finger to be sure and gulp back a choking sound, “…married.”
Nonplussed, Mom peers more closely at me. “Xandra, what is going on? And why are you referring to your father by his given name?”
Pasting a smile on my face, I shake my head. “Nothing, really. And I was just trying out the name. Thought it would be fun. Sorry. But I would love to hear the story. Again,” I add, assuming that in this world I have already heard it. Probably more than once.
After a quick glance at Dagda, and him patting her arm affectionately which makes me want to vomit, Mom nods. “Alright, dear.” A genuine smile forms on her lips. Obviously, she loves this story. Ugh. Maybe I don’t want to hear it, after all. I suspect it will only add to my growing nausea. “As you know, your father was angry with the Witches.” She turns an affectionate gaze back to him. “But, when he came to seduce me out of spite, he found me absolutely irresistible. Instead of seeking to make war with the Witches, he decided to make peace instead. He wooed me until he made me his. It didn’t take long,” she sighs happily. “We were married within a month. Nine months later, we had you.”
“So, I grew up here?” The words are out of my mouth before I can stop them. I clamp a hand over my lips and pretend to cough. Hard. After my fake choking episode, I attempt to wipe the extremely confused expressions from their faces. “I don’t know why that came out as a question,” I mutter. “Of course I grew up here. Wouldn’t have wanted to grow up anywhere else.”
Kallen reaches over and takes my hand in his. “I, for one, have always been glad you grew up here.” His smile is so sweet, I can’t help but lean into him and give him a light kiss. Leaning to the side, he whispers in my ear, “I first wanted to marry you when we were eight, if you recall. But, you made me wait six more years for our first kiss.”
I grew up loving Kallen. Now, that is a world I would have enjoyed. Except for the complete ick factor of my biological parents being together, of course. Then again, I’m certain there was no ick factor in this world. Not if it was the only thing I knew. My heart still aches for Dad and Zac, though. I won’t give up on them. I need to find my way back to my world where Mom is happy with Dad and Dagda is happy with Tana and I have a wonderful little brother.
“You still look pale. Maybe you should go back to bed for a while,” Mom insists. “We can do breakfast another time.”
“We are postponing breakfast?” Isla says from the doorway. She is quick to hide it, but I don’t miss the glee in her eyes. These breakfasts with Mom and Dagda are obviously not her thing, either. I wonder if she can sense there is something wrong with the whole idea of it? She is very intuitive. Glancing at her watch, she says, “I will head to the palace now, then. Might as well get an early start to things.” She can’t leave the room fast enough. If only she took me with her.
Kallen rises from his chair and holds his hand out to me. “Come on, I will tuck you back into bed.”
Hmm, stay and watch Mom and Dagda make googly eyes at each other or join Kallen in our room. I glance at my parents and shudder. Decision made. “Maybe a nap would help. I’m probably just coming down with a cold or something.”
“Feel better, dear,” Mom says, her forehead wrinkled in worry.
“Let me know if you are not going to make it to the palace this afternoon,” Dagda says. “If we need to postpone the meeting with the Minister of Finance, so be it.” I sit in on his meetings with the Minister of Finance? I guess I’m more involved with the running of the government in this world. Makes sense if I grew up around it. I probably understand everything about Fairy society and its laws in this world.
Since I am not from this world, going to that meeting would probably make me appear more of an idiot than I do right now. “Um, let’s meet with him tomorrow,” I suggest. With how things have been going, there probably won’t be a tomorrow for me in this world. Unless I just jinxed myself and am now stuck
here. I really hope not.
Wanting to make my escape, I hurry from the room with Kallen in tow. Walking hand in hand to the stairs, my steps slow and I actually find myself growing more curious about this world I find myself in. Of the three I’ve experienced now, I must say, this one is the most interesting. I grew up loving Kallen. My biological parents found love together. Life would have been much simpler if this was how it really happened.
“Why do we live here instead of the palace again?” I blurt out. I groan internally. I need to stop asking stupid questions.
To my surprise, Kallen chuckles. “I assume you are being facetious.”
I roll my eyes. “Of course.”
With a wry smile, Kallen says, “It is unfortunate our year respite is almost up. Soon, we will be back there.”
So, we did live at the palace. We must have begged for the peace and quiet of Isla’s mansion. A part of me is surprised Dagda agreed. Even in my world, he wants Kallen and me to live at the palace. He makes that suggestion rather frequently. We choose to ignore it just as frequently.
“Breakfast over so soon?” Kegan remarks from the terrace as we walk by.
We stop in the doorway. “Why weren’t you there?”
Kegan snorts. “And watch your parents fawn all over each other. I would not have been able to keep my food down.”
I can’t help but defend them even if I was also a bit grossed out by their affection for each other. Okay, more than a bit. Lots more. “They’re still in love after all these years. Leave them alone.”
Kegan quirks a brow. “Someone is touchy this morning.”
I give him a sheepish smile. “Sorry, I guess I’m a little under the weather.”
“Come, we should get you back to bed,” Kallen says, tugging on my hand.
I scowl at him. “You know I hate it when you order me around like a dog.”
The sheer surprise on his face is enough for me to know that I’m not quite so sensitive about it in this world. How strange. “Like a dog?” Kallen repeats.
I can’t help it; I roll my eyes. “Come. That’s what you say to dogs.”
“She really is touchy this morning,” Kegan smirks.
“Say it again and I’ll show you how touchy I am this morning,” I grumble.
“Your grammar is suffering considerably, as well,” Kegan pushes. “Why all the contractions?”
I scowl and open my mouth to say something about where he can put his opinion regarding my use of contractions when I realize he’s right. If I grew up here, I wouldn’t speak with contractions. Every once in a while a Fairy will let one slip, but for the most part, they consider it rude. I clamp my mouth shut again before I say something incriminating.
A wide grin breaks out on Kegan’s face. “I have rendered you speechless. I do not believe that has ever happened before.”
I glower at him. “We were on our way upstairs.” I turn toward the terrace door and walk through it. I hear Kegan chuckling behind me. The chuckling stops after a soft thud of flesh meeting flesh. I believe Kallen just punched him in the arm. It is comforting to know some things don’t change. I smile to myself as I walk up the stairs.
10 Chapter
In our room, I find the four walls confining. I need some air. I walk out onto the balcony and gaze at the ocean stretching out to the horizon. It’s a calm, pleasant day here on the beach. No crashing waves or any other indication of a deep ocean volcano erupting. The sky is bright, not meteor crashing to the earth bright, just a nice, sunny day.
Hands slide around my waist and I sigh contentedly. It doesn’t matter what world I’m in, Kallen’s touch is a constant wonder. My skin tingles in the most delightful way. But, as always happens when I find a place of contented bliss, an ugly thought creeps into my head. This Kallen is different than yesterday’s Kallen who was different than Kallen from the day before that. Oh my god. Am I cheating on my husband? With my husband? I groan aloud and slouch forward out of his arms. I’m tempted to jump off the balcony and run screaming into the sea. Things just keep getting worse, don’t they?
“Xandra?” Kallen reaches for me again but I slip out of his reach. Frowning with concern, he asks, “What is wrong?”
“Oh, nothing a good meteorite crashing to the earth wouldn’t cure,” I grumble under my breath.
Growing irritated by my bad attitude, he says, “You are truly unwell. I am going to find Tabitha. Maybe she can give me answers.” He is annoyed with me but I am fairly oblivious to it. I just figured out that I might be cheating on him with him, after all. That would make anyone a bit distracted.
“Okay.” I wave him off, already absorbed in my convoluted thought process. He hesitates, but leaves me on the balcony alone after a moment. I’m relieved. I need to think this through.
So, in each day, I am still myself. Other than my behavior, no one thinks it’s odd that I’m here. There isn’t another me, so I’m not jumping universes. At least, I don’t think so. I keep referring to these as different worlds, but I don’t think that’s accurate. In my gut, I feel confident that I am in my universe, my world, but my world is changing. The people are the same, at least physically, but their memories have been altered and their personalities either slightly, or like yesterday and Dagda, radically different. How is that possible? What is causing the changes?
The past. In each of the three different, for lack of a better description at the moment, worlds, a key event in the past has changed. Well, not changed, exactly. It didn’t happen. Something important didn’t happen. Why? Are the Angels trying to teach me a lesson of some sort? Am I supposed to be gleaning knowledge from this experience which I will carry with me into the future? Am I supposed to take the world ending disasters as a sign of things to come? Or are they metaphors, signs of my potential weaknesses? Thanks for that, if it’s the latter, my dear Angel friends. Nothing like making someone feel inferior and weak when teaching them a lesson.
That doesn’t feel right, though. It doesn’t feel like a lesson. It feels more like I’m being taunted. Like someone is saying, look at how easily I can change your world. Then kill you with a freak natural disaster which no amount of magic could stop. Who would be that powerful? More importantly, who would want to torture me like that?
Back to my little Kallen issue. If past events are changing, but the people in my life are staying the same, I’m not cheating if I make love to my husband, right? I mean, he’s still the same person. It’s just his life experiences have changed. But physically. Physically, he is still my Kallen. And emotionally, he still loves me in each scenario. But, then again, I’m not necessarily the Xandra he really knows in each scenario, am I? Maybe I’m not cheating on him, but I’m forcing him to cheat on me. Or, at least, the me he knows. With the me he doesn’t know. Lord, my head hurts.
“Fear and doubt cloud the brain, as realities weave in and out of this plane. Like the sway of spider’s silk, time can be used to bilk, also used to control and constrain.”
“Um, who said that?” I ask, searching for whatever creature has the power of voice and rhyme this time. I scan the balcony but I don’t see anything. Great, is the air talking to me now?
“Xandra,” Kallen says slowly from behind me. “Did that spider just speak to you? In rhyme?”
I whip around to where his eyes are glued to a spot above the balcony doors. There, in the corner, is an ugly black spider. It’s only about an inch long, but what it lacks in size, it more than makes up for in presence. I take an unconscious step backwards. “Yup, it sure did,” I confirm to Kallen. Nonplussed, I add, “I thought you were going for Tabitha.”
“I decided I was overreacting,” he says, taking a step closer to me. “Why is a spider speaking to you in verse?”
I shake my head. “I wish I knew.”
“It sounded as if it was making a threat of some sort.”
I consider this. “It did, didn’t it?” As I play the words over in my brain, though, I change my mind. “Or warning me.”
&
nbsp; Kallen drags his eyes from the spider to meet mine. “Warning you about what?”
I make a decision. If this is really my Kallen, I need to trust him with what is going on and hope that he doesn’t still think I’m crazy after I tell him everything. “We need to talk.”
He stares at me long and hard then shakes his head. “This cannot possibly be good,” he mutters. But, he holds a hand out to me and I take it. We edge past the spider and make our way back into our bedroom. He uses magic to close the balcony door. Hopefully, that will keep the spider on the outside of the house. I’m not in the mood to listen to any more stupid rhymes from creatures which shouldn’t be able to speak at all.
Once we reach the bed, Kallen drops my hand and climbs on. He leans against the headboard and pats the spot next to him. “Come tell me what disaster has struck this time,” he says with a wry smile. Yes, he is definitely my Kallen.
I sit next to him and take a deep breath. Letting it out slowly, I square my shoulders and force myself to tell him everything. He remains silent as the words spill from my mouth. When I am finished, I brace myself for his doubt, and the likelihood that he will want to have my brain examined. I watch him as he ponders everything I have said, rolling the words around in his mind. When he opens his mouth, I fear the words which will come out so much, I almost tell him I was just kidding and to forget everything I said. I bite my tongue hard enough to draw blood to keep from doing it.
Without a trace of accusation or doubt in his voice, Kallen says, “That would certainly explain why my memories are all so vague. And why I constantly feel as if the world is off somehow.”
I blink for several long seconds. My mouth drops open for several more long seconds. For another several long seconds I seriously consider strangling the love of my life. “What?”
Kallen shrugs uncomfortably. “For the longest time, I have had the feeling something is not right in our world.”
My eyes are wide as watermelons. “You never thought that, perhaps, you should share this information with me?”