“I’m starting to see that. I could have saved myself much pain if I’d only obeyed.”
The air suddenly stiffened as if an invisible wall rose between them. When Eliza looked at James, she found him staring at the pocket watch in her hand.
“You’ve gone pale, James. What is it?” She laid a hand on his arm.
“Where did you get that watch?” His voice sounded hollow.
Eliza held it up. “From my husband. It was the last thing he gave me.”
James’s breath gusted from his chest as his dazed look never left the watch. “Your husband? What was his rank again?”
“Brigadier general.”
“Do you know if he fought at Antietam?”
She stared at him, her mind spinning with his questions. “I believe so, yes. He was killed only a few months later.”
“And when did he give you the watch?”
“You’re scaring me. What is this about?”
“Answer the question, please.” She’d never seen him so serious.
“I received it in the mail a week before we received news of his death.”
“May I?” He held out his palm, and she slid it onto his hand. “These initials. They are yours?”
“Yes. Flora Eliza Watts.”
A cloud covered the sun. James lowered his head.
“What is it, James?”
He fisted the watch until his knuckles turned white. “I met your husband on the battlefield.”
“You did? Pray tell, where?”
“Antietam.”
James finally faced her, and what she saw in his eyes sent the blood retreating from her heart. She swallowed the burst of angst threatening to destroy her joy.
“After the battle, we suffered major losses. Over ten thousand wounded—so many we couldn’t count. I went out on the field to assess the injured before we transported them back to the hospital. Body parts and organs were strewn over the field. But it’s the screaming I’ll never forget.”
Eliza’s eyes misted at his pain, even as she feared what he would say next.
“Union soldiers canvassed the dead, stripping them of their effects.”
Nausea bubbled in her stomach.
“I approached a young boy no more than seventeen. He had a leg wound. Not fatal from the looks of it. A Yankee soldier, a brigadier general, appeared out of nowhere. I noticed him because it was rare to see a man of his rank combing the field after a battle. He never glanced my way but instead knelt by the lad and yanked on a chain around the boy’s neck. At the end of it hung a pocket watch.”
Eliza felt the blood drain from her face. “You think he was my Stanton?”
“Let me finish.” The lines on the doctor’s face dipped in sorrow. “The boy gripped the Yankee officer’s arm and shook his head, pleading with him not to take it. Instead, the man pulled out his sword and thrust it in the boy’s heart then yanked the watch from his neck. Afterward, he stared at his new trinket for a minute, smiled, and stuffed it in his pocket.”
Eliza’s legs turned to mush, and she grabbed the railing. James took her elbow to steady her. “How can you be sure it was Stanton?” she asked.
“This is the watch he took.” James opened his palm. “I’m sure of it. I’d recognize this silver etching anywhere. Besides, I saw the initials. See how big the letters are and the way they glitter in the sun? It was a bright afternoon that day.”
A sour, putrid taste filled her mouth. Eliza knew Stanton had been cruel, she just didn’t know how much of a monster he truly was. She pressed a hand to her belly, forcing her breakfast to remain. “So, he didn’t have it engraved just for me. He murdered a boy for it and was pleased when the initials matched mine.” And all this time, she’d been carrying it around, admiring it, dreaming that Stanton had harbored a modicum of love for her.
“But that’s not the worst of it.”
The doctor’s tone sent Eliza’s heart into her throat.
“The watch was an heirloom passed down through the military men in the boy’s family as a good luck charm.”
“How do you know this?”
“Because that boy was Jeremy Wallace, Blake’s little brother.”
CHAPTER 33
As the New Hope drifted to a halt and the anchor was cast, Blake sought out Eliza through the crowd amassing on deck. He’d been so busy with his duties, he hadn’t been able to speak to her all day. During the one break he’d had, she had gone below, no doubt to rest in her cabin. Now, spotting her at the railing, he shoved through the mob, pleased to hear the exclamations of excitement at the sight of their new home. It was beautiful indeed.
But even more beautiful was the sight of Eliza, her hair springing from her pins in the breeze and tumbling down her back over her small waist. He slid beside her and covered her hand with his.
“It’s exquisite, Blake.” Her eyes remained locked on the coast, just twenty yards from the brig. Water the color of aquamarine spread fans of ivory filigree on golden beaches that stretched for miles in either direction. A lush tropical jungle in every shade of green fringed the beach and grew taller as it receded on hills that ended in distant mountains capped with creamy clouds. To their left, a wide river reached emerald fingers laced in foam toward the sea.
Blake swallowed. “It is, isn’t it? I can’t believe we are finally here.” He drew her hand to his lips for a kiss then ran a finger over her cheek.
Still Eliza would not look his way.
Captain Barclay spit a string of orders to the crew to lower boats, open hatches, and prepare the blocks and tackles to hoist the cargo above deck. Passengers scrambled to get out of the way and go below for their things.
Still Eliza did not move.
“Are you all right?” Blake finally asked. He felt a quiver run through her, and he settled his arm over her shoulder drawing her near. “Something has frightened you.”
“Me?” She looked up at him then, her eyes red and puffy. “Frightened of a new adventure?” Her laugh faltered on her lips.
Taking her shoulders, Blake turned her to face him. “You’ve been crying. Did someone hurt you? Say something to you?”
She lowered her chin. “No. Nothing like that.”
“Then what?”
She brought her gaze back to his, her eyes flitting across his face, as if too frightened to land. Pain or perhaps sorrow weighed heavy on her features. Then she smiled, and her body seemed to relax. “I suppose I’m far too excited about our new life, that’s all. So much has happened.”
“You aren’t having second thoughts about us, are you?”
She caressed his jaw. “Never”
He drew her close and kissed her forehead, his fears abandoning him. Together, they faced the shore. “James has agreed to wed us on that very beach tomorrow.”
“He has?” She flinched as if this news surprised her, but then uttered a sigh that seemed to relieve her of some burden. “I can hardly believe it, Blake. I’m so happy. I pray nothing will ever separate us.” A shadow rolled across her face as she gazed up at him. “Tell me nothing will ever separate us.”
Confused, Blake brushed a lock of hair from her forehead. “What could ever do that?”
A breeze blew in from the shore, ripe with the sweet smell of life, tropical flowers, and hope. Blake smiled and stared into the jungle that would soon become their new home. Something shifted in the greenery. A shadow sped through the trees then disappeared. “What was that?”
“What?” Eliza followed his gaze.
“I thought I saw someone in the trees … a shadow.” Blake rubbed his eyes, but when he looked again, nothing but oversized vines and palm fronds met his gaze.
Eliza stared at the spot for a moment, seemingly deep in thought, but then she gave him a placating smile. “You are no doubt tired. As we all are.” She leaned her head on his shoulder. “Besides, this place is far too beautiful to harbor anything dangerous.”
Eliza couldn’t tell him. She simply couldn’t. She knew Blake t
oo well. It had taken him weeks, months, to forgive her for marrying a Yankee. He would never forgive her when he discovered that Yankee had murdered his brother. And for a pocket watch, no less.
Eliza clutched her skirts and stepped from the wobbling boat onto the shore. Sand squished beneath her shoes as waves caressed her stockinged legs. Holding her valise in one hand and her skirts in the other, she waded the short distance to the beach where passengers who had already arrived waited. Turning, she shielded her eyes from the sun and watched as Blake helped sailors hoist supplies from the hold using a series of pulleys strung over the yards.
Bare-chested, his back—now bronze from the sun—glistened in the bright light. Beside him, Moses, also bare-backed, and Hayden lowered smaller crates and barrels into the waiting boats. No, she couldn’t tell him. She wouldn’t. What good would it do? The past was the past. She couldn’t change it. Nor could she change what Stanton had done.
She glanced over the other colonists. Angeline, Stowy in her arms, assisted Sarah and Lydia into the shade of a banana tree. Magnolia, along with her parents, perched on a crate beneath a palm, the ever-present Mable fanning them all as best she could. Mr. Dodd’s excited gaze shifted from his map to the jungle then back to his map again. Children played tag with the incoming waves, while most of the men assisted in offloading crates and barrels from the incoming boats. Even Mr. Lewis, in his normal sponged condition, hefted a large sack onto his shoulder and hauled it ashore in an effort to help. Graves, however, stood off to the side smoking one of his cigars and staring at the jungle with a most peculiar look on his face. She’d meant to tell Blake about her conversation with the strange man, but the revelation about the pocket watch had pushed all other thoughts from her mind.
Slipping off her wet shoes, Eliza wandered down the beach, watching as her stockinged toes sank into the sand, wishing she could bury her past just as easily. Why, Lord? Why do you place this truth on me now? When I’ve finally found happiness? Oh what am I to do?
“You have to tell him.” Though Eliza had not spoken her prayer out loud, the answering voice was as audible as if God were standing right beside her. Heart seizing, she turned to see James looking at her like a schoolmaster with a pupil. Oh how she hated that look! She’d seen it enough on her father’s face to last a lifetime.
“What good would it do?” She swung about and continued walking.
He slid beside her. “It may do no good at all, but that doesn’t matter. It’s the right thing to do.”
“He will hate me.”
“Possibly.”
Eliza kicked a wave, sending foam into the air. “I could not bear it. Not again.”
James halted her with a touch, stuffed his hands into his pockets, and stared at her with that look again.
Shielding her eyes from the sun, she forced pleading into her tone as she met his gaze. “You won’t tell him, will you?”
“Not my place.”
“And you’ll still marry us?”
He nodded. “But you must do one thing for me in return.”
Eliza’s breath huddled in her throat.
“Pray,” James said. “Ask God what you should do, and then do it. If you do that, I’ll never say another word about it. I promise.”
Sounded simple enough. God wanted her to be happy, didn’t He? God was a God of mercy. Surely He wouldn’t punish her for something Stanton had done.
She barely had time to nod her agreement when Angeline, Sarah, Magnolia, and several other ladies descended on her with excited voices and giddy smiles, all agog with plans for her wedding.
As the ladies drew her away, Eliza cast one last glance over her shoulder at James, who gave her a nod. The praying she could do. The obeying she’d never been very good at.
“You did good work today, Moses.” Blake laid the final hewn log on the pile and turned to see the black man’s features in the darkness.
“Yessir. Thank you.” Moses wiped a cloth over his brow and stopped to catch his breath.
Blake did the same. They had worked side by side all day. First on the brig, hoisting goods into boats and then on land, chopping wood for fires. And Blake had learned one thing about the large Negro. Well, maybe two. He was a hard worker. He didn’t complain. And he was kind. Three then. Yet there was one thing that had troubled Blake all day, ever since Moses had taken off his shirt.
“Moses, the stripes on your back. Where did you get them?” The words had barely left Blake’s mouth before he silently chastised himself for his boldness.
But Moses seemed unaffected. “I don’t mind, sir.” The large man stretched his back. “Dem stripes are the compliment of my former master. Dat man loved his whip.” He chuckled.
Blake found nothing amusing about it. “You’re such a hard worker. I can’t imagine anyone ever being displeased with you.”
“He was displeased with everything, sir. Didn’t matter so much what any of us slaves did.”
“How did you get free from him?”
“We didn’t. After de war, he threatened to shoot any of us who tried to run away.” He kicked the sand, the first indication of any anger within him. “He shot my wife. My wife in God’s eyes, since they wouldn’t let us get married proper.”
Shock sped through Blake along with a sinking feeling that twisted his gut into a knot.
Moses lowered his gaze. “Shot ‘er right in de back.”
“I’m sorry.” Blake knew the words were meaningless, but he didn’t have any others to offer.
“I ran away after dat.” Moses lifted his gaze to the dark sky strewn with clusters of stars. “My wife be in glory now. An’ I forgive him.” He shrugged as if he were forgiving a slap on the face or the theft of a small object, not the stripes marring his back and the death of his wife.
Confusion ripped Blake’s reason to threads. “How can you do that? Forgive so easily?”
“Not up to me, sir. I ain’t de judge. That be God’s place. Besides, He’s forgiven us more than we deserve.”
Blake wanted to ask him what kind of judge allowed such injustice, but Captain Barclay marched toward him and slapped him on the back. “Excellent work today, Colonel!”
“Thank you, Captain.” Blake turned back to see Moses’ dark figure fading into the shadows.
“Are you sure you ain’t interested in becomin’ my first mate?” the captain continued. “You not only learned to handle a ship in two months better’n any seaman I seen, but you’ve organized this disorderly group into a civilized camp in a single afternoon. I could use a man like you.”
Blake glanced down the beach. Flickering light from two massive fires spread a glowing sphere over the sand and pushed back the encroaching shadows of the night. Around them colonists sat on logs and trunks, chattering excitedly about the days ahead. A massive tent for the ladies stood stark against the dark forest. The men would sleep on the sand. He’d already assigned three shifts of two watchmen to stand guard throughout the night.
“I appreciate the offer, Captain, but I believe I owe it to myself and these people to give this colony my best shot.”
“Well, if anyone can do it, you can.”
Hayden, cup in hand, slogged in the sand toward them, followed by James. “Captain, when do you set sail?” James asked.
Captain Barclay scratched his beard. “Was goin’ to leave tomorrow, but I believe I’ll stay for the weddin’ and festivities and leave the day after. My men could use a good party.”
At the mention of the wedding, Blake realized he hadn’t seen where had Eliza gone off to. He had left her after dinner over an hour ago. Now she was nowhere in sight.
James slapped a bug on his arm. “We will miss you, Captain. It’s been a pleasure sailing with you and your crew.”
“Agreed,” Hayden added with a quick nod. “Thank you for taking me on board.”
“You are a good worker, Hayden. We were glad to have you.” Captain Barclay gazed at the New Hope, nothing but a dark silhouette against a smoky horizon,
and chuckled. “Though ‘twas quite a voyage, I’d say. Ne’er had so much bad luck on one trip before.”
“But God saw us through,” James added with a smile.
Hayden grunted and sipped his drink.
“Indeed,” Captain Barclay said.
“What are our plans, Blake?” Hayden asked. “After the wedding, of course.” He winked.
Other than the wedding night? Blake couldn’t help but smile—and warm at the thought—but he quickly rubbed his mouth before the others noticed. “The emperor said the donkeys and wagons should be here in five or six days. We wait for them to show up and—”
A loud screech blared from the jungle, sounding half human, half beast. The hair on Blake’s arms stood at attention as all eyes shot toward the sound. The colonists grew silent. Blake peered into the dark maze so full of life that it undulated and billowed as if it were alive. “I was told there were no longer any natives here, but I thought I saw something earlier. A person.”
“Probably a trick o’ the sun is all.” Captain Barclay spat to the side. “An’ that there was probably just a monkey. For such tiny creatures, they sure make quite a clatter.”
Blake loosened his tie. That didn’t sound like any monkey he’d ever heard. But then again, he hadn’t heard that many monkeys in his lifetime. “After the donkeys arrive,” he continued, “we pack up and hack our way inland. The emperor told me there is some prime farming land just a mile or two upriver.”
James rubbed his hands together. “I can’t wait to get started.”
Hayden glanced toward the colonists around the fire, his eyes alighting on Angeline—or was it Magnolia?—Blake wasn’t sure.
“It will be hard on the ladies,” Hayden said. “Going through the jungle.”
James followed his gaze and frowned. “They survived a precarious sea journey. They will survive this.”
“What of the lady who tossed herself into the sea?” Captain Barclay asked.
“She seems quite recovered,” James said, his eyes, too, on Angeline.
Forsaken Dreams Page 32