by Shay Hunter
I moved away from her because I didn’t want Levine feeling comfortable enough to ask me a million more questions. Anyway she was supposed to be giving me instructions on what she needed Killer to sign for the business and instead she was grilling me about his health.
“Well do they know who did it?”
I looked at her and laughed. “No, Levine. The only thing he’s thinking about now is his health. After being shot I’m sure you can understand that.” I paused. “Or maybe you can’t since I know you never liked him anyway.”
“That’s not true!” She yelled, her funky breath slapping the side of my face. “And I really am sorry.”
“Well we haven’t heard from you so I can’t tell.”
“It took me so long to call because I was trying to make sure I gave you your space.” She paused. “Well…you tell Killer that he doesn’t have to worry about anything at Skeezers. Assure him that everything is going to be okay. He can take as much time as he needs.”
“Whatever, Levine…” When I saw Cupid walk past I called her name. She was thumbing on her phone as usual. “Hey, Cupid, come here for a second.”
Cupid stopped walking and moved toward the door. “Yeah?” She crossed her arms over her chest.
Levine’s eyes widened. “You’re still cool with her?” she whispered so that only I could hear what she was saying. “After what she did to you?”
I sighed. Her nosiness was exhausting. “Levine, please leave us alone. I have to kick it with her about something very important. Something that can’t wait.”
Her jaw dropped and she rolled her eyes. “Well excuse me for caring. That’s why nobody respects you bitches. You’re too fucking rude.”
“Bye, bye, Levine.” I waved in her face and she stormed out and Cupid stomped inside, her arms crossed over her chest even tighter. “Hey, Cupid. How have you been? It seems like we haven’t spoken since forever.”
“What do you want, Sprinkles?” She sighed.
I looked at her mood and laughed. “What I don’t get about you is this, you’re the one who fucked my man and yet you have the biggest attitude.” I smirked. “What’s wrong with this picture? I mean shouldn’t this be the other way around?”
She rolled her eyes. “I just don’t feel like the games these days that’s all.” She shrugged. “You don’t like me and I don’t like you so there ain’t no need in us faking anymore.”
Her face looked heavy and I knew something else was going on. When I glanced down at her body I knew exactly what it was. I pointed. “Bitch, you pregnant!” I laughed so hard I could barely contain myself. “You actually fucking with your money by toting a kid in your gut.”
She dropped her hands by her sides and then crossed them over her belly. “You don’t know what the fuck you talking about. We not close anymore so stay out of my business and I’ll stay out of yours.”
“Does that include you staying off my man?”
“If your man can stay out of me.”
I laughed.
The pain she felt from losing me as a friend was all over her face and I loved every minute of it. “You must miss me.”
“Sprinkles, what do you want?” She yelled.
“For starters I want to say congratulations.”
“On what?”
“Chick, I know a pregnant bitch when I see one. You know how long I been working at clubs? Do you know how many chicks I see trying to push down a baby as long at they could while they make a little extra change?”
She rolled her eyes. “What I want to know is why the fuck I’m in your dressing room? In any minute I’m about to walk out on your smug ass.”
“Well I called you in here to let you know your precious boyfriend Killer is alive so you can relax. Since you called him a million times. I saw your number flashing up on his phone. But now…well now I want to talk about the bigger problems you got.”
“Sprinkles, please make it light on the games and more on the information.” She said clapping her hands together. “I have a set in a few minutes.”
“That can wait. I’m going to tell you how your life is about to go down. You’re going to get an abortion because you have to. And you know why? Guilt won’t allow you to bring a child into the world with the condition you have. Especially since you got that way by being a scandalous hoe.”
She frowned and dropped her arms by her sides. “Got that way? What you talking about?”
“If you pregnant it means you got that way because you fucked my nigga raw. And if you did fuck him raw it means you got HIV. All I can say is welcome to my world. Or…welcome to our world.”
I could see her body trembling and I loved it. “What do you mean welcome to our world? I…I…don’t…”
I laughed harder because I never thought she would fuck him raw and I never thought Killer would allow himself to get her pregnant. He was a cheater but he was always safe. He was horny but he wasn’t about passing the disease to anybody. But here she was, pregnant and infected and even though she didn’t admit it I could see it in her eyes.
“I mean that you have HIV. I mean that your world is changed and I mean that you have everything happening to you that you deserve.”
Tears rolled down her face. “How could you do this to me? We may have gone through problems but I would never do this to you! Ever! I would never hurt you like this! We were friends!”
“Do what to you, Cupid? You betrayed my trust and now I’m supposed to feel sorry for your status? Girl, bye! Do you even hear yourself talking? Because if you did you wouldn’t be coming at me like this. You would know that I didn’t do anything to you that you didn’t do to yourself. I wasn’t in the room fucking your nigga behind your back. I wasn’t—”
“SHUT THE FUCK UP!” She screamed slapping the sides of her face. “JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!”
Levine walked into the dressing room and stood in the doorway like she was our mother. “What’s going on in here now? Because I’m not about to deal with the fighting between you two again. This is a club and if it happens—”
“Bitch, get your crack addicted ass out of my dressing room before I slice you!” I yelled. I was sick of her pretending to have authority when it was the furthest thing from the truth.
“Fuck both of you bitches!” Levine blinked a few times, rolled her eyes and walked out.
“So he gave you HIV and you knew he was going to give it to me?” She was breathing heavily and her fists were clenched into tight knots.
I laughed. “No, Cupid, it didn’t go down that way. My father raped me as a kid and gave it to me and I infected Killer.” I grinned. “So what you’re going through now is courtesy of me. You should say thank you.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
CUPID
It took him a week to get in touch with me and finally he was on his way over my house. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to even see him.
I hadn’t eaten or slept and I missed two abortion appointments because I couldn’t make it out of bed. My body didn’t cooperate with my mind and I felt stuck. If this is what depression felt like I finally understood suicide. I didn’t want to go on but I didn’t have a choice either.
Things had to get better but how?
More importantly, when?
The moment Killer walked in, using a cane to make his way inside, he looked around. “Where’s Bryson?” He asked as he approached my bathroom in the back of the apartment. “And don’t tell me the nigga ain’t been here because I know he has.”
“Bryson?” I asked in a low voice like I was confused. I didn’t have the energy to fight him. “What you talking about now?”
He locked the door and walked up to me. He lost some weight but his eyes told me he was still way stronger than I was. And if it was true that he was HIV positive I hated him for it. “I know you been fucking him, Cupid. The nigga told me himself over the phone so ain’t no need in you lying.”
I walked over to the couch and flopped down. Still weak in my mind and body. I threw
my face in my hands and sighed. I don’t know how this turned around on me but I didn’t consider that part of the equation. Did I infect Bryson too? “Yes I got with him for a minute, Killer. But it was because I—”
“I don’t give a fuck about who you fucking, slut. I don’t even care if you been with the nigga from jump. The only thing I want to know is where he at now.”
I looked up at him. “Killer, I don’t know what you heard but it was never like that between us. I got with him on Christmas and from that moment on he’s been blackmailing me for sex. Other than that I don’t know nothing about where he is. He only comes over here when he wants pussy. Nothing else.”
Now he looked jealous. “So you really fucked a nigga who was supposed to be my friend, huh? You really played yourself that low? I knew I shouldn’t have trusted you.”
“I was lonely, Killer. I wanted to be with somebody and he was there. It may be wrong but its how I felt at the time. But that’s not what I wanted to talk to you about.”
“I should've never fucked with you. I should’ve never gave you the time of day. Sprinkles told me you couldn’t be trusted but I figured whatever beef you two had was bitch related and didn’t concern me. Didn’t think you would do it to me. And look at how you playing yourself.”
I couldn’t believe he was standing in front of me giving me the third degree. Especially since he was the one who was cheating right along with me. “You’re wrong, Killer.” So many tears streamed from my eyes I could barely see him. “You ruined my life and you were in the wrong.”
“The only thing I was wrong about was cheating on Catalina with a slut. She may have her shit with her but she’s always faithful. She know a real nigga when she sees one but you…you’re nothing but trash. The type of bitch you meet in the club and leave there.” He shook his head. “I was wrong for wasting time on you but I’m not gonna do that again.”
“You think she’s so precious don’t you?” I was sick of him acting like she was God. “You think she can’t do anything wrong? Is that what you really believe?” I yelled.
He moaned a little, touched his stomach and pulled out a pill bottle from his other pocket. He walked over to the sink, grabbed a dirty cup and poured sink water inside. Then he tossed a pill into his mouth, drank the water and sat at the dining room table.
Fat bastard!
He looked wiped out and I never thought I would see him like this. I made the vision of him I wanted to see and now that I was seeing him for the man he really is I realized I didn’t want him or even like him.
Or was I telling myself another lie.
“It was Catalina…” I whispered. “Your precious golden girl. The bitch that you bought a new car. The bitch that you spoiled rotten. She was responsible.”
He placed the cane on the table and sighed like he was out of breath, before touching his belly again. I figured it was the place the bullet entered his body. “What are you talking about?”
“I’m talking about Scholar having to go back to prison.” I paused to let it sink in. “It was Catalina. She wanted to make sure that she controlled you and the best way to do that was to get your brother out of the picture. It worked because your mind been fucked up ever since.”
He laughed. “So I come at you about being the worthless whore that you are and you lie on Sprinkles?” He chuckled harder. “Because she didn’t have anything to do with you fucking one of my comrades. Which I’m gonna get at later.” He pointed. “And just so you know I came here looking for him because I believe he had something to do with trying to kill me over these past few months. The nigga’s always been mad over pussy so that’s probably his reason. But he’s not gonna be walking around for too much longer I promise you that.”
“I don’t know about any of that, Killer. What I’m saying is this…Sprinkles…Catalina, was the reason why Scholar went back to prison. She was afraid you would get into trouble again and so she called his parole officer about him hanging with her. Knowing that they were looking for any reason to shoot him back. Especially since they didn’t want him home anyway.”
He stood up. “Do you realize what you’re saying?”
I nodded. “I wouldn’t say it if it wasn’t true. And I know you believe me. It’s all in your eyes.”
Before I knew it he was on top of me, his beefy hands around my throat. I was hitting him in the face as my body sunk deeper into the couch because all of his weight was on top of me. I tried to scratch at his face and eyes but it didn’t stop him. He wanted me dead. He snapped and I knew I was about to die.
“Stupid, lying bitch!” he said as he squeezed my neck harder. “All ya’ll ever did was ruin my life! I’m so sick of you bitches! I’m sick of treating you better than you deserve! I’m going to kill you! I’m gonna take you out!”
My arms suddenly felt heavy and I could no longer use them to defend myself. I tried to plead with my eyes for him to stop but suddenly everything seemed light. I realized then that I wasn’t ready to die so I pointed at my cell phone. He looked at it but continued to choke me until I pointed again.
Finally he released me and sat on the couch next to me. “You’re not worth it,” he said. His breaths were heavy and he looked like he had run the entire block. And when I gazed at his stomach I could see he was bleeding. He probably popped his stitches.
I rolled off the couch, coughed a few times and rubbed my throat. When I was breathing a little better I picked up my phone, scrolled through my voice notes and hit play. I don’t know why but whenever people talk to me about serious things I recorded the conversation. It’s a habit that I picked up a long time ago.
And I’m glad I did.
When I hit play I saw his eyes widen as he heard Sprinkles’ voice.
“I’m the one who called the parole office on Scholar. I let them know that he was hanging in the company of felons, which is against his parole. And yes that felon was me,” Sprinkles said. “Put your tongue back in your mouth before I put Orange Pop’s tampon on it.”
“You’re fucking lying!” I said.
“I’m not lying!” She yelled. “I did it because I knew if he was home Killer would get in trouble with him. So I snitched to keep my nigga home. I snitched because I got to protect our relationship and I’d do it again.”
I looked over at Killer when the message stopped and rubbed my throbbing throat. “There’s one more message. I recorded this one today, at Skeezers. It’s me and Kitten talking in the dressing room.” I hit play.
“I know a secret, Cupid. And if you want to know it too it’ll cost you.”
“I’m not paying you for no more information, Kitten.”
“I promise it will be worth it.”
There was a pause because I handed her the money.
“Only ten bucks?” Kitten asked.
“It’s all I got now do you want it or not?”
“Yeah…I guess. Although I don’t understand how you a stripper and broke at the same time.” She paused. “Well I overheard Sprinkles talking to Levine about murdering her boyfriend tonight. They’re going to try again since the other attempt was unsuccessful.”
“Wait, so Sprinkles was involved in trying to kill Killer from the beginning?”
“No…I…well…Marvin was. But he not no killer so he didn’t do a good job. Now Sprinkles putting her on to someone else. A real hit man. Not sure what he did to make her so mad but I’ll be surprised if he lives through the end of this week.”
I looked over at Killer and stopped the recording. “Why would she do some shit like this?”
“Because I’m pregnant, Killer. And I have HIV. And she knows all about it.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
KILLER
Sprinkles rushed into Skeezers after receiving a message from Killer that the place was vandalized. Since all of her costumes and tons of her favorite makeup was inside she wanted to assess the damage. But the moment she stepped inside and saw how dark it was she knew something was wrong.
There was no light anywhere accept the stage where he sat…waiting.
“Killer?” She said with raised eyebrows. “What’s going on? You a dancer now?” She tried to joke because something felt off in her spirit. “If so I gotta be honest…you should hit the gym first.”
“Nah…I’m gonna leave that to you, sexy.” He pointed at the table and chair where her customers normally rested as she performed. “Come over here and sit down. I want to rap to you right quick.”
“Can you tell me what the—”
“Just sit the fuck down, Catalina!” he yelled. “Please, baby, don’t make me tell you again.” He took a deep breath and lowered his voice. “Take a seat.”
She trudged toward the table, placed her Louis Vuitton on top of it and looked up at him. Her stomach juices swirled and her forehead was clammy. Nothing about the situation felt right. “Can you tell me what’s happening now, Killer? I have a hair appointment in an hour.”
“Don’t know why...you pretty enough.” He paused. “First I want to apologize for all of the shit I did to you. All of the shit I put you through because you didn’t deserve any of it. I know I should’ve hit you with this before but I let situations and circumstances come in between our bond. And we were better than that. We always were.”
“It’s okay, Jameson. I mean we’ve moved past so many—”
He raised is hand again. “Let me finish.” He dropped it. “I know you hurting about me cheating and fucking bitches you know. It was foul and I could’ve done better.” He placed his hand over his heart. “We’ve been together forever but pussy has always been a weakness and I know I gotta change. I think part of me…well…part of me wanted to get you back for what you did and that was wrong. I should’ve been man enough to come at you the right way.”
She exhaled. “So you never forgave me? For infecting you?”
“I don’t know if that’s even possible to forgive. I don’t know if you can move past some shit like that you know? You have it and you deal with it but maybe part of me was bitter.” He nodded. “I may have been a dog but I always stood by your side. I may not have been faithful but I always had your back. It’s why I wanted you in my life despite what you did.”