by May, Nicola
‘You’re a single girl, in her mid-thirties,’ Fi said stoutly. ‘And Harry doesn’t count anyway because he was a bastard.’
Ruby laughed. ‘How are you anyway?’
‘So much better. I’m over the three-month mark now and the sickness is definitely waning. Look, here’s the scan.’
‘Aw, bless. I want one!’
‘Let’s get you in a stable relationship first, shall we. And look, if that’s not a boy, then I am Mother Fecking Teresa. That’s got to be his willy.’ Fi pointed to the grainy scan picture.
Ruby laughed out loud. ‘Hilarious, he’s Simon’s boy for sure. You’re not supposed to see it until twenty weeks either, are you?’
‘No, and he’s three centimetres bigger than the average baby already. He’s going to be a monster. It’ll be like shitting a football.’
Ruby screwed her face up. ‘You are so vile.’
‘Any word from Michael?’
‘No, why would there be?’
‘I still don’t think he’d go back to her after what you said.’
‘I do. Men are strange. They don’t like being on their own and I really do think some of them compromise because of this fact. There is no doubt she’s a very pretty girl and she’s got youth on her side.’
‘She’s not that young and I bet she’s shit in bed. Probably doesn’t like to mess her hair up or her vajazzle.’
‘Vajazzle? What eez that?’
‘Norbert, you really don’t want to know.’
‘Girl talk. I see. Would you like some more drinks and cakes on the house from my angel.’ Norbert glided back to the counter and Daphne got their order ready.
‘I would, you know,’ whispered Fi.
‘What - Norbert?’
‘Yeah, too right.’
‘Fi, I think you need to marry James and get this baby out of you before you even have one unchaste thought about another man.’
‘Darling Rubes, the day I stop having unchaste thoughts about men is the day I die. Anyway spill, what about you and Nick then? Are you seeing him again?’
‘We’re just friends.’
‘What’s his cock like?’
Ruby shook her head in mock disbelief. ‘He kept his jeans on.’ Then, smugly: ‘But I could tell that he’s hung like a horse – or should I say fireman’s hose.’
– Chapter Sixty-Seven –
Rita Stevens whistled as she walked down the churchyard path. She stopped first at her husband’s grave and tidied the flowers she had arranged in the vase just yesterday. It was her little boy’s turn today. As spring had well and truly sprung it was time for one thing - to put the daffodils on his grave that she had lovingly grown herself. The idea was to actually plant them this year so every year there would be an abundance of the bright yellow, cheery flowers.
Oh, how excited George used to get when he told her about the amazing times he had at Daffodils, Ruby’s idyllic inherited cottage in the Lakes. His love for Ruby had been so great that when he found out at his own wedding that his wife-to-be, Candice, had been after him for his money, he literally flew up to the Lakes, wedding suit still on, to convey how he really did feel and how sorry he was. It had been a real love story, that Rita would proudly tell to anyone who would listen.
She got to the grave and screwed up her face. Who had put a bouquet on there? She hated it when the flowers died and just the old wrapper was left. It looked so forlorn and untidy. She knew it couldn’t have been Ruby as the girl hated that too.
Rita shook the water off the plastic and took it with the dead flowers up to the rubbish bin to the side of the graves. Filling a watering can, she wandered back down to commence the planting.
Just as she was about to start digging a hole, she saw something glint against the sun and leaned forward to get a better look. When she realised what it was, a tear slowly rolled down her cheek. ‘Aw,’ she said aloud. ‘Bless her heart, look what young Ruby ’as done.’
She remembered the day George had come running into her kitchen asking her if she knew any good engravers. He wanted to get the job turned around in a day, so that whilst Ruby was out he could slip the ring back in his box and it would be a surprise for her on their wedding day: to see engraved inside the words Rubes & George forever X.
She was surprised that Ruby had wanted it away from her, but guessed it brought her closer to her husband if it was on the grave. Rita wondered why on earth she hadn’t put it in the actual coffin, but she knew only too well that grief was an insurmountable hurdle and you didn’t think rationally during the first stages of loss.
It was such a private thing she wouldn’t mention it; she would just make sure that the ring wouldn’t be disturbed again. So when the daffodils were proudly singing their bright song on top of George, the grieving mother carefully placed the ring just under the top layer of earth so that nobody ever need find it. The two of them could be together again in their own private Daffodils now.
Rita finished what she was doing and packed her garden tools back in the carrier bag she had brought them in. Sitting for a quick rest on the bench near to George, she suddenly felt a peace she had not experienced for quite some time.
After wondering and questioning for twenty-nine and a half years, she could now let it all go. For at last, she knew that her other son was happy and successful.
A white feather floated down, gently rested on her cheek and then with a slight puff of breeze, drifted back up into the sky.
Both her beautiful twin boys had gone forever, but her memories of them, however fleeting, would never fade.
– Chapter Sixty-Eight –
‘Rubes, is that you?’ Laura Matthews called out from the kitchen as she heard the front door open.
‘Yeah, hi, Mum. How’s it going?’
‘All the better for seeing my favourite daughter.’ The woman wiped her hands on a tea-towel and kissed Ruby on the cheek.
‘It’s great to see you, darling.’
‘Well, the offer of a Sunday lunch with you and the bro couldn’t be resisted. Where’s Graham anyway?’
‘He’s training today.’
Ruby thought back to all those years ago when Graham, who trained guide dogs, had met their mother and fallen in love with her. Sam had, in fact, brought them together in essence. He always knew what was right, that boy.
She heard Ben let off a little bark of approval as he recognised the smell of the Matthews’ house, or more likely the scent of roast beef in the air.
Sam appeared in the kitchen and smiled at them both broadly. ‘Don’t tell me, Rubes, it’s that Prada I love on you. D’Iris, it’s called, isn’t it?’
‘How do you know Mum is not wearing it?’
‘Because I’ve told you before that although I know the fragrances, when they are mixed with a woman’s own smell, they are distinctively different.’
‘You’re such a show off.’ Ruby pushed the back of her hand against his cheek. It had always been the way she greeted him, somehow seeming more meaningful than a kiss on the cheek.
‘I hate to admit it, sis, but I’ve missed you. Ages since I saw you.’
‘Gosh, you are getting all grown up, aren’t you, the pair of you,’ Laura mocked. ‘Being nice to each other and everything.’
They sat down at the familiar round dining table and tucked into the scrumptious roast in front of them, Ruby secretly feeding Ben bits of beef under the table and getting scolded by Sam. She sometimes wondered if he really was blind!
‘So, did you get it together with Mr Smooth?’ Ruby knew it would only be a matter of time before she got a grilling from her sibling.
‘Er, no. I don’t want to talk about him.’
‘What’s the matter, Rubes? You can tell us, we’re family.’
‘There’s nothing to tell.’ She took a sip of wine and let out a deep breath. She felt like she was going to cry. Sam gently rested his hand on her thigh.
‘It’s all right, sis.’
‘No, it’s not reall
y, Sam.’
She burst into tears, and Laura Matthews ran around to her and hugged her from behind, saying, ‘Oh darling, don’t cry.’
‘I promised Rita I wouldn’t tell anyone.’
‘Ruby, telling this family is like a confession to the Pope - you know that. We stick together. Just these walls, Sam and Ben will be the only people to know.’
‘Well, and Margaret.’
‘But she’s in effect family so that’s all right. Now what is it, love?’
Ruby held her mum’s hand loosely as she sat back down next to her.
‘George had a twin brother.’
‘Fucking hell!’
‘Language, Sam!’ Laura shouted.
‘Yes, I know - unbelievable and so sad. Anyway, to cut a long story short, Rita and Alfie didn’t think they’d cope with twins so had Harry, that’s the brother’s name, adopted. He tracked me down after George died in the hope he could get some money out of me.’
‘Shit, that’s terrible.’ Laura took a large gulp of water.
‘It gets worse,’ Ruby carried on. ‘I fell for him and slept with him.’
‘Ruby!’
‘It’s OK, Mum. He’s gone forever now. He didn’t realise he’d have feelings for me too and he’s married. Luckily he’s got a job overseas, will be long gone now.’
‘And what does poor Rita think about that?’ Sam butted in.
‘She never met him, said she didn’t want to, was too ashamed. I told her what a lovely man he was and how successful. It seemed to give her a sense of peace which I’m so pleased about or she never ever would have forgiven herself.’
‘That poor woman,’ Laura had tears in her eyes. ‘Losing two of her boys – well, three actually with Alfie going too. Inconceivable.’
‘She’s a tough old bird.’ Ruby felt better for getting it off her chest. ‘So, that’s it really. He looked so like George. It made my heart literally hurt.’
‘But he so obviously wasn’t George.’ Sam squeezed her arm. ‘I met him, I knew he wasn’t a good person. I’m glad he’s gone. I think by the sound of him it’s Michael who is so right for you.’
‘And here lies another story. I did listen to you, bro. He treated me so beautifully, understood about my loss to a degree. So I went to him, again as you said I should. And, then I saw him with his ex and their dog outside the flat, kissing.’
‘Oh no! You have been through it, love.’ Laura topped up her daughter’s wine glass.
‘Maybe you need a bit of time out - can you afford to take time off from work? You haven’t been to Daffodils for a while. That might do you good. Clear your head of these awful men.’
Her brother never let up. ‘Have you spoken to Michael about what you saw?’
‘Of course I haven’t, Sam. I know what I saw and he also accused me of George being alive because he saw me with Harry. I mean, how much of an insult is that?’
‘Gosh.’ Laura went to the kitchen to check on the dessert. Ruby thought if she was to now tell her about Nick, she would be more than ‘gosh’-ing.
‘I think you should talk to him, tell him how you feel.’
‘Sam, shut up now, please. Too much has happened; if we were meant to be together, it would have happened by now. I always think if it feels right with no difficulties then it is right. There have just been too many obstacles.’
‘The course of true love never did run smooth, Ruby, and don’t tell me to shut up, because you know I’m right and the only obstacle I can see is you!’
‘Children, children.’ Laura brought in a steaming apple crumble. ‘Come on, I don’t see you both much. Honestly, think about some time out, Ruby, love. You’ve been through the mill and back by the sound of it.’
‘Yeah, sorry, sis. It’s great to see you getting on with it again, whatever the outcome. I only shout because I love you.’
‘And me you, you little shit.’ She gently pressed the back of her hand into her brother’s cheek and tucked into her pudding.
– Chapter Sixty-Nine –
Barney let out a grunt at the side of the bed, stirring Michael from his restless slumber. A one-bed flat was obviously not ideal for a pet but it was good to have the comforting company of an animal. And the exercise of walking a dog could only be a positive.
Michael rubbed his eyes and yawned. He glanced at his alarm clock: 8 a.m.
‘All right, old boy. I guess we’d best get you outside.’
He rolled out of bed and pulled on his tracksuit bottoms. He was relieved it was Saturday. He had submitted all his freelance copy to Rural Writers’, so he could go for a run along the river without worry and then come back to write some more of his novel.
He had found it hard to get back into it after his row with Ruby. Seeing Emily had completely thrown him.
Love was such a funny business. You would be so into a person, would know them mind, body and soul. Then: where and how does it all go wrong? How do the roses and sunbeams turn into dandelions and storms? The quirky little twitch of her nose, once so sweet, becomes an annoying habit; the pet name she calls you becomes repulsive, and sex is a chore rather than a treat.
Barney barked his approval as his new, much more attentive owner grabbed his lead from the kitchen. They took the lift down to the ground floor and Michael was relieved to find a sunny June day in front of him.
He was really into his running now. It allowed him to think deeply, without interruption. He had come to some of his best plot ideas this way, plus it completely relaxed him.
In a way, seeing Emily had been a very good thing. Yes, she was sexy, there had never been a doubt about that. But, although the shell was perfect, inside she was a bad egg. A selfish, petulant woman. It had taken him to his thirties to realise that kindness counted for so much in a relationship. The little things mattered. The odd cup of tea in bed, finding your socks on the radiator on a cold morning. Opening the fridge to your favourite tipple after a hard week at work. Emily would never have thought of any of those things.
He reached Putney and started to follow the river along. Every time he got here he hoped that he might find Ruby power-walking around her favourite park, but to date he had never seen her. It was eight-thirty now: would she be up, he wondered. Should he just go and knock on her door and put things right over a cup of tea? No, it would take more than that. He had lost her for sure. She had been so angry when he had accused whoever that other man was of being George. And she had every right to be angry. But, then again he had seen her kissing him. And, if she had really wanted him, then she wouldn’t have seen anyone else surely…
Just then, a pretty red-head jogged past him and smiled.
How he missed Ruby. Her quirkiness, her sense of fun. The way she could talk with those bright green eyes of hers. Those amazing nipples! He had seen love in those eyes, he was sure. He had also seen the incredible sadness that death of a loved one brings. Yes, she was independent, but also vulnerable. Like everyone was in a way.
He stopped as Barney decided to do a pooh in the most open part of the path and then cursed that he had forgotten his pooh bags. He couldn’t leave it. He saw a woman walking towards him with a black dog.
‘This is very embarrassing, but could I trouble you for a pooh bag?’
‘I’ve been asked for a few things in my time.’ She laughed, then stared at Michael’s face. ‘Don’t I know you from somewhere?’
‘Um, I don’t think so.’ Michael clocked her voluptuous chest and smiley eyes and then cringed as he recalled that she had been at The Bow Wow Club on that awful day when he had rowed openly with Ruby.
‘Ah, I remember. You’re Michael - Ruby’s Michael.’
He reddened.
‘I miss young Ruby. I must look her up soon. Have you made it up with her yet?’
‘Um. I… er…’
‘She used to talk so highly of you. We all make mistakes, you know.’ She put her hand on his arm. ‘It’s hard to date someone who’s been through a bereavement. But me and J
immy? Well, all I can say is, he was just waiting for the love of a good woman.’ She laughed. ‘You have to try and gently fill the holes in their hearts that were blown open by grief.’
Cali handed Michael a green plastic bag. ‘Shit happens. Clean things up with her if you haven’t already. I truly believe you have something there.’ Fanny the wonder dog barked loudly. ‘Right, I’d better get her ladyship home.’
‘Thanks,’ Michael said warmly. ‘For everything.’
When he had dealt with Barney’s offering, he started to run, the dog beside him with his tail wagging madly. Maybe there was a chance. He thought back to his novel: now how should he finish it? He knew what the perfect happy ending should be - it was just a case of getting there.
– Chapter Seventy –
‘Ruby!’ Simon opened his long arms and embraced her warmly. ‘I’ve missed you, we’ve missed you.’
‘It’s only been two bloody weeks. I know it’s not very charitable, but I just couldn’t face it.’
‘Wanna talk about it?’ Simon asked casually.
‘Michael again.’
‘Oh.’
‘Yes, oh. And, no, I don’t really want to talk about it, to be honest. It’s not meant to be and that’s it. He’s obviously jumped back into bed with the ex. Saw them together and dog.’
‘Dear, dear. That’s not good. Have you spoken to him since?’
‘God, no. Oops sorry. Gosh, no.’ Simon laughed. ‘It’s fine honestly, Simon. I’m going to help out here, concentrate on my work and just have a bit of fun for now. Maybe it is too soon still after George. He is a hard act to follow.’
‘All I can say is, follow your heart Rubes.’
‘You’re a fine one to say that.’
‘Hmm, I know. However, between you, me and Him upstairs,’ he pointed to the Seek & Ye Shall Find picture at the back of the room, ‘I’ve met someone.’
‘That’s brilliant, Si, what’s his name?’
‘Derek - he’s a carpenter.’
‘Good with his hands then?’ Ruby smirked.
‘Darling, he’s good with everything.’