by CeeCee James
After finding the pants, the two sisters rifled through racks of shirts. Every one Miranda pulled out, Cassie wrinkled her nose and shook her head.
“I give up!” Miranda threw her hands in the air.
“Don’t feel bad. You’re just not into my style.” Cassie said, holding a pink off-the-shoulder shirt up to her chest. “I like this one.”
Miranda’s hand flew up to her mouth. “Kind of low cut? Huh?”
Cassie rolled her eyes. “Don’t worry, Mom.”
“Whatever, Cassie. I’ll always worry about you.”
“It’s okay, I get it. You can’t help your nagging ways.”
Miranda groaned. “Get your shirt and let’s get out of here. I’m hungry.”
* * *
Miranda paid for the clothing, and Cassie scooped up the bags.
“Thanks, Sis.” She flashed a grin at Miranda. “That was fun.”
“What will be more fun is if we can get a table at the Cheesecake Factory. I’m starving.”
“I like the way you think.”
They meandered out of the store. Cassie froze for a second, and Miranda glanced to see what was wrong. Across from them was a display of baby clothes. Cassie swallowed, and looked up at her sister with pain-stricken eyes. Miranda wrapped her arm around her sister’s shoulders, giving her a soft squeeze, and led her out.
They wandered down to the other end of the mall. In an attempt to cheer her up, Miranda pointed out a cellphone cover that said, “I love my nose job,” at a kiosk. “I should get one just so people would say how natural my nose looks.”
“Or they might say the doctor really botched your job, and have you considered suing?” Cassie countered, a hint of amusement in her eyes.
“What are you talking about? You have the same nose.”
By the time they arrived at the Cheesecake Factory, Cassie was smiling again. The restaurant was crowded but the hostess was able find them a booth.
“So,” Miranda asked, after the waiter took their order. “How are you doing?”
“What do you mean? You see me every day.”
“I know, but back there…I mean, how are you really doing?”
Cassie pursed her lips and rested her chin in her hand. She blinked dark eyelashes, thick and full without the need for makeup. “I still can’t believe Leif is in the army. I miss him.”
Miranda nodded. “Yeah, I get it. I bet you do. Have you heard from him recently?”
Cassie shook her head. “Nothing since he’s been sent to Afghanistan. I know it’s good for us though,” she murmured as if to convince herself. “He finally has his career he’s always dreamed of. And I can go to school. ”
They both glanced up as the waiter returned with their bread and salad.
“I know, but it can’t be easy.” Miranda picked at her lettuce.
Cassie bit her bottom lip, her pain and tension visible in the lines of her face. “Oh man, I messed up,” she confessed, looking at Miranda. Her eyes magnified with unshed tears. “He asked me if I thought he should do it. Life was so crazy. We were constantly fighting. I figured maybe we needed some space, so I said yes. I feel like I made the biggest mistake of my life! What was I even thinking?”
“Shh,” Miranda said. She scooted around to her sister’s side of the booth and pulled Cassie into a hug. “If it’s meant to be, a little space isn’t going to stop it. You two have been through so much in the last year. I can understand why you thought maybe some time apart would be good. It was probably hard to sort out how much of your relationship was built around the baby and the accident, and how much was love.”
Cassie sobbed on her shoulder. “I’m an idiot, I need him.”
“It’s okay to miss him, Cassie. He was and is a big part of your life. But he’s not gone for good. This will give him some time to figure things out.”
Miranda smoothed her sister’s hair back from her face. “It’s going to be good for you, too. You’ll see. You both need a little time.”
Cassie swiped her fingers beneath her eyelid. “What if it doesn’t work out? What if I just lost the best thing that’s ever happened to me?”
“I promise you haven’t. If the love is there, it will stay there. People have long distance relationships all the time.”
Cassie nodded. “All of this seemed so clear at the time. It felt like the right decision for him to make, but now that it’s happened I hate it.”
“Maybe you just feel trapped because it feels irreversible. But you guys are going to be okay and even stronger on the other side of this.”
“I hope so, Miranda.”
“You will be, you’ll see. You’re only eighteen still, and so is he. You both still have some growing, and healing to do. And I’ll be here to help. I’ve got your back.”
“Yeah, I know you do. I’m just so lonely.” Cassie’s bottom lip trembled.
“You aren’t alone, Chickee.”
“That’s easy for you to say. You have Jason.”
Miranda studied her sister for a moment and continued. “I know it feels like I don’t understand, but think about what Jason and I went through to finally be together. It wasn’t easy. In fact, it was a nightmare. But we needed time too. Take it from me. I know what I’m talking about. After all, I’ll be twenty-three in a week. I’m an old lady compared to you.”
Cassie laughed. “Well, don’t be getting all senile on me. I’m going to need you for a long time.”
3
Summer
After a long afternoon of shopping, Miranda breathed a sigh of relief as she parked the Jeep in their driveway. The two sisters, along with Jason, had inherited the place from their adopted Uncle Stew after he died several years earlier. The house had been their refuge and security after being homeless as kids. Miranda took in a deep breath of contentment as she stared out into the lake. It cemented them as a family, and still made Miranda feel secure today.
She glanced over by the barn. The beat-up Chevy truck was gone, but Jason had mentioned earlier that he was going fishing.
Miranda cast an anxious eye over at Cassie, her head resting against the seat. She looked pale. It was no wonder she wasn’t feeling well. It hadn’t been that long since her car accident.
“I didn’t tire you out at the mall today, did I?” Miranda asked.
“No.” Cassie raised her arms and stretched. “I’m fine.” She slowly climbed out, whistling for the dog. Miranda rounded the Jeep to the hatch and grabbed the bags.
Archer didn’t show up with his tail wagging in greeting as they walked up the porch steps. “Jason must have taken him along,” Miranda said as she juggled the bags to get her house key out. She tripped over her muddy hiking boots as she opened the door, and fell inside. “Lovely, just as graceful as ever,” she muttered.
Cassie gave a weak grin and started up the stairs. “On second thought, I think I’m going to lie down for a bit.”
“Okay, sure.” Miranda’s hand hovered by Cassie’s elbow as she followed her into her room. “Go slow.”
“Good grief. I’m fine!” Cassie laughed. “I’m just a bit tired. Think I’m starting my period.”
“Oh. Want a heating pad?” Miranda said and dropped the clothing bags by the doorway.
Cassie shook her head.
Miranda started to pull the door closed, and then hesitated. Glancing back she asked, “Is this hard? I mean.…” she paused, not knowing how to continue.
“Is what hard?”
“Not being…. pregnant?”
Cassie lowered herself onto the edge of the bed and stared out the window. She touched her stomach briefly before resting her hands in her lap. “Yes. I’ve felt empty inside since the miscarriage.” She looked at Miranda, her eyes brimming with tears. “That’s going to take some time to get over, I think.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. I mean, it’s not. But this isn’t your fault. It would have been hard. I mean, I can’t even imagine being a single mom with Leif in the
army. But, then again, if the baby had lived, maybe Leif wouldn’t have gone. Our lives would have been very different.”
Miranda bit her lip, her heart aching at her sister’s pain. And it crushed her that there was nothing she could do to fix it.
“Well, that’s water under the bridge. No way to know now.” Cassie straightened her back. “It’s a confusing soup of emotions.”
“I’m always here for you if you want to talk. Any time. And if I say the wrong thing, let me know.”
“Thanks, Sis. I do think about the baby every day.” A sad smile flitted across Cassie’s face. “Maybe Mom and Dad are taking care of him right now.”
“And Poppy.”
Cassie smiled at the name of her childhood dog. “Yes, Poppy.”
“I love you, Chickee.”
“I love you, too.” Cassie peeled back the quilt and climbed into her bed. As she pulled the covers over the top of her, Miranda shut the door.
An afternoon storm was rolling in, and the light downstairs in the living room had gone grey. The pattering sound of rain was quashed by a distant boom of thunder.
Miranda snapped on the kitchen overhead light. “Feels like cookie-making weather,” she said to herself. She pulled out flour, oil and chocolate chips and then headed to the fridge for eggs. After gathering a few more things, she dumped everything into the mixer and flipped it on.
The rain splashed off the driveway in a cozy way and drummed on the porch roof. She spooned the dough on the cookie sheets and slid them into the oven. “I’m not forgetting the timer this time,” she reminded herself. Poor Jason had hated those hard-as-rock cookies. But these were going to be different.
She gave the mixing bowls a quick wash and placed them on a towel to dry.
The front door slammed open. Miranda jumped at the sound as Jason and their black German Shepherd, Archer, entered.
“Hi, boys,” Miranda’s face broke into a huge smile. Archer bounded over and jumped on her. She grabbed him playfully by the scruff of his neck and reared back as he tried to slurp the side of her face. “Ew! No licking!” Pushing him down, she examined her pants, now covered in muddy footprints. “Archer!”
“What the heck?” Jason leaned his fishing pole against the doorframe and walked over, wiping the rain off of his face. “The dog gets a better welcome from my girlfriend than I do.” His eyes squinted. “Maybe I should try licking your cheek.” He peeled off his jacket, slinging it across the back of a chair with a wet thud.
“Come here, you big hunk of a fisherman.” She stood on her tiptoes and kissed him. He wrapped his arms around her waist and stared into her blue eyes.
“Hi, love,” he whispered, his wet hair plastered to his forehead.
She brushed it back. “Got caught in the storm, huh? You catch anything?”
“Yeah. No pork and beans tonight.” Jason led her by the hand out to the porch and gestured to a styrofoam ice chest. “Come see what I got.”
Miranda paused, a little uncertain. “Okay.…” She allowed him guide her to the cooler. He pried off the lid and then flashed her a big grin. The proud expression on his face tugged at her heart. So cute! She looked down at the row of five silver fish lying on the bed of pink-tinged ice, and unconsciously wrinkled her nose. “Nice,” she said, swallowing.
“Nice?” he mimicked and snapped the lid back down. “Sweetie, that’s dinner right there.” He darted a glance at her. “And don’t even be thinking about eating cereal.”
She shook her head in the negative but failed to convince him.
“Oh, brother,” he said. “You just wait until I pull those off the barbecue. You’ll be throwing that sawdust-in-a-box into the garbage.” He bent to scratch Archer’s neck. “Huh, ol’boy? I bet even you wouldn’t eat that cereal.”
“Of course not. He only eats dog food,” Miranda teased.
“That’s right.” Jason pointed at her. “I’m glad I finally got you trained.”
Miranda’s mouth dropped open as she popped him on the arm with her open palm. “I’ll train you, buddy.”
He winked and straightened. “Sounds fun. Can we start now?”
She laughed then, her deep husky one that he loved so much. He wrapped his arms around her and rocked her back and forth. Leaning down, he whispered in her ear, “I love it when you laugh like an old man. So sexy.”
“Jason! An old man? You’re making it difficult to remember why I fought so hard for you.”
He tipped her head back. “I’ll help you remember.” Softly, he brought his lips to hers. His fingers ran through her hair, cupping the back of her head as his thumb stroked her jawline. He opened his mouth and his whiskers lightly rubbed against her chin. She melted against him as he deepened the kiss.
His other arm snaked around her to support her. After a minute they broke apart, leaving Miranda breathless and craving more.
He arched an eyebrow at her, his green eyes lively. “You remember now or do you need another reminder?”
She smiled. “I’ll take all the reminders I can get.”
Miranda leaned back in his arms. Looking up at him, the hint of a smile at the side of his mouth transported Miranda back to the day she’d first met Jason. He’d been homeless at the time, sleeping in the woods outside of town. The sisters had been on the run to escape from their crazy uncle when they’d found Jason. Miranda smiled as she remembered how Jason had won Cassie over with a Twinkie.
He glanced up now, his arms stiffening around her. “What’s that beeping sound I keep hearing?”
Miranda jumped away. “Oh no! That’s the timer!”
“Timer?” Jason looked afraid.
“Cookies, hun. I made you some cookies.” The last comment was thrown over her shoulder as she ran into the house.
Smoke greeted her, along with the black smell of charred food. She grabbed a towel and pulled out the trays, tossing them on top of the stove.
Miranda stared at them a second. The disappointment was crushing.
“Aww. It’s not that bad.” Jason stepped behind her and rubbed her shoulders. “Honest. Just a little scraping off the bottom and they’ll be fine.”
She shook her head. “I really tried.”
He gave her shoulders a final squeeze before walking over to the sheet. Grabbing a spatula, he pried off a cookie and bit into it. “Mmmm,” he said in exaggerated enjoyment.
“You don’t have to do that.” Miranda said. A chuckle reluctantly escaped her as he crunched through the rest of the cookie.
“It made you smile,” he answered. “I’ll eat the rest for that smile.”
She leaned against him and he hugged her, his hand rubbing her back. “There’s always next time, I guess,” she muttered.
Jason’s arm’s tensed. “Sure. Next time.” He pushed her away slightly to study her face. “Or maybe we could find you another hobby. Like concrete repair.”
“Jason! You were doing so well!”
He laughed and kissed the top of her head. “Come on. The rain’s stopped. Let’s open those windows and go barbecue some fish.”
Miranda followed him, blissfully unaware that an old friend would soon be tearing her world apart, as her phone buzzed unheard with a text.
4
Summer
“Stupid son-of-a—” Jason lay on his back under the truck and wrenched on the oil filter.
It wouldn’t budge.
Archer crouched down to looked under the truck, his nose anxiously nuzzling Jason’s leg.
“Oh, you’re coming off. You better believe it.” Jason cranked the wrench down tighter and yanked again. His face contorted and turned red from the effort, and his worn boots scrabbled in the dirt for purchase as his temper rose.
With a crack, it finally broke free.
“Yes!” he shouted, and lay there a second to catch his breath. He reached up with grease-stained fingers and finished unscrewing the filter. Setting it to one side, he opened the box and extracted the new one. He seated it in place and then
hauled himself out from under the truck.
Dirt and leaves covered the back of his torn t-shirt. He searched for a towel and wiped his oil streaked arms. Frowning, he studied the greasy black filth forming crescents under his nails.
He stuck a funnel into the fill-hole of the engine and upturned a fresh bottle of oil into it. At the sound of a car rumbling down the driveway, his brow furrowed. Miranda wasn’t due home for another hour.
A sleek black Audi ambled passed the barn, its wheels flashing silver in the sunlight. Jason watched it navigate around the potholes he’d forgotten to fill. He snorted when it bottomed out on one of the holes.
“Who the heck is this?” he mumbled to Archer. The dog whined at him before staring back at the car.
The car rolled to a stop in front of the lake cabin. It was as out of place in Jason’s yard as a tiara on a pig. With a luxurious click, the car door opened, and a blond man in a grey tailored suit stepped out. He casually surveyed the yard as he fastened his coat, a wry smile on his face. His perfectly shaped hair remained impervious to the breeze coming off the lake.
“Probably uses man mousse.” Jason’s lip curled as he sneered down at Archer. The dog watched the stranger with interest, his head bobbing between the man and Jason.
“It’s okay, buddy. He’s not worth the effort of barking.” Jason scratched the dog’s head. “Look at that lily-white skin. I doubt he’s been in the sun much. Seems a bit puny to me.” Jason found a towel and wiped his hands again. Tossing it on the bench, he walked out of the barn. “Can I help you?” he called.
Archer stood with his ears forward and alert.
The man glanced over at the sound of Jason’s voice and raised his hand. “Hey there!” A grimace crossed the stranger’s face as he walked through the disturbed driveway dust, and he tried not to cough. Jason smirked as the man glanced down at his Ecco shoes.