by Aden Lowe
Jake came up behind me. "Is she okay?"
"Yeah, I think it's just an upset tummy." I quickly felt her head for any sign of fever.
"Okay, I'll hold, you clean?" He offered up his hands.
I gave him a doubtful look. "Are you sure? You'll get baby puke all over you."
He chuckled. "I promise, I've had far worse all over me."
It would definitely make cleanup a lot easier. "Okay." I handed her over, and he went back to his chair and balanced her carefully on his lap while I ran for towels. While I was at it, I took off my own puke-covered shirt, and grabbed a clean t-shirt from the pile of laundry I'd folded and left for the boys to take back. Surely they wouldn't mind if I borrowed a shirt for a few minutes?
"The easiest thing will be to just strip her here and rinse her off in the sink." I knelt in front of Jake and started peeling off Janna's soaked clothes. He held onto her carefully, but his eyes never left me. "Sorry, I grabbed a clean shirt while I was getting the towels. Otherwise, I'd have gotten it all over her again."
He grinned. "No need to be sorry. I kind of like you in my shirt."
My face heated with the images his words conjured up. I hurried to get Janna's diaper off, and carried her gingerly to the sink. Jake came, too, with the clean towel.
He rinsed his hands and adjusted the water temperature. "Check. I think that might be about right."
I held my hand under the water and turned to look up at him with wonder. "It's perfect. Where did you learn about taking care of babies?"
He shrugged, drawing my attention to the flex of the muscles in his bare chest. "I don't know anything about babies or kids, but I've taken care of baby animals my whole life. I figure they can't be all that different."
I shook my head and held Janna under the gentle spray. "Apparently they aren't. You're great with both the kids. You'll make a wonderful father someday."
He stayed silent for so long, I turned to look at him again. His expression had closed off. "Don't think I'm cut out for family life. I'd have to find a woman willing to put up with me first, and that ain't likely."
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to pry." I struggled for an explanation. "It's just, their father…I couldn't trust him to even keep Ian safe. Not only do you keep him safe, you're gentle and patient with both of them. Every man I've ever met would run as fast and far as he could to get away from a puking baby, but you offered to help with her. From where I'm standing, any woman would be lucky to land you." It was the truth. A big part of me wished I'd met Jake first, but then I wouldn't have Ian and Janna, and I wouldn't trade them for the world.
Chapter Nine
Jake
For the next week, I split my time between my usual work and helping Ande bring things down from the attic and get her house arranged for the kids. Ian followed at my heels every chance he had, and he'd developed the habit of kicking his little boots off at the door just like the rest of us did. Both of those kids had won my heart over entirely, and my Dad and brothers weren't far behind. Dad even held baby Janna in the evenings after dinner so Ande and I could clean up. Sam and Nate were supposed to take turns helping clean up, but I always volunteered. The extra moments with Ande were worth washing dishes.
I should know better than torture myself like this. Ande had no interest in me beyond employer and possibly friend. Her whole life was dedicated to making things good for her kids, and I could find no fault with that. She was lucky to have them, and they were lucky to have her. I couldn't imagine her walking away from her kids the way our mom had done.
None of that stopped me from dreaming about her, hungering for her touch, and breathing in her scent every time she came near enough. I should leave well enough alone and keep my distance, like Dad said, but I had this compulsion to torture myself with what I couldn't have.
My phone rang as she and I finished up the dishes, and a glance at the screen showed Manny calling me back. "Yeah." I headed outside, out of earshot. "Have any luck?"
He gave his typical grunt. "Of course. You doubted me?"
I chuckled. "Of course not. Tell me."
"Your girl is a widow now. Officials are searching for her to notify her." The smile in his tone would have made me doubt the words if they came from any other man. Manny liked killing assholes, though, so I had no doubt he was pleased.
"He didn't wanna sign, huh?"
"No. In fact, he threw down on me and threatened me if I didn't tell him where she was. Said he had a score to settle with that bitch. I didn't need to hear any more." A car door closed in the background and cut off the other noise filtering through his phone. "Fucker should have known better. She's free and clear now."
A weight the size of Dad's prize bull lifted off my shoulders. Ande and her kids were safe. They didn't have to spend their lives in hiding. "Thanks Manny. I owe you one."
"Right. Until the next time you need a favor and decide to remind me you think you saved my life." He laughed. "Take care, Jake, and reach out whenever you have time." The line went dead.
Now, how the hell was I going to handle this. Would the authorities be able to find Ande here in order to notify her? Should I tell her and admit to being complicit in murder? Or just let her wait and continue as things were? I stared up at the evening sky, wishing Gramma were here so I could talk to her. She never failed to have the answers I needed.
Deep in thought, I went out to the old watering trough Gramma had converted into an herb and flower bed years back. I always felt her presence strongest there. She had passed many evening hours sitting in the rocker Dad pulled out there for her, breaking beans or mending clothes. It was where us boys sat at her feet and listened to the stories of our ancestors and this land.
My thoughts went back to Ande. In the rest of the world, people hesitated to deal out justice as it was needed. Here, we had a different code. A man who beat his wife and kids needed to be put down. Ande might not see it that way, though. My calling in a favor and having a criminal friend take care of her problem might horrify her. No matter how much the man scared her and had hurt her, he was still the father of her kids. I couldn't bring myself to be sorry he was dead though. It meant Ande, Ian, and little Janna were safe from him. That was the only important thing.
A faint sound reached my ears and I turned. "Is everything okay, Jake? I worried when you didn't come back in." She stood there with the twilight accenting her perfect features and making her skin glow.
"Everything is good. Just about as good as it can get." I patted the rocker beside me. "Have a seat. My Gramma had Dad bring this out here from the porch maybe twenty years ago. Us boys sat here with her many evenings. It's where I always come when I miss her."
"Your Gramma must have been a special woman." She sat, and before I could stop myself, I slipped my arm around her shoulders.
If Ande noticed, or minded, she gave no indication. "She was. Without her, Dad could never have managed to run the place and take care of us too. She didn't have to step in when our mother left, but she just did. Put her own life on hold for us."
The breeze picked up a little and Ande leaned into my side. "I'm glad she was here for you. Do you know what happened with your mom?"
"No. She was just here one day, and gone the next. Dad reported her missing and the police investigated. They even half-assed accused him of doing something to her."
"Oh, God! Really? I don't know your father well, but I know him well enough to say without a doubt he's not that kind of man." The horror in her tone expressed my own feelings on the subject.
"I guess it's just standard procedure. Anyway, they never found any evidence, so eventually they dropped it. We all just assumed she was tired of the responsibilities that came with a family and took off. There isn't any other explanation." The subject always made my chest hurt, a reminder of the old pain and confusion. How could a mother just turn her back on her kids when they needed her? Ande would never do something so selfish.
"I'm sorry. That wasn't fair to you guys. I ca
n't imagine just walking away from Ian and Janna. Ever." Her arm slipped across my chest in a half hug.
This woman. Damn. She took my breath away. Scared to death she would run, I gently touched her chin, tipping her head up. She met my gaze, lips slightly parted, and I gave in to the magnetism that drew me to her. My mouth brushed across hers, and even though every part of me screamed to claim her fully then and there, I backed off almost immediately.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that." She must think I was abusing my position as her boss.
"I'm glad you did. I wanted you to." She sounded breathless.
"No. No matter how much I want to, I won't take advantage of you." Some days I hated Dad for instilling principles in us as we grew up. Like right now. If he hadn't, I could give in to my impulses now.
Ande nodded and looked down. "I understand. I'll leave you to your privacy. I'm sorry for interrupting." She stood and nearly bolted back into the house.
What the hell? Why did I feel like I just crushed her feelings? Surely she couldn't be mad at me for protecting her from myself? Yet again, I wished for Gramma's wisdom. I sighed and sat back, looking up at the stars as they became brighter and more appeared with the deepening darkness.
Chapter Ten
Ande
God, I felt so humiliated. My face burned with shame. How could I practically throw myself at Jake? He'd done nothing to show he was interested in more than friendship. I hated myself at that moment.
What if he decided to fire me? That he didn't want a woman like me in his house? Tears started to overflow and I angrily dashed them away. The kids were already asleep, so I took advantage of the quiet and walked over to lean on the fence by the horse pasture and surrendered to the emotions rolling through me.
"Hey, there, Ande-girl. You okay?" Johnathan's deep voice interrupted and I hastily wiped my cheeks.
"Uh, yeah, I'm okay." I couldn't let him know about this. If he thought I was interested in one of his boys, he would fire me himself, no matter how much he seemed to enjoy the kids, and no matter how many pet names he gave me.
He leaned on the fence beside me. "I'll never forget when the boys' momma left. She wasn't like you. I never really felt like we were enough, you know? My folks always called her flighty, and looking back, I can see that. She wasn't steady or dedicated. Your kids are lucky to have you, and now we are too."
I felt like shrinking into the dirt. "Johnathan, I—"
"No. You don't have to say it." He sighed. "I intended to protect you from feeling pressured to do anything you didn't want to do, but I see the way you and Jake look at one another. He's a good boy. He'll make a good daddy to your kids. I was a fool to threaten like that, especially when I already knew he was interested in you."
The tears fell with a vengeance. "You don't understand! He doesn't want me!"
He sighed and drew me into his arms. "You gotta give him time, Ande-girl. Momma always said the male species is dumber than a box of rocks, and I've come to the conclusion she was right. I made a lot of stupid choices myself. Jake's smarter than me. He won't." And he held me for a long time while I sobbed my heart out.
Finally, I excused myself and went inside, deeply shamed. That night, I dreamed of the many ways the Quicks could send me away. How could I feel so strongly about Jake, about the whole family, in just a matter of days? I dated my ex for years before I decided I loved him enough to marry him, and even then, I wasn't positive. Of course, what I felt for Jake wasn't love. Far from it.
Two more weeks of work and pining over Jake followed, but neither of us mentioned the night I threw myself at him. He stayed exactly the same, kind and patient with the kids, a perfect gentleman toward me. Every night he helped clean up after dinner. Every day he checked in when he came to the house for lunch to make sure I didn't need anything.
We had just finished a breakfast of pancakes and sausage, and the men lingered at table, sipping an extra cup of coffee and deciding on the day's work, when Shep, the old dog, began to raise a ruckus outside. Johnathan went to the door just as boots thudded on the porch.
"Sheriff Graham. Good to see you. Come in, have some coffee." He held the door for a tall man who looked to be somewhere between forty and ninety.
"Morning, Johnathan. Boys. I'm sorry, but I'm here on official business. Kyle tells me Andrea DuPont works for you?" He looked squarely at me.
I swallowed hard. "That's me. Ande. What can I do for you?" My heart thudded in my chest. This had something to do with Chris. I knew it. He'd somehow found a way to take the kids from me. My nails bit into my palms. Jake stood and came to my side.
"I got a call yesterday from the Jackson County Sheriff's Office. Sound familiar?" His faded blue eyes seemed to see straight to my soul.
"Yes." I took a deep breath to steady myself and fought the urge to wiggle like a bug on a pin, and Jake's arm slipped around my waist. "That's where I'm from."
The Sheriff nodded. "I figured as much. Well, it seems they been trying to find you. Guess you had reason to make yourself scarce."
I nodded, and the only thing keeping me upright was Jake's arm around me.
"Chris DuPont is your husband?"
I nodded again, unable to speak at this point. What had Chris done now?
"Ma'am, I regret to inform you, your husband was found deceased at his residence two weeks ago. They've been trying to find you since then."
My knees gave out and Jake scooped me up and carried me to a chair. "It's okay, baby." He brushed one hand over my hair and held me close with the other. "What happened, Sheriff? You have further information?"
The Sheriff took in the way I clung to Jake, missing nothing. "It's been ruled a homicide. Apparently, he was shot and killed during a botched robbery."
"They have any leads?" Johnathan's voice broke into the discussion.
"None worth following. I assume you all are willing to vouch for Miss Ande's presence here during the time in question?"
I caught my breath, suddenly feeling faint. "They can't think I killed him? I ran from him. I was terrified of him. I haven't gone back since the night he almost killed my daughter and me." Oh, God, what if they accused me? What would happen to Ian and Janna?
The Sheriff held his hands up like he was attempting to placate me. "Hold up there, miss. No one's accusing you. I'm just dotting 'I's and crossing 'T's. They'll eventually ask, and this way, I can go ahead and tell them."
Jake made a sound an awfully lot like a growl. "She's been here since we hired her. Two times she drove into town for supplies. I'm sure the clerks at Wilson's can verify that."
The Sheriff sighed. "That's what I figured." His gaze cut back to me. "His family went ahead with the funeral, but you're the legal next of kin. What address can I pass along for them to send you whatever information?"
Jake spoke for me again. "This address. She's living in Gramma's house. Is there anything else she needs to do?"
"Nope, not right now, anyways." He nodded my way. "I'm sorry for your loss miss. I best be getting back to town." Johnathan escorted him out and stayed outside talking with him for a long time.
I turned to Jake. "Do they think I killed him?" I had to know.
He paled a little under his tan. "No, they can't think that. Even if they do, you have solid alibis for every day and night since you came here. They'll have to get over it." He pulled me against his chest. "Are you okay?"
I nodded as sobs started to shake my shoulders. Whether they started from fear or relief I couldn't decide. They certainly weren't from sorrow.
Chapter Eleven
Jake
I held her long after my brothers quietly left the kitchen and went on about their work, long after her sobbing quieted. I hadn't expected her to weep for the man who hurt her like that, but I guessed it stood to reason. She had loved him at one point.
The baby monitor crackled a little and Janna's sleepy whines came through. "Let me get them. You take the day for yourself." I figured I knew enough about them by
now I could manage for one day.
A little part of me felt like I owed her since I was the dirty bastard behind the reason for her grief. Maybe I should have left well enough alone, but I couldn't let her go through life with that threat over her head. Even if Manny hadn't been able to help and it meant I had to get my own hands dirty, I wouldn't have hesitated.
She nodded and I hurried over to Gramma's house just in time to meet Ian stumbling out his room rubbing his eyes. "Hey buddy. You ready to get the day started?"
He nodded up at me, wide-eyed.
"Momma's not feeling great today, so I figured you, me and Janna would hang out. That okay with you?"
He gave a quick grin. I followed him back into his room and watched as he stripped out of his PJs and attempted to dress himself. Frustration took over pretty quickly when the shirt refused to go over his head. Together, we fumbled through and he grinned with satisfaction when we finished.
"You know where the stuff for Janna's bottles is?" Hopefully, that was what she needed.
"Yep." He led me to the kitchen and climbed up on a stool to reach a can sitting on the counter, then a bottle from the dish drainer. With his help and the directions on the can, I thought I did okay fixing the bottle. Ian shook the hell out of it after I got the powder measured and put in.
By this time, Janna started to actually howl, letting me know in no uncertain terms what she thought of my slowness. I stood there for a long minute, watching her glare up at me, her little lip puckered.
A deep breath gave me the nerve to pick her up. "How'd you sleep, beautiful? You ready for breakfast?"
Ian giggled. "Silly. Gotta change her."
I turned back to the baby to find her contentedly chewing her knuckles and waiting for me to get my ass in gear. I looked around until I spotted the little changing table thing and hoped like hell the supplies were all there. It took a few minutes, but I finally got the little coverall thing she wore off. Whoever made clothes for babies was evidently an idiot, since there was no logical way for that shit to work.