by Zen DiPietro
When she didn’t answer, Essley reached across the counter and grasped her hand, joining Sally to her group and initiating a private conversation bubble.
Sally stared at her in shock. No one had ever tried to do that before, and she hadn’t realized it was possible.
“Is this a special event?” Essley asked privately, so other adventurers couldn’t overhear.
There were a lot of things Sally wanted to say, but she had only limited words to choose from. “I’m Sally Streetmonger. I love puzzles.”
“Okay,” Essley said. “Okay. Let’s do the puzzle then.”
“Would you like a hint?” Sally asked. “Only one copper.”
It was a lie. Hints were supposed to cost a gold each. This puzzle was meant to be impossible to solve unless an adventurer paid a fortune for the answers. But Sally was in charge of her shop, and she could make good deals if she liked someone.
She liked Essley, this person who called her by name and talked to her like a person and touched her hand. She’d give this prize to Essley for being unlike the others.
In quick succession, Sally flipped unseen levers on the puzzle, shifted the gears, turned the entire thing over, set it on the counter and gave it a hard spin, then knocked three times and hit it in the center.
A button popped up.
Sally nodded toward the button.
“Okay…here goes…”
Essley pushed it.
A stunning sensation rushed through Sally. It was a forceful, flowing feeling, as if her insides were getting the full blast of a steam engine’s power. Somehow, it wasn’t unpleasant, but kind of…thrilling. As jarring as the sensation was, it lasted only a moment and left something entirely different in its wake.
She felt…smarter. More capable. Even more startling, her vision seemed to have improved tremendously. Had that crack on the back wall of the store always been there?
“Wow!” Essley exclaimed. “My intelligence just went up three whole ranks, and my perception went up five! Awesome!”
Sally assessed Essley and saw that the adventurer had indeed benefitted greatly from the puzzle reward.
Feeling silly, Sally attempted to assess herself. Of course it wouldn’t work.
Except it did.
Sally had never had stats before, but she now did. She even had skills.
And they were still actively increasing in tiny increments, just like they did for adventurers.
That wasn’t possible. Sally assessed herself again and noticed that she was still joined to Essley’s group. That wasn’t supposed to be possible either. Her skill stats continued to click and turn in a slow but precise rhythm, like a highly accurate timepiece.
Did Sally somehow also receive the puzzle reward thanks to having inadvertently joined Essley’s group?
What a ridiculous idea! How could she even come up with such a preposterous thought?
“I’m going to go test out these new stats,” Essley said. “Bye, Sally!”
Sally said nothing. She had no dialogue for goodbyes since no one ever bothered with them.
Essley stepped out of the shop, and without warning she pulled Sally out with her.
For the first time in her life, Sally felt the warmth of the sun’s rays shining down on her.
Essley stared at her in shock. “Wait, what?” “You can leave the store?”
“No!” Sally ducked back into her shop, where she was safe.
Well, relatively safe, outside of the regular stabbings she received. But she’d always considered those to be merely a demeaning inconvenience.
Essley came back into the shop, where Sally stood, panicked. “You did, though. You came out with me. Let’s try it again.”
Essley reached over for Sally’s hand, but she evaded, then gasped.
She wasn’t supposed to be able to evade.
“Darthrok,” Essley said, touching a gadget tucked on the inside of her sleeve. “Come over to Sally Streetmonger’s. She’s being weird.”
“No,” Sally said.
“What?”
“Don’t tell your friends,” Sally answered forcefully. She didn’t know what was happening to her, but she knew it was something forbidden.
“Darthrok’s okay,” Essley assured her. “He’s my best friend in real life. We won’t tell anyone else, okay?”
“What’s that?” Sally asked.
Essley looked behind her. “What’s what?”
“What you said.”
“What I said…” Essley looked puzzled. “Oh, you mean real life?”
Sally nodded.
“Huh, I guess you’re only programmed to know what’s going on here. Okay, well, real life is where we’re from.”
Sally had questions, but no words to ask them with.
Someone entered and they turned to see if it was Darthrok.
Instead, Kitria stomped into the store.
Oh, no. Not now.
Kitria banged some lumps of raw ore onto the counter. “Barter ore for matches.”
Sally went behind the counter and assessed the ore. That much of it would buy a lot of matches. She had to wonder what Kitria’s plans were for so much fire-making ability. “Two thousand, two hundred and sixty-eight matches.”
“Accept,” Kitria said.
Sally put away the ore and delivered the matches. She knew what came next, and while it had never overly concerned her in the past, she didn’t know what a reset would mean for her new-found skills and stats.
For the first time, she felt fear.
Kitria pulled out her dagger and Essley cried out, “No!”
Kitria stabbed.
Sally ducked out of the way.
“What?” Kitria looked dumbfounded. “What’s happening?”
“Don’t stab her!” Essley rushed forward, reaching for Kitria’s arm.
Kitria dodged Essley and plunged her dagger into Essley’s chest instead. Then she pivoted gracefully and stabbed Sally.
Together, they fell to the floor.
“That was weird.” Kitria finished loading her pack with the matches and strode out of the shop, whistling a merry tune.
As soon as Kitria left the store, Sally stood, good as new. Essley, however, lay on the floor with the specter of death on her. She was a long way from being able to take on someone as powerful as Kitria.
“Dangit.” Essley’s ghostly voice came up from the floor.
Darthrok entered and rushed to Essley. “What happened? You said Sally’s being weird? She didn’t…” he looked from Essley to Sally.
“No, of course Sally didn’t do this” Essley said. “I made a mistake with a griefer.”
“You have godsends, right?” he asked hopefully.
“Yeah, so at least I don’t have to give all my coin to a soul rector. If you’ll grab my stuff, I’ll just use a godsend to vacate my body and regenerate in the Hall of Souls. Wait for me here?”
“Sure.”
Essley’s body went dark, then disappeared, leaving all her possessions behind.
Darthrok quickly picked everything up so no one could steal Essley’s gear. He sighed and looked at Sally. “It’ll be a while before she gets back. So what’s your deal? She said you were being weird.”
“Don’t tell your friends,” Sally said.
“What?”
“It’ll be our secret,” Sally told him.
“It’s a secret that you’re being weird? Essley was right, you’re saying some weird stuff. It’s almost like we’re having a real conversation.”
What did that mean? Sally had conversations with all her customers. “It’s guaranteed.”
Darthrok frowned at her. “What’s guaranteed? We haven’t bargained on anything.”
She tried to find a way to tell him that she was doing her best to communicate with him. “I’m not fancy, but I’m doing my best.”
Darthrok spoke into a tiny gadget on his lapel that allowed long-distance communication. “How much longer will you be? You’re right. Sally’
s saying random weird junk.”
“About five minutes. I’m running back as fast as I can. Just hang out there and keep an eye on her.”
“Okay.” He wandered around the store, pausing to take a closer look at the ornate cash register on the counter. He leaned forward, admiring the shiny brass and copper fittings, apparently liking them so much that he extended a finger toward the shiny buttons. With a worried look, he quickly yanked it back.
He probably didn’t want to risk getting accused of attempted theft. Sally didn’t blame him. Most towns in Everternia took a dim view of theft, but her town—known as Pivot—was a really bad place to get caught stealing.
She wanted him to say more things to her, but he didn’t. Essley had said she could trust him, though, and it wasn’t like she had other options for friends. She’d have to make an effort to communicate.
“Essley,” she said. “Essley and you are friends?”
“What, you make conversation now?” Darthrok came closer, examining her face, then inspecting her all the way down to the hem of her boring red dress and her plain slippers.
“I’m doing my best.” She hoped he could sense her sincerity.
“Hm.” He assessed her, which, at his relatively low level, only allowed him to see what she was wearing, her apparent mood, and his likelihood of being able to best her in a fight.
“Wait,” he said, looking startled. “You look like you could pound me into the dirt? Are you opted in for combat now?”
Sally sure hoped not. That sounded terrible. “What would I do with that?”
He sighed and tapped his toe on the ground. Essley came sprinting in, naked as the day she was generated.
Sally had seen many naked characters run into her store, desperate to rebuy the basic supplies they’d been relieved of after dying. She supposed it wasn’t rare for people out in the world to see a naked person running back to the scene of their death.
Now that she thought about it, it seemed funny. Everternians tended to be serious about propriety and proper comportment. Why were naked streakers allowed to be a normal occurrence? And how had she never noticed how odd this was?
Sally opened a cabinet and pulled out a luxurious coat with colorful embroidery and held it out toward Essley. “One silver.”
“One silver?” Essley asked. “That’s worth twenty platinum.”
“I can’t give away my wares for free,” Sally said. She usually said this when someone offered a ridiculously low amount. Now, she said it to try to explain to Essley that she was doing her best to be a friend within the hard limits of her parameters.
“Okay.” Essley accepted the deal. Darthrok handed her belongings to her and she quickly put on her shirt, pants, boots, then shrugged into her new, high-quality coat. “Wow. This is amazing.”
Sally pressed a button, which caused gears to whir, cogs to roll, and resulted in the soft whisper of pistons as the cash drawer slid out.
She loved that sound.
“Lucky,” Darthrok said, admiring Essley’s new coat. “Why did she give you that?”
“I don’t know. Either Sally’s got a bug or she’s being run by a GM. I don’t think it’s a GM, though. They don’t give things like this out for nothing. Plus, they always get right to whatever event they’re starting, and she’s just kind of poking around doing nothing. She even got killed by Kitria again. I like her better this way, though. She almost seems real.”
Sally felt warm and happy. Essley liked her? No one had ever done that. She didn’t understand some of the young adventurers’ phrases, but maybe they were unique to their homeland of Reallife.
“Think I can get one of those coats?” Darthrok asked Essley in their private conversation bubble.
Sally reached into the cabinet and pulled out a coat, offering it to him. “One silver.”
Darthrok and Essley looked at each other, wide-eyed.
“Did she hear me?” he asked. “And then respond without my even asking her?”
Sally bit her lip. Should she not have done that? It was probably rude of her.
Darthrok didn’t seem offended, though. He handed her a silver and took the coat. “Look at this. Man.”
He seemed happy, so maybe he didn’t think it rude that Sally hadn’t waited for him to ask her for a coat.
Essley crept closer, peering at Sally’s face. “Sally, do you hear me?”
“Yes,” Sally answered.
“Do you understand what I’m saying?”
“Yes,” Sally said again.
“Are you stupid?”
What a rude thing to say! “No,” Sally responded. “Are you?”
Darthrok laughed and Essley blinked in surprise.
“It’s like I’m actually talking to her,” Essley said. “That can’t be a standard stock answer. Maybe they upgraded the A.I. of the CMs?”
Darthrok smoothed his robe for the fiftieth time. “Why bother wasting resources like that on a basic element that doesn’t do much?”
Sally didn’t think he intended to be cruel, but his words hurt her far more than Kitria ever had.
Sally did plenty. Lots. She served a vital function in Pivot. Every new adventurer started out in this town, and came to her store to get what they needed to get started in life. And they kept coming back for as long as they were adventuring, too, even when they spent time in other towns. Sometimes the same person would come back to her store a dozen times in one day. She worked hard. Without Sally, there’d be no adventuring in Everternia.
If resources were being given out, there was nobody as deserving as her. She wanted to give Darthrok a piece of her mind about it, too, but all she could say was, “I’m not fancy, but I’m doing my best.”
She’d have to work at taking apart her dialogue and putting the words back together in new sequences. Then she might have something a bit cheekier to say. He deserved it.
She liked the idea of being cheeky. She’d been obliging and accommodating for a really long time. She felt ready for a change.
“I don’t know, but watch this.” Essley reached out for Sally’s hand.
Sally pulled away and took a backward step. She knew what Essley was trying to do, and she wasn’t ready for it.
Unfortunately, every time Sally took a step back, Essley took a step forward and closed the space between them. She kept reaching for Sally’s hand. “Just…just join my party!”
“No!” Sally turned and ran to the other side of her store.
“You’re right,” Darthrok said. “That’s definitely weird.”
“No, that’s not what I was trying to show you,” Essley said, frustrated. “I actually joined her to my group, and when I went outside, she came with me.”
“No way.” Darthrok looked from Sally to Essley and back again.
“It’s true,” Essley insisted.
“Maybe if we corner her we could drag her out?” he suggested, taking a step toward Sally.
Panicked, Sally ran to her cabinets and grabbed the first item she saw. She jumped on the counter and threw it at Darthrok. shouting, “Don’t!”
A fist-sized lump of ore hit him in the chest, then fell to the floor with a dull thud.
He stared at Sally in shock. “That…actually hurt. I mean, not much, but I lost two health points.”
He picked up the ore and assessed it, as if it could give him some answers. “It’s just ore.”
Sally really wanted to deliver a stinging insult regarding his intelligence. The best she could do was to say, “You’re not fancy.”
Essley laughed. “I think she’s mad at you.”
Sally pointed at her. “You too, not fancy.”
Darthrok laughed. “I’m guessing we’re not supposed to drag her out against her will.”
“Okay,” Essley said. “I’m sorry, Sally. We won’t try that again.”
Still on top of the counter, Sally dropped into a crouch and hugged her knees. No one had ever apologized to her before. It was surprisingly nice. But it had come r
ight after her minor panic at the idea of being forced outside, causing her emotions to tangle up with each other.
“Maybe there’s something that would tempt her outside,” Darthrok said. “Maybe we’re supposed to get her to join us on her own.”
Essley bit her lip thoughtfully. “Okay. So what would Sally Streetmonger want?”
Sally sat all the way down on her behind, her emotional disarray subsiding and her curiosity blooming in its place. What did she want? She’d never considered actually wanting something.
“Sally,” Essley said carefully. “It’s been a little while since a customer came in. What do you usually do when you have no customers?”
Sally didn’t have the words for it, but she dropped her feet the floor, grabbed her cloth, and began wiping the counter. She gave Essley a pointed look, then stepped back and dropped the cloth.
“She answered you.” Darthrok stepped closer to Essley. “A direct answer, albeit nonverbal, to a very nonstandard question. That’s really strange.”
“Let’s try another nonstandard question. Something she’d definitely never be programmed for,” Essley suggested.
“Here’s something I’ve always wondered,” Darthrok said. “Hey, Sally, why do you wear such dowdy clothes when you have such fancy things to sell?”
That…was a good question. Sally looked down at her outfit. She didn’t have an answer, because he was right. What was she doing wearing such crappy clothes?
She pulled the dress up over her head and kicked off her shabby slippers. Wearing only her knickers and chemise, she rummaged in the cabinet until she found something she liked. Sure, it was scandalous to be standing in her store wearing her bloomers, but they covered as much as some outfits did, so why not?
She was ready to be cheeky, after all.
She pulled on a blouse with lace elbow-length sleeves then topped it with a brown leather corset that had a short skirt attached. The skirt ended with delightfully fluffy black ruffles. After putting on some clingy leggings, she finished off her look with a pair of her very best adventurer’s boots.
“I’m fancy.” She’d never felt so happy. It wasn’t because of the clothes, though they were delightful, but rather the fact that she’d selected them for herself.