“I always have time to help a lady in need,” Nick responded with a natural graciousness that didn’t come off as phony in the slightest.
“So I hear.” She’d referenced Seth’s comment, but Nick didn’t know about her earlier conversation.
Lifting an eyebrow at her, he appeared more amused than curious when he asked, “And who’s been telling you stories about me?”
“Killian.” Rachel saw her chance and took it. “Killian Kregor. I believe you know him.”
“Oh, yeah.” There came that grin again. A slow, sexy lift of Nick’s full lips, that smile had the power to make women go weak in the knees. “Killian and I go way back.”
“As in yesterday.” Rachel tried to match his amused tone, but the hurt inside her cut through, sharpening the words. Nick clearly heard the undertone in her voice, and it had him pausing for a second before responding.
“He didn’t tell you he came up here.”
“No.” There seemed to be no point in lying about that one. “I figured it out all on my own.”
“Then I guess you figured out you shouldn’t be too thrilled by his unexpected visit,” Nick concluded, strangely growing an even wider grin. “And you shouldn’t be.”
Nick couldn’t have been clearer than that. His words wiped out her ability to smile, much less pretend to be anything other she was—pissed. She’d trusted them, and they’d made a fool of her. She should have known. Hell, she had known, but she had been stupid enough to hope for something different.
“I don’t mean to be causing problems between you and yours,” Nick’s thumb lifted her chin up to meet his gaze again, “but you’re a hell of a better reporter than he insinuated, and I didn’t hold anything back.”
Rachel sniffed back the pain and misery trying to overwhelm her and bring her to a screeching halt. She knew what she needed to do. First, though, she had to get back to Pittsview.
“Thanks.” She tried to offer up a smile with that bit of gratitude. “Well, I’d better be going.”
“Yeah.” Nick stepped back as she slid into her car seat. He hesitated for a second to tell her to drive safely before slamming the door. She minded his advice all the way to the end of Camp D’s drive, not wanting to run over any kids who might pop out of nowhere.
Once on the highway, though, she put the pedal down and did nearly twenty miles an hour over the posted speed limit. She wanted to get home, needed to get home as fast as possible because she’d had enough. Rachel couldn’t delude herself and wouldn’t any longer.
Watts hadn’t backed down. He’d probably been intimidated. For all their sweetness and pledges of love, neither Adam nor Killian had changed. They might be doing it behind her back now, but they were still trying to control her. It hadn’t even been a whole week since they’d pledged to do otherwise.
While she’d up held her end, they’d never intended to honor theirs. There could be no future in a relationship like that, and delaying the inevitable only made everything harder. The time had come to end it. Like a Band-Aid that needed to be ripped off, she’d do it quick and try to save herself the pain of some overdramatized scene.
* * * *
Killian stared at the clock and then glanced at the phone on his desk. As much as he hated being stuck in the station house, that wasn’t what had him itchy today. Rachel’s interview with Dickles should have been over. She should have called by now to tell them that she was on her way home.
It was one of their newly developed couple rituals. They called. She called. Everybody knew where everybody was at almost any moment of the day. The small shift that sort of familiar tradition made over the past few days had helped ease some of Killian’s anxiety that Rachel was up to mischief, but hearing about her interview had put all the tension back in his gut.
“Stop staring,” Adam muttered from his side of their conjoined desks. “It’ll ring when it rings.”
Killian didn’t take Adam’s advice but only glowered harder at the phone. “I should have gone with her.”
“She wouldn’t have allowed that,” Adam retorted, the annoyance clear in his tone. Only Killian didn’t know if Adam was pissed at him or himself.
“This is all your fault. Don’t roll your eyes at me. I’m not the one who wanted to play it all nice and agree to let the girl allow or not allow things. That isn’t the way the power should be balanced, and you know it.”
Adam stiffened up in his seat at that accusation, never one to take blame. “And if Dickles actually presented a physical threat to Rachel, I’d have agreed with you. Short of telling Rachel just what the problem is with Dickles, how would you have possibly proved your case?”
He wouldn’t have, but Killian didn’t think he should have to. It should be enough for him to express his opinion and have her respect it. Respect, he’d grown to hate that word. Rachel wanted it, and Dickles thought they hadn’t shown him any.
How one actually showed respect to an older brother before deflowering his younger sister, Killian didn’t know. That was Dickles’s axe to grind with them. Forget the fact that it should have rusted after all these years or that Deborah Dickles was, by all accounts, happily married with three kids. The bastard should have gotten over it by now. Then again, older brothers tended to hold grudges.
Technically, years back, that made sense. After all, Deborah had been a virgin, but she hadn’t wanted to be. If Killian and Adam hadn’t cured that problem for her, she’d have found somebody else. Besides, it wasn’t like Nick didn’t enjoy having sex. The jackass was just being sexist, but again, that’s how older brothers tended to be.
Killian figured he’d gotten lucky by having a younger sister who was gay. It saved him from fulfilling a lot of older brother duties because he certainly couldn’t go around threatening or beating up on women. He could threaten Nick, though, so he had.
“You should have seen him laughing yesterday. Said he heard we settled down and wanted to check out our woman for himself.” Killian’s knuckles went white with the memory.
He should have hit Nick then and there instead of just promising to hit him if he did anything other than look. Because of Rachel, he’d held back, knowing there would be more hell to pay at home if she found out about his impromptu visit to Camp D.
“Relax, Killian.” Adam’s advice didn’t help when his own tone held so much tension. “Nick doesn’t know how to hurt us. He probably figured Rachel knows our reputation.”
She did, too. At least, she knew the half she’d read in their files, a fact that still irked Killian. Rachel shouldn’t know the details of that side of his life. Hell, he didn’t know about hers and didn’t ask. Women, though, were always too nosey for their own good.
So now she knew about their insatiable appetites and the record number of women they’d funneled through their bed. Still, that didn’t compare to what had come before the Cattleman’s Club. At the club, the women were all willing and all knew the score. There wasn’t any romance on anybody’s part, so there weren’t any delusions either.
That was a little different than it had been in the years stemming from high school through the military where they’d had to work at getting women in their bed. While they’d never promised any woman anything other than a good time, the very act of seduction sometimes led women to think things they shouldn’t—like Killian would be there in the morning.
That’s kind of what started Deborah crying and Nick chasing after them. Truth be told, Nick didn’t stand in a line of one when it came to pissed off brothers wanting to beat Killian and Adam’s asses. He didn’t want Rachel to know anything about that hate club. Then she might start thinking they didn’t take any of this seriously, or worse, that they shouldn’t be taken seriously. Rachel didn’t need any help in that department.
“It’s almost three,” Killian commented, not needing to glance at any clock to verify that information. He’d spent the last hour monitoring every click of the minute hand. “Maybe I should call her.”
Adam sig
hed, barely looking up from his papers. “She’ll call when she calls.”
“What is your problem?” Killian had enough of Adam’s dismissive, don’t-give-a-shit attitude these past few days. “Don’t you even care that she’s late?”
“Sure,” Adam shrugged, “but I’m not going to get worked up over it.”
That only infuriated Killian’s already raw temper. “Yeah, apparently you don’t get worked up over anything these days. Not worth your time, I guess.”
“What’s the point?” Adam finally lifted his chin to pin Killian with a calm, almost remote look. “She either loves us or she doesn’t. You can’t make a person feel something when they don’t. If she does, then she’ll come to us first, not take the word of some man she just met.”
That awfully grim view frustrated the crap out of him because he didn’t know when or why Adam had come by it. Killian hoped to hell that it wasn’t Adam’s past coming to haunt them because he could only fight so many fronts at once. First, they had to settle things down with Rachel. Then, they could move on to Adam’s emotional issues.
“Forget the whole notion of fighting for something you want, right?”
That obnoxious question had Adam focusing back in on his papers. “Some fights you just can’t win.”
Killian had a retort for that but forgot it as the lobby door pushed in. “Rachel.”
He was on his feet at the front counter’s edge in the next breath, so relieved to see her healthy and back that he didn’t notice the stiff tension in her features until she responded.
“My key.”
That was all she managed to grind out from her clenched jaw, but it didn’t make sense to Killian. Neither did the hand she held out, but he could figure right then it wasn’t good. Nick had done something. That son of a bitch!
“What did he say to you?” Killian demanded to know, uncaring that his question made as little sense as her demand.
“My house key,” Rachel repeated, appearing completely uninterested in holding any kind of conversation. “Now. And yours, too.”
Like Killian would obey that tone. He’d be dead before he gave in without a battle. “What the hell is this about? What did Nick say? What the hell are you doing?”
He directed that last one at Adam, who shocked him more than Rachel by silently whipping her key off his ring. Pausing to give Killian a dead stare, he dropped the key in Rachel’s hand before turning and simply walking away.
“Damnit, Adam, get back here!”
“My key.”
“I’m not giving you shit.” Killian whipped around on Rachel, ready to do battle with the strength of two men if that’s what it took. “Not until you tell me what the hell is going on.”
“I packed your shit, put it in the driveway. I want it gone by the time I get home, and I never want to see you again. Now give me my key.” Her tone never shifted up into a yell, but the sharp, crisp tempo boiled with anger. Rachel must have been beyond pissed because he’d never seen her this mad.
Before he could try to diffuse her or at least get her down to a simmer, Alex, that bastard, butted his nose into their business. “Give her the key, Deputy.”
Turning to tell Alex what he could do with his commands, Killian realized now would not be the time or place as he saw every single eye in the station house watching him. She’d done this on purpose to give him no room to wiggle. Of that Killian had no doubt, but knowing it made him all the more itchy to rebel.
It took all his willpower to obey the wisdom of the moment and fish out his keys. He took his time removing hers from his ring, letting her suffer the scene she’d caused for an extra minute before plunking the key into her hand.
“This isn’t over.”
Rachel matched his lean across the counter. “You stay away from me, Killian.”
That would never happen, but he’d let her walk out right now. Later, he’d be setting things back to right, but at that moment he had to go figure out what happened to his wingman. Adam had disappeared into the back. Killian didn’t even spare a moment for the gawking gazes or beginning snickers as he stormed off to the locker room.
Sure enough, he found Adam washing his hands, calmer than before, if anything. That only ticked Killian into taking the issue up with his fist. Swooping in from his side, Killian caught Adam’s shirt around the shoulders and used it to slam his partner against the wall.
“What the hell are you doing?”
“I could ask you the same thing,” Adam shot back, finally showing some attitude as he shoved Killian away.
“I’m trying to figure out when you and Rachel did whatever drugs it is that have the two of you acting crazy all of a sudden,” Killian roared, venting his frustration.
“No.” Adam shook his shirt out before shooting Killian a hard look. “What you’re doing is trying to make something work that obviously isn’t. Rachel doesn’t love us. She doesn’t want us. End of story.”
“Oh, the hell it is.” Killian blocked Adam when he tried to walk away again. “Since when do you run from a fight?”
“Look,” Adam’s voice whispered out with an edge that spoke more of anguish than anger, “we told her we loved her. We did everything she asked. What more can we do? Trying to hang on, to make this fling into a relationship, I can’t do it. I won’t. I need somebody who also needs me. Now I’m going to go take care of our stuff.”
Killian let Adam pass, watching him shrug through the locker room door with a growing sense of desperation. Given Adam’s background, he had some right to be difficult at points. Rachel didn’t. From everything she ever said, she’d been coddled and sheltered. Yet she acted as skittish and insane as Adam did.
He was stuck between two crazy people and damned tired of having to be the rational one. Perhaps if he went nuts they’d have to behave like adults. Killian certainly felt the lure of going berserk right then. Hell, Rachel had gotten her scene. Maybe it was time for him to cause one of his own.
Chapter 30
Rachel couldn’t drive away from the station house fast enough, convinced that any second Killian and Adam’s cruisers would be flashing lights at her. Taking corners like she’d just robbed a bank, she hightailed it over to Heather’s.
Her friend wouldn’t be home, but Rachel had a key and permission to use it. Explaining what had happened on the phone had nearly broken her control. The very words had trembled on her lips, but she’d held strong. There would be time enough to break down after it had actually ended.
She wouldn’t fool herself into believing the scene she’d staged at the station would be the final word. Not with the heat that had flared in Killian’s eyes. He’d want revenge, a totally expected response and the very reason she’d chosen to kick them out in public where the rest of the police department could make sure they obeyed.
If she’d tried to do it privately, it wouldn’t have been done. Killian and Adam had shown a willingness to sink to any level to win. As weak as her love made her, she couldn’t have resisted. So Rachel had chosen to do things the brutal way, the final way. Hopefully, in such a way that they wouldn’t follow to tempt her with the fantasy she so desperately desired.
It had been clear from the second Killian had started yelling at her that he wouldn’t be so easily dismissed. Adam…Rachel closed her eyes and tried not to let the despair wash over her as she remembered how cold his gaze had been.
Behind her, the clink of Heather’s garage door helped to prod her into action. She couldn’t think about her feelings or theirs. Not now when she needed all her focus on her next move just to keep from collapsing. She’d emptied her house, gotten her keys. Now came the ritual hiding.
The only problem with the plan was the silence. If she’d been home, Rachel would have crawled into bed and cried herself to sleep. She couldn’t cry in Heather’s empty house. She couldn’t get comfortable enough.
Instead, the grim peace settled in every shadow of the house only appeared to taunt her with how vacant and empty her life was.
The cold reminder twisted the sick feeling in her stomach until the hours piled up, almost too long for Rachel to bear.
When Hailey’s phone call broke the tension, Rachel jumped at the chance to get out of the house. She couldn’t be quiet right now. She needed the noise and chaos of the world to insulate her from the reality awaiting her at home.
There would be time enough for grieving. Right then she needed to catch her breath. Surely not even Killian would cause a scene at the Bread Box, especially during the dinner rush. It would be safe. There would be other deputies eating there. They would all have heard about the breakup by now, so they would know to keep their man in line.
Perhaps, she wanted to be caught, wanted to take back everything until nothing hurt anymore. That wouldn’t happen, but she couldn’t stop her heart from yearning. It dreamed of them showing up. Then they’d say…what? Rachel drew a blank because she couldn’t think of anything that would fix this situation.
It frustrated her, leaving her feeling tired and in need of some escape. Maybe listening to Hailey’s problems would do her some good, reminding her of the world that didn’t revolve around her relationship with Killian and Adam. If not, then she’d at least have an ear to talk off and a whole deli full of sweets to stuff herself with.
She couldn’t leave early, though. Having her car parked out in public would be a risk that she should minimize, so she waited until she could be sure Hailey would be there. What protection her friend could offer, Rachel didn’t know, but she’d feel better not being on her own.
Her nerves made her driving a little risky as she sped toward the Bread Box. She managed to make it there without incident and in good time. Still, the deli’s lot had overflowed and the only parking remained on the street. Maybe she should have gotten there earlier. Now she had to risk Heather’s ire by blocking the dumpster and hoping it wasn’t pick-up day.
Penn, Jenny - Rachel's Seduction [Cattleman's Club] (Siren Publishing Ménage Everlasting) Page 31