“So?” Killian goaded her, taking her silence for defeat. “I’m still waiting to hear what it is we did.”
“You would have left anyway.” Licking her lips, Rachel lifted her chin and decided to go for broke. There really wasn’t any point in hiding anymore. Not with all the extremes they’d gone to have this conversation. “We all know it. I just…did things on my timeline. I’m sorry if that was a little faster than yours, but it’s still the same ending you would have wanted at some point.”
She’d opened up her heart and bared her soul to him, only to have Killian snort and roll his eyes. “See, now that’s just screwed up.”
“Oh, go fuck yourself, Killian.” Rachel didn’t need to hear anything more.
“Trust me, darlin’, you’re going to be doing that for me in just a bit, but first I’m going to have my say.”
“I don’t want to hear what you have to say.” She’d already gotten the message. Hopefully, her heart had, too, because knowing that he didn’t care would only make tomorrow worse. She really should have hidden at Heather’s.
“Do you want to be cuffed and gagged for this?”
He could and would. That only made her hate him more right then. “Fine. Get everything off your chest, Killian, because this is the last time I’m ever going to bother listening to you.”
“You never listen anyway,” Killian shot back. “Or didn’t you hear what I said? Men want a commitment, and I know you’re smart enough to read between the lines and get my point, but since you want to play it dense, I’ll just say it.
“Adam and I want a commitment. One of those until-death-do-you-part kind of things. Hell, dumb-shit over there,” Killian said, waving at where Adam paced in the shadows, “he already told you he loved you. That’s the problem, isn’t it?
“Now you know you’ve got us by the short and curlies, so you think you can run all around, acting crazy and free and we’ll be chasing after you because we got no choice. Well, I got news for you, missy. It ain’t going to work like that.
“After tonight, we’re going to lay out the rules, and we’re all going to obey them. Unless it is unanimously agreed that somebody broke the rules, nobody gets to leave the relationship. Got that?”
Rachel blinked and then blinked again, trying to figure out what the hell she felt. Part of her thought she should be angry if for no other reason than he’d yelled at her. His words, though, didn’t give her any motivation but to stare.
What he said only made sense if she was wrong about one thing. The very thing she’d never doubted in all the weeks. “Adam only said he loved me because I was pissed at you two. He didn’t mean it.”
“Are you calling me a liar?”
Rachel jumped well over a foot as that growl came, low and threatening, right over her shoulder. She shouldn’t have turned, though, because catching sight of the unholy fire burning in his eyes and tensing his muscles to stone only made her too nervous to answer honestly.
“No.”
“Yes, you are.” He took a step forward, and she immediately matched it with one backward.
“I’m just saying, that’s kind of like a man’s notion of a get-out-of-jail-free card.” Another step forward and another backward.
“Yeah, sort of how it’s like a woman to scream it when she’s orgasming harder than any other lover she’s known made her.” Rachel banged into Killian, coming to a forced stop while Adam caged her in from the front. “So tell me, sweet Rachel, did you lie?”
Chapter 36
Adam waited, feeling the air burning his lungs with the need to escape. He couldn’t let go over the breath. He couldn’t even feel the beat of his heart until it contracted painfully with the dipping of her chin. In that moment, he was so sure the answer was yes that he couldn’t even hear the one she whispered a moment later.
“No.”
Rachel shifted slightly, a silent demand to be released that Adam ignored. He wouldn’t release her now, not after all the weeks of loneliness and doubt. She’d gotten halfway to where he wanted her to be, more than enough for the pain to recede beneath the avalanche of lust fueling his suddenly racing heart. All she needed now was to give him those three little words and he’d be flying.
“It doesn’t matter, though.” Rachel’s eyes lifted to give him a sorrowful look from under her lashes. “I might love you, and you might love me, but that doesn’t change anything.”
Oh, the hell it didn’t. It changed everything, but Killian would be better at explaining that. With a pointed look at his partner, Adam stepped back to step around the couple. He couldn’t stand still, couldn’t be that close to Rachel for too long without breaking.
Never before had he fought so hard to control the primitive urges to take and ravage. Knowing what came next didn’t help soothe the ache in his balls. If they didn’t get to it soon, he might very well explode in his damn jeans. That certainly was not how he planned to end this night.
“And why not?”
Adam cast Killian a glance, wondering how his friend could sound so chipper when his own voice seemed to scrape out of his throat, rough and dry. Killian, though, had insanity on his side, which made him more than qualified to handle Rachel.
She proved his assessment right by going from sad looking to pissed in a blink of an eye. Adam suspected Killian’s overly happy façade irritated her as much as it did him.
“Because this isn’t a movie.” She stated it like they didn’t already know that obvious fact. “This is real life, and sometimes, love isn’t enough. There are still problems.”
“Like what?”
Adam would like to know that answer, too. Pausing by the kitchenette, he waited for Rachel’s answer while considering he might need to pour himself a drink if she took too much longer with all her drama.
“Like the fact that I’m going to get fat…ter.”
“What?!”
Adam seconded Killian’s outraged response by flipping open the refrigerator and reaching for one of the many miniature liquor bottles. He didn’t care what and didn’t need a glass. All he needed was something to smother the fire raging in his groin because he really wanted to punish Rachel for that answer.
“And my boobs…already starting to sag.”
“I have no earthly idea of what you are babbling on about.”
“Oh, come on, Killian.” Rachel had worked herself up into a fit now, all flashing eyes and flushed cheeks—ripe for the picking. “You don’t think I don’t remember what those amazons at the bonfire looked like. That I didn’t read your file. I’m short, fat, and frumpy, and you’re used to dating swimsuit model lookalikes.”
“Okay, first off, you’re not short. You’re dainty,” Killian shot back, looking every inch as pissed as Rachel. “Second off, you’re not fat, you’re plush and soft and rounded just like I like. Third off, I don’t care what you wear as long as you’re naked when you get into my bed at night.”
The drink didn’t help. He couldn’t stay away from her, needing to be close enough to touch, taste, or just drown in her sweet scent. Adam prowled forward, gaze locked on his Rachel even as she roared back at Killian.
“Don’t even start that charming bullshit. You know what I mean.”
“Yeah,” Adam agreed, because he surely did. “You mean to say that my love is so shallow as to be based on nothing more than appearance.”
The way she started made the aggression prowling in his spirit claw that much harder to be released. The primal man inside wanted very desperately to shed his decency and civility, to be released to hunt, capture, devour. He’d start with those trembling, pouty fuck-me lips.
“No…I…”
“Yes.” Adam nodded, aroused by the way she stuttered and shifted away from him. The scent of feminine arousal mixed with her look of wariness triggered all of Adam’s primal urges. He pursued her, cornering her not only with his body but his words.
“Yes. It doesn’t matter to you that we’ve fucked dozens of gorgeous women and were ne
ver once motivated to say ‘I love you’ to them. Never say it to any woman.” Adam pressed her right into Killian, not once releasing her wide-eyed gaze. “I’m going to tan your ass for that later.”
“Adam—”
“If you tell me I don’t love you, I’ll beat that pussy, too.”
She looked so sad, so scared that her worry reached right down to his soul. Adam couldn’t bear feeling her pain, much less hearing it as it whispered out of her. “You know you’ll get bored of me eventually.”
She almost broke him. A hairsbreadth from giving her all his tenderness and comfort, Adam about folded, but Killian’s boisterous interruption broke the spell her honey gaze had wrapped him in.
“Ah-ha!”
Like a triumphant detective solving the greatest mystery of all time, Killian beamed over Rachel’s head with a pride that almost made Adam smile. He could do that now because he knew it would all work out. Rachel loved them, and what fear she had would just take time to lose. As long as the outcome wasn’t in doubt, Adam could give her that.
He’d even put all his efforts into sweetly seducing the worry out of her head, but not tonight. Tonight, the little darling still owed him big-time for the past two weeks of hell. Adam intended to collect. He figured that moment was just about on them. Time to start preparing. That began with the painful task of releasing Rachel.
“See? Didn’t I tell you my plan would work?” Killian gloated as Adam passed by. He spared a dirty look for his partner for taking all the credit.
“I don’t remember you ever being agreeable about bringing her out here.”
“Yeah, but once I got onboard, I transformed your stupid idea into brilliance.” Killian smirked, seeming to have forgotten the argument that had nearly brought them to blows for a second time in two weeks.
* * * *
“I don’t know why the two of you are acting all victorious,” Rachel snapped, earning her an annoyed look from both men. “Just because I said I love you doesn’t mean I’m taking you back.”
Free to breathe the fresh air, she’d gotten her vigor and sass back. So she’d crumbled completely, confessed all to them, and now they were gloating over her and their plan. It still irritated her, even if she’d begun to realize she had actually won.
The hardening realization that they loved her didn’t fill Rachel with bulbous joy. Instead, it worried her because now she really had something to lose. Perhaps she was as screwed up as Killian accused her of being because she should be happy. So why wasn’t she?
“Ah, honey,” Killian crooned to her. His big hand cupped her cheek in its rough, warm grip. With gentle pressure, he forced her gaze up to meet his shining one. No fake smile tipped his lips up. This time, they curled with slight hint of a true smile. “I know you like to worry everything to death, but I don’t get why.
“Adam,” he said, jerking his head to where Adam lurked in the shadows, “I get his issues and I know he hasn’t talked to you about them. It’s hard for him, you see, because his family didn’t know how to love. He grew up with all sorts of insecurities—”
“Hey!” Adam barked from the sidelines, clearly insulted by that. It didn’t stop Killian, who remained fully focused on her.
“—so I get why he’s a mess, but you I don’t get it.”
Rachel had come too far, revealed too much to back down now. This last bit, it didn’t come easy. For most of her life, she preferred to ignore her own self-doubts, but that didn’t get rid of them. It didn’t make it feel any less silly as she tried to explain.
“I was never picked first.”
“What?” Obviously, Killian needed more than that.
“I never got picked first for anything. I was never a teacher’s pet or a playground darling. My yearbooks were filled with ‘have a nice summer’ because nobody knew me well enough to write anything else.” Just talking about it brought up all the old depressed feelings of always being on the outside socially. “I never had more than two friends through school. Never got asked to the dance or the prom. Nobody ever seemed to notice me.
“And you,” Rachel whispered, looking up hopelessly at Killian, “you’re like the A-crowd and I’m way back in C-land.”
If he laughed at her, Rachel really might hit him. Killian wanted to. She could see it shining in his eyes, but he managed to surprise her. Instead of telling her how dumb she sounded or even arguing her point, he showed that he actually understood.
“And that’s why you’re always running off, isn’t it?” His thumb brushed over her cheek, making her gaze dip for a moment as she savored the small touch. “You like it when we chase. It makes you feel wanted.”
“Maybe.” Thinking back to the very first time she’d met Killian at the police station all the way until now, Rachel couldn’t deny it. “It makes me feel…special.”
“And you are, sweetheart. You are our heart and soul. Without you, we’re empty,” Killian assured her with such depth of emotion, Rachel could have sighed right into him. She would have if his lips hadn’t kicked up in a new, wicked direction. “That’s just why Adam and I have devised a way for you to run without having to throw us out.”
Rachel couldn’t help but to return his smile, finally feeling the lightness of euphoria sinking in with the realization this would work out. “I take it the game is about to begin?”
“Oh, yeah, darlin’.” He savored the words with such joy that Rachel could tell he looked forward to what came next. “Take a look at the screen.”
Rachel rolled her head in the direction he nodded to find Adam had turned on the TV. Leaning back against the altar with a remote in hand, he studied the movie playing out before him. She barely glanced at it before throwing Killian smirk.
“We’re beginning with porn?” That sounded old hat to her. At least this one was a ménage— “Oh, my God. That’s the sheriff!”
Before she could focus on the man helping Alex screw some blonde, the screen flipped to an image of a vacant bed. One lonely bed after another flipped through the monitor while Adam scanned the channels and Rachel tried to understand what the hell was going on.
That hadn’t just been a tape of Alex. That had to have been live-action footage because he’d been wearing the exact same shirt not a couple of hours ago. That made this closed-circuit TV. Rachel’s eyes glanced at the cameras overhead. Her fear was confirmed when Adam glanced back at Killian to offer him a smirk.
“Looks like nobody’s busy. I guess they’re all in the ballroom, waiting for the action to start.”
“What does that mean?” Adam didn’t even look her way, making her eyes dart to Killian. “What does that mean?”
“It means,” Adam finally answered her, “that the next time you want to handle private business, you should do so in private.”
Translated, that meant he intended revenge for being publicly humiliated by airing her apology to all his perverted friends. They’d turned the camera lens on her. That should have had her heart racing but not to pump molten lust through her body. Rachel stood there vibrating, deathly afraid and horribly aroused by what they planned next.
“See,” Killian purred in a voice soft enough to keep her transfixed on the new images flashing through the screen. Each one showed nothing but empty paths lined with towering, perfectly-groomed bushes. “Sometimes, when a filly is too wild to tame, we bring her out here and give her this one chance to escape.
“All you have to is make it through the maze. Find the exit and we’ll take you home to love you sweet and tender all through the night. No punishments. Fail and—”
The screen came alive with the image of a sea of moving people. There had to be hundreds, men and women.
“—we’re going to put on a show, teach those punks how it’s done.”
“Killian, I—” Hell, she didn’t know what she had to say to that.
“Are you going to call red-light now?”
Part of her wanted to, but she couldn’t. The wanton need gripping her from the inside
wouldn’t let her chicken out. It didn’t care what they did or who saw as long as they were touching her. With their touch she could forget anything and just feel.
“No.” Rachel looked up at him and, with all sincerity, told him her honest position. “I intend to find that exit.”
“Well, then.” Killian broke into a grin, looking strangely satisfied despite the hunger flaring in his gaze. He glanced over at Adam, taking Rachel’s gaze with him. For as dangerous as he’d looked all night, before her eyes Rachel could have sworn he’d grown new muscles just to capture her with.
Over his shoulder, the mirrored image of the patio caught her attention. Rachel knew then they’d gone live, but she didn’t doubt or wonder if they’d opened up their previous conversation to the masses. They’d kept the true intimacy private.
“I guess you better run, darlin’.”
Killian’s helpful suggestion had her gazing up at him with the realization now meant exactly that. Still, she stood there staring at him, trying to figure out if any of this was actually real. It felt real, seemed real, but somehow she couldn’t escape the sudden worry she was actually dreaming.
If she was, then things were about to get very heated. Killian made that point with another silent glance at Adam. Damn if he hadn’t gotten bigger. He appeared to be growing, or she was shrinking. That must be it because Rachel could almost feel her body trying to will itself into invisibility, just like all prey did when the predator had focused in on them.
“Run.”
Chapter 37
Rachel didn’t have to be told twice. She didn’t even know if one of them had or if that thought had manifested itself, forcing itself through the anticipation to finally snap her into action. It all happened way too fast for her to catch more than the flash of Adam’s legs as he leapt over the altar, the brush of Killian’s fingertips as she barely managed to dodge his grasp.
All Rachel knew was she went from standing in the middle of the patio to slamming through the cold bars of garden’s gate. It slammed closed behind her, catching one of the men with a grunt. Then she was simply lost.
Penn, Jenny - Rachel's Seduction [Cattleman's Club] (Siren Publishing Ménage Everlasting) Page 38