“Anyway, it’s only for a month or so. No big deal. It just sounded like fun to me. And Anna’s great. So. That’s all.”
She was still silent. He didn’t know what she was thinking.
“When I saw those pictures, I’d hoped . . .” She stopped and started again. “Have you given any more thought to what I said a few weeks ago? About how you might need to work on your ability to have permanent relationships, just in general? Because this seems like a venture in the opposite direction.”
Ben looked out the window. Just the stupid sky. Why wasn’t there anything interesting to see out her window?
“I know you think there’s something wrong with me, because I like dating around and don’t want to settle down, and that’s all about my dad or whatever. But I just haven’t found anyone I care enough about, that’s all. And how could I turn down this offer from Anna? Not everything is about my fear of being abandoned or abandoning other people or whatever you want to call it.”
Dr. Lindsey shook her head and smiled at him.
“I’ve never called it that, Ben. And I don’t think anything is wrong with you. You know that’s not what this is about. But attaching yourself to someone you think of as unattainable seems like . . . a particular kind of choice, don’t you think? At least I’m glad that Anna is in on it, and doesn’t think the string of dates you take her on is a relationship.”
“Hey!” he said. “I’m up front with people about just wanting something casual.”
She sighed.
“I know you are, but—”
“Yes, fine, a handful of them have thought we were in a relationship, but I think that’s all due to my natural magnetism,” he said.
That didn’t even make her smile, but then, this time he hadn’t expected it to.
“But isn’t this better?” he asked her. “No one is expecting anything different from me this time! Actually, Anna almost tried to trick me into being in those photos and coming down to visit her in L.A.—her manager didn’t want me to know it was all fake, but Anna felt bad, so she let me in on it. I was kind of pissed about that at first, actually.”
Dr. Lindsey raised an eyebrow.
“Did you tell Anna you were pissed?” she asked.
Oh God, he shouldn’t have said that.
“It wasn’t a big deal,” he said. “Plus, it wouldn’t have accomplished anything.”
He’d gotten his tiny revenge on Anna at the bar, which had led to really hot sex later—it had been fine.
Dr. Lindsey massaged the side of her neck.
“The accomplishment there would have been yours. It can be valuable to share your emotions, good and bad, with people. Not to change their behavior, but for you to tell them how you feel. And to acknowledge your feelings to yourself.”
What was even the point of that?
“It doesn’t matter—Anna and I won’t be doing this for that long; there was no need for all of that.”
Dr. Lindsey opened her mouth and then closed it. She took a deep breath before she finally said something.
“Ben. What are you so afraid of happening? If you’re honest with someone about your feelings? If you stay with a woman long enough to get attached to her?”
She always said stuff like this and he didn’t understand why. Why was she making this small thing into such a big one?
“I’m not afraid of anything! It’s just easier this way. More fun. I do get attached to people, you know that. But—”
Her buzzer rang.
“My next client must be downstairs. But, Ben, I want you to think about what I said. And what I asked you.”
He picked up his messenger bag and stood up.
“Yeah, fine, I’ll think about it.”
He had no plans to actually think about anything from that session, though, other than how thrilled he was he hadn’t accidentally let anything about Dawn slip out. He could only imagine what Dr. Lindsey would have to say about that.
Fifteen
On Friday night, Simon was with Anna in the back seat of the limo on the way to the airport to pick up Ben. Simon had reacted . . . strongly, when she’d told him there had been a slight change in their plan.
It had all started out well when Simon had first called.
“The pictures looked fantastic, Anna! And I congratulate myself on a great job with the statement.”
Simon had put out a very coy statement about how Anna wouldn’t comment about her personal life but she was very happy, et cetera, et cetera. It had done exactly what they’d wanted it to do.
“Congratulations on a great job with the statement, Simon,” she said.
“I know, I know, thank you. He’s coming this weekend, yes? Like we planned?”
“He’s coming this weekend, yes. Florence is getting him a ticket to arrive on Friday night.”
Simon hummed in approval.
“Great, perfect, wonderful. And he has no clue this is all for show?”
Anna couldn’t help but laugh.
“Oh no. He has every clue. I told him.”
There was a long, ominous silence on the other end of the line.
“What do you mean, ‘he has every clue’? What do you mean, you told him? Have you lost your mind?”
She should have expected him to react this way.
“I haven’t lost my mind, I swear. I promise, it’s fine. He gets it. He’s savvy, he’s amused by the whole thing, he was playing for the cameras when we were at the bar as much as I was.” That was technically true, but only because she had the feeling that neither of them was performing—they were as intent on each other at the bar as those pictures looked. “Plus, this makes it easier. This way, I can make sure he does everything I want him to do, instead of just hoping he does.”
Simon’s voice got louder.
“Sure, you can make sure he does everything you want him to, until he spills his guts to the world for a fat check, or until he sells pictures of you to a tabloid, or until he blackmails you that he’ll do one of those things unless you keep giving him money.”
She should have known Simon would assume Ben would be an asshole. That was his job, after all.
“Ben won’t do that. I know, that’s what everyone thinks when they get caught up with someone like that. But he’s proven himself in a few ways already, otherwise I wouldn’t have even considered this. I’m not a babe in the woods here.”
Ben knew so much about her after Palm Springs, and he’d kept his mouth shut. She wasn’t worried that he’d change that now. Simon might think she was a fool for this, but she trusted Ben.
“Well, you’re acting like it,” Simon said. He sighed. “I don’t mean to sound like an ass, but it’s my job to protect you, both as your manager and as your friend. You’ve had a tough time in the past year or so, and I don’t want some hot grifter to come into your life and fuck up all of the hard work you’ve been doing lately, that’s all.”
Anna figured that the only way for him to relax about this was to meet Ben. Therefore, the trip to the airport.
“I still can’t believe . . .” he said, as they waited in the car.
“Simon. Give it a rest. He knows. It’s done, it’s been done. It’ll be fine.”
He grunted. “I’ll be the judge of that.”
A few seconds later, her phone buzzed.
Just landed—I’ll be outside in a few minutes
She texted him back.
The driver is waiting for you at baggage claim. See you in the car
In a little while, the driver opened the back door with a flourish, and Ben slid into the car.
“Good evening.” He smiled that slow, sexy smile at her, and she was suddenly very resentful that Simon was here in the limo with them. Ben sat next to her and leaned in for a kiss.
“Good evening, Ben,” Simon said.
Ben stopped and turned to the other side of the car.
“Simon.” He didn’t visibly react, but Anna felt like a jerk for not warning Ben that Simon would be with her. She should have told him.
“Nice to meet you again,” Ben said to Simon. “What a welcome mat this is.”
Simon nodded briskly.
“Yes, right. Welcome to Los Angeles, et cetera.” He checked that the opaque glass barrier between them and the driver was up and the intercom was off. Then he turned back to Ben. “I’m here because I want to be crystal clear that you understand all of this. As Anna may—or may not—have informed you, my original plan was slightly different. This is very important for Anna’s career, and I want to make sure you understand the landscape, and your role here.”
Ben’s eyes narrowed slightly, but the pleasant expression on his face didn’t change.
“Yes, Anna let me know that you thought the better way to go about this would be to trick me into it. I’m glad she disagreed.” He sat back against the plush limo seat, somehow getting farther away from Anna in the process. “To be . . . clear, Simon—just because I have a pretty face doesn’t mean I’m stupid. I know the drill. Anna and I are friends. I’m not going to embarrass her. She’s told me exactly what she needs from me.”
Simon sat forward, but Ben relaxed against his seat. He didn’t look at Anna. She wished he would. She wished Simon would, too. She’d thought he just wanted to meet Ben for real this time, to reassure himself about him. She didn’t think he’d start grilling him as soon as he got in the car.
“Guys, we don’t have to—”
Simon ignored her.
“You know that as soon as the premiere is over, she’s done with you, right?” Simon looked right at Ben. “If you try to do anything in an attempt to capitalize on this, I’m telling you now, it will not go well for you. Anna’s had enough to deal with in the past few years—I don’t want this—you—to make things harder on her than they need to be.”
“Simon. That’s enough,” Anna said. “Ben’s not the enemy here. He and I talked about all of this at length. Everything will be fine.”
Ben didn’t look at her but kept that same light, friendly, angry smile on his face.
“You heard her, Simon. Everything will be fine. I appreciate that Anna is your client, but I sure as hell don’t work for you, so do me a favor and don’t talk to me like I’m the help.”
Anna tried to diffuse this again.
“Ben, he just wanted to—”
“This is very high stakes.” Simon looked straight at Ben. “If you fuck any of this up, it’ll be Anna who will pay the price. And this—all of this—is highly confidential.” He pulled a sheaf of papers out of his bag. “Speaking of, here’s an NDA that we’d like you to sign.”
Simon hadn’t told her he’d not only put together an NDA, but brought it tonight.
“Simon! Enough.” Anna put her hand on Ben’s knee. “He knows how important this is. He doesn’t have to do that. Relax.”
Ben didn’t look at her, but took the papers from Simon.
“I’m happy to sign an NDA, Simon.”
Simon handed him a pen with a very smug expression on his face.
“Excellent, I’ve flagged the pages where . . .”
Ben was still talking.
“Obviously, I’ll need a lawyer to look at it first, so I’ll get back to you later this week.”
Anna bit her lip so she didn’t laugh out loud. He was good.
They traveled the rest of the way to Simon’s house in silence. After they dropped him off, she turned to Ben.
“I am so, so sorry about that. I just thought he wanted to go over the game plan, not give you the third degree.”
Ben shrugged and tossed his arm around her.
“No big deal, don’t worry about it. Now can I do what I’ve been thinking about ever since I got in this limo?”
He pulled her face to his and kissed her, hard and long. She gave herself over to that kiss. There was more that she’d wanted to say about Simon, and to make sure Ben wasn’t upset, but she forgot everything other than what it felt like to kiss him, to touch him. God, she’d missed his touch.
“You’ve only been thinking about that since you got in the limo?” she asked, as they finally pulled away. “Because I’ve been thinking about this all week.”
His hand slid up her thigh.
“Mmmm. One question: How long will it take us to get to your place?”
She tried to think, but she couldn’t quite concentrate, not with his fingers pulling at her nipple in that way he knew she loved.
“About half an hour,” she said.
He bent down to kiss her neck.
“Good,” he said. “Now, tell me what you’ve been thinking about all week, and I’ll tell you what I’ve been thinking about.”
The look in his eye was that hot, insatiable look from the bar that night. But this time, no one was watching them.
“Well,” she said, as she reached for his belt, “before you got in the limo, I was thinking that it’s been almost a whole week, and I didn’t know how I could survive being in here with you for the whole hour it would take to get back to my place.”
He looked down at her fingers, which had already unzipped his jeans, and smiled.
“And what did you think we might do about that?”
He tugged her dress down and popped her nipple out of her bra. He squeezed it between his thumb and forefinger until she arched her back.
“I thought . . .” She wrapped her hand around his cock. It was already hard. “I thought that if you came as prepared this time as you did the other times, that we could take care of that right here in the car.”
He reached down, flipped his messenger bag open, and pulled out a condom.
“If?” he asked, his eyes locked on hers. “Are you saying you doubted me?”
She tore the packet open and unrolled the condom over his cock.
“Not for a second.” She straddled him in one fast move. She loved the surprised, aroused look on his face. He reached up under her dress and hooked his fingers around her thong.
“Tear it off,” she said.
He took it with both hands and ripped. He dropped the pieces to the floor.
“Oh, you liked that last time, did you?” he asked.
“I liked that a lot,” she said. “That’s another thing I’ve been thinking about all week.”
She leaned forward and kissed him hard. He tangled his fingers in her hair and pulled her toward him. They kissed as they jolted on the road, and she wanted him so bad she almost came just there.
“But I’ve been thinking about this part even more,” she said. She lifted her hips and slid herself down, down, until he was deep inside her.
He looked at her with that intent look in his eyes, and it made her feel like she was going to catch on fire. She wanted it hard, and fast, and now, and she could tell from the way he looked at her and touched her that he did, too. So she rode him just like she’d fantasized about, and it was even better than she’d imagined, because he had his hands around her waist, clutching her, moving her up and down, his breath on her neck, his lips on her collarbone, his tongue on her nipples. And when he brushed her nipples with his teeth, she went faster and faster until he clutched her even harder and gasped into her chest, and then she arched her back and collapsed into his lap.
“What were you thinking about this week?” she said in his ear, after she finally slid off his lap and back onto the seat next to him. She picked up her torn underwear and put it in her purse.
He leaned in close to her.
“I was hoping,” he said in her ear, “that you had some bacon around for breakfast tomorrow. I can do a breakfast sausage but, you know, it’s not ideal.”
She smacked him on the shoulder and they laughed
together until they pulled up to her house.
* * *
—
After they had dinner, and another round of sex—longer and slower this time—they went outside to Anna’s backyard with a bottle of wine. The sun had gone down, but it was still warm outside, with a cool breeze. Ben took a sip from the glass she poured him and looked out over the pool.
“Was everything okay at work?” Anna asked him. “I mean, about all of this.”
Ben had been more nervous to talk to his boss about their “relationship” than he’d let on to Anna. Thank goodness, that conversation had gone well.
“Mostly fine—my boss was great about it when I told her, and thanked me for warning her in advance. No one else has really said anything.” Roger had dropped by his office that week, and Ben had sort of expected him to bring it up, but he’d just congratulated Ben for the shoot—the client was thrilled with the results, and that it had come in under budget, even with the delays. Apparently, when a billion-dollar tech company wanted to give them more business because of Ben, no one at work cared what else he did, at work or at home. “Though some people have given me some looks like they’re dying to ask me about you.” He laughed. “I haven’t encouraged them.”
“Good.” Anna smiled at him. She was sitting cross-legged next to him in that way she always did. Her hair was pulled up on top of her head, and her lips were still pink from how much he’d kissed her. He smiled back at her.
“So. What’s the plan for tomorrow?” he asked her.
“Something super wholesome, I thought. Well, Simon and I thought. The farmers market.”
He ignored the “Simon” part of that sentence. That fucking guy. If it hadn’t been for Anna, he would have refused to have anything more to do with this whole thing, once Simon talked to him like that. He’d also been annoyed at Anna for blindsiding him with Simon in the limo when he’d thought he’d have her to himself. But he pushed that away.
“The farmers market! The perfect place for me—I just love to cook so much! You know how I feel about fresh fruit and vegetables, can’t get enough of them!”
While We Were Dating Page 21