by Jenna Stone
Sarah did not respond immediately, but was deliberate as she chose her words. Quinn had claimed that he was “broken,” and now Sarah had begun to understand why.
“Quinn,” she whispered as she continued to stroke the skin over his collarbone lightly with her fingers. “It wasn’t your fault. You must forgive yourself.”
“I’ll always think that there must have been something that I could have done, something that might have saved her.”
Silence fell between them for a moment. Sarah wrapped her arms more firmly about Quinn’s shoulders and held him.
“I didna think that I’d ever feel again. I had expected to live the rest of my days as a shell of a man…until I met ye, Sarah,” he confessed, stroking her hair softly. “When ye came crashing intae my life, I felt happiness for the first time in a long time. When I first realized that I had feelings for ye, it was as if my heart was torn open fresh. All of my thoughts as fears about what had happened tae Mairi came crashing back and it was more painful that I could have ever imagined that it would be.”
“Is that why you left?” Sarah asked softly.
“Aye. I needed tae be by myself so that I could grieve for her properly. Having felt nothing for so long, it felt as though I was raw inside. I was happy tae feel something even though it hurt sae bad.”
“I’m glad you came back,” Sarah confessed as she looked up into Quinn’s gray eyes. The hurt that she saw there was astonishing.
“I didna expect tae have feelings for ye, lass. But it seems that the more I try tae fight what it is that I feel for ye, the stronger it becomes.”
“I’m sorry, Quinn, but I’m not her,” Sarah said as a pang of jealously overtook her. She cast her eyes down towards the floor, feeling the unwelcome sting of tears building behind her eyes.
“Och, lass. That’s not why I want ye. I ken that yer not her. I doona want ye tae think that I’m settling for you in her stead!” Quinn said adamantly as he pulled away from Sarah and forced her chin up so that she would look into his eyes. “What happened tae Mairi broke something deep inside of me. I thought that I would never recover from losing her, in fact, there were many times when I wanted to die. Ye changed that, Sarah. When ye came into my life it was like the sunlight flooded suddenly into the darkness that had become my life. I want ye,” he said with conviction. “I think that it was because of ye, because of these feelings that ye’ve kindled inside of me that I was finally able tae grieve for Mairi and lay her spirit tae rest.”
Quinn trailed the backs of his fingers lightly over Sarah’s jaw line, gently tracing his way down to her chin. The pad of his thumb brushed softly over her lower lip and the desire that he saw building in her eyes told him the answer that he had been seeking.
She wanted him in return.
“I’m worrit that I’ll fail ye. I’m worrit that when ye need me I will fail ye as I did Mairi,” Quinn revealed. He stroked Sarah’s face longingly, trailing his index finger lightly down her cheek.
“Fail me?” Sarah asked haltingly, shaking her head sternly to cast off Quinn’s self-doubt. “You’d never fail me! You saved my life…you saved Mairi’s life,” Sarah pleaded, willing Quinn to believe in himself as she did.
“If I lost ye, if I failed ye or if Mairi was hurt I’d…” Quinn trailed off. He shook his head and struggled to find the right words to express himself. “It would kill me if anything happened tae ye!”
“Nothing is going to happen to me!” Sarah said firmly. “You are strong and brave and-”
“And sometimes being strong or brave isna enough! I’m just worrit that I willna be able tae protect ye from Adahy and if I canna, it would be more that I could bear,” Quinn said, his handsome features racked with emotion.
“Look at me, Quinn,” Sarah said firmly as she grasped Quinn’s face and forced his eyes to meet hers.
“I believe in you. I have never felt this way about someone before. You’ve brought joy and happiness into my life. I trust you to protect me and Mairi and I know that-”
“May I kiss ye?” he asked suddenly, interrupting Sarah’s defense of his character.
“Will you run away this time?” she asked, searching his face.
“Nay, I won’t run from ye. I’m sorry for that,” he said sincerely.
A moment passed in silence and all that Quinn could hear was the soft rising and falling of Sarah’s breath and the thundering of his own heart while he awaited her permission.
“Yes. You may kiss me,” she whispered as she bit her lower lip and contemplated what she had just embarked upon. Sarah knew that this kiss was the beginning of something between her and Quinn. She hoped that it would be.
Sarah held her breath as Quinn leaned towards her.
His gaze dropped to her lips, causing tingles of anticipation to run the length of her spine.
He lifted his eyes to meet hers and came nearer, his pulse hammering in his veins.
His mouth brushed softly against hers, causing butterflies to take flight in her stomach. She was startled by his tenderness as he slid his arms around her to pull her closer, pressing her body intimately against his
Quinn’s lips moved over hers, sending a shivering sensation all the way to her toes. She abandoned herself to the thrilling feeling and moaned softly against his lips as his kiss became more urgent, more insistent. Quinn’s tongue traced her full lower lip and when she granted him entry into her mouth, the kiss took her to new heights of pleasure. Never had she dreamed that kissing a man could feel so wonderful.
Quinn pulled back from her and traced his fingers lightly over her cheek. He rested his forehead against hers and listened to his heart thunder in his chest. How could this woman unnerve him so?
Sarah stared into his eyes. They were so very close to hers. She focused on their gray depths and saw the deep penetrating hurt that resided there. She also saw an honesty that she had never witnessed in the eyes of a man. Quinn Murray held her now in his arms and bared his scars, his vulnerability openly to her.
She vowed silently to piece back together Quinn’s broken parts. She vowed to work as hard as she could to restore love and joy in his wounded eyes. Oh how she wanted this man, broken parts and all.
Sarah slid her hand from beneath Quinn’s shirt and grazed her fingers over the warm skin of his neck until they settled behind the base of his head. Quinn closed his eyes in response to her touch and his breathing became ragged. His gray eyes opened and locked with hers as she raised her lips to meet his.
The kiss began as a question, as her lips brushed lightly across his. The question was answered when Quinn claimed her lips beneath his own, kissing her urgently now, with all of his pent up longing. His lips surged over Sarah’s and he buried his hand in her thick, black hair. His tongue was probing, begging for entry to her sweet, wet mouth, and when she gladly yielded to him, Quinn groaned with pleasure. His tongue dipped into her sweet mouth and when it brushed against hers, Quinn thought that he might combust from the raw desire that Sarah’s mouth kindled within him.
Sarah welcomed Quinn’s kiss and she moaned with pleasure as his tongue dueled with her own. Her palm pressed against his sinewy chest and she relished the taste of his insistent mouth upon her own.
Quinn broke away from Sarah, his breathing shaky now. He hovered just beyond her lips and closed his eyes, savoring how good it felt to allow himself the pleasure of kissing Sarah’s sweet lips. He kissed her lips softly once more and then pulled her head down to rest against his chest.
“I didn’t know that kissing could feel like that,” Sarah confessed, visibly shaken from her bodily response to Quinn’s kiss.
Quinn smiled arrogantly, pleased with himself for unnerving Sarah. “What a gift tae ken that I was the first man tae kiss ye properly.”
Sarah blushed. “I liked it very much.”
“Did ye now?” he teased as he nibbled at her ear and sent shivers coursing down her spine.
“Yes, I did,” she whispered honestly, reveling in the ne
w sensations that kissing Quinn had given her.
His mouth met hers again, this time with a fierce possession that lit Sarah’s blood afire. His lips boldly coaxed Sarah’s apart and she yielded to him eagerly. Quinn’s tongue swept into her mouth, staking claim to her with its hot yet gentle touch.
Sarah was emboldened and she pressed her tongue against his, eliciting a growl of approval from deep within Quinn’s throat.
Overwhelmed, Sarah broke away from Quinn, shaken from the affect that his kiss had upon her. It took her a moment to catch her breath and regain control.
“What did I do tae deserve ye?” Quinn murmured, his gray eyes glowing with affection as he caressed Sarah’s cheek tenderly with his long fingers. “How is it possible that ye came tae me right at the moment when I needed ye the most?”
Sarah smiled and leaned into his caress. “I was just thinking the same thing,” she confessed, looking up at him. “When you found me, I was at such a point of desperation. I thought that I was going to die! And then to find this…whatever it is between us, it’s so unexpected, but so wonderful that I can hardly fathom that it’s true.”
“Aye, it is. Mayhap we were meant tae find each other on that day. I can only suppose that we were,” Quinn said softly as his fingers trailed lightly over the skin of Sarah’s collarbone.
She closed her eyes and surrendered herself completely to the sensation that Quinn’s touch brought her. It was delicious, and she wanted to enjoy it.
Chapter Five
“No! Stop! No…please!” Sarah cried out into the darkness of the cabin. Her head thrashed from side-to-side as she writhed in fitful protest.
Quinn leapt from his pallet next to the fire and was at her side in an instant.
“Shh…” he whispered as he brushed Sarah’s hair back from her face and gently tried to rouse her to wakefulness.
His efforts were futile. She was deep within the grips of her nightmare and her frantic cries, her pleading tore at Quinn’s heart.
Someone had hurt Sarah badly. She was afraid.
“No!” she called out again, wrestling beneath the blankets and flinging out her arm in protest.
“Shh…it’s alright. I’m here, Sarah. Yer safe,” he whispered. Unsure of what else to do, Quinn lay down next to her on the bed and gathered her flailing body against his chest.
Much to his surprise, Sarah stopped fighting and fell quiet. Her breathing slowed and she turned instinctively towards Quinn. She nuzzled against his chest and placed her open palm on his pectoral muscles.
Pleased and surprised by her reaction, Quinn kissed her hair and wrapped his arms securely around her.
“Yer alright now, lass. I’ll keep ye safe,” he whispered as he looked down at the beautiful woman he cradled against his chest. She was so innocent, so trusting of him. Quinn wanted more than anything to protect her, to keep her safe. To keep her safe as he had not been able to do for Mairi.
He studied her openly now, able to observe her fully now that her captivating green-brown eyes were closed in peaceful slumber. Her dark, full lashes rested on her cheeks. She looked so young. So beautiful and innocent. Her lips were full and curled up delicately at the side. It was almost as if her face held the slightest hint of a smile. Her skin was the most stunning shade of olive and it was unmarred in its perfection.
Quinn’s eyes lingered over Sarah’s lips. He fought the sudden urge to lean down and kiss her. She had tasted so sweet when they kissed. He had not been able to get the thought of kissing Sarah out of his mind. He scolded himself. To take advantage of her while she was fast asleep would never do. He wanted her awake and willing when he kissed her. He wanted to see the fire dance in her eyes again.
Quinn swallowed hard as the gravity of his feelings settled in. He listened closely to the steady thudding in his chest, the sound of his heart beating rhythmic and strong. Was he capable of loving her? Could she and the babe heal the wounds of his soul? Could they piece together his scared and broken heart?
Quinn looked down at Sarah again. She looked so right in his arms. He kissed her forehead again and pulled her closer. She moaned sweetly and snuggled into his chest. Quinn smiled. For a fleeting instant, he knew that he could love her.
He wanted to give Sarah the world. He struggled to push away the feelings that tarnished his newfound happiness. No matter how hard he tried, the thought crept back into his mind. Sarah deserved better. Sarah deserved a man that was whole and unbroken.
..ooOoo..
Sarah sat up abruptly in bed. She was startled into wakefulness and disoriented by her surroundings. Her eyes scanned the small cabin and she leaned back onto the featherbed.
Quinn’s cabin. I’m still here. I’m still safe.
Mairi!
She jumped from the bed and pushed the disheveled black masses of her hair back from her face.
Where is my daughter?
Her heart beat rapidly as adrenaline coursed through her frazzled veins. Her eyes darted around the room and when they settled on Mairi, she froze in place.
A broad smile overtook her worried face and her hand flitted involuntarily up to her heart. Tears welled in her eyes and she bit her lower lip to force them back.
Quinn sat in the chair before the crackling fire, head leaned back against the chair. He was fast asleep. His shirt was off and the fire-light danced over his tanned, muscled frame. His unbound hair was free about his shoulders, the thick chestnut masses curling slightly.
Sarah’s heart caught in her throat. In his large, work-hardened hands slept her sweet daughter. Quinn had Mairi clasped to his chest, her bare skin against his. Mairi’s tiny fingers were splayed across Quinn’s bare shoulder and her head rested contently against his upper chest. Her mouth hung open and she made occasional sucking motions as she nestled against Quinn in the fire-light.
A tear cascaded down Sarah’s cheek despite her best intentions not to cry. This was how a family was supposed to look. This was what Mairi deserved. She deserved a father who loved her, who would protect her. This was what Sarah wanted more than anything. She admitted silently to herself that she wanted Quinn. She wanted all of him, even the broken parts. She wanted him for Mairi and also she wanted him for herself.
What sort of magic had Quinn Murray cast over her to make her feel this way so quickly? Sarah had hardened her heart towards men, never having been dealt more than pain or suffering by their hands. Quinn was different. He was gentle and caring and his touch stirred something within Sarah that she had never dared to imagine was possible.
She wanted Quinn and it terrified her. Sarah had never believed in love at first sight, but this giant of a man, this gentle Highlander was causing her to question her preconceived notions about love.
Sarah lowered herself quietly back onto the bed, not wanting to wake them. She watched them for a few minutes, fighting to sear this image into her memory. She wanted to remember Quinn and Mairi just like this. She wanted to remember him this way in case she didn’t get to keep him.
Chapter Six
Quinn awoke before dawn and had to peel Sarah away from his chest before he could crawl out of bed. He had taken to sleeping beside her and had found that his presence calmed her nightmares. He smiled as he carefully unwrapped her arms from his chest and settled the quilts about her. The woman slept like a log.
He pressed his lips to her forehead and watched as her lips curled in the slightest hint of a smile. Damn, how she affected him. He loved that she responded so easily to his touch, even when she was fast asleep.
He padded across the floor and put a log on the fire, not wanting his girls to get cold while they slept. He sat before the hearth and laced up his boots, then buttoned his heavy winter coat. Winter was upon them and it would be cold this morning.
Ever so quietly, he walked over and knelt before Mairi’s wooden crate that sat next to the bed. He stroked her cheek with his index finger.
“Take care of yer mam today, princess,” he whispered. He touched his index
finger to his lips, kissed it and then touched his finger to Mairi’s tiny nose.
He bent down and kissed Sarah’s cheek before he left, inhaling her sweet scent as she slept.
What am I going tae do with ye, woman? How have ye done this tae me in such a short time?
He shook his head and stepped out into the cold November morning. His girls would need meat to get them through the winter and if there was one thing that Quinn Murray was good at, it was hunting.
..ooOoo..
Sarah awoke to the welcome surprise of sunshine peering through the windows of the small cabin. It had been days since the sun had peeked through the autumn clouds and seeing the glow of sunlight cast on the wall of the cabin lifted Sarah’s spirits considerably. She stretched languidly and noticed the dull aching sensation in her breasts. Mairi hadn’t awoken to nurse last night. She would be hungry.
Sarah leaned over from her cocoon of quilts and looked down at Mairi’s wooden crate next to the bed. It was empty.
Her eyebrows knitted together momentarily and then she cast her worried thoughts aside. Quinn or Malcolm must have her. They fought over her like children with a new toy. She had been surprised by how great the Murray brothers were with Mairi. Or at least how great Quinn and Malcolm were with her. Rowan was another story. He was still working up his courage when it came to Mairi.
Sarah dressed quickly and ran a comb through her hair. They had probably taken Mairi up to Rowan and Anna’s. Sometimes they had breakfast there together. Anna had been in the mood to cook lately. Anna’s rapidly growing belly had come with a growing appetite and she loved to feed her Murray boys.
Smiling as the sunlight warmed her skin, Sarah walked up the hill to the big house. She knocked on the door twice and was greeted with a cheerful “Come in,” from Anna.