by Lena Austin
Struggling to remember, Kelly shut her eyes. “I had a bit of a red haze on, but he said he wanted to write a book on BDSM and he couldn’t do it without me.” Her breath hitched. “And he told me I had a decision to make.”
“Yeah? What kind?” Sadie had an odd, closed look on her face.
“He said I needed to decide if he had a place in my life outside D&s.” Now that she had to repeat it, Kelly admitted to herself that Calder did indeed have a place in her life that went beyond the dungeon. But she couldn’t get around the fact that he’d deceived her. “But I have my pride. He lied. And he might ruin me, still.”
“You don’t believe that any more than I do,” Sadie stated flatly. “Girl, you’re as full of pride as an egg’s full of meat. And so is he, if I’m not mistaken. You both lied to one another. You were both wrong. And pride is the only thing you have. So where does that leave you both?”
Kelly folded her arms and stuck out her chin. “Impasse.”
* * *
Another ball of paper sailed across the room, impacting the wall before landing in the vicinity of the overflowing trashcan. The locker room language that accompanied its flight should have blistered the paint on the apartment wall.
Calder forced his reddened, bleary eyes back to the monitor. “It should be easy, dammit. The outline is there, right in front of your face, asshole. Concentrate!” He poised his fingers over the keyboard once more. “This is paint-by-numbers. Just fill in the blanks.”
The silence between his ears was deafening, as it had been for two weeks. He gave up. Stomping to his mangled and lumpy couch, he threw himself down on its length.
His heart ached. Calder had never believed in that worn-out cliché until his own chest hurt with every breath, sore with fighting the urge to do something so weak as cry.
The apartment he’d cherished as his private retreat now looked dingy and dull. Okay, the pile of dishes in the sink and the inch of dust on all horizontal surfaces didn’t help. The only shine in the whole place was his computer; sleek and glistening like a recrimination.
Calder snarled at the winking display of his screensaver. “Oh, be quiet. I’ll get back in the groove. Eventually.”
The screensaver flickered endlessly, lulling him into the first sleep he’d had in three days. He dreamed of holding Kelly and telling her insistently and repeatedly how much he loved her. “I’d do anything, literally anything, to keep you!” his dream self shouted over a pounding rock beat.
Calder jerked awake, still hearing the pounding. It took him a moment to realize it wasn’t music’s backbeat he heard, but his apartment door being hammered on.
“Keep your shirt on, I’m coming!” he yelled, combing his hair with his fingers.
He yanked the door open to find Sadie leaning in the doorframe as casually as an old friend. “I doubt seriously if you’re coming, and I will, thank you,” she teased as she brushed past him. Sadie stopped just short of the center of his apartment, wrinkling her nose as the odor of unwashed male and equally unwashed dishes hit her.
Calder closed the door carefully. He let Sadie look her fill, knowing she saw the pile of discarded balls of paper and the neglected computer with the same sharp eyes that spotted every speck of dust.
“How can I help you, Sadie?” he asked cautiously.
“You already did, Master Calder. You told me what I came to find out.” Her white teeth flashed in the late afternoon sun. “Actually, you were shouting it to the neighborhood.” She nodded toward the open window.
Calder winced. “I was?” His embarrassment was enough to make him want to move. “I, uh, was having a bad dream.”
“I figured.” Her tone dripped with sarcasm. “But I figure there’s some truth in dreams.” She marched over to the kitchen sink, muttering about getting a sub in here. “Now, what are you going to do about your desires, since you aren’t denying them?” She turned on the water and started loading the dishwasher.
“Stop doing my dishes. I’ll get to them eventually.” Out of courtesy, Calder remained a decent distance away. He could smell himself, and that was bad enough. “And I assume Kelly told you everything?”
“Yep. Not surprising, all in all.”
“Would have been, if I’d been allowed to tell on my own,” he muttered. He pulled the ring box out of his pocket, where it had not left his side since he’d walked out of Kelly’s house.
Sadie’s breathless “Ohhh!” as he opened the box was a tiny consolation. She looked up at Calder, her face serious. “Okay, now I really believe you. And I ask again, what are you gonna do about it?”
“I don’t know, Sadie. I’d do anything. Even submit.” He shuddered, but squared his shoulders. “But I’ll bet she would slam the door in my face.”
Sadie shook her head. “And I thought you were smarter than that, Master Calder.” She pulled her cell phone from her jeans pocket. “I got a plan.” There was a knock at the door. “And Step One just arrived,” she added smugly.
Calder opened the door, admitting Brad, who was lugging a heavy suitcase. “Geez, Calder, you stink. I got the stuff, Sadie.” He flung the suitcase on the coffee table.
Sadie shoved Calder toward the bedroom. “Go bathe!”
“What did I agree to? I don’t remember agreeing!” Calder yelped when Sadie swatted his ass.
“You said you’d do anything, sugar. Well, I’m going to make you prove it!”
* * *
Kelly wandered listlessly into her office. Sadie had been handling all her business transactions for the past few days while Kelly moped.
“I have to get over this,” she muttered to the china kitten holding down the paperwork that needed her personal attention. The cat didn’t answer, but it was sitting on a new client file. Kelly flipped open her appointment book. The client was for that night, nine o’clock. The client numbers from the book matched those on the file, so the cat got moved.
The file was distressingly thin. “No previous Mistress to consult,” she commented to the cat. “Oh, boy. I got a virgin. Shit. Where the hell is Sadie?”
“I’m here. Figured you’d be looking, since it’s after five.” Sadie strode in, looking disheveled.
“What the hell happened to you?” The file was momentarily forgotten.
“I ran out of milk. Had to run to the store.” Sadie set a glass of milk on the desk. “I know better than to make you eat, but I can hope you’ll at least drink something nutritional. You can’t live on coffee and air.”
“I don’t feel like eating.” Kelly felt her lip tremble and reined it in by biting it -- hard.
“That’s obvious. You haven’t eaten enough to keep a mouse alive. I’m just grateful you aren’t one of those stress eaters who sucks down a half-gallon of ice cream when she’s depressed.” Her smile was gentle. “Not only would that mess up my carefully organized kitchen, but I don’t think we could let out your costumes.”
“Speaking of, what’s this with the new client?” Kelly flipped open the file once more. “Limits list is signed, but nothing checked.” She couldn’t read the signature, but that wasn’t unusual.
“According to my conversation with him, he doesn’t have limits.” Sadie crossed her arms and looked firm.
“A virgin with no limits? Get real!” Kelly scoffed.
“I questioned him closely. Made him define a few terms to make sure he knew what he was getting into. Perfect score. Come on, Mistress. How long have I been your sub? I know this stuff.” Sadie looked slightly offended.
Kelly turned the page to the Scene Request. “Scene request is blank. Open?”
“Yup. Dealer’s choice. He did request that the scene start with him hooded, naked, in chains, and the room candlelit. He won’t speak. Says his voice is recognizable.” Sadie was amused.
Kelly sighed. “Damn. This one is being secretive.” She flipped to the front. “Pseudonym for the evening is Supplicant?” She raised puzzled eyes to Sadie. “What’s his shtick?”
“Dom tr
aining. Full program.”
“Aw, shit. Does he understand how much money he’ll be forking out and how long that might take?” Kelly was awed. Normally, she knew potential Doms, sometimes for years, before they took training. And a male Dom went to another male most of the time.
Sadie pointed out a receipt clipped to the back of the file. “Paid in full. I understand he borrowed it. Bank certified check. I deposited it while I was out.”
“You’re pretty positive of this one. Normally you wait until I’ve put him through his paces,” Kelly commented, slightly disgruntled.
“I’m sure. This one is so Dom, I’m amazed he’s submitting.” Sadie chuckled. “He’s just what you need right now.”
Kelly choked back a sniffle. “Yeah, I guess so. I need to get over Calder.” Even saying his name hurt. “But he’s not called or even left a goddamn dandelion on my doorstep.” She gave up and let the tears come. “Guess I blew it. He’s probably pounding on his keyboard in that damn dingy apartment, setting out to ruin me.”
Sadie reached for one of the many boxes of tissues she’d set strategically throughout the house and handed her Mistress a tissue. “I doubt that. But one of you is going to have to give on your damned pride, and that’s the truth.”
“I can’t, Sadie. I just can’t. I won’t be used again.” Kelly blew her nose. “Never again.”
“And what would you do if Calder came to you with a fistful of posies and an apology?” Sadie’s voice was intense.
“I don’t know. It would have to be a pretty powerful apology. Something I could really believe.” She stood and turned fully on Sadie. “And don’t you go matchmaking. He’s got to do it on his own!”
“I won’t. I’m not leaving this house!” Sadie threw up her hands in self-defense.
“Fine. Long as we understand each other. I’m going to take a long bubble bath. Since Devon is off tonight, you get to prepare Supplicant. I’ll see what he’s made of.” Kelly squared her shoulders and walked sedately to the door.
“I’m sure you will, Mistress.”
* * *
At nine PM sharp, Kelly descended to the dungeon. She could smell the wax candles, and the rooms were all dark except the pain room. There, the glow of candles told her that this was where Sadie had put Supplicant.
Kelly pulled at her costume. The bustier with the black widow hourglass didn’t fit as well as it had a month ago. “Sadie’s right,” she muttered. “I need to eat. Can’t have my shorts falling off my ass.” She gave the shorts a tug as well.
She stopped at the doorway of the pain room. Barely visible in the meager candlelight, a naked man waited on the cross. A hood covered his face, but his back and buttocks were beautifully on display.
“Yum, yum!” Kelly commented aloud to let the man know she was there.
The man jerked upright as much as he was able, since he was firmly cuffed to the cross.
Kelly walked over to her toys, noting that his skin glistened from the preparation formula Sadie had sprayed on him. Those butt cheeks could have been sculpted out of marble, and the fine muscles of his back would have made any Domme sigh. “You’re very beautiful, at least in the body. If your face matches the rest of you, I’m going to be forced to train you separately. You realize other Dommes will covet you, don’t you?”
Supplicant’s head nodded again, slowly.
“I understand you want the full program of Dom training. Do you understand that means submitting to me, completely?”
Another nod. This time, it was accompanied by a shudder that shook him from his toes. It was hard to see him in the candlelight, but that shudder told her he knew what he was getting into.
Kelly’s heart softened a little. “Are you afraid, Supplicant?” she asked softly.
The answering nod was jerky and short. Then the head fell forward slowly to rest on the V of the cross. The collar Sadie had put on his neck, complete with spider medallion marking him as hers, winked in the candlelight. Sadie had neatly tucked the hem of the hood under the collar, in case Supplicant needed to be leashed.
“I’ll take it you are, but understand, you must feel everything a sub feels to be a good Master.”
She got her answer in his tiny nod, his forehead never leaving the cross where it rested.
“Very well, then, Supplicant. You can rest easy tonight. I start training at the sensual level. No pain, I promise.”
That got a reaction. His whole body jerked. In fact, he damn near tried to flatten himself against the cross. Just as she suspected, he thought that included sex. Well, she’d flatten that idea.
Her voice hard and cold, it was BW who answered. “Don’t even think about it, Supplicant. I don’t have sex with my clients, or my trainees. You’ll have to seek release elsewhere if you need it.”
The reaction was the oddest she’d ever seen. Instead of radiating disappointment or even confidence, Supplicant’s body relaxed.
“I see relief in your body language. Are you gay?” If he was, she was sure she could find a gay male sub to help Supplicant along with some of the training. Subs would trip all over themselves for this body, even if Supplicant’s face were uglier than a homemade mud fence.
A strangled sound came from the hood while the head shook violently back and forth.
Laughter? “Well, okay, whatever. Your problem,” she replied indifferently. No matter how pretty his body was, she told herself she wasn’t interested. A small, horny part of her mind did wish wistfully she could see the whole of it in full daylight. She told her pussy to shut up and behave. It was on short rations, no matter what her battery bill looked like.
Kelly walked over and picked up a rabbit fur. “Let’s begin, Supplicant.” She stepped close to Supplicant’s back. “This is a rabbit fur mitt. It is used to stimulate the skin.”
His body tensed against the cross.
“You’re so weird, buster. I tell you something won’t hurt, and you plaster yourself up to the cross like you’re in agony.” The mute nod was slow, and almost pitiful. “Now hold still. Virgins!” she muttered, exasperated.
The shuddering began almost immediately. Kelly was ready to freak out when she glanced down at Supplicant’s hardening cock. Even in candlelight, she knew who it was.
“Calder,” she growled.
Chapter Nine
Calder sighed in relief, as much as he was able, when Kelly reached up and snatched off the hood. It had been difficult to breathe easily.
Kelly’s harsh bark of laughter yanked him back into reality. She studied the ball gag in his mouth, and even checked the buckle holding it on. “A ball gag!” she chortled. “Well, that ensures your silence, doesn’t it?”
Calder nodded in answer to what he hoped was a rhetorical question. All he could do was plead with his eyes. The gag was well designed. The red ball in his mouth assured he could do nothing but make small inarticulate sounds. Another person would have to remove the black straps that held the ball in place as long as he remained cuffed to the cross.
She tapped a finger on her chin thoughtfully, her eyes full of anger mixed with mischief. “Well, we certainly don’t need the darkness and candlelight anymore.”
With that, she marched over and flipped on the overhead light. Calder winced as his eyes adjusted. Out of his line of sight, he heard her noisily blowing out the candles that littered the room. His back still tingled from the effects of the spray.
Kelly stomped back into his line of sight a little bit to his right, but close enough to touch him. All he could see over his arm was her face and the top of that mind-blowing leather bustier. His cock remained rigid in response.
“Let me see if I can puzzle all this out,” she purred, her tone dangerous. Her arm moved, as if she was fiddling with something in her hands.
Calder prayed it wasn’t any of the many pain-inducing devices decorating the walls of the room. But the point was to be helpless, so he steeled himself for whatever she chose to dish out.
“Sadie had to know who
you were when she put you in here. I’ll make her pay later,” Kelly swore. “Additionally, it goes without saying that you put yourself in this position voluntarily. That was a big risk, Calder, knowing what I am. It implies a lot of trust, as well as a certain level of desperation.”
Calder nodded vigorously in agreement. All he could do was speak with his eyes and his body. He continued to plead and knew she could read that.
“Very well. I must say it’s an effective way to get my attention, and a start on convincing me of your sincerity.” Her arm moved. “However, Calder, I have some issues to work out. I never wanted your submission, but I’ll take it now.” Her eyes glittered. “Do you still submit, Calder? Are you sure?”
He nodded, this time more slowly. And he let her see the small amount of fear he felt. What was she going to do to “work out those issues”?
Kelly was all Black Widow when she held up a red ball. “You see this, Calder? Do you know what it is for?”
He knew. It was a “safe word” of sorts. He flexed his right hand in answer. She would give him the ball. If ever he chickened out or couldn’t take anymore, all he had to do was drop the ball. But this time, dropping the ball meant more. It meant he gave up on the relationship. He opened his cuffed hand slowly, to signify a thoughtful response.
“I see you understand.” She put the ball in his hand and watched him grasp it tightly.
Calder decided he needed to let her know fully of his decision. He bowed his head and lowered his eyes. It was, in the language of BDSM, an offer of full submission.
“Hmph. We’ll see if you can hold to that, Calder. You’ve lied before. Two lies, as a matter of fact.” Black Widow held up a pair of glittering nipple clamps. Calder recognized them and shuddered but nodded. “That’s right, Calder, one for each lie. The first for not telling me you’re a journalist.”
The clamp was put on his right nipple. It stung, then settled into a dull ache.
Black Widow moved behind him, coming around to his left. “The second lie was not telling me you’re an ex-cop.” The second clamp stung just as much. “Did you think I wouldn’t ream Brad and find out about that?”