by Shae Scott
Finally, I found my voice. “You never saw me that way,” I managed.
“Didn’t I? Hmmm…” He brushed another hair aside. “You were always so sweet. Innocent. Always too good for someone like me. I couldn’t bear the thought of spoiling you, even if I thought about it…often,” he admitted, a smile forming at his lips.
“I wasn’t that innocent,” I said, thinking back to all of those years ago. I can’t help but think about graduation and the night we’d almost had.
As if guessing the direction of my thoughts, he said, “But you were too innocent for me. I hated seeing you with those other guys. You were too good for all of us.” His eyes locked on mine.
“What about now,” I managed as he held my gaze. The air between us was a thick fog.
“Well, you’re still way too good for me,” he said roughly, his voice low. He ran his thumb across my bottom lip and my breath caught as I sagged against the wall. He leaned in closer, eyes hooded. I was a goner. “I’m just not sure that I care anymore. In fact, I’m pretty sure I can’t stay away from you. I know that I don’t want to,” he breathed.
At this point he was mere inches from my lips. I was spinning with his closeness. His fingers continued across my skin, leaving a warm hum. I could simply shift my body and I’d be kissing him. God, I wanted to kiss him. But was it a good idea? Did I even care anymore if it was a good idea?
“Owen.” His name came out breathy. I couldn’t help it. I was completely lost in this moment, completely under his spell.
He closed the gap, his lips barely brushing against my own. It made my heart pound. I was sure he could feel it, the sound thundered in my ears in an excited roar. “Ally,” he said against my lips, teasing. This was torture. I couldn’t take it anymore, I had to give in. I leaned into him, finally feeling him completely. His lips were soft and firm at the same time. Taking my cue, Owen deepened the kiss and pushed into me. Thank heaven for that wall. His hands moved to my hair, my face and I gasped as I heard a low moan escape him. His tongue began to dance with mine, sweet and rough at the same time. We were trying to carefully explore each other, but the passion kept overtaking the moment, leaving us breathless again. It was dizzying. I didn’t want to stop. I clung to him, needing him closer. Too soon he broke apart from me, resting his forehead on mine, both of us panting heavily, unable to speak. I wanted to kiss him again. I wanted to feel him pressed against me. This was all very dangerous. I was playing with fire. I wanted this man, but he had already told me that he wasn’t available. Yet, here we were in the back hall of a smoky club, clinging to one another in a lustful embrace. This couldn’t end well.
“We should probably get back to the table,” he said, his voice still husky. I managed a weak nod. He stepped back from me and I felt a sudden surge of disappointment. He didn’t look at me and it felt like cold water being doused onto the moment. He regretted it, obviously. I suppose that I should too, but I hadn’t gotten that far yet. I straightened my dress, making sure everything was in place. My cheeks were heating in embarrassment. I stepped around him and made a move to go back to the table.
“Ally,” he said pulling me to a stop by my fingertips. I turned to look back at him. I saw it then, a whole range of confused emotions. He wanted me, I could see it. It was written all over his face. But he was trying to abide by the rules we’d set for ourselves. He wanted to keep the promises that he had made to himself. I could see him being pulled in separate directions. I got it. I understood it. But just because I understood it and I felt it too, didn’t mean I had any clue how to deal with it. I just needed to put some space between us.
I gave him a weak smile. “I know,” I said softly, turning and retreating down the hall.
I made it back to the table and put a smile on my face as I slid in next to Cassie. “It’s about time that you got back. I thought I was going to have to come and hunt you down,” she teased, sipping on her drink.
“Nope, right here,” I smiled, grabbing my drink and taking a long draw. She eyed me curiously, her friend intuition firing.
“You okay?” she asked studying me a little more closely.
I waved her off, “Yes, I think I want to dance some more. Wanna join?” I asked.
“Hell yeah!” she said swallowing the rest of her drink and sliding out of the booth. Distraction is always best. I followed her and we headed to the floor just as Owen walked up to the table. His eyes met mine questionably for a moment and I gave him a small smile.
As we made our way into the sea of bodies it only took me a few moments to get lost in the thumping beat. Cassie and I moved and some of the tension began to leave my body. I just needed a little bit of distance to clear my head. It didn’t have to mean anything. We had both been drinking. It didn’t mean anything. We could just forget it and go back to normal. Of course, the memory of kissing him was something that I couldn’t easily get out of my head. I already knew that from past experience. His kisses had a way of staying with you, making you needy for more.
I hate to admit that I tried to keep my distance from Owen for the rest of the evening. I tried. But we kept catching each other’s gaze and more than a few times he would find a reason to touch me. I was really trying to be rational. Logical thinking. That is what I needed. I had to keep a clear head. Stay smart. I kept reminding myself that he had other priorities. He’d told me this. There was no room for me in his plan. He had his arrangement and I just wasn’t in a place where I could work with that kind of situation. It was complicated. It was further complicated by the fact that my need for him was continually growing. I probably could have pretended like I didn’t have any feelings, or at least hidden them pretty well, if we didn’t seem to be continuously adding to our list of stolen moments. Just those few encounters left me needy and I wasn’t positive I’d make it through my life without seeing it through. Yep, that line of thinking was going to get me nowhere but trouble.
I was startled from my thoughts when Owen leaned over, his breath tickling the skin against my neck. “Are you ready to get out of here?” I turned to look at him. Damn, he was so beautiful. His eyes held me while I thought about his words. Get out of here. Leave this club with its lack of inhibitions and head home. That was probably a good idea, except, home meant alone. Together. I’m not sure that was my safest bet, but suddenly the idea of being back home with him seemed like the most appealing choice.
“Yeah, it’s late. Let’s go,” I agreed, hoping he couldn’t see where my thoughts had unwittingly gone. He stood and offered me his hand. I took it as he helped me to my feet. He didn’t let go. I said my goodbyes to Cassie and then we made our way outside.
The cool air was welcome. It hit my damp skin and helped me shake off the buzz that had my brain foggy. I watched as he hailed a passing cab with his free hand. “I think a cab is safer,” he smiled. We had both had a bit to drink, and more than a couple of shots. Neither of us should be driving. I climbed into the waiting cab and smoothed my skirt around me. Owen climbed in behind me. He was careful not to sit too close, but his hand sat in between us, his fingertips barely touching my leg. It was like we were in junior high again, pushing the limits and testing the water. Only, I knew the game we were playing had a whole different set of rules.
We didn’t talk on the way home. I stared out the window as the city passed by us. This night had been fun. Owen had fit in so well with my friends, and he was so easy to be with. It had been an amazing memory. I tried my best not to think about what had happened in the back room, but my thoughts kept returning to the way his mouth had felt on mine. Each time he kissed me it was as if he had seared himself into another piece of my heart. I knew that if things were different that I could fall for him so easily. Hell, maybe I already had. I was good at trying to convince myself differently, but here in this quiet cab, with my mind clear of all of the garbage I usually tried to pack into it, I was free to let the truth in. He did something to me, something deeper than I was comfortable with, something that was going t
o take me down if I wasn’t careful.
Chapter Sixteen
We arrived at the house about ten minutes later. I unlocked the door as Owen paid for the cab. He followed me in and I shut the door behind us kicking off my heels in the foyer. I was still feeling pretty tipsy. I liked it. I giggled as I stumbled. Owen’s strong arms reached out and held me steady. “Thanks,” I smiled sweetly, batting my lashes at him. He raised an eyebrow at me.
“You alright there, Kit Kat?” He smiled down at me. Man, his eyes were something. I couldn’t seem to pull my gaze from him. Was it my imagination or were they taking on that dark steamy expression that they had held earlier?
“Mmm hmm,” I finally managed, steady on my feet again. Once more we were locked in a stare. I could feel my heart rate quickening as the air between us began to charge. “Um, I’m going to go shower all of this smoke off of me,’ I managed turning from him. I needed distance. Quick. I left him there and scurried into my bedroom. My face felt flush either from the alcohol or the closeness of Owen wearing that gaze, I wasn’t sure, but I definitely thought my shower should stay on the cool side.
I grabbed some pajamas and made my way into the bathroom. I stared in the mirror and took in my pink cheeks and too bright eyes. How is it that I was wanting this man so much when I knew he wasn’t available? It was so frustrating and when he looked at me like that it was dangerous.
The water from the shower felt nice. I let it wash away the grime from the club. But I also found myself pretending that the trailing droplets were Owen’s fingers brushing across my skin. Ugh, this was having the opposite effect that I needed it to.
I huffed and turned off the water. Why did he have to be so damn sexy? I grumbled to myself as I towel dried my hair and scrunched up the natural waves, hoping to tame down the frizz. I dressed in a tank top and some boxer shorts and ventured back out to the living room.
Owen was leaned back on the couch, flipping through channels on the television. He stopped when I came in; I must have startled him because he jumped a little. I didn’t miss his gaze take me in and I self consciously crossed my arms across my chest, realizing I was no longer wearing a bra. “Um, the shower is open if you want it. I’m just going to grab an extra blanket for your bed.” I tried to sound normal, but the way that he was looking at me was making me nervous.
“Sure, thanks,” he offered standing up. I moved aside as he headed down the hall toward the bathroom. He brushed against me as he moved by, even though there was plenty of room. The simple contact sent sparks through me. I was pretty sure he knew that.
“There are towels in the cabinet,” I called out. This was ridiculous. I really needed to pull myself together. I scolded myself a moment longer before making my way to the spare room to make sure there were plenty of pillows and blankets. I was still muttering to myself twenty minutes later as I sat on my bed putting lotion on my arms.
I jerked my head up when I sensed movement in my doorway. “Hey,” he smiled. Holy shit, where was his shirt? Was he trying to kill me? God, he was beautiful.
“Um, hey.” I gave him my best smile, but seeing him there in nothing but a pair of dark gray lounge pants was enough to do me in. Damn, who would have thought a barefoot man could be so sexy. I was staring and the realization made me blush.
“Mind if I come in for a second,” he asked.
“Not at all,” I smiled patting the bed beside me. Wow, Ally, just invite him right into your bed, I scolded myself silently. I watched as he came over and sat next to me. Dear, God, a drop from his still damp hair fell to his shoulder and slid a torturous path to his well defined chest. My mouth went dry. This was too much.
“Thanks for letting me stay here,” he said. He was sitting really close and I was starting to feel a little off kilter. He, on the other hand, looked relaxed and unmussed. Perhaps I was the only one feeling anything here. Of course I was alone in this. But that damn kiss.
“Of course, what are friends for? I’m glad you are here,” I said giving my hair a nervous twirl.
“Friends,” he said thoughtfully. I dared a glance at him and shrugged.
“What would you call it?” I asked quietly.
This time it was him who shrugged. “I don’t know. You are my best friend,” he said. I smiled. I felt the same way. “But at the same time, we are more than that. We keep dancing on this line between friendship and something more. It’s that something more that has me…has me all over the place,” he admitted. He was studying me and I knew that he was looking for some clue as to how I was feeling.
“I know,” I admitted. I wasn’t sure how much to say aloud, how much to admit. I heard him take a breath and then he placed a hand on my thigh. My breath caught as his fingertips touched my bare skin. I forced myself to look at him, heart beating fast again. I tried to ignore the warmth of his fingertips on my skin, but it was too much. “Owen,” I started, my voice came out low and the sound surprised me.
“Ally, I know that things are complicated,” he started, searching my eyes. I wasn’t sure what he was looking for. Maybe he was asking for permission, maybe he was waiting for me to push him away. Knowing him, part of him was hoping that I would. I understood that part. I really felt like I was in a battle of wills at the moment, and honestly, I had no clue which side I wanted to root for. So, I waited for him to continue. I held my breath as he moved in a little closer.
“I really want to kiss you again,” he said softly. I bit my lip nervously.
“But you probably shouldn’t,” I offered even though I really wanted him to, no matter how bad of an idea it might be.
“Probably not,” he agreed, but he left his hand on my thigh and seemingly closed the space between us a little more. “But I still really want to do it,” he breathed. I held his gaze, refusing to look away. In this moment we had to decide. Even with the kiss earlier, this moment felt different. It felt more deliberate which made it feel more important somehow.
The truth was that if I were to let it go and just do what I really wanted, without thinking about all of the complications that it could bring, I would just go for it. I would lean in and close this gap. I wanted him. But it was more than that. I was falling for him. All of our talks, all of the shared moments of the past few months had my feelings way beyond lust and attraction. I knew I was falling for him in a dangerous way. It was that kind of falling that you didn’t come back from, at least not without your whole world changing in some way. I loved so much about who he was. There were all of these details that made the man; these were the things that really got me. It was the way he listened to me and dug in to find out the details of me. I didn’t want to lose all of that. But even more, there was this insane physical attraction. It was a pull that I couldn’t deny, and really, how often do you get both sides in a relationship? How could I really walk away from that without giving it a try? Oh, that’s right…because he has told you that he isn’t available. He has Anna and his job and there is no place for Ally in that equation. This was so tough.
“Ally,” he said my name and there seemed to be a thousand questions there. I knew he could tell there was an entire monologue going on in my head. It made me smile and with that I moved the rest of the way and brushed my lips against his in a soft kiss. I left it at that and then pulled back slightly. I needed him to make the decision too. He took only a moment and then his lips were against mine again, more urgent, needier. His hands moved to my hair, steadying me close to him. A small moan escaped me as his tongue began to explore. The noise seemed to unravel him further and suddenly we were falling back against the pillows. I loved the way the weight of him felt against me. It brought out something primal in me and I kissed him harder. His hands moved up my body. His touch was fire. I could feel the flames dancing across my skin. I gasped as his mouth moved across my throat devouring me. I was lost in the sensation. Yes, this was definitely the right choice. It would be a shame to miss this.
I moved my hands across his back. His skin was warm. I ge
ntly ran my nails across the hard surface and he let out a deep groan pressing into me. I could feel his erection pressing into me and loved the pressure. The sensation was intoxicating. His mouth traveled down my throat then against the thin fabric of my tank top. His breath was hot and my nipples instantly hardened. His hands ran along my body and a flash of memory from the first time this happened skitted across my conscious. But this was different. As much as he had known what he was doing back then, he knew more now.
“Your skin is so soft,” he murmured as his hands pushed the tank top up, exposing the flesh of my stomach. He kissed me, a trail of soft kisses from hip to hip and then up my torso, lifting my shirt further as he went. When he reached my breasts he stole a glance up at me. His eyes were hooded and I bit back a whimper at the power his gaze had on me. He moved the shirt off of me completely and then gazed down at me. I watched as his tongue moved across his bottom lip as he took me in. Then his mouth was on me again, his tongue circling the sensitive bud and then taking it and tugging at it with his teeth. It was intense and I felt my insides tighten at the sensation. He knew exactly what he was doing. He moved over to the other breast and gave it the same attention to detail. My whole body was brimming with tension. His lips moved back up to my throat, licking, sucking, and kissing his way along my jaw and back to my lips.
“Ally,” he breathed, “God, I want to taste you all over.” I groaned a little as he took my bottom lip into his mouth and tugged at it with his teeth. He moved then, leaning back on his knees and just staring down at me, naked expect for my short boxer shorts. I felt a little shy, but the heat in his eyes made me forget about it just as quickly. “You are perfect,” he said, his voice husky and deep. He traced his hands all along the bare skin of my torso. His hands were large and they covered so much space. His touch felt so amazing, but I longed for more. His hands rested at the waistband of my shorts and I saw the question in his eyes. I lifted my hips, slightly in response and his dark eyes focused in on me. He pulled them down along my legs until they were off and I lay there, exposed and wanting.