by Shae Scott
“Is this guy your boyfriend?” Austin asked me. Owen and I stood, toe to toe glaring.
“NO!” I said automatically.
Just as Owen answered, “Yes.”
I actually roared, so beyond frustrated at this bizarre moment.
“Are you kidding me? What the hell is wrong with you? You can’t do this!” I was so angry I could feel my insides shaking. Owen just stared at me. Unflinching. Uncompromising.
“Ally?” Austin asked. I could tell he was completely at a loss as to how to handle this situation. We barely knew each other and he was having to deal with this escalating argument. I tore myself from Owen’s penetrating gaze and grabbed Austin’s hand and pulled him away.
“I’m so sorry. I had no idea he’d be here. He lives in Chicago,” I said.
“I’m not leaving you here with him,” he said seriously. I smiled at his good intentions. He really was a good guy.
“It’s fine. He’s not going to hurt me. I promise. I’m sorry about this whole thing,” I said.
“Just get back in the car. You can come to my place,” he offered. I smiled at his chivalry.
“Thanks. But I need to stay and deal with this. I am so sorry for this.”
He studied me and I could tell that he was struggling with the idea of leaving me here. He looked over me and glared in Owen’s direction. I followed his gaze and saw him standing there, hands in his pockets and glaring back at us. I didn’t even recognize him. This was not the Owen I knew.
“Ally, I don’t feel good about this. Do you even know this guy that well?” His concern touched me.
I sighed. “I used to,” I said quietly.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Austin reluctantly got back in his car and I watched as he backed out of the drive. I waved at him and gave him a smile that I hoped was reassuring. When he was out of sight, I turned on my heel and stomped past Owen and headed towards the house.
“Who the hell was that?” he asked following me inside, door slamming behind us. I threw my keys onto the table, ignoring it when they slid off the other side and fell to the floor. I spun to glare at him.
“Excuse me?” My voice cracked a little. My entire body shook with the fury within me.
“You heard me! Who the hell was that jackass?” He spit the words like they left a bad taste in his mouth. Was he serious right now?
“What are you even doing here, Owen?” I sighed, exasperated.
“Just answer the question,” he demanded. He was a little intimidating, towering over me with fury rolling off of him. I wasn’t afraid of him, but I had never really seen this side of him targeted at me.
“It doesn’t matter. It’s none of your business who it was,” I shot back, determined not to falter, determined not to admit that the steel in his eyes was hot as hell.
“It doesn’t matter?” He was fuming. “You were practically crawling onto his lap!”
“So, what? That’s my business. You don’t have any claim on me. Isn’t that what you said? So don’t stand there like some alpha caveman and try and tell me what I can and can’t do or who I can do it with,” I yelled, holding my ground and refusing to back away from him. I gasped when he grabbed my wrists and stared down at me, nostrils flaring. I glared back, daring him to say I was wrong.
“That’s where you’re wrong. I do have a claim to you,” he said, his voice even, but still intense. I pulled at my wrists trying to break free of his hold.
“Let go,” I said coolly. I was so sick of his mixed signals. Instead of letting go he moved me back a few steps and I felt my back hit the wall. He leaned into me, breath hot on my neck. It made me shiver.
“I do have a claim. Just like you have a claim to me,” his voice was thick, heavy with tension. I opened my mouth to protest, but he wasn’t finished. “I don’t want you to see that asshole again,” he said quietly.
“He’s not an asshole,” I managed. He was distracting me from my fury. His scent was wrapping itself around me and, as always, it was intoxicating. It took away my ability to think rationally.
“He’s an asshole,” Owen said firmly. His forehead lowered and found mine. “I don’t want him touching you.” The words were a command and left no argument.
“That’s not fair. You can’t have it both ways,” I said.
“I don’t want anyone touching you, but me,” he breathed. “You are mine.”
I sighed, feeling defeated. “Owen,” I said, moving to push him away, but he only pushed in closer.
“Please, Ally, I can’t take it,” he said. That fueled my anger again and I shoved at him. This time he let me.
“You can’t take it?” I asked incredulously. “Are you serious, Owen? What about Anna? Have you forgotten that you have a commitment to someone else? You have no right to tell me that I am yours. You already belong to someone else. You chose your job. You chose her. Did you ever stop to consider that maybe I can’t take it?” My voice was going up with each word.
“Ally,” he said, his voice softer.
“No! Why are you doing this to me?” I could feel the hot sting of the tears betraying my anger. I dropped my face into my hands, not wanting him to see the tears. Damn my weakness. I hated showing it to him. It made me feel foolish. I had gotten myself into this mess, but I was working to get myself out of it. When he told me that we needed distance and that he needed to be the stand up guy I let him. I let him push me away and I was doing my best to move forward. But what did any of that matter when he was standing here in front of me trying to claim me as his. It wasn’t fair. He was playing with my emotions and my feelings for him.
I felt his arms wrap around me and I fought the urge to sink into him. “I’m so sorry, baby,” he whispered. I shook my head against his chest, his endearment causing my heart to break a little more. “It’s just…I need you. I know it’s not right. I just can’t.” His voice was a soft whisper against my skin. “I just lost it, watching him touch you.” I felt his hands tighten against me.
“You’re not being fair to me,” I said softly against him. He held me tighter.
“I know,” he admitted, his voice catching on the words. I managed to look up at him, meeting his eyes. They looked haunted, just the way I felt.
“We can’t keep doing this. You can’t push me away and get mad when I try to go. I can’t take it. You are breaking my heart,” I admitted. He closed his eyes as if my words caused him pain. But he needed to know. He had a power over me and it was breaking me.
“I don’t want to break you.” His voice broke on his words, thick with emotion. “You mean so much to me. It’s killing me, not being with you. I keep trying to be strong and do what is right, but I can’t stay away from you,” he said.
“Owen, I’m trying. I am. But this whole thing is too much. You can’t keep stringing me along and telling me how much you want to be with me. Not when you are unwilling to make that happen. I am not willing to wait around for you to change your mind.”
Owen swallowed hard. I could feel him calming down, the tension leaving his body. He took a step back from me and ran his hands through his hair.
“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be such an asshole. I just…Fuck, Ally, I’m losing my mind over this whole thing. I’m not cut out to be the boyfriend or the husband. It’s just supposed to be me. Look out for number one and don’t worry about getting hurt or hurting someone. But you turn it upside down. You make me want those things.” He shook his head, “Not the hurt, but everything else. My heart aches for you,” he said clutching at his chest. His eyes had taken on a slightly crazed look, desperation to make me understand. I understood it all too well. “I have tried holding on to the pieces that I am allowed and making it be enough. But it’s not enough. It will never be enough until we are together. You are what steadies me. You are the only place I feel like me. With you, I remember what is important. I’m just so afraid I’m going to fuck it all up and lose you completely,” he admitted.
“I want to believe y
ou. I want to believe that you feel all of those things. But you still have all of the same commitments. What about Anna? Are you just going to walk away from the commitment that you have with her? Are you just going to walk away from the partnership that you’ve been working for for years? For me? For us? Because I know you, Owen. You walk away from that and you’re going to resent me. You’re going to question it always.” I hated that the words I spoke felt like absolute truth to me; absolute with no room for hope. I wanted to believe that he would walk away from all of it so that we could be together. But life wasn’t that simple. And to be honest, I had my own career aspirations so asking him to leave his own was too much.
“Anna knows about us. I told her about us a long time ago. I told you, it’s just an arrangement, a way for us to get what we wanted with the company. We aren’t together. She knows I have feelings for you and that I want out of it. I’ve been honest with her,” he said.
“You told Anna about us?” I was surprised. I wanted to believe that meant something, but I was nervous. I didn’t want to get wrapped up in empty promises and make the same mistake that so many other girls did. I didn’t know what to think.
“Ally, I know that I have a lot to prove to you. I know that I’ve screwed up a lot already, but I want to find a way to make this work. I can’t take being away from you.” He moved and stepped closer to me again and I realized that I was holding my breath.
“I haven’t heard from you in a month. Nothing.” My heart was beating hard against my chest. My heart wanted to fall back into him. It would be so easy.
“I know. I was trying to let you go. I can’t stand being the one that is hurting you over and over. I don’t want to be that person. I’m not going to lie, my life is still complicated. I still have shit I have to figure out. I have to get out of this public thing with Anna, I have to nail down the partnership, but I want to do all of that knowing that I have you. I want to do it for us and for a future that I never dared dream about until you. Please. Give me the chance to make it work. I know I don’t deserve it, but I want it. I want you. I want you so fucking much.” He was leaned into me, pressing me back against the wall, his eyes continuing his argument even after his words had stopped.
I could think myself out of this situation and go back to my life without Owen, but this feeling I had right now, with him so close and looking at me like he needed me like air was enough to push all of that ridiculous logic out the window. “I’m scared,” I admitted softly. I needed him to know that. I needed him to walk away if he wasn’t serious, because I was starting to realize that I wasn’t strong enough to do it myself.
“I know, baby. I am too. But I promise to keep your heart safe. I promise to do my best to be what you deserve.” His hand moved to caress my face and I closed my eyes at the gentle touch. It sent electricity shooting through me, while at the same time it calmed my nerves and made me feel safe and whole. He took every emotion I had and put them together in a way that made sense. All of the pieces began to connect and fuse together. The decision was made before I could think any more about it. I was his. I had been since he’d shown back up in my life. I guess I might have been his long before that. Nothing really felt right when he wasn’t here.
“Okay,” I said finally.
“Okay?” I could hear the surprise in his voice. He’d actually expected me to turn him away.
I opened my eyes and shrugged, “Okay.” I gave him a soft smile, giving in completely. I saw the flash in his eyes just before he closed the space between us, his mouth finding mine as he devoured me like a starving man. This is what I had missed. This is why Austin had never stood a chance. I belonged to this man and there was no going back now that I’d had him. Wrong or right, I was in it.
My arms encircled his neck as he pressed his body into mine. “I’ve missed you so much,” he murmured against the skin of my throat.
“Me too,” I sighed as his mouth moved across my jaw before finding my lips again. His tongue found mine and began an erotic dance that left me feeling weak in the knees. I was pretty sure that if he hadn’t been supporting me I would have melted to the floor.
“I need you, Ally.” His eyes were dark as he stared down at me. The steel gray contrasted with his dark hair made him look intense and the passion that waited there was enough to set me ablaze.
I pushed at his chest gently and he looked at me confused until I took his hand and led him down the hall and back to my bedroom. As we reached the room he pulled at my hand and turned me towards him. His hands moved down my sides to rest at my hips, tugging me closer to fit against him. I could feel him hard against me and I pressed closer to feel him. I heard a moan escape him just as he kissed me, deep and hungry. My skin was hot and hypersensitive as he ran his hands down to my bare thighs and up to push my dress up and over my head. The cool air against my hot skin caused instant goosebumps.
I moved my hands up his chest and worked to lift his sweatshirt over his head, followed by the t-shirt underneath. His skin was hot beneath my fingertips and I leaned forward to press soft kisses against him. His hands moved to my hair, grabbing handfuls. I loved it. I wanted more of him.
He moved to unhook my bra and he let it fall to the floor. His eyes were hooded as he took a moment to take me in. I watched as his tongue moved across his swollen bottom lip as if he were plotting his attack. It made my insides clench with anticipation. His hands moved to cover my breasts. “So soft. You’re like satin,” he moaned as he took one hardened nipple between his lips and sucked. I whimpered as he worked it expertly before moving to the other breast to do the same thing. I needed him. Now. My insides were tight with the tension and want and I moved to unbuckle his belt. I wanted to feel him, I needed to get all of these layers between us gone.
He watched me as I pushed his jeans down, past his hips, taking his boxers down with them. He sprung free and as he kicked the jeans off and out of the way I couldn’t help but take him into my mouth to taste him. I smiled as I felt his body tense at the sensation. “Fuck, baby, you feel so good,” he moaned his hand on my head, but allowing me to take full control of the moment. I loved to hear the sounds he made, knowing that I was bringing him so close to the brink.
“Wait.” He pulled me up and I gave him a tiny pout at not being able to complete my task. He gave me a wicked smile and shook his head. “Not yet. I want to be buried deep inside you when I come. I’ve missed you and all I’ve been able to think about is how you feel, how we feel.” His voice was husky and raw and I tingled at the sound. He picked me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist as he moved us to the bed. He lowered us down, holding me to him, his strength was impressive and it made me feel protected.
I felt my head hit the pillow and I stared up at Owen’s handsome face as he hovered above me.
“You are so beautiful. You have no idea what you do to me.” His hands moved across my skin, exploring. He hooked a finger into the top of my lace panties and pulled them down slowly. I was so ready to have him that his slowness was torture.
“Owen, please. I want you.” I didn’t mind begging. I wanted him too much to be shy about what I needed. His eyes flashed as he moved back up my body.
“I want to savor you. But I don’t know if I can be that patient,” he admitted. His mouth pressed to the dip of my throat, his tongue tracing lines across my neck.
“Don’t be patient. I want you now.” I bucked my hips up to him, searching for him to fill me.
“Look at me, Kit Kat, I want to see you.” I opened my eyes and met his gaze. I saw so much there, so much of what I felt reflected back to me. I loved this man. It was a dangerous kind of love, the kind of love that consumes you for the rest of your moments. It was the kind of love that changed you, shaped your life in every way. It was real and it was scary and I wanted to drown in it.
He pushed into me, deep and full and I grabbed for him to pull him closer. I couldn’t get enough of him and as we began to move together I knew…I knew that there was no ot
her option. The choice was no longer mine. I was his. Forever.
“God, you feel so amazing. You make me feel so much. I can’t get enough of you.” His words against my ear worshiped me with each movement. The emotions that were in me were so powerful that I could barely take them. The pleasure was so intense, but the emotion that held us together upped the anty in a way I had never experienced before.
Owen flipped us over so that I was straddling him, but he pulled himself up too, each of us sitting, but wrapped around the other in an intimate embrace. He kissed me deeply as we continued to move. He was so deep inside me and each long slow thrust brought me closer to the brink of something that seemed more powerful than I was ready for. Owen grabbed my face in his hands, as I moved against him, clinging to him with an unfamiliar desperation.
“Ally…Oh God…I…I. You are all I need. You are all that I want,” I could feel him tense beneath me, close to the edge. It was enough for me to lose myself and I fell apart around him, calling out his name. We fell together and the intensity was so powerful that I felt my eyes prick with tears. I was done for. This moment had branded me.
As I came down from the high I dropped my forehead against his and we tried to slow our breathing. He pulled back, cupping my face in his hands, holding me steady. His eyes held mine and what I saw there hit my heart with a force I had never experienced before. “I love you, Ally. I do. I love you so fucking much. I need you to know that.”
I smiled and the tears that had gathered in my eyes were set free. “I love you.” I kissed him and finally allowed every wall to come down. The line had been crossed and there was no going back.
Owen’s face lit up as he kissed me again. He pulled us down and pulled me close to him. This was what I had been missing. Not just this past month, but my whole life. We were quiet, Owen running his hands through my hair and soon we’d both fallen asleep.