by Shae Scott
“Hey, Al- I’m totally gonna head out now that you are in good hands” Cassie said raising her eyebrows suggestively. Even in my drunken state I knew her subtly was lacking. I rolled my eyes at her.
“Text me when you get home,” I warned and she turned to make her way back to the waiting cab. She waved her hand above her head in response. I went back to looking for my keys.
“You’re drunk,” Owen said, his voice flat. He was so serious. It made me start giggling again. I tried to stop. Really.
“You are perceptive,” I pointed out. Keys finally in hand I moved towards the door. Yet even though I had the actual keys, finding the correct one to open the door was proving to be a difficult task. Owen leaned up against the wall watching me as I tried to figure it out. I ignored him and tried to concentrate through the haze.
“Would you like me to help you with that?” he asked, arms folded across his chest. I glanced over at him again and couldn’t help but smile at his stern expression. He sighed and took the keys from me. He grabbed me by the shoulders and moved me out of the way. “You really are a pain in the ass,” he said, positioning me so that the wall was there to support me. I opened my mouth to protest, but was distracted when I noticed that he had the door open. He took my hand and led me inside.
“I totally could have done it,” I said stubbornly.
“Why don’t you sit down? I’ll get you some water,” he suggested, shutting the door behind us.
“I can get it,” I announced heading towards the kitchen, but I stopped when he gave me a glare.
“Sit,” he ordered.
“You’re kind of bossy,” I pointed out, making my way to the couch.
“Yeah, well, you’re kind of shit-faced,” he called as he grabbed a glass from the cabinet. I wrinkled my nose as he returned and handed me the glass.
“So what, I was having fun. You should try it sometime,” I said sipping my water and looking up at him. He raised an eyebrow.
“You think so?” he asked looking down at me. Man, he looked really handsome. How had I missed the fact that he was in a tux? Holy crap. Suddenly my mouth was parched. I sipped the water again.
“Uh huh,” I managed. Now that I was fully aware of him, I could feel my heartbeat quickening. Why did he have to do this to me? I was weak. Damn him. My own reaction was making me mad. “What are you doing here anyway?” I asked. It came out sounding irritated.
He took a seat beside me. I took a moment to notice the first few buttons of his white dress shirt were undone giving me a glimpse of tanned skin. Damn him again.
“You invited me,” he said simply.
“I did. But I seem to recall that you had more important people to see,” I said daring him to deny it.
He held my gaze, his eyes intense. “I’m here,” he said.
“What happened? Did you get in a fight with your girlfriend,” I blurted. Yep, total defense mechanism anger. He had hurt me when he had chosen her over me. And all of the alcohol had me wanting to push his buttons.
“Ally,” he warned. His voice was cold.
“What? It’s a legit question.” I leaned back into the couch cushions with a huff. Honestly, I shouldn’t even let him see that it bothered me. I would regret that in the morning. But right now, I couldn’t help myself.
“Look, I know that you are mad at me, but you need to stop before you say things that you can’t take back tomorrow” he said.
Psh, who was he to try and make me be logical? “Well, either way, you missed a good time. It was a great party. People actually sang to me. There were candles.” I said. I can’t help it. I meant it as a jab. I hoped that he felt it.
“I wish I had been there” he said softly. Crap. Why did he have to be nice about it? I wanted to fight with him. I needed to fight with him.
“You had obligations. Isn’t that what you called them?” I asked. I was pushing. I knew it. I watched for his reaction. His face was stern. He knew what I was doing. I just didn’t know if he was going to play my game.
“Well, it sounds like you had plenty of friends and companionship to get by just fine without me,” he said sharply. Okay, so he was going to play. Good.
“Oh, I did. Everyone important was there,” I said pointedly.
He leaned back into the corner of the couch and studied me. “Like Mr. Sex Muscles?” he asked running his fingers across his chin.
“Oh…you heard that?” I mused. “Yes, actually, he wanted to take me home,” I said confidently.
“So I heard. Yet, here you are,” he pointed out. That did kind of take the wind out of the ‘other men want me’ sail.
“Well, I’m not a slut,” I scoffed. Even though, I had slept with Owen who technically had a girlfriend. In fact, he’d had me there against that wall, not that long ago. The memory made me blush.
“I never said that you were,” he pointed out.
“Why are you wearing a tux?” I said, changing the subject. I needed some more ammunition if I was going to keep this up.
He considered my question for a moment as if deciding if he was going to answer me. He let out a long breath, “It’s what I was wearing when I decided I wasn’t where I needed to be. So I got in the car and I drove here. I don’t even have a bag. I just left,” he said.
I stared at him for a full minute while I processed his words. All I could come up with in response was, “Oh.”
I took a sip of water as a way to hide my sudden thoughtfulness. He left the Gala? The big important Gala that he was so sure that his job depended on. He left and he came here. I tried to wrap my head around it, but my brain was too fuzzy to make much sense of it all.
“So, you had fun tonight?” He asked quietly, interrupting my thoughts. I met his eyes and saw regret there. It tugged at my heart and broke through a little.
I shrugged. “It was fun.” I said. I wanted to tell him that I’d missed him so much, but I bit my lip to keep the truth from falling out.
“I’m glad. You deserve a happy birthday. You deserve a perfect night,” he said, his voice quiet.
“It wasn’t perfect.” I admitted, almost to myself. Damn…I hadn’t meant to say that out loud. I could feel his gaze heavy on me, caressing me and, looking deep into all of the things I was trying not to say. With him, I was always so transparent.
“Let’s get you to bed. You’ve had a long night.” He stood and offered me his hand. I glanced up at him, standing tall in front of me, looking so amazing in his tux, dark hair mussed, and stubble lining his strong jaw. He was perfection. He was my perfection. I could stare at him endlessly. He continuously stole my breath. I felt my stomach tighten as I studied him, amazed that he was standing here in front of me. It was distracting. “Ally. Bed,” he said again, pulling me from my thoughts.
“Oh right. I’m tired,” I agreed. I took his hand and caught the ghost of a smile as he pulled me to my feet. He led me back to the bedroom and sent me into the bathroom to brush my teeth. I was yawning. Now that I had stopped drinking, the exhaustion was hitting me full force.
When I made it back to the bedroom he had my pajamas in his hand, and the covers pulled back on the bed. The image made me feel simultaneously vulnerable and protected. “Come here,” he said. He was all business. I stepped forward, stopping right in front of him. He put his hands on my shoulders and slipped the straps of my dress down my arms until it fell loosely at my waist. His hand then moved to my hip where he found the zipper and slowly tugged it down. I was tired, but his touch was still doing something delicious to my insides. The dress fell to the ground at my feet.
“Step,” he instructed. I obeyed, still holding his gaze. I was struck by how intimate this moment was. “Look at me.” I turned back to him, catching the way he appraised my body. I saw the quick flash of desire hit his darkened gaze, but he pushed it away and held up the tee-shirt that he was holding. It was his. I’d stolen it and slept in it when we were apart. It held his scent and made me feel close to him. “Arms up,” he said, giving
me a nod to indicate what he wanted. I lifted them up and let him slide the shirt over my head and into place.
“Thank you,” I finally managed.
“Bedtime,” he announced. I couldn’t help but smile a little as I fought another big yawn. I crawled beneath the sheets and snuggled against the pillows. Sleep threatened to take instantly and I fought to keep my eyes open.
“Owen?” I asked softly, the haze of sleep and inebriation taking me as its prisoner.
“Yeah?” I felt the bed dip as he sat beside me. I sighed as I felt his hand smooth my hair.
“I missed you tonight. It wasn’t the same without you. I wish you hadn’t chosen her. Why did you choose her and not me?” I asked. I never heard if he responded, as the darkness claimed me.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
I woke up slowly, testing my limbs gingerly, trying to judge just how bad of shape I was in. The previous night was a little blurry and I was having a little bit of difficulty remembering it all. Amazingly enough, I seemed to be okay. Not sure how I got to be that lucky, cause I know that I had partaken in way more than I should have. There is a reason one should never try and drown their sorrows. Birthday celebration plus boy trouble was just a recipe for disaster.
I thought back to the night before. Shots. Dancing. More shots. Pretty sure Cassie brought me home and then...Owen. I opened my eyes immediately as flashes came back to me. I glanced over beside me and sure enough, there he was, fast asleep.
I took a moment to take in the sight of him. He was beautiful. He looked so peaceful. It made me long to touch him, even though I was still mad at him. It had hurt me that he hadn’t come to the party. Granted, I was angrier with myself, but I was mad at him too. I needed him to put me first. Above his job and the complicated mess that he seemed to think that it presented for him. I didn’t understand it and part of me thought that I was a fool to even believe his story. I mean, isn’t that the classic tale? Boy tells girl a crazy, fucked up story and girl believes it because she is a desperate idiot who has no common sense anymore? But what if girl knows boy, knows him like the back of her hand…does that change it? Does it still make her a fool?
Yeah, I was still mad at him. At both of us. I was tired of playing this guessing game. I was mad at how critical he’d been of me the night before when he had randomly shown up on my door in a tux. He’d looked really hot in that tux. He wasn’t wearing it now. He was just in his boxers, sprawled out on his back, arm flung up behind his head. The sheets were a mess around his hips as if he’d been tossing in his sleep or had gotten warm during the night. I wondered what he was dreaming about. I wondered what had possessed him to leave his big gala and drive all this way.
I wanted to reach out and touch him, maybe run a finger along his jaw, across his cheek. There was something about him that drew me in. As bad for my heart as he could be, he still felt like home. I felt safe with him.
I couldn't tear my eyes away from him. Mad or not, he was here. I missed having him here, waking up with him. I needed it and I didn’t realize how powerful that need was until he was gone. He began to stir and I shut my eyes quickly, not wanting to be caught staring at him. I lay still, feigning sleep and waiting to hear if he was actually awake. I felt the bed dip as he shifted closer to me. Still, I kept my eyes shut. But then I felt his breath against my neck as his lips tickled the sensitive skin just below my ear.
“You can open your eyes, I know you aren’t asleep.” I felt the smile against my skin and I opened my eyes in question. How did he know that I was faking?
He leaned back to look at me, moving a long piece of hair behind my ear. I’m sure that it looked a mess, as I had never brushed it out once I’d gotten home. For that matter, I’m sure my face also showed the remnants of smudged eyeliner and Smokey eye lids. I probably looked like I’d been in a fight. “You breathe differently when you are asleep. Don’t you think I know you at all?” I gave him a sheepish smile, still not admitting to faking.
I pushed back into my pillows as his intense study of me had me feeling as if I were under a microscope. He had a way of really looking into me and knowing all of my secrets. It could be unnerving.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I missed your birthday.” The look in his eyes hit my heart with a direct hit. I saw truth there and it made me let go of some of the anger that I had been holding on to.
I nodded. I wasn’t ready to speak just yet. I was afraid of what I might say, and right now, I really just wanted to hear what he had to say.
“I mean it, Ally. I should have been here. There shouldn’t have been a question about it. I should have been here for you.” His voice was husky, thick with emotion. I knew he meant it. I had never doubted that he wanted to be here. I just knew that he had other priorities. That was the part that hurt, to not be first on that list and to wonder if there would ever be a time when I would be. Doubts were the hardest part.
I managed another nod, not trusting myself for anything else. He shifted so that I was beneath him. I held his gaze as he stared down at me intently. There was so much there, so much he didn’t have to put into words. What I saw there in their depths were all of the reasons I’d fallen in love with this man. I was in so deep that, no matter what happened, he had my heart. I wasn’t sure I’d ever get it back. When he looked at me this way, I knew I never wanted him to give it back.
Bracing himself on one arm, he traced his fingers across my cheek, the gentleness conveying so much. This was my Owen, the man who joked about being a robot and had always been afraid of emotions. But here he was, drowning in them with me. Together we would find our way to the surface. I would teach him how to navigate the waters. I had to do that. For him. For us.
He sunk down against me, the weight of him pressing me into the mattress, the hard lines of his body against me. It was what I had been craving while we’d been apart; this physical connection with him, the feel of his skin, his touch, just seeing him in front of me, instead of a memory.
He ran kisses along my throat and across my jaw, all the while, murmuring I’m sorries as he went. I heard the truth in his voice, the regret. I knew it and I felt it. We couldn’t go back and fix it, but we could learn from it and move forward. We were still figuring this whole thing out. We were two ends of the spectrum when it came to commitment. I craved it; he’d spent his whole life avoiding it. Somehow we had to figure out how to find our place together. I had to realize that he was fighting demons and he had to realize that those demons were hurting me too. If it were anyone else, I’m not so sure I would be fighting to keep it. But this was Owen. He was the boy who had known me when I was innocent. He was the man who pushed me to let go. There was so much about him that drew me in. He had a hold on me. I just couldn’t see a point when I would be able to walk away from him. At least, not until I put in a good fight. I felt like we were worth the fight and the work.
It only took a moment for me to get lost in his kisses. And when his lips moved to my own I didn’t even care that we both had morning breath. The need to taste him was too great. I moved my hands up his hard torso, my fingers digging in as they moved up and around his shoulders, pulling him closer, causing a soft moan to escape him. His hands moved down my sides and found the hem of my t-shirt. He pushed it up, kissing my skin along the way. Once it was discarded he took a moment to take me in, his eyes caressing my body. I saw the promise there and it made my skin heat. I wanted him. I needed to feel him. I needed the connection after the hurt of the past week. I needed to feel close.
My hands reached for the waistband of his boxers and his eyes darkened as I began to push them from his hips. Once he was free, he returned the favor by slowly pulling my panties down my legs before settling between them. His eyes were locked on mine as his hand moved down my thigh and to their apex. His finger brushed across my folds and I felt the zing of electricity and want shoot through my body. I arched into him, urging him to not stop with this gentle, teasing touch. He didn’t make me wait. He dipped a finger insid
e and I couldn’t help but close my eyes and let go of a soft moan of pleasure. It was so good, but it wasn’t enough. I was aching for him. All of him.
“Look at me, Ally.” His voice was husky and commanding. It was a seduction all on its own. I opened my eyes, my breath catching as he sunk a second finger inside. He stretched me expertly, pushing me higher with each wonderful stroke. He already knew my body so well. He played it perfectly. I was lost to everything when he was touching me.
I reached out, my fingers wrapping around his erection, stroking him, urging him to fill me. I was rewarded with a deep moan and a jerk of his body. “Owen, please.” I didn’t want to be patient. I wanted him, filling me now.
“What do you want, baby? Tell me what you need.” We continued our teasing.
“I want you, Owen. Please.” I felt the emptiness as his fingers left me and I whimpered at the loss. But his eyes promised me more as he positioned himself at my opening. I left my eyes locked to his. They were dark, hooded, and filled with a sea of passion and emotion. It was intense and as he sunk into me, I felt it all-all of the words, all of the emotions that were too hard for us to express. He moved slowly, sinking deep and filling me completely.
I held on to him, relishing his closeness, needing all of him to heal the hurt and connect us, mend us. He moved slowly, deliberately. I felt every part of him and it was an exquisite dance.
“I love you,” he murmured. “I love you so much. I choose you. You are my only choice. You are the only one.” His words wrapped around me, a promise, a plea and I clung to him tighter, needing him closer.
I was so entranced with him, with this moment. The amount of love that I had for this man was overwhelming. I felt my body quiver as I neared my release. He pushed me further, holding on to me as if any separation of our skin would be too much. It was intense and raw and I breathed out his name as I felt myself nearing the edge. “Together,” he moaned and I felt his body tighten against me as he thrust deep, pushing me and I cried out as we fell over the edge.