by Addison Jane
His head turned to the side, the portrait of his strong jawline and face silhouetted in the light. For a second, I thought he might come back. I wished he would.
“Bring the tequila!” he shouted, followed by a loud cheer.
Then he was gone.
I looked down at the panties I held in my hand.
I don’t want to see him get hurt.
I heard Harmony’s voice in my head.
It wasn’t just him, though. We were both going to get hurt if shit carried on like this.
Because the way he just looked at me, I never wanted to see again.
I scrubbed at my face as I walked down the stairs.
My head pounded, a night of ten too many unsuccessful tequila shots. No matter how much I drank, I still couldn’t erase Hadley from my mind. She had me twisted into so many knots, I couldn’t even begin to untangle myself.
Watching Kev run his hands all over her seemed dirty. It fucked with my head, made me angry. I’d never seen one of the girls like that before, and they were constantly rubbing up against the men. But after I’d touched her, after I’d had her to myself, seeing someone else with her seemed wrong. I hated it. Watching Harmony step in and take her away had calmed the storm that was raging in me and I’d cooled off. But if she hadn’t, and he’d gone much further, I wasn’t sure if I would have been able to control what would have happened.
I’d gone to find her last night, intent on talking with her. I needed to know more about her. I already knew what my mind and body were telling me. She was bordering on perfect—Old Lady material. And I was bordering on insane if I caught one more of my brothers touching something I so badly wanted to keep to myself.
But it wasn’t as simple as just claiming her and seeing where things led. I had Macy to think about, and Carly too.
And Kim.
I guess a part of me was glad when Slider stepped out of her room. I was walking in there considering whether I was ready to open my heart to someone new. Was I ready to let someone in, to not only my life, but Macy’s too?
The more I thought about it, Carly was right. Macy needed someone stable in her life, a mother figure, someone who could show her the things that made me feel awkward as fuck when it came to girls. But at the same time, I didn’t want her to forget Kim. I wanted her to know how beautiful and kind-hearted her mom was.
Kim had been the only girl I’d ever loved.
She had been my world since I was a teenager.
Trying to replace her seemed wrong.
But being with Hadley seemed so fucking right.
I was a goddamn mess.
Watching Slider with his pants open and her stripped off hurt me more than I’d ever expected it to. But I guess it was a reminder that I just wasn’t fucking ready, and maybe a club girl wasn’t what I needed.
Even that though stabbed a sharp pain through me, but for now, I just needed to try and put some distance between us. And hope that what I was feeling was just lust. Yet here I was, standing outside her room once again. Op had told me to make sure she got to church so I was following orders.
I knocked hard and waited, hearing a rustling behind the door. I swore in my mind, hoping I wasn’t about to find a repeat of last night. The lock clicked, which made my stomach turn since the locks were only meant to be used if they had someone inside, and a brother didn’t want to be disturbed. But when the door pushed open it was only her. Her face was flushed and her hair wet, she’d just climbed out of the shower.
“I just need to pull my hair back,” she said softly as she rushed back into the bathroom.
I stepped inside her room, looking around. I even considered checking under the bed, but even I knew that was fucking ridiculous.
“How come the door was locked?” I called out.
I was met with silence and thought maybe she hadn’t heard me.
“I wasn’t feeling well last night. I know, I’m supposed to have an open door and all that. But I figured the girls from X-Rated were here and stuff, so maybe no one would miss me.” She came out with her hair pulled to the side in a plait.
She looked good.
I fucking hated it.
“We’re you crying last night?”
“I told you I wasn’t,” she replied, attempting to slip past me out the door.
I grabbed her arm. “And I still don’t believe you.”
She stilled, looking down at where I held her. “Can we just go and do this. I’m not especially looking forward to rehashing shit about my husband.”
I didn’t let her go. I didn’t want to.
Her skin was warm, and from the way she hung her head, I could tell that there was something going on. I wanted to hold her there, force her to explain. But then I remembered. No. I needed distance before I got too involved. I released her, and she was instantly gone, leaving me standing inside her bedroom. Confused and frustrated.
I filed into church with my brothers. Hadley was standing behind Optimus, her arms wrapped around a man that wasn’t one of ours. Skins.
“What are you doing here?” she asked, her face a lot brighter than a few minutes ago.
I took my seat at the table beside Op, observing their interaction.
“Judge thought it best I come down and help explain what’s been going on.”
“Didn’t trust me to give them all the info?” She smirked.
He held his hands up and laughed. “Not trust you to omit things and try and handle them yourself? Where would you get that idea?”
Optimus took his seat and banged his fist on the table, drawing everyone’s attention. He moved his chair to the side so that everyone could see Skins and Hadley standing up front.
“All right. Skins has come in from Arkansas to join us today. And Kit and Tally will be joining us too,” he explained gesturing to Skins and to the Troy prez and vice prez who were standing back against the wall. “We need more information about what’s going on since the problem seems to have followed Hadley to the clubhouse.”
He gestured to the package on the table that had been dropped off yesterday. It was still unopened.
“You want to open it first?” Skins asked.
Hadley looked nervous, shuffling her feet as Blizzard pulled out a pocket knife and sliced at the tape that covered the small box. He ripped it open and dumped the contents onto the wooden table. There wasn’t much inside. A white daisy dropped out followed by a fluttering piece of paper. Optimus held up the daisy, it was missing a few petals. He raised his eyebrows at Hadley, who cleared her throat before she began to explain.
“Simon proposed to me in a daisy field. Nothing extravagant but it was beautiful,” she murmured. “On the weeks leading up to our wedding, he would leave daisies lying around the house, each with a note. She loves me, she loves me not.”
We all listened intently as she talked.
“On our wedding day, was when the last petal came off. He made it part of our ceremony. A daisy with one single petal. He made me pull it off in front of all our guests and he yelled, ‘She loves me.’” Her hands reached out and plucked the note off the table. “She loves me not.” She read out loud.
Her body shuddered and I clenched my fists, annoyed that I couldn’t comfort her.
I cleared my throat. “Okay, so it’s safe to say he’s counting down to something, just like he did with your wedding.”
She nodded.
“But what?” Kev asked from down the table.
“Who is this guy?” Blizzard asked, reclining in his chair.
Skins looked to Hadley as if giving her the opportunity to explain. She shook her head so he took the lead. “Simon joined the club fresh out of training. He had skills. Judge was happy to have him on the team.”
“What kind of skills?” Kit interrupted.
Skins looked to him. “Reading people. You could be staring him dead in the eye, and he would catch the smallest twitch, the tiniest movement. Getting a lie past him was practically impossible.”
; “That’s insane,” Tally commented, leaning forward curiously.
“Exactly, but that’s what made him so perfect,” Skins continued. “Taking him to meets with other clubs or gangs, he could tell us if there was something going down, or if they were going to screw us over. It kept us safe.”
“Okay, so fast forward. What the hell happened?” Optimus prompted.
“He was sent away for a while to make connections with a street gang in Las Vegas, The Shadow Syndicate. They were looking to trade with us and get us to back them. They had plans to take over the city,” Skins explained. “What was meant to be a week trip, turned into a month, then six months. He said they’d opened their arms to him, and every day they were allowing him further and further inside the gang as he earned their trust.”
“He wasn’t earning their trust,” Hadley cut in. “They were dealing cocaine and meth and dope and every day more and more money was coming in. It pulled him under.” She screwed up her nose in disgust.
Skins reached out and placed his hand on her shoulder, offering her silent support. “When he came back, he tried talking the club into taking profits from the deals they made, instead of handing it all over to the government. But none of us were in this for money. We fight every day to try and make some kind of dent in the bullshit here. People trafficking women, getting kids hooked on drugs, eradicating the gun trade in hopes that it will mean one less innocent person dead at the end of the day.”
I nodded. The club had strict beliefs on all these things. Members didn’t take hard drugs, we respected women and treated them right—even our club girls—and the guns we had were only used for protection, never to hurt innocent people.
“So he just walked away?” Blizzard asked.
Skins shook his head. “Not exactly. He went higher, explaining to them about how he had earned the gang’s trust, and could work from the inside to bring down other gangs in the area. Using the bad guys against the bad guys.”
“That’s a solid strategy,” Optimus said, his eyebrows raised. “He takes them down and steals their connections. More money for him, less competition.”
“You thought about slipping them an anonymous message and outing him?” one of the boys asked.
Skins shook his head. “We out him, it comes back on us.”
We all sat silently for a minute, trying to process this clusterfuck of information. “Okay, so why’s he coming back for Hadley. Why now?”
Hadley shrugged, but Skins body tightened. She noticed and narrowed her eyes. “What’s going on?”
He cleared his throat but avoided her eyes, instead looking straight at Optimus. “We just got word that he’s taken over. The leader and his two main men were killed in a bar fight a few weeks ago, and Simon has been appointed their new head.”
“He’s what?” I stammered.
Skins hit me with a sympathetic look. “Yup.”
“They can’t let him do that. Why haven’t they taken him out yet?”
He shook his head. “He’s got them convinced that he’s stronger with the Shadows behind him. He’s killing off every gang in the city. To them he’s doing a great job, and because he’s undercover with real gang members, he doesn’t have to give up all of the profits he makes because it would put him under suspicion.”
“Jesus Christ, he’s a criminal mastermind with the backing of the government,” Leo growled.
My mouth was dry, I tried to swallow, but it was tight and scratchy.
“So what do you have, that he wants?” Optimus asked seriously, his eyes burning into me. “He seems to have his shit sorted. Why’s he coming after you now?”
I shook my head. “I don’t know. I’ve tried to file for a divorce. But as far as I can tell he’s refusing to sign. And it isn’t exactly easy to get him to court to contest it.”
“I don’t get it. He just up and left you, not a second thought?” Leo asked, his dark eyes boring into me like he could see inside my soul.
“He wanted me to go with him,” I answered quietly.
Skins scoffed. “He tried to force her to go with him. Dragged her through the house by her hair, if I remember correctly.”
I cringed at the memory. Simon had been the man I thought I’d spend the rest of my life with. I’d been so excited for him to come home after that time away, but the moment he walked through the door I knew there was something wrong.
I heard the front door open and rushed out of the bedroom and down the hallway to meet him. I couldn’t stop smiling. I froze in the foyer, a wide grin on my face, waiting for him to turn and see me as he closed the door.
When he turned around, I can’t explain the shudder that ran through my body. It felt like I was watching the Exorcist or some alien invasion movie. Because when I finally saw his face, I knew within a second that this wasn’t my husband. It was his body, his face, his clothes. But the man I knew was no longer inside them.
He didn’t smile when he saw me. Instead, his face curled up into a smug smirk. His eyes were no longer bright and full of life. It was like he was possessed.
He held his arms out. “Hey baby, you just gonna stand there?”
His voice sounded the same, so deep and smooth with just a hint of a southern accent. I tried to convince myself that I was just being silly. It was him, he was home. I swallowed my fears and ran into his arms, wrapping mine around his slim waist and laying my cheek against his chest.
The first thing I noticed was the lack of leather. Simon had been a part of Satan’s Sanctuary ever since I’d known him. And he never left the house without his club cut on.
“Where’s your cut?” I asked, pulling back my face to look up at him.
His strange twisted smile only grew as he drew back and took my hand, leading me into the living room. We sat down on the sofa, and I turned my body toward him, waiting for him to explain. Maybe he was finally done with all this undercover stuff, and we could live a normal life somewhere.
My body filled with excitement and I prompted him to hurry and explain. “So…”
He let out a dark, scratchy laugh before he met my eyes again. I swallowed back my apprehension, confused by how this man in front of me could seem like such a stranger after we’d been together for close to five years.
“We’re moving,” he answered.
“Where?”
“Las Vegas.”
My smile dropped instantly. “What? You just came from there.”
He nodded. “I’m moving on from the club. The agency wants me down there working with the Shadow Syndicate full time.”
I shook my head. “Simon, they’re criminals. You’re going to go in alone? That’s ridiculous.”
“Won’t be alone. I’ll have you,” he answered, his hand tightening around my wrist. His eyes flashed in anger.
“What did Judge have to say about it?” I asked, knowing he could read my apprehension. There was no hiding anything from him.
He snorted. “Judge thinks he’s king. I’m sick of being one of his soldiers. We’re going to go to Las Vegas, and I’m gonna be king. And you’ll be my queen and have anything and everything you’ve ever wanted.”
“Simon—”
He cut me off by slamming his mouth onto mine. I pressed my hands against his chest, but he was too strong, forcing me back onto the sofa and climbing over me. His hands ripped at my shirt, tearing it open to expose my bra.
“Simon, stop, please,” I pleaded as he moved his mouth to my neck and his hands moved to my jeans, fighting with the buttons.
“Yeah, that’s right. Fight me. I know you love that kinky shit.”
I fought against him, my heart racing in fear. Simon had always been a straight forward fuck kinda guy. He liked to be on top. I’d tried on more than one occasion to try something, more adventurous in the bedroom, but he’d always shut me down. He said he hated seeing me acting like a slut. He liked to be in control, and I hadn’t minded too much.
I loved him. He was sweet and attentive, and just because
our sex life wasn’t exciting didn’t mean we couldn’t make our relationship work.
“Simon, stop!” I cried out as he forced his hands inside my pants finally.
He stopped suddenly, and I breathed a sigh of relief. “You’re not wet,” he growled softly. “Do you need it harder? Is that what a slut like you likes?”
His hand came to my throat, and I gasped as he applied pressure. My arms beat against his chest as he cut off my air.
It wasn’t working.
I could feel him hardening as he straddled my leg. I only had one option. I pulled my leg up between us as he sat over me, drawing my foot back and kicking with all the force I could muster, straight at his cock. He cried out in pain and fell to the side, onto the carpet.
Choking and spluttering, drawing in as much air as possible, I felt dizzy, the room was spinning. I knew I needed to move, run, but I couldn’t. Getting oxygen into my lungs was the only thing my body could do at that point.
“Ungrateful bitch!” Simon screamed, and suddenly there was a hand in my hair. He pulled and I screamed as my scalp burned. He dragged me off the sofa with a thump and began pulling me down the hallway as I scratched at the carpet and walls.
“Please stop! This isn’t you,” I cried out as tears streamed down my face. My mind couldn’t comprehend what was going on.
Who was this man?
He looked like the love of my life.
But inside, he had transformed into a monster.
He tossed me into the bedroom and I smashed my head against the bedside table.
“Take your clothes off and get on the bed,” he ordered, his voice dark and ominous. I saw through the blur of tears as he stripped off his shirt and began undoing his jeans. Simon was stronger than me, there was no chance of fighting my way out. There was only one way I was going to get out of this.
My hand slipped under the bed. I felt the cold metal of the gun in my hand and wrapped my hand around the handle. I brushed away the wetness in my eyes with my free hand and lifted the gun in front of me. “Get out,” I told him, my voice shaky but stern.
His eyes looked up, and a devilish smirk crawled onto his twisted face. “You gonna shoot your husband, Hadley? You’ll have the whole FBI come down on your ass.”