Truthfully, I had no idea if I figured into their plans at all in that regard anymore. I’m not sure I cared really, either. Not then, anyway.
Balidor looked up first.
His eyes widened when he saw me standing there, at the end of the aisle. He was still looking at me when he laid a hand on Revik’s arm, likely using a pulse of his light to get his attention. Revik looked at him first, his eyes showing him to be faintly startled. Then he followed Balidor’s gaze to me. Glancing at the men sitting and crouching around him, I realized that all of them were staring at me now.
I fought not to move. Part of me wanted to cover my bare belly with an arm, or maybe cross both arms over my chest. I didn’t. Instead I stood there, feeling my jaw tighten slightly.
Then Revik ripped the headset from around his ear. He did it so quickly it fell to the top of the VR screen sitting between them, but he didn’t look away from me.
He also didn’t speak. When they all continued to stare at me, I finally averted my gaze, still holding onto a seat back on either side of the narrow row where they sat.
“Could I, uh...” I let my eyes meet Revik’s again. “...Borrow you? Just for a minute.”
Feeling the silence deepen, I forced myself to hold his gaze.
“...If it’s a bad time,” I began.
“No.”
He stood, as rapidly as he’d taken off the headset. I saw Wreg rescue the VR monitor before it could fall onto the floor, even as he exchanged a faint smile with Balidor. Balidor was looking at my face though, his own expression inscrutable. When Revik turned his body sideways to edge down the aisle, Balidor grabbed his arm briefly, stopping him.
Some communication passed between them in the Barrier.
Whatever it was, Revik waved it away, frowning silently. His returning gesture looked like something along the lines of, “I know, I know.”
I wondered what exactly Balidor had reminded him of.
But I pushed that out of my mind, too.
Revik reached the end of the row of seats, looking tall to me again. Even so, I found myself studying his face briefly, just before he made a polite motion with one hand, indicating that I lead him wherever I wanted him to go.
Turning, I aimed my feet for the curtain separating the front and back compartments of the plane. I passed through the heavy material, then hesitated, looking at the rows of seats. My eyes found the odd-shaped bulkhead at the back then, and I realized that both sides had been curtained off in regular lengths along the windows of the main passenger cabin.
I didn’t see anyone else, but I knew there might be others in there.
Walking the rest of the way through, I made my way up a few rows of seats, then stopped, standing by the end of a row without sitting down. Turning, I faced Revik, still standing in the aisle as I leaned my weight against one of the seat backs.
He stood there, looking uncomfortable, but didn’t move away, or avert his gaze. I noticed he was wearing a jacket I recognized, from when I stayed with him in that rebel compound.
“The plane?” I said, glancing around. “Is it from before?”
He hesitated, then nodded. “They took most of it. Salinse and the others.”
I nodded again. For a moment, I found myself struggling with words. I didn’t want to be coy though, so I just looked up at him.
“I don’t really need you,” I said. He flinched a little, but I didn’t let my light dwell on that either, plowing on as I gestured with one hand. “...Right now, I mean,” I clarified. “I just...I guess I just wanted to talk to you.”
He nodded, his face still wearing that infiltrator’s mask.
He didn’t fold his arms, but I saw him shift his weight when I didn’t go on immediately.
Finally, I sighed, fingering my hair out of my eyes.
“I do need a shower,” I said, glancing around vaguely behind me. “Jon said there are showers here...and beds...”
Revik followed my eyes to the rear of the cabin. I felt a kind of relief on him once I gave him something actionable, something he could help me with.
“Yes,” he said. “There are showers. I can find you a bunk, Allie...”
“I don’t have any clothes,” I said. I felt my cheeks flush slightly, but I didn't look down at what I was wearing. “...Could I borrow some?”
“From me?” He stared at me blankly.
I felt my face grow hotter. “It doesn’t have to be you, Revik.”
He shook his head, clicking a little. “No, it’s fine. I just meant...”
He glanced down at me, his eyes lingering on the long skirt I wore. His skin colored a little, and I found myself staring up at his face when I noticed. I hadn’t seen him blush at anything when I lived with him as Syrimne. Not once.
In fact, I hadn’t seen him do that since...
“...I just don’t have anything...feminine, Allie.” He cleared his throat, avoiding my eyes. “I could ask one of the other infiltrators. Yumi, or...”
I shook my head though, gesturing a negative.
“It doesn’t need to be feminine, Revik.” I hesitated again. “...But you can ask whoever you want. Or I could," I added. "I could ask them. I just didn't think of it until now...”
He gestured another negative, shaking his head.
Before I could really decide what that meant, he motioned for me to follow him, making his way down the aisle towards the back. Reaching the section where the bulkhead seemed to curve outwards, he undid the latch to a rounded, organic-looking door that said ‘vacant’ over a green light that reminded me of toilets I’d seen on commercial planes.
When he opened the door, however, I was a little bewildered by the space on the other side. It looked more like a locker room bathroom in a gym back in San Francisco than it did one of the cramped, odd-shaped bathrooms found on most planes.
“Shower’s in here,” he said. He glanced at me, then let go of the handle. “I’ll be right back...wait here, Allie...please...”
I found myself watching as he walked back down the aisle. Wrapping my arms around my waist in the pause, I saw him pull a bag out of the overhead bin. Kind of a sophisticated duffle, it had handles on the side that he pulled, opening a flat panel on the widest of the storage segments.
I looked away as he rifled through the contents inside, glancing through the partway open door at the bathroom itself. As I did, I fought a wave of pain, seemingly out of nowhere. I forced it out of my light without trying to figure out what it was from, and off my face as he walked back towards me down the aisle. By the time he reached me again, I smiled at him, taking the proffered stack of clothes, folded neatly in his hands.
Pulling them against me, I fought to smile again. “Thanks.”
He hesitated, looking at me.
I felt him wanting to speak, so I didn’t say anything. Even so, I had to fight not to stare at him, especially his eyes. I found myself noticing what Jon had seen, what he’d told me about how Revik was now. But I couldn’t let myself go there, even then. I knew all about that kind of delusional thinking...I’d engaged in it for months when I’d lived with Syrimne before. I’d engaged in something similar in the tank with him, too, well after I should have known better.
I wasn’t sure I had it in me to be broken by that particular fantasy again.
Forcing my eyes off his when he noticed me staring, I looked back at the bathroom.
“Do you want me to wait?” he said.
I looked back at him, hiding my surprise. I answered before I’d really thought about it.
“Yes,” I said. Feeling my cheeks warm a second later, I fumbled to soften my answer. “But if you’re busy...with the others...”
He shook his head, once. “I’m not.”
I moved towards the door to the shower, but he caught hold of my arm.
I froze. Glancing back at him, I tried to hide the confusion in my light.
“Allie,” he said. He winced a little, meeting my gaze. “There is one more thing. Well...two,” he
amended. “Two more things.”
I continued to look up at him, unmoving. I watched his eyes study my face.
After another pause, he released my arm. He gestured vaguely as he averted his gaze.
“...There are remnants,” he said. “In your light. Balidor thought...” Clearing his throat, he wiped his face with one hand, still not looking at me. “We don’t want them following us. Salinse and his people. Or the Lao Hu...” He gestured again. “...Voi Pai seem to be allied with whoever was going to take you. We’ve felt the Dreng on them, too...”
But I already understood. I nodded, then gave the hand-language version of yes.
“It’s fine, Revik. Whatever you have to do.”
“It’s not much,” he said, looking me in the face again. His voice grew apologetic. “It’s from me, Allie...not from anything you did. It’s my fault it’s there...”
“It’s fine,” I said. “Really.” I held the folded clothes more tightly against my body, covering my bare skin self-consciously, despite what I'd told myself earlier. I gestured back towards the other side of the plane, beyond the curtain, using a brief wave with my fingers.
“Can you do it now?” I said. “Or do you need the others?”
“I can do it.” He continued to hold my gaze.
I was still looking up at him when his irises blurred faintly. I felt a part of him leave...his expression grew blank even as his mouth firmed somewhat in concentration.
Then his light flooded mine. I gripped the handle of the bathroom door, fighting not to panic as I felt him there. He only remained in the lower parts of my light briefly. I felt him start to scan me more thoroughly, emotion stripped from his light. The process felt methodical, almost clinical as he made his way through different layers in my aleimi. That part of him moved systematically up and through the lower segments of my light, until I felt him working high above my head, somewhere in the structures I used to perform the telekinesis and more complicated types of sight-work. The parts of my light I'd used when working with him in the tank, too.
I felt a sharp jolt then...a jerk right before...
...not really pain. It was like he’d broken something. Broken something on me...or maybe broken it off me, like a gardener cutting off a dead branch.
For a long moment, I just stood there, feeling him scan me, as if checking me for anything more. I held onto the bathroom door, gripping it tighter as a feeling of vulnerability came over me, so intense I was nearly shaking. He scanned me again. Then he did it a third time, cleaning off a few smaller things he found along the way.
Out of nowhere, heat hit my light, pooling in the middle of my chest.
I fought it, but it spread rapidly down my torso and through my limbs, making me breathe harder, worsening that vulnerability until it grew into a near panic. I tried to block what came with it, the emotions that rose up, nearly blinding me as I lost myself in that initial flush of light. But I couldn’t block it. It was as if a bandaid had been ripped off without warning...or maybe more like Novocain wearing off all at once, leaving nothing but heat and raw pain. I’d lost my ability to live in that blank space, where nothing mattered.
I felt Vash with me again, and Tarsi.
I felt Revik, too...still searching my light. This time, I felt the grief on him, the worry as he scanned me a fourth time. Then a fifth. Unwilling to risk leaving anything in me that he’d put there, that the Lao Hu or anyone else had put in me...
...The pain behind it made me gasp.
I gripped the door tighter. Clutching the clothes against my body, I fought to pull myself back, to control my light. I was fighting tears then, too.
I tried to push it away, to hold it in...even before I felt him coming back, returning to where we stood at the rear of the plane by the door to the shower.
I pulled myself upright, standing almost straight when I saw his eyes click back into focus. Still, he must have seen something in my face. He caught hold of my arm, pulling me to him. His eyes held that same worry, and now I could feel his light, all around me. I felt him noticing the difference in mine too, and pain rippled off him again, even as he pulled me closer.
“Allie. Gods. Are you all right?”
I clutched his arm with my free hand, still holding the bundle of his clothes against me. I tried to speak, then didn’t want to risk it and nodded instead. I looked away from him when my throat tightened, unable to meet that clear gaze.
He caressed my hair, kissing my cheek.
I flinched, even as I felt my light respond...more so when he opened his so close to mine. I fought not to just open to him in return, to merge into him again...but it was difficult, almost impossible when I felt another curl of emotion off his light. That part of me felt starved, half out of control when he opened more, letting me closer to him.
Finally, I averted my gaze from his, looking towards the shower.
His fingers loosened on me, but he didn’t let go.
“Allie,” he said.
I looked up, biting my lip.
I saw his eyes study mine. His expression looked almost the same as it had before, only now, I saw clearly behind the infiltrator’s mask. Pain lived there, a kind of longing that hurt to look at, especially when I felt another curl of his light. He caressed my hair again, pushing it back from my face, his throat moving in a swallow.
I was trying to force out words when he looked away, still holding my arm as he shoved his other hand in a front pocket of his pants.
I watched him pull something out.
My throat closed when I saw the silver chain, even before I saw what it held. Pain clenched my chest, worsening when he cleared his throat, when my eyes rose back to his.
His were bright. Too bright.
“Allie,” he said, his voice thick. “You don’t have to wear it. You can throw it away...” He pressed it into my hand, closing my fingers around it. “It’s yours, Allie. Please. Please don’t try to give it back to me again...”
I stared up at him. Then, forcing myself to move, I nodded. Still staring at my fingers wrapped around the silver chain, I nodded again dumbly.
My eyes found his fingers then. I focused on the band of silver around his index finger, not quite believing it was real. A shock touched my heart when he squeezed my hand tighter, and I saw the ring dimple the flesh around the bone. I stared at it...too long. Long enough for Revik to notice.
“Is it all right?” he said, caressing my fingers. His voice was lower than a whisper. “Can I wear it again, Allie?”
Another flicker of pain reached me. That time I didn’t know if it was his or mine.
Unable to speak, I only nodded.
I don’t think I looked at him again as I stumbled through the rounded door into the shower area, clutching the ring in one hand and his clothes in the other.
HE SAT IN one of the cloth airline seats, fighting not to feel what was going on in the rest of the plane. He occasionally saw one of the others look through the curtains from the other cabin, but no one bothered him, or tried to speak with him directly, which was a relief.
He kept his light from hers, too, in the adjacent room. He’d found her a place to sleep...it turned out only a few of the bunks were taken, and all of those were the smaller ones, closer to the front of the main cabin.
He remembered having the plane refitted for longer combat trips. They’d spent so much time in the air, those first few months he’d been with the rebels...
...but all of that seemed so long ago now.
His mind tried to toy with what they’d found out from Voi Pai in their scans of her between the Forbidden City and the small airport where his pilots guarded his plane. He couldn’t concentrate on that, either. Not enough concrete information lived in her mind to really distract him from the person on the other side of the rounded door.
Voi Pai knew enough about Gerwix’s patrons to know they could harm the Lao Hu. She hadn’t exactly sworn allegiance to them, not like one had to swear allegiance to the Rooks in
the time of the Pyramid, or even the rebellion less than a year ago. It was more like a tribute relationship, it seemed. The Lao Hu paid protection tribute to these people...like they owed them some kind of debt. What they got in return still wasn’t clear; the blocks on the female seer’s light had been extensive, and well-constructed. Too well constructed for Balidor or any of the others to crack them before they made it to the airport.
He would have liked to take her with them, to find out more. But that had been impossible, too. As it was, Allie hadn’t been wrong, when she said this would mean war. The Lao Hu would never forgive him for taking their leader from them, for holding her captive, removing her from the City...even for so short a time. It would definitely mean war.
It would also mean that the Lao Hu might see fit to ally with their enemies, which was another development they couldn’t really afford.
But he couldn’t say he regretted it, either.
He just wished they’d been able to discover who pulled Gerwix’s leash. He didn’t know of any group of seers powerful enough that the Lao Hu would fear them. But someone was out there, and it wasn’t Salinse and his seers.
If it had been, Voi Pai would never have attacked them.
In fact, he almost got the impression from her light that she’d been acting under orders with that, too...and with luring Allie to the City. He wondered if they would have found some other pretext to take her before her contract terms expired. He even wondered if they’d known how Allie would react to Gerwix...if they’d sent him as a test, to see if she would kill him.
Feeling a pain sliver through his light, he gripped the armrests of the economy chair.
She’d killed Gerwix. He knew he shouldn’t feel touched by that, or feel as much emotion as what rose in him at the memory...but he couldn’t help it. The fact that she’d cared enough to even react that way brought enough feeling that he could barely breathe.
It also gave him a flicker of hope.
He jumped when the door opened behind him.
Turning his head, he didn’t stand up until he saw her outline in the backlit opening. She wasn’t looking at him, but down at her feet as she fumbled with the handle of the door. She turned her back to him as she shut it more firmly, twisting the mechanism until it caught.
Allie's War Season Two Page 120