by Shyla Colt
The girls exchange a look. “I guess we could eat?” Ilana says as Neomi nods.
“Willow?” Drew turns to me.
“I’m starving.”
“All the flower talk, right?”
I elbow him playfully. “Be nice.”
“Let’s see if we can get into the Eagle,” Drew says.
“Oh, they have the best chicken, Dad,” Neomi says.
“We have to get an order of candied bacon.”
“Candied bacon?” I ask.
“You’ve never been?” Drew asks.
“No.”
“Oh, you’re in for a treat then.” He wraps his arm around my shoulders, and the girls proceed to make my mouth water with glowing reviews about the restaurant located in the Over The Rhine neighborhood. I hang back at dinner, allowing the family dynamic to flow as I occasionally add my two cents in. I can feel the chill coming from the girls, who remind me in subtle ways that I’m an outsider. Drew navigates the icy waters like a pro, but I don’t want to push. I’m the intruder. I don’t want them thinking I’m trying to come in and take over. I’m slightly relieved when the bill is paid, and we’re heading back to my house.
When we reach my house, I turn around in my seat. “I had a great time today, girls. Thanks for letting me come with you.”
“You’re welcome.” The words are muttered, and I try not to examine the level of sincerity as I exit the car.
“Well, that wasn’t too painful.”
“I don’t know … toward the end it was pretty ouchtastic,” I say as we walk to my front door.
“It’s going to take time.” He twines our fingers.
“I know.”
“Are you still up for it?”
I glance at him in the fading light and squeeze his hand. “Andrew Hunter, I’m not going anywhere.”
His lips twitch up. “Just checking.”
We reach my door, and I unlock it and step inside.
“I miss the feeling of your lips on mine,” he says.
“I know, but I’d rather not make your daughters dislike me any more than they already do.”
“I’ll give them time to adjust, and then the frequent kissing will resume.”
“I’m down for that.” I kiss my fingers and place them against his lips. I don’t know if there’s anything sexier than a man being a good father.
As he walks away, I let the word love marinate in my brain.
Chapter Five
Drew
I hit ignore on the phone. I know the number by heart; Monica is trying to call from prison. I don’t have a damn thing to say to her. It’s time to cut ties. She received the papers stripping her of her parental rights. The calls are for one of two reasons: she’s trying to cuss me out or talk me out of it. Either way, I’m over it. This is our chance for a clean break. If the girls ever decide they’d like to reconnect, I’ll support it. For now, I return my attention to my mother.
“The girls told me you took them out with your lady friend.”
“Girlfriend, and yeah I did. I felt all of us one-on-one was the best way to introduce her to the family. What did they say?”
“She seemed nice, but they don’t trust her.”
I sigh. “Yeah, that’s the feeling we got. I could strangle Monica.”
“You did the best you could. This is a first for them. You’ve never brought a woman around them like this. She’s new. A chance for them to learn to trust someone who’s not family.”
“Eventually she’s going to be.”
“Wait. What?” Her jaw drops.
“Mom, this is the woman I’m going to marry.”
“Does she know that?”
“I think so. We haven’t talked about it, but I feel it here.” I tap my chest.
“It’s so soon.”
“Maybe, but it doesn’t change the way I feel. I need them settled before I leave on the road. I want her active in their lives.”
“You can’t force it.”
“I know. But I think it’s time they have their comfort zone challenged.”
“I’m happy for you, baby. I hope this all works out the way you want it to.”
“Me too.”
“Tell me more about this young woman.”
“She’s amazing … so smart, kind, and funny. She’s a florist, but she also co-runs the shop. She loves to go to thrift shops, read, and explore. We have so much fun doing nothing, and I can talk to her. She gets me. I’ve never felt like this with another woman.”
“They told me she’s an African American.”
I tense. “She is. Is that a problem?”
“What? Of course not. I think it’d be good for the girls to get a chance to learn more about that part of their heritage. When they told me she was like them, it took me a moment to understand what they meant by that.”
“That’s how they described her?” I say, shocked.
“Along with pretty, yes.”
It’s eye opening. I realized logically that they must notice the inference in skin tones, but I never knew they thought of themselves as black.
“It was a very matter of fact statement. There was no hesitation or hang-up about it.”
“They’re growing up on me too damn fast.”
“Kids will do that on you if you blink.”
I smirk. “You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?”
“Watching my first born navigate through parenting? Yes. Especially when he’s doing such a damn good job.”
“’Cause you’re not biased.”
“Maybe, but it doesn’t make it any less true.”
“Thanks, Mom.”
“Now when will the rest of us get to meet Ms. Willow?”
“I’m having her stop by for Sunday dinner if that’s okay.”
“Fine by me.”
My phone vibrates. Taking it from my pocket, I sigh and hit answer. “Hello, Kathy.”
“What the hell do you think you’re pulling?”
“Excuse me?”
“Removing my daughter’s parental rights. You’re not even their real father.”
“I believe a court of law would beg to differ, and if I’m not mistaken, Monica has how much longer on her sentence?”
“That’s not the point.”
“Then what is? Because I’m trying to make sure my children are covered and cared for in the event that anything happens to me.”
“I’m not going to let you get away with this. We have rights.”
“Have I ever kept you from the girls?” I ask.
“Your family gets them more than we do.”
“I understand that you’re upset. I highly suggest you take some time to get yourself together before this gets uglier than it needs to be.”
“Oh, it’s too late for all that.”
“Okay, I’m going to go now, Kathy.” I disconnect, shaking my head.
“What was that all about?” Mom asks.
“Kathy finally going off the deep end thanks to Monica.”
“Lord, that family is nonstop drama.”
“They’re so broken. I don’t think they even know where to start to fix themselves.” I used to think I could help. I’ve played mediator between mother and daughter, paid for rehab stints and counseling, only to come to the conclusion that they don’t want it. I can’t make them do the work.
“Whatever she’s up to, we’re covered.”
We lapse into silence as we drink our coffee.
“I’m surprised you aren’t in the studio today.”
“They’re working on mixing a few things. I’ll check on them tomorrow. I need the time away, to be honest. I was losing my ability to be objective.”
“You’ve been working so hard, I’m not surprised.”
“I know I had such a small window of time to put in work. Recording on the road rarely turns out as well as allocating time to focus solely on the recording. The flights squeezed in between shows are torturous.” I shake my hand. Never again unless it’s an em
ergency.
“I’m happy to see you drawing some boundaries.”
“I just realized I was burning the wick at both ends and it was affecting every area of my life. I had to slow down and reevaluate things.” Days blurred together as I stumbled through life in a zombie-like stagger. I was so hungry and eager to prove myself to everyone I lost sight of what mattered most: the music and the message it brings. Back on track, I feel like I found my balance.
***
We walk the tightly packed rows of Findlay Market, taking in the unique offerings. It’s a tradition that we get Belgian waffles from the food shop in the center and make our way up the row in one direction and then the other.
“You guys don’t want one?” I ask with a frown.
Ilana’s eyes light up, and she opens her mouth to speak. Neomi glares, and Ilana shuts her mouth and shakes her head.
“Okay, your loss,” I say as I pull Willow into the line with me at Taste of Belgium. Willow sighs heavily. The integration process has all but ground to a halt thanks to one very stubborn Hunter. The more time we spend together, the more Neomi draws a very clear line in the sand. Ilana is caught in the middle, eager to connect with another female. She mutes her responses to remain loyal to her twin sister. I’ve been careful not to bombard the family with Willow. I keep our time separate with the exception of once or twice a week. My time is ticking own before my tour, and I’m starting to get annoyed with Ne’s behavior.
Everyone has warmed to Willow, except her. Right now, she’s bordering on being rude as she disagrees with nearly everything.
“Let her expresses herself, Drew.”
“No, not at the constant expense of you. I’ve had enough.” I take out my wallet and hand her twenty bucks. “Here, you and Ilana get the waffles, Ne and I are going for a walk.” I wave the girl over. “Come on, let’s go for a walk, Neomi. Lana, you keep Willow company.”
I wait for a few minutes into our stroll before I begin to speak. “Do you want to tell me what’s going on with you?”
“What? I have to like Willow?”
“No, and if I thought that was truly the case, I’d keep my mouth shut. You’re allowed to form your own opinions about people. What you aren’t allowed to do is be rude to them when they don’t deserve it. I can’t figure it out. No one’s shoving her down your throat, and she’s very nice to the two of you.”
“Yeah, now,” she explodes.
I blink, shocked. “Now?”
“Yes. Sure, she’s nice now, when you’re around. What about when you leave, hmm? Why should I have any faith in her when she’s just going to show her true colors later?”
“Why would you say that, Neomi?” I ask gently.
Her eyes glisten with unshed tears that tear me apart. “Because that’s how it happens. Granny agrees. She said Willow only wants you for your money, and the minute you’re preoccupied with something else, she’ll show her true colors. I’m tired of being hurt, Dad.”
“Wait, Kathy said this?” My fury builds by the second.
She nods and sniffs. “I tried to tell Ilana, but she said Granny was wrong. Why would Granny say it if she didn’t believe it? She only wanted to spare me pain, she said so. And, Daddy, I don’t want to get attached to her if she’s going to disappear. Mom was that way. Nice until suddenly one day she wasn’t anymore.”
Wrapping an arm around Neomi, I pull her to my side. “Oh, honey, I am so sorry you’ve been going through this alone. I wish you would’ve come to me.”
“Granny said you were too blinded by her beauty to see it.”
“Honey, your Granny is wrong. I know you love her, but she’s hurting over your mother’s poor life choice. It makes her mean and spiteful when she shouldn’t be, and your mother has an addiction. She’s not reliable. She can’t be because it rules her every waking thought, it’s a disease, and she has a severe case of it. Willow doesn’t have that. She genuinely cares about you two, and she is not going anywhere.”
Neomi sniffs. “What about when you leave for your tour?”
“She’ll still be around. You can call her whenever you like, and I’m pretty sure she’d like to continue to do things with you, but only if you’re open to that. The thing about being closed off from everyone is you miss out on all the good stuff along with the bad.” I wipe the tears away from her eyes.
“What if she doesn’t like me after how I’ve been?”
“Honey, she’s not holding a grudge, but it would be really nice of you to apologize. I know you’ve hurt her feelings, and all she wanted to do was form a relationship with you.”
“I’m sorry, Daddy.” She looks down, and I hold her tighter.
“I won’t say it’s okay because it wasn’t, but I understand that this is a tough transition. It’s been just the three of us for a long time, but in time it’s going to be the four if she says yes, and I want you to be prepared for that.”
“You want to marry her?” Neomi whispers.
“I do. What do you think of that?”
“I think Willow is really cool, Dad. Honestly, I do. She doesn’t treat us like we’re babies, and she knows a lot about flowers and make-up, all kinds of girly stuff and books.”
“I think hearing that from you would really brighten her day, and I’m going to have a talk with Granny. I think we all need a little space from each other. She never should’ve said what she did to you, and if anyone ever tells you something that feels off, you come to me with it next time, okay?”
She nods her head, and I bend down and kiss her crown. “I love you, kid.”
“I love you, too, Daddy. I want to find Willow and Ilana and apologize.”
“Let’s get to it.” I fake a smile while I guide her back toward the eating area. This was the last straw. I maintain my cool. Neomi breaks away from me and runs toward Willow, wrapping her arms around her waist as she hugs her tight. She glances over her head at me, shocked, as she strokes Neomi’s hair.
I smile at her and mouth ‘I’ll tell you later. She’s fine.’ Things are going to start coming together now.
“Are you sure you don’t want that waffle?” I ask Neomi once I reach them.
“I think I would actually,” she says.
“Then let’s get back in line.” Willow hands me the change, and I get into the line. The air is lighter, and as we rejoin Ilana, I see with my own eyes my future. Willow is a natural, and the girls respond well to her. I enjoy the rest of our time wandering from booth to booth. When they opt to go into Churchill’s tea shop, I lag behind, telling them I’ll meet them at the car.
Pulling out my phone, I call Kathy.
“Hello?”
“Kathy, I’m calling to let you know we’ll be taking a break from you. I had a very interesting talk with Neomi, who shared all your inappropriate statements about Willow with me. I don’t appreciate your meddlesome behavior. I’ll contact you if and when we’re ready. Any attempt to bully me or my children will lead to more distance, and if necessary a court date.”
I hang up, imagining her jaw flopping open like a fish’s. The childish thrill the image brings brightens my day. This was a long time coming. I’ve taken control and restored peace. Monica can’t touch us, and if Kathy tries, my lawyer is ready. I’ve put the ghosts of my past to rest, and I’m free to move into the future.
***
Willow
“Are we ready, ladies?” I call up the stairs.
Carly shakes her head. “They’re so excited to go with you this weekend.”
“We’re going to have fun. I’m doing a girls’ weekend and reliving my slumber party days,” I say sheepishly.
Carly laughs. “They’ll love it.”
“What are you going to do?” I ask.
“Get out in my flower beds.”
“They look wonderful.”
“Thank you, honey. I have some fillers I want to place in to even out the left side; it’s looking a little sparse.” Her brow furrows, and I can see Drew. He’s been gone
for four months, and I miss him daily. The phone calls, texts, and surprise packages in the mail go a long way toward keeping us connected, but I miss his scent, the feel of his arms around me, and his presence. He breezes in for a few days here and there, but in some ways, it makes it worse. It’s just enough time to get used to him being home before he has to leave. Having the girls keeps me strong. They miss him, too, and slowly we’ve formed our own special bond.
“I’ll have them back Sunday evening, fed, homework done, and ready to start school on Monday.”
“Thank you, Willow,” Carly says with a bright grin. Knowing their family history, I’m amazed by her sunny outlook on life. I move in to hug her.
“No, thank you for trusting me with them.”
“They’ve really blossomed since you’ve been around. You can reach them in ways that I can’t.”
I smile at her careful wording. We’ve talked about hair products and skin care, and they soak up the time and attention from my family. As far as we know, Monica doesn’t know who their biological father is, or simply refuses to say, so they haven’t been exposed to the other side of their heritage. I make it a point to fill in the gaps and give them a safe space to asks questions and talk openly. They have their moments, like most children on the cusp of teen years, but Drew and his family have done such an amazing job raising them.
“We’re coming down, Lowy,” Ilana says in a sing-song voice. She appears at the top of the stairs with her black duffle bag slung across her body and Neomi trailing behind her. Neomi took a lot longer to come around, but she loves hard. Of the two, she’s the one who texts and calls me the most. She’s starved for maternal attention, and I’m happy to give it to her. I was nervous coming into this relationship. I knew I wanted to be a mother someday, but I expected to have ten years of figuring out how to do it before I got to this emotionally ramped, hormone-driven stage.
We’re figuring these things out together.
“You realize you’re only going to be with me for two days, right?” I ask.
“Yes, but you never said exactly what we’d be doing,” Neomi states with a shrug.
Shaking my head, I glance over at Carly, who’s holding back laughter. These girls are going to be a force to be reckoned with when they’re sixteen. What are we going to do with them, Drew?