“Daniel, I’ve made promises and commitments…”
“You’ve made promises to me.”
“I made other promises first. I have things I have to do.”
“What could be more important?” he asked.
She lost herself in his eyes - eyes that were so filled with sadness that she couldn’t bear it. “I don’t know what to do,” she said. “I’m at a loss. I haven’t forgotten you. I never will. But I just don’t know what else to do. I can’t drag you into something.”
“I don’t care. Drag me with you.”
“As much as I hate to do this,” she muttered to herself, staring at the ground. Then she looked back into his eyes. “Daniel, you don’t know how much I hate to do this. You have to think of me as a summer romance.”
“It wasn’t summer.”
“But it could have been.”
“It wasn’t. It didn’t feel like summer. I’ve had summer.”
“Each time feels different.”
“No,” he said.
“This wasn’t supposed to happen. This wasn’t meant to be.”
“How the hell do you know that?”
“I wasn’t supposed to be here. I wasn’t even myself.”
“Then tell me. Who were you Madison?”
She shook her head and bit her lip.
“Who were you?” he repeated, with barely suppressed anger. “If you weren’t yourself, then tell me who the fucking hell I fell in love with.”
“Don’t speak to me like that,” she whispered, standing up.
“Then don’t be an idiot.”
“You’re the idiot,” she said, and walked away from him. He stood up to follow her, but he didn’t have the strength in his legs to hold him. As Madison walked away, flanked by her parents, one on each side of her, he sank back to the bench.
Chapter Twelve
One month later to the day - Madison knew it was to the day because she now considered the twelfth of any month to be like the Ides of March - a day to be dreaded and avoided, she sent her staff home early and went to sit in her office.
She had immediately resumed work after she got back to Houston. Just as she had suspected, everyone had just assumed that she needed to get away after the shooting.
She’d asked Timothy to meet her here at four because she wanted to do this on her turf and because she wanted to get it over with as early as possible so she could just go home and go to bed.
That’s what she had been doing all month. Going to work, then going home and climbing into the bed. What kind of life was that? Everyone who knew or even suspected, asked her that question at every opportunity.
Especially her mother. On the plane ride home, her mother had said something totally out of character for her. She had said, “Madison, you have to follow your heart.”
“But you’re the one who says love is what you make of it.”
“Exactly. It is what you make of it. Why do you think I’ve stayed with your father all these years?”
“Because you’re compatible.”
“Because we love each other. I’ve never told you how we met.”
“You were introduced at college.”
“No, we were never introduced. I was in line at registration. That was back when we had to physically pick up computer cards for our classes.”
Madison nodded. She’d heard about this concept before.
“There was a handsome young man who said he was in a hurry and could he please break in front of me. He whispered this in my ear so the others in line couldn’t hear, I suppose. But I was entranced.”
“Dad did that?”
“Oh no, that wasn’t your dad. I never saw that boy again. I let him go ahead of me. He swooped in there and took the last card for anthropology that should have been mine.”
“How rude.”
“Oh very. I was quite upset about it. But I was more upset that I never saw him again. He was quite handsome. Anyway, I was forced to take an accounting class. It was the only thing left that I could take during that time slot.”
“You hate math.”
“Indeed. I do and I did then. There was this geeky guy who sat next to me who finally offered to help me after class since I kept asking so many questions in class. He claimed the professor kept giving us looks.”
“That was Dad?”
Zoe nodded. “That was Dad. I thought he was a total geek for not only understanding accounting, but enjoying it, too.”
“So, you didn’t like him at first?”
“Nope. And after accounting class was over, I expected he was out of my life. He looked me up though. He found me halfway through the next semester in my history class. He never really told me how he found me.” She got quiet. Seemed to go back in time for a few minutes. “Anyway, he did and I was impressed enough to have pizza with him. And that was that.”
“You never told me that story, Mom.”
“And I’ll deny it if you ever repeat it. The point that I’m trying to make here is that that baby died in your office for a reason. You went to Durango for a reason. The fact that you had to lose your memory to get you out of Houston and up to that train at that particular time should tell you how important it was for you to be there.
“From what I saw with you and Daniel, that thing between you isn’t common. How can you just walk away from that? How can you leave that behind to go back to some two-bit salesman to a job that is running you in the ground?”
“Timothy is a broker.”
“Broker. Salesman. Who cares? Do you love him?”
“Who?”
Her mother shook her head sadly. “You can’t even admit to yourself what you know in your heart.”
She jumped when the front door to her clinic opened. She’d thought she’d locked it. She was jumpy about strangers coming into her office - ever since the shooting. She blew out her breath when she saw it was only Timothy.
He walked into her office and sat in one of the chairs in front of her desk. “What was so important?” he asked.
No, hi, how are you? I’m happy to see you. No hug. Nothing. Just brief and to the point.
“Thanks for coming in,” she said, purposefully, delaying his gratification.
“I had to take off work early.”
“Great. It’ll be good for your heart.”
“Madison, what is this?” When they had first started seeing each other, he’d liked hearing her knowledge of the human body.
What the heck? He didn’t deserve any cushioning. “I’m not going to marry you.”
He looked at her blankly. “Funny.”
“I’m not kidding. I’m not going to marry you.”
“How can you not marry me? I’ve been good for you. I’ve invested in you. I’ve rubbed your back after a hard day at work. I’ve spent tons of money on you.”
“I’m sorry to hear you were keeping score.”
“How could I not? You’re giving up a good man.”
“Maybe so,” she said. “But, you aren’t the good man for me.”
“You’re insane.”
“I may be insane, but frankly, I think I’ve come to my senses.” She slowly removed the ring from her finger, the ring that she had found at home in her jewelry box. She hadn’t even bothered to wear it on her trip to Durango. And held it out to him in her hand.
“It’s yours. You should keep it,” he said.
His generosity set off alarm bells in her head. “I don’t want it. Maybe you can return it and get some of that tons of money back that you spent on me.”
He took it from her then, and, getting up, turned and stormed from the room. When she heard the front door to the clinic slam, she quickly went out and locked it. Then, leaning against the door, she closed her eyes and breathed a sigh of relief.
That was over. He would just let her go and never bother her again.
Then she walked slowly back to her office and looked around. She’d put a lot into this. She’d worked hard to get it just right
. To make it professional, yet warm. She’d grown up professionally here in this clinic.
But now it was time to move on. It was time to go follow her heart.
Daniel sat next to Kevin as the scout car started up the hill. According to all accounts, the track was clear and ready to resume business. Today was the first time an actual car of any type would test it out.
The train track had been out of commission for just over a month now and Daniel had been worried that their stock would fall. However, just the opposite had occurred. They were booked solid through next summer. Maybe the publicity had gotten the word out there about the train and more people were now aware of it. It was really the only explanation he could come up with.
It went against logic. But then the public often was not logical.
He had had lots of time to think. Maybe too much time.
Perhaps it was time he followed his father’s path. Maybe it was time he moved into corporate management instead of hands on management of the trains. The train wreck may have been a sign - a sign that it was time for him to move up the ladder.
His dad had been trying to get him to make the move for years. He had just been putting it off. He so enjoyed the train. He supposed he could still make guest appearances on it. His dad had done that at first, too, then he had eventually stopped. He was enjoying the fruit of his hard work - and the hard work of his father before him.
Daniel smiled when he thought of his grandfather – also Daniel. He spent most of his time traveling and puttering around his garden with his long-time wife - Victoria. That was Daniel’s goal in life - to be like the man he was named after.
And to have his own Victoria.
Which brought his thoughts full-circle to Madison.
She was his Victoria. He knew that with all his heart. There were only two problems with that, really. One, he had to convince her of it. He didn’t really think that would be so difficult. It hinged, however, on the second problem - he had to find her.
It wasn’t as though he hadn’t tried. He considered himself fairly good at using the Internet, but he’d come up with nothing, even with having a pretty good idea that she was from Houston.
Nonetheless, he hadn’t given up. There was a possibility that Madison McKivitz was not her real name. Maybe in her memory loss, she had forgotten and fabricated a new name. People had fake identification cards made all the time. He shook his head. That didn’t seem like her.
His next step was to go back to the townhouse and find her from there.
Kevin stopped and Daniel realized they were at the point of the train wreck. The tracks looked intact. “Let’s do it,” he told Mike and they started driving over the newly laid track.
It was a smooth ride and at the end of the newly repaired area, he declared the track ready for the trains. They would start next Monday.
Without him.
Chapter Thirteen
Madison looked around her townhouse at the chaos and refused to be overwhelmed. She had half-filled boxes everywhere. Her place had sold far more quickly than she had expected and with a cash offer on the table, she had to be out in one week. Her parents were coming in the morning to help her meet her deadline.
Fluffy jumped from inside one box of books into another.
“Is that one better?” she asked.
Fluffy merely blinked at her.
Stretching her back, she decided to take a break.
She still had a stack of wood that her dad had furnished that she really didn’t want to haul around the country, and the temperature was in the forties tonight.
She turned on the tea kettle for hot chocolate, then, with Fluffy watching her every move, she laid the logs in the fireplace, added some kindling, and struck a match. After the fire blazed up, she closed the screen, gathered her cup of hot chocolate, and tucked her legs beneath her to enjoy the warmth. Fluffy stretched out next to her on the mat.
Absently rubbing Fluffy’s head, Madison reflected on her recent life changes. After breaking up with Timothy, she had put her townhouse on the market, and resigned her position at the clinic. She wasn’t quite sure what her next move would be, but she had some options. Some options that seemed more satisfying than continuing in the direction she had been heading before the shooting had sent her into a fugue state.
She could stay here in the Houston area and find another job, maybe even open up her own practice. She could go someplace new - sort of a conscious fugue.
She poked at the fire and added a log before warming her hands in front of it.
Or, she could go back to Durango and see if Daniel still had that offer on the table.
That was the riskiest option because her heart would be on the line for it. She would be giving up a way of life for a man she hadn’t seen or spoken to in almost two months. She didn’t even know if he was still interested in her.
Sipping her hot chocolate, she let her mind circle around that option. Her cell phone indicated a text message.
It was from her dad: Did you save us anything to do tomorrow?
Smiling, she texted back teasingly: I haven’t even started!
Her mom wrote back: We’ll be there. Your dad loves to pack.
Madison: I’ll try to save something for you to do.
Setting down her phone, Madison replayed the conversation she’d had with her mom on the plane. Her words kept echoing in her mind: you have to follow your heart.
She was in love with Daniel. That much she knew to be true. But was love enough? Was it enough to give up a way of life for another person? Just because she was in love with him didn’t mean that it would work out.
It had worked out for her parents, she argued with herself.
Setting aside her mug, she poked at the fire again. She was restless. She considered taking some sleep medication, but it was only eight o’clock.
She could get in another couple of hours of packing and by then, surely, she would be sleepy.
When the doorbell rang, she froze. Fluffy jumped up and ran up the stairs to the bedrooms.
Madison almost followed. Who could possibly be here unannounced? It could be Timothy. He hadn’t tried to contact her since the breakup, but there could still be some resentment on his part to play out.
She went to the door and peeped through the view finder. She stepped back. Blinked to clear her eyes. Looked again to be sure.
It was Daniel.
How could it be? How could he possibly have found her?
It wasn’t possible.
As she stood there, considering the impossibleness of the situation, he called her name.
“Madison! It’s kind of cold out here.”
She opened the door and stood staring at him. “How did you find me?” she asked.
“It was not easy,” he said.
“It’s impossible.”
“Nothing is impossible,” he said quietly. “Can I come in?”
She stepped back and allowed him to come inside. She shut the door behind him.
He glanced around, his gaze settling on the fireplace.
“Come get warm,” she offered.
He moved to the fireplace. “Are you alone?”
“No,” she said.
He stared at her. She could see the indecision in his eyes.
“Fluffy’s here.”
He smiled. “You have a cat. I thought you would.”
She returned his smile. “Yeah.”
He took her hand, sighed. “I missed you so much.”
“I missed you, too.”
He glanced around at the packing project that was obviously going on. “Where are you going?”
“I haven’t decided yet.”
“You quit your job.”
She nodded.
Then a thought seemed to occur to him. “Do you remember.... me?”
Madison smiled sadly at him. “I remember everything.”
“Then it’s not true that you forget where you went on a fugue.”
“Sometimes
it is. But it wasn’t true for me. I wanted to remember.”
He took her other hand, holding both of them now. “Why didn’t you contact me?”
“I had some things to think about.”
He nodded. “And some things to do.”
“Yes.”
“I thought as much,” he looked around again. “So, you don’t know where you’re taking your stuff?”
“Storage maybe. I have a week left. I can always stay with my parents until I decide what to do next.”
“Uh huh,” he answered. “There’s Fluffy,” he said, nodding toward the bottom step of the staircase. “Do you think she’ll come over here?”
“I don’t know. Do you want to sit down?”
They sat in front of the fireplace and Fluffy slowly made her way over to Madison.
“She’s a pretty cat,” he said. “Where was she when you were gone?”
“Apparently, I boarded her.”
“You were so organized. You managed to take care of everything before you forgot who you were.”
“It’s odd, isn’t it?”
“Very.”
She didn’t say it, but it was almost as if something was determined that she get to Durango. If she wasn’t willing to go on her own, she was placed there anyway.
“Can I help?” he asked, nodding toward the boxes.
“Be careful asking that question,” she said, petting Fluffy’s back. “I just might take you up on it.”
“Madison,” he said. “Why else do you think I came here?”
“To help me pack?”
“Yes.”
“But how could you know I would be?”
“I didn’t.”
“So… you came to help me pack without knowing that I would be moving.”
“Yeah. I came to get you.”
She stared at him. He’d come to get her? One part of her wanted to dance for joy. The other part of her rebelled.
“Or, if you didn’t want to go, which is the more likely version, I came to be with you.”
“To be with me?”
He looked at her with a raised eyebrow, then reached out and stroked Fluffy. Then took Madison’s hands in his. She blinked at him, but didn’t back away.
Pretend You'll Stay (Winter Kisses Book 2) Page 15