by K. G. Reuss
“Maggie, come stay with me. Please! You don’t deserve any of this,” Lance said desperately. “I’ll keep you safe. It’s my job.”
“Your job isn’t to look out for me twenty-four seven,” I scoffed, wiping at my eyes.
“Yeah, it really is.” He closed his eyes sadly. “This sucks. I hate it.”
I figured he was talking about the situation we were in, so I didn’t comment on it.
“I’ll leave when I’m eighteen. Before then, I have to get things straightened up for me and my mom—”
“Your mom is a lost cause, Maggie. At least for now. You’re more important—”
“She’s my mom, Lance.” I swallowed hard. “I can’t leave her.”
“You can’t save everyone,” he countered fiercely.
“I can try,” I breathed out. “I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t at least try,”
“You’re an infuriating angel, you know that?” Lance sighed, kissing my forehead.
I smiled sadly at his use of the word angel. I wasn’t sure if broken souls even made it to Heaven.
I had faith, though. And not much else.
Chapter 29
I decided I could make it to school on Monday morning despite how much pain I was in. As I stared at myself in my mirror before I left my house, I drew in a deep breath.
“Be strong. Smile through the pain. It’s going to get better. Faith. Not hope.”
I forced a wobbly smile onto my face. The dark circles under my eyes were far too noticeable. Reaching out, I picked up some makeup and dotted on thick layers over my skin, so I didn’t look like I’d been through the ringer. Fortunately enough, if you could call it that, Alan’s fingerprints that were bruised onto my neck had faded significantly over the weekend. But just to be safe, I added a layer of makeup and wore a dress with a high collar. Pulling on my cardigan, I made sure it was covering everything else that needed to be hidden.
Still discontent with how I looked, I frowned at myself in the mirror. I was tired. Worn out. I needed some sort of escape from the nightmare I was living. I just wasn’t sure how or where to find it.
I walked to school, moving more slowly than usual due to pain. Lance had a habit of picking me up on the corner of my street, but I’d told him the night before that I just wanted to walk alone. The less I had to be around anyone, the better. I didn’t have to work so hard to hide the pain when I was alone.
“Good morning, beautiful,” Lance greeted me as I stepped onto the school lawn.
“Good morning,” I answered, shoving the smile I’d practiced in the mirror onto my face. Lance’s hand came out, and he took my backpack from me and carried it, his other arm snaking around my waist.
“How was your night?” he asked, kissing the top of my head before steering me toward the front doors.
“Restless,” I replied, grimacing as the pain ricocheted through my aching body.
“You look tired,” he commented. “But still just as beautiful as always.”
“Thank you.” I leaned into him. His arm tightened around me as we walked, making me grind my teeth to keep from crying out.
“I know we haven’t really talked about it, but I think we should,” Lance started, clearing his throat. My attention was momentarily diverted as I saw Brax walk across the lawn. I wasn’t sure if he noticed us or not, but he fell in step a few feet behind us, his eyes downcast.
“So, will you go to the Homecoming dance with me?” Lance’s question brought me back to the conversation.
Homecoming. I wanted to go so badly, but I wasn’t sure if it was a good idea. A night of dancing and laughing seemed like something I could use.
“I don’t know, Lance. You know how Alan is about me doing anything socially. And I’d have to tell them because I’d need a dress. Not to mention, how late I’d have to be out.”
It wasn’t a lie. After the weekend I’d had, the last thing I wanted to do was upset Alan more.
“We’ll figure it out. Don’t worry about that. If your parents weren’t an obstacle, would my girlfriend like to go to Homecoming with me?”
I smiled. Girlfriend. God, I wanted to go so bad! I wanted to be normal! Maybe whatever I had to go through to attend would be worth it. One night where I could relax. One night where I could be a girl with her boyfriend, dancing beneath twinkle lights.
“I’d like to go to the dance with you,” I answered bashfully. My first dance! Oh, how I craved it!
“Then we’ll figure it out,” Lance kissed the top of my head fiercely before we had to separate to go to our classes which were in opposite directions.
Happiness filled me, something that didn’t happen all that often. Corbin fell in step beside me. Where did he come from?
“Hey, there,” he said in his deep voice. “You’re a bit of a hard bird to catch, you know that?”
“Um, were you looking for me?” I asked, glancing around. I knew Lance wanted me to keep my distance from Corbin, but really, what harm would it do to talk to him while at school?
“For quite some time,” Corbin smiled. “Did you get into too much trouble with your old man the other day?”
“Some,” I answered, my voice shaking as the ugly memories surfaced. I pushed them back down and drew in a deep breath.
“I’m sorry to hear that,” he replied, sympathy laced in his deep voice. “Truly, it wasn’t my intention. I just wanted to get to know you and help you out.”
“I’m not quite sure how taking me off school property was helping,” I answered with a shaky laugh. “But I appreciate the thought.”
“Trust me. It helped,” Corbin tossed me an easy wink. “So… I was thinking.”
“What?” I asked, glancing over at him. His hand came out and pulled me to a stop. Students continued to filter around us.
“Why don’t we hang out sometime?”
“Why?” I asked, bewildered. He was like Brax. He could have any girl, any girl at all, and he wanted to waste his time with me. It baffled me.
“No reason other than I enjoyed our time together the other day. Oh, and I wanted the chance to apologize for any trouble it may have caused you.” His green eyes raked over me quickly, making my heartrate kick up a notch. He was a lot like Brax. Intense. Breathtaking. And a little bit dangerous if left to his own devices.
“My boyfriend doesn’t want me talking to you, let alone hanging out with you,” I replied, giving him an honest answer.
“I didn’t ask what your boyfriend wanted,” Corbin answered, his voice low and husky. “Perhaps I wasn’t clear. I want to hang out with you. You and me. Alone. Together. What do you say?”
“Um, thank you, but no.” I gave him an apologetic smile.
“Why?” he pressed.
“I just told you why—”
“No, you told me your boy doesn’t want you to. I want to know what you want. Do you want to have some fun? Meet someone new? Laugh? Have someone to talk to? If it helps, I promise to keep my hands to myself.” He waggled his eyebrows at me, a playful smile on his lips.
“I-I would like to get out of the house, and Lance is always busy after school with football,” I answered thoughtfully, my eyes narrowed as I looked at him. Was he serious? Could we be friends? But what if Lance found out? He’d be so mad at me.
“Our secret,” Corbin said, as if reading my mind. “Cross my heart and hope to die.”
“That’s an awfully serious promise,” I commented with a soft laugh as I took in his face. His bottom lip jutted out, and he batted his long lashes at me.
“I’m an awfully serious guy.” He smirked. “So how about it, Maggie? You in?”
“You know what, to hell with it. I’m in.” I grinned back at him. I wasn’t even sure why I was agreeing to it. I knew better. I knew the repercussions if Alan found out. I knew what would happen if Lance found out. But I also knew that I needed to escape. And Corbin was there, offering me what I’d been praying for. I had to do it.
“Yes. To hell with it.”
His eyes darkened, sending a thrill of goosebumps through me.
Chapter 30
All around me everyone was talking about Homecoming. At lunch, I sat down at our usual table and watched as my friends filtered in and sat down. When Brax sat down, I couldn’t stop myself from looking at him. He looked tired. Bored… Sick?
“So, Lance, are you and Maggie going to the Homecoming dance together?” Zach’s question pulled me away from my worries about Brax.
“That’s the plan,” he answered, smiling over at me. I returned his smile with my own.
“How about you, Brax, who’re you gonna take?” Zach zeroed in on Brax. Brax looked up at him like he was surprised he was being asked. I held my breath as I waited for his answer.
“Actually, I was thinking about skipping it,” Brax answered tiredly.
“What?” The words fell from my lips before I could think. “You have to go!”
Lance cast me a strange look as Zach chuckled and looked to Brax for an answer. Everything around me went hazy as Brax’s eyes locked on mine. My heart thundered in my ears as he held my gaze.
“And why is that, Mags?” Brax’s soft, deep voice asked.
“Because… um… you’re on the team, and you have to be there,” I stumbled over my response feeling like the world’s biggest idiot. It was none of my business why he wasn’t or didn’t want to go.
“Yeah, I don’t think so. I don’t dance, and I doubt anyone would notice if I skipped it.” Brax snorted, rolling his eyes.
“What’s wrong Brax, can’t get a date?” Andrew chortled loudly.
The arrival of Jess and Chelsea got Brax off the hook. “What’d we miss?” Chelsea asked.
I zoned out, worried about Brax. Why would he think that no one would miss him? That was crazy. He’d become good friends with Zach and Andrew. I knew for a fact that Jess would miss him. He was all she talked about.
“Well, Brax, Lance, and Andrew were nominated for king. And me, Heidi, and Maggie were nominated for queen,” Jess’s syrupy sweet voice pulled me from my thoughts.
What?! Who the hell would nominate me?
Brax must have had the same thought when he heard his name because the look of disbelief on his face was comical. It probably mirrored my own. Our eyes locked on one another’s again, making me feel weak and helpless. It felt like we stared at one another for an eternity before Jess’s shrill, excited voice pulled us back to reality.
“Brax, if you don’t have a date, I’d love to go with you. And it would be perfect if we won. The students like to vote for couples. You know, love and romance and all that jazz.”
I waited for him to answer, my breath held.
Say no! Don’t go with her!
It was selfish to think that. If it would make him happy, then I wanted it. I just knew Jess. She wasn’t doing it for any other reason than to simply have him. She’d steer him around like a prized show dog all while simpering about how in love she was. She did it with other guys. Then she’d put out, complain when the guy lost interest, and then it’d be back to angry quips at me over my virginity and the fact that I didn’t go around lifting my skirt for all the guys.
“Sure, whatever,” Brax grunted, not looking the least bit interested in having her as a date. I felt bad for him.
I tuned out the rest of what Jess was gushing to Brax about. Instead, I covertly watched him out of the corner of my eye as I listened to everyone else chitchat about the dance. He looked lost in thought, a tiny smile on his lips, his blue eyes dazed. He was having the most amazing daydream. I just knew. Sadly, I wished I could join him. He looked so relaxed as he sat there in his own little world.
The bell rang then, and Brax wasted no time in leaving the area. I wanted to talk to him.
“Where you going?” Lance asked as I hurriedly got to my feet.
“I need to go do something. I’ll see you later.” I quickly went up on my tiptoes and planted a kiss on his cheek before rushing off to find Brax. I saw his dark mess of hair down the hallway, so I picked up my pace, knowing exactly what I was going to say to him. I wanted him to feel better. To feel wanted. Something told me feeling that way wasn’t something he’d ever experienced much. And that wasn’t fair.
Being braver than I ever thought I could be, I plunged forward and wound my arm through his, just like Jess did when she wanted a guy’s attention. He looked over at me in surprise.
“I would.” I smiled bashfully at him.
“You would what?” he asked, clearly confused by what was transpiring.
“I’d notice if you skipped the dance,” I answered, my eyes locked on his.
Brax slowed to a stop with me still clinging to his arm.
“Really? Why?” he asked softly, leaning into me. My breath hitched in my chest. His sweet, ashy scent engulfed me, making me feel lightheaded and euphoric.
“Because things just don’t feel right with you not around. It’s weird. Incomplete. I don’t know. I can’t explain it,” I rushed on, feeling self-conscious and shy. “Besides no one has as much fun without you there.”
“So, which one is it, you or everyone else,” he teased me softly, pulling us out of the center of the hallway.
“Both,” I admitted in a whisper. “But really… I miss you when you aren’t around.”
Brax seemed shocked into silence at my admittance. If I was being honest, I was shocked at it too. It sort of just tumbled out of my mouth. But it was true. I did miss him. I always missed him. And I didn’t understand it. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to understand it. Knowing exactly why made me scared.
I bit my bottom lip before turning fully to him. I felt so close to him. Felt things for him I’d been pushing away. Things I didn’t want to admit out loud because I knew I was messed up in my head and couldn’t trust my own thoughts. Or feelings. And if I ever gave in, God save me, because I knew I wouldn’t be able to save myself once I let Brax Shepherd into my heart.
Brax seemed at a loss for words. He licked his lips, his eyes fixed on me, wavering, filled with . . . wonder? “I guess it’s a good thing I’m going then,” he said, seeming to gather his thoughts.
“It is. I’m really glad.”
“Me too.” He gave me the sweetest smile. A smile that lit the smallest of flames inside my broken heart. A flame I’d never be able to extinguish. Because Brax Shepherd was fire. And he’d somehow wedged himself deep into my heart.
And that didn’t feel like such a bad thing.
Chapter 31
“Get up,” Alan’s deep voice called out to me in my darkened bedroom. I stared through bleary eyes at my alarm clock. It was just after midnight. Knowing better than to ask why, I sat up with my hair a mess and waited for further instruction.
“Get your ass downstairs and scrub the sink,” Alan growled, reaching out and pulling my hair. I let out a gasp as he tugged me roughly to my feet. He pushed me forward, and I stumbled through the gloom and down the stairs.
If I thought he was going to go back to his room, I was sorely mistaken. He followed me all the way into the kitchen. Without saying a word, I tiredly rummaged through the cabinets to find scouring brushes and soap. Quickly, I began cleaning the sink I’d already scrubbed after dinner.
“Do you know why you’re down here doing this?” Alan asked in a deep, menacing voice. The answer I really wanted to give him seemed like a bad idea, so instead, I answered with the answer I knew he’d probably want to hear. “Because I didn’t do a good job earlier. And cleanliness is next to godliness,” I said softly as I scrubbed the sink, my eyelids heavy.
“And because I don’t want you to grow up to be a worthless whore like your mother,” he added with a nasty sneer. I ground my teeth at his words. “It could also be because you’ve started to be a lying little bitch like she is. You lied about cheerleading. You lied about where you’ve been going.”
“I had to lie,” I turned and glared at him, losing myself to my fury for a moment. “You won’t let me live my life!”
&nb
sp; I immediately regretted it. He stomped toward me and shoved me hard, causing me to lose my balance and fall to the floor. His hand shot out and gripped my face tightly, forcing me to look up at him.
“You want to go out? You want to have a boyfriend? You want to do whatever you feel like doing?” he snarled down at me.
“I want to be normal!” I choked out, my face aching from his tight grasp.
“What are you willing to do for it?” he asked dangerously, releasing my face. I stared up at him fearfully.
“What would I have to do?” I asked, my body trembling.
“Whatever I tell you to do,” he answered, a wicked smirk on his lips. “Is your freedom worth it?”
“Yes,” I breathed out. And it was. I’d do anything to get away from him. Even make a deal with the Devil.
“Get the sink scrubbed. When you’re done, I want the toilet cleaned and the shower. The floors need waxing in here and in the bathroom. That should earn you a night of freedom, don’t you think?”
“I-I just have to clean?” I asked, my voice shaking, eyes narrowed in suspicion. It seemed too easy. Too good to be true.
“For now,” he said, backing away from me. “Maybe it’ll show your mother what a real woman can do when she wants something. Besides…” He reached down and offered me his hand. I tentatively took it, knowing if I didn’t there’d be hell to pay. He helped me to my feet before he brought his hand forward and caressed my face. “I think it’s best if we aren’t around one another so much. I’m finding it hard not to want to beat you until you do every dirty, little thing that’s in my head.”
I swallowed hard and let out a tiny whimper as he came forward and brushed his lips over my cheek before whispering in my ear, “Better work fast. You’ll be too tired tomorrow to go hang out with your boyfriend if you don’t get this finished and get back to bed. And that could be. . . tragic.”