What's Left of Us (The Us Series Book 1)

by Michele Tucker

  The service was good, and I walked out of the church feeling lighter, freer than I had felt in a long time.

  As we were leaving, Beck took my hand, and asked me to come home with him for lunch. I had a feeling he did not want our time to end any more than I did; at least I hoped that was what he was feeling.

  After we finished eating, I texted Sam to see what time he’d be back in town but he texted back that he decided to stay a week longer. Apparently, his mom had been sick for a few days, and he was worried about leaving her alone while his dad was out of town on a business trip.

  “Looks like you’re stuck with me a little longer. He’s not coming back today,” I told Beck as I walked back into the living room.

  “Shoot. I was really looking forward to getting rid of you,” he said with a smug look on his face as he swung his arm around me.

  I giggled and punched him in his side, and he grabbed my shoulder and turned me so I was facing him. He brought his other arm around and trapped me between them.

  “You wanna fight huh?” He asked me. He was smiling once of those half smile half smirk grins, and leaning towards me looking like he could attack me at any moment.

  “I don’t think you would be able to handle all my toughness,” I answered back as serious as I could while fighting back more giggles.

  Beck’s eyes narrowed and he leaned in even closer to me. All giggles stopped in my throat, at that moment. Our lips were a few inches away from each other, and I found myself staring, wishing he would just bring them a little closer. He leaned down closer and turned his head slightly where his lips were touching my ear.

  “I would love to find out if that’s really the case or not,” he whispered by my ear as he started tickling me on my side.

  “I’m sure you would.” I told him as I pushed him off me.

  I jumped off the couch, but he grabbed me before I could run off to safety.

  “You forget that I’m stronger than you, and I know all your tickle spots too.”

  He moved his hand to the side of my stomach and started running his fingers over it. “Like there, and here,” he said as he moved his other hand down to my thigh and squeezed it.

  I was laughing so hard, and trying to push him off of me. “Beck, okay you win!”

  He got off me, and I stood up and ran to the bathroom.

  “This time,” I yelled as I locked the door.

  I heard footsteps coming to the door, and saw the doorknob turn slightly.

  “Cal, you have to come out eventually. And when you do I’ll be waiting,” Beck said.

  Knowing him, he’ll wait all day out there for me. I could feel his smirk from the other side of the door. Dang him, I really had not thought my escape plan out very well.

  “Fine, I’ll wash all the dishes if we can call it a truce,” I told him.

  “Nope, no truce… you surrender. And you doing the dishes was part of the peace treaty.”

  “Fine, General Westin,” I answered as I unlocked the door and pushed passed him while he laughed at my fake pout.

  Once in the kitchen I started cleaning up our dishes while, he disappeared to the back of the apartment. After about twenty minutes, all the dishes were being washed in the dishwasher and the counters were sparkling.

  Beck had changed out of his church clothes, and into a pair of cargo shorts and a baseball t-shirt. He was sitting on the couch reading a book, when he noticed me walking into the room; he closed it and set it on the coffee table.

  “This is nice, I have really missed you,” I told him as I realized I had just brought up what we had been trying to avoid.

  “You know we are going to eventually have to talk about it, right?” He said looking at me with what seemed to be pain and concern in his eyes.

  “I know.”

  I was afraid that talking about everything and ruining what just seemed to fall back into place.

  “Not yet though, okay?” My voice was barely above a whisper.

  I was so distracted that I had missed him moving closer to me. Before I had a change to think his lips were on mine. His kiss was soft and slow. Each touch of his lips was full of care and the love that had been unsaid for such a long time. I moved my hand into his hair, as he gently pulled me closer placing his hand behind my head moving his fingers through my hair at the base of my neck. With a small smile pulling at his lips, he pulled away and leaned his forehead to mine.

  “Would you want to maybe go on a date with me?” He asked me nervously.

  I leapt at him and kissed him right on his lips again.

  “I take that as a yes,” he teased, giving me a smirk.

  “Of course that’s a yes,” I said. A feeling of Déjà Vu hit me, but the moment was too perfect to ruin it with the past for now.

  My cheeks were starting to hurt from smiling so much.

  “How about tonight, wanna go grab some dinner?” He asked me. I could tell he was nervous, but I had no idea why he would be, I had already said yes.

  “That sounds great, but I need to get ready. And you need to come by my place and pick me up like a real date,” I informed him with a wink.

  “Pick you up at seven?”

  “Seven is good, and don’t be late.” I joked, trying to keep the mood light since he still looked nervous.

  Chapter Ten

  Asher

  Junior Year

  AFTER THAT night that Cal found me on my front porch, she began hovering more. It was like she knew that something was up and kept asking me questions I didn't want to answer. I think it had been easier to avoid Beck, he blamed me for mine and Delilah’s break up and so he hadn’t gone out of his way to spend any time with me. I’ve cancelled plans with her and Beck several times, but they didn't seem to mind. They were finally dating, although I didn't think it was official yet. But it’s only a matter of time before they make it that way.

  Cal however was harder to shake. One morning, she came over and brought me some cookies that she baked. Normally, I’d be thrilled, but today she came first thing in the morning, all smiley and happy.

  Happy people annoyed me.

  “Hey, do you have a sweatshirt I can borrow for the game tonight?” Cal asked me as she set the plate of cookies down next to me.

  “Yeah, there’s one on my chair in my room,” I answered not even thinking. I grabbed one of the cookies on the plate.

  She headed back into my room and came back about a minute later, wearing the sweatshirt.

  “What do you think? Way too big, or just a tad big?” She asked me. She kept asking questions, but I didn’t hear them. All my focus was on the sweatshirt she had grabbed and what was in the pocket. What had I been thinking letting her just grab the one she wanted, now all I could do was hope that she didn’t check the pockets.

  I watched with horror as her hand reached into the pocket, and I could tell she was confused at what she was feeling in there. She pulled out the baggie with the round pills, and held them up. Inspecting them.

  “What are these?” She asked, even though I’m fairly certain she already knew. She had spent almost every day with me after my surgery helping me, she handed me those herself when I was in pain.

  “They’re nothing,” I tried to act non-chalant about them. Maybe if I acted like it was no big deal, she wouldn’t pry. Who was I kidding, this was Cal, and she’d always been able to see through me.

  “Ash—” she started to say, but I interrupted her.

  “It’s nothing Cal, drop it,” I walked over and grabbed the bag out of her hand and stuffed it in the pocket of my jeans.

  “No, if you're still taking these, then I’m not dropping it. You need to get help,” she replied. “All this time, I knew something was up with you. You stopped caring; you didn’t even bat an eye when Delilah broke up with you. It was obvious how you felt…” She kept talking, but the more she talked the angrier I got.

  “Cal, its fine. I just have a little pain still, and this helps. I have it under control,” I yell
ed.

  She didn’t seem convinced, but she nodded and went home.

  ***

  Calla

  Now

  IT’S BEEN a week since our first “official” date, and Beck and I have been spending nearly every free moment together. We were still avoiding the “past” topic, although it hung in the air over our heads. We were just so happy that neither of us seemed to want to have, the talk that could possibly change things.

  Sam texted me in the morning saying he was back and asked if I would be able to meet up with him later today. I wasn’t looking forward to talking with him, even though we had made a little improvement in our relationship since the beginning of the school year. I still didn’t know how he would handle what I was going to tell him.

  I mindlessly went to my classes and tried not to think about meeting with Sam.

  I walked to Zombie, and as I got to the door, I peered inside to see if Sam was there already. Looking through the glass, I glanced around and sighed in relief at not seeing him.

  No sooner was the sigh released; Sam walked up and gave me an awkward one-armed hug.

  “Ready to go in?” He asked.

  “Yeah,” I am not sure I was very convincing.

  We made our way inside, and found a table in the back of the room away from the college kids coming in and out of the coffee shop.

  He looked down at the table, then back up to me. “I wanted to see you in person, when we talked. I listened to your messages... all of them”

  I didn’t know what to say so I just sat there, staring down at the table.

  “I love my brother, and I know how important he has always been to you,” he paused and looked like he was trying to find the right words. “But you need to realize that things have changed.”

  “I know, I’m really trying,” I replied, still unable to look at Sam.

  The walls in the coffee shop started to feel as if they were closing in on me, and I knew that I needed to get out of there quickly before the panic attack set in.

  “Do you mind if we go sit outside?” I asked him.

  Sam must have seen the panic on my face, because he nodded and stood up.

  We walked over to the quad and sat down on a bench next to a big shade tree.

  We were silent for a few minutes before Sam spoke up.

  “Are you okay?” He asked. His voice was laced with worry.

  My eyes immediately filled with tears, something that has happened a lot since that morning.

  “Yes,” I answered.

  “Just because Asher’s not part of your life now, doesn’t mean you have to shut me out too. I always thought of you as my little annoying sister, and I don’t want to deal with you avoiding me anymore,” he said, then added, “and my parents they miss you.”

  Guilt panged in my chest, and I felt horrible for shutting the rest of the Cohen’s out of my life.

  “I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt anyone and I promise the next time I’m home I will go by and see them. I’d like to see your family, I miss them too,” I promised.

  “Good they’d love that,” he said. “Don’t get mad with me for what I’m about to say… but I really think you should talk to someone about everything that happened. Really talk, not pretend like your parents told me you did before.”

  I snapped my head up at him at the mention of my parent’s knowing that I wasn’t really being honest with the psychiatrists they sent me to.

  Sam watched me for a few moments, “I’m late for class, but maybe we can get together later this week or something.”

  He stood up and leaned down to give me a hug.

  I sat there on the bench for a little longer after he left, feeling guilty for keeping away from people that loved me.

  I stood up, and decided to go see Beck. So, I walked over to his apartment, and ran up the stairs. I knocked and my heart immediately sank when Ellison answered the door.

  “Umm... Hi is Beck here?” I asked her.

  She looked at me and I could tell she was just as uncomfortable as I was.

  “He ran to pick up an assignment he missed. He should be back in just a minute if you want to wait,” she answered. “Come on in.”

  “That’s okay; I can come back later. I don’t want to interrupt anything.”

  “You’re not, I promise.” She opened the door so that it was wide enough for me to walk in.

  I sat down on the couch, and Ellison sat across from me in the recliner.

  “So...” I started to say but my nerves were going haywire that I didn’t know what to say to her.

  “Look, I know about you and what happened. Beck’s finally getting better, well at least he was until he came here for school. I thought he was finally going to be able to move on from what happened... from you.”

  “What was he like this last year?” I asked her. I knew that Beck wouldn’t tell me, he’d be afraid that it would hurt me. Ellison was the only person who could and would give me those answers.

  “Closed-off, the first few months he stayed at home. Then finally he started coming out, and opening up to people. He was still so angry with life, until he started going to church. That’s when the big changes came, he got saved. He became this totally different person. Even with all the progress, he still had this lost look about him though. Like there was a part of him missing.”

  “I don’t know what to say” I replied. I sounded lame, but he hadn't opened up to me about this part of his life yet and I felt sick knowing he was hurting as much as I had.

  “I could never figure out what was missing. Until I saw you that night, even with things strained between the two of you. I saw what he had been missing… you. It’s like you’re his other half.”

  “I know. Together we’re whole,” I told her. My feelings for him hit me hard, and I knew that there wasn’t anything or anyone that I would let stop me from telling him how I felt.

  “Please just don’t him hurt again,” she said quietly.

  “I’m not going anywhere, I love him, and it will always be him, it always was. But if I need to stay away from him so that he’ll be happy then that’s what I’ll do.”

  “Cal-” I heard Beck say as he walked into the apartment.

  Ellison got up, and grabbed her keys, “I’m going to go get some coffee, I’ll be back later.”

  Beck sat down next to me on the couch, and reached over and grabbed my hand lacing our fingers together.

  “I meant it, you know,” I told him.

  “What did you mean?” He asked me.

  “That I love you,” I told him. He let go of my hand, and at first, I was nervous that he was going to get up, but instead he put his arm around me, and placed a light kiss on my lips

  “I love you too,” he replied.

  My eyes filled with tears and my heart burst with a happiness I hadn’t felt in such a long time.

  “Cal, what would ever make you think leaving me would be the best thing for me? I cannot live without you again. You know the saying God knows how much you can handle and He will never give you too much? Well losing you again would be more than I could ever handle. Please, don’t ever leave me.”

  What could I say? I nodded my head as tears flowed down my face. It had been a trying day and now to know the man I love with all my heart felt the same, I could feel the exhaustion taking over. I curled up in his arms and he kissed the top of my head while I drifted off to sleep.

  I woke up, startled that I had actually fell asleep after the man I love professed his love for me. Looking around I noticed he was no longer in the room and that my cell phone had a missed call and text. Getting up to find Beck, I checked my phone to see they were from Parker who wanted to come by and see me. Before I answered Parker, I wanted to find Beck first, so I pushed my phone into my pocket and continued looking for Beck.

  I found him in the kitchen stirring something on the stove. Nothing like seeing the man you love, cooking for you and thanking God you weren’t asked to show off your non-cooking
skills.

  When he heard me enter the kitchen, he turned and moved towards me.

  “You should've woken me up. I didn't mean to fall asleep on you”

  “Nah, you looked exhausted and besides you look so peaceful when you sleep. It is kinda cute. Not to mention your cute little snore.”

  I playfully hit him and replied, “I do not snore.”

  He quickly grabbed my hand and pulled me to him. Gently he lowered his head and kissed me. This time however, he kissed me like he could not get enough. His kiss was gentle, but also intoxicating.

  There was a throat clearing sound and I turned red realizing that Ellison had witnessed our tender moment.

  Blushing, I turned to her and said, “Sorry about that.”

  “No problem, don’t mind me. It is actually nice to see him happy,” she replied with a genuine smile. I really hoped she and I could be friends. It was clear she and Beck meant a lot to each other.

  “Hey, would you mind if Parker stopped by? He’ll be driving through and wanted to stop,” I asked Beck.

  Beck’s jaw clenched a tad, but still agreed that it was fine.

  I texted Parker back letting him know it was fine, and gave him the address to Beck’s apartment.

  About thirty minutes later, he knocked on the door and Ellison offered to answer it.

  I could tell that Parker being here was not really, what Beck wanted. He had nothing to worry about. I reminded him that I was just friends with Parker.

  “Beck, relax, I love you,” I told him. Grabbing his hand, we walked into the living room where Parker and Ellison were standing.

  I let go of Beck’s hand, walked over, and hugged Parker.

  “Hey, I’m glad you’re here,” I told him.

  “Me too, you look nice,” he replied.

  Beck walked over and stuck his hand out to Parker. He was giving him a peace offering, and the fact that he was the first one to reach out made me love him even more.