Thanksgiving morning, A.J. was on his motorcycle, headed east. In the weeks he’d been away at his cabin in Pennsylvania, the nightmares had gotten progressively worse. Instead of flashbacks from the war, he saw Maddie in jeopardy. Each dream was a bit different, but they all ended the same: Maddie died because he couldn’t get to her in time. He hadn’t slept worth shit since he’d been away from her. If he couldn’t talk her into saving his sorry ass, he felt certain he’d go insane.
He checked his watch. He’d been on the road about an hour. Another hour and a half and he’d be in Manhattan. He never thought he’d go back there—had sworn that he wouldn’t. He’d imagined it, and every time it had produced a panic attack. Now, the only thing that made him feel panicked was not having Maddie in his life.
When he’d gotten back into cell range, he’d considered texting her, but that seemed too impersonal. A call to let her know he was coming was warranted, but he reasoned it away, sure she wouldn’t pick up. Hell, she’d probably slam the door in his face. Who could blame her? Even if she couldn’t forgive him at first, he wouldn’t give up. They belonged together, and he would do whatever it took to convince her of that.
For the distraction, he powered on the radio that piped into the speakers built into his helmet via Bluetooth. Traffic would slow the closer he got to the city, but he hoped to be there by early afternoon. He skipped from station to station, looking for music, but they seemed to be talking on every station. What the hell?
He paused, listening. The words he heard struck terror in him: There’d been an attack on the Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade. Terrorism was suspected.
He pulled over to the side of the highway. His first call was to Maddie. No answer. Next, he called Alayna. She answered on the first ring and said, “She’s there. I can’t reach her. Tell me you’re on your way.”
“I’m on my way.”
“How far out?”
He checked his watch. “An hour.”
“They might close the roads.”
“I’m on my bike. I’ll maneuver through traffic.” He’d do whatever he had to. “Call me if you hear from her.”
“Okay. A.J.?”
“Yeah?”
“You’re an ass.”
“I know.”
“You don’t deserve her.”
“I know.”
She disconnected the call, and A.J.’s next call was to his associate in New York. Things were chaotic. Information was sketchy, but Nathan promised he’d keep A.J. posted. Next, he called everyone he knew trying to find out anything before getting back on the road. An hour later, he was weaving through the stopped traffic, and he still didn’t know where Maddie was or if she was all right. From what he’d been able to learn so far, it had been a Boston Marathon-style attack, with garbage can bombs going off and scattering shrapnel over a wide area. Many people had been injured. And there was nothing he could do.
He’d stopped believing in prayer years ago. How could a loving God spare one person and take the person standing right next to them? How could people on one end of the street in front of Macy’s be fine while others were fighting for their lives? Why are some blessed while others suffer? It didn’t make sense, but if God was listening and it did matter, he prayed for Maddie and her family to be counted among the uninjured.
Maddie waited with her children. They hadn’t made it to the ER yet. Taylor was waiting to be treated on site, not far from where they’d been when they’d heard the explosion. They’d somehow all gotten themselves under the bleachers where they’d been sitting. In the process, Maddie had lost her phone, and Dixon had crushed his. Taylor had hers, but the network was down. Maddie knew her parents and Alayna must be going crazy, wondering if they were all right.
The chaos around them was hard to take in. The injured were lying everywhere. Cuts and broken bones seemed to be the main problem with those left. The more seriously injured had been airlifted or taken out in ambulances on cleared roads.
“I just want to go home,” Taylor said again. “You and Dixon can help me get there.”
“We can’t be sure your ankle isn’t broken,” Maddie said.
“It’s not broken,” Taylor insisted. “Just sprained.”
Maddie hugged her daughter. “I’m so sorry.”
“There’s so much blood,” Taylor said, looking around.
Dixon had been quiet since the attack. Probably shock, like she’d experienced a few weeks ago. She rubbed his arm, wishing she could get a blanket for him. Thank God it was warm for late November.
“We’ve been here for hours. There are so many people hurt, we could still be here tomorrow,” Taylor said.
“Maddie!”
Maddie closed her eyes, then shook her head. She was starting to hallucinate. She could have sworn she’d heard—
“Maddie!” she turned and saw A.J. running toward them.
He dropped down beside her, “Thank God for your red hair. I spotted you from a block away. Are you all right?” He looked her over, then ran his hands down her arms, her legs.
“I’m fine. Taylor hurt her ankle. We’re waiting for help.”
He looked at her daughter who was lying down with her leg elevated.
“Hi, I’m A.J.” he said. “Mind if I take a look? I’m an EMT/first responder with the Red Cross.”
This shocked Maddie. He could go into disasters and help treat people, but he couldn’t come to New York? He was here now, after a disaster, and he seemed fine, just a little anxious.
He unwrapped the warming blanket from around Taylor’s foot, then slowly took off her sock.
“Ow.”
“Sorry,” he said, then looked over at Dixon. “How are you doing?”
Dixon just stared.
“I think he’s in shock,” Maddie said.
A.J. shrugged off his jacket and handed it to Maddie. “Wrap this around him. See if you can get him to lie down.”
His probing of Taylor’s ankle elicited another “Ow.”
“Can you move your toes?”
Taylor wiggled her Christmas-colored pedicure.
“Any pain?”
“No.”
“Can you move your foot up and down?”
Taylor tried. “That doesn’t hurt.”
“Side to side?”
“Ow. No. That hurts a lot.”
“Could be anything from a sprain to ligament damage. There’s moderate swelling, but it should probably be x-rayed.”
“No,” Taylor complained.
“Your apartment is on the Upper East side?”
“Right,” Maddie said.
“How’d you get here?”
“My driver.”
“Where is he now?”
“I don’t know. Cell service is out.”
“Give me a sec.”
A.J. walked a few feet away to speak with the man he’d arrived with.
“Is that him? The guy you told me about?” Taylor asked.
Maddie nodded, unable to keep her eyes off A.J.
“Mom, he’s seriously hot.”
“I know,” Maddie said.
“But you broke up, right?”
“He left, so yeah,” Maddie said, and she’d do well to remind herself of that instead of following her instincts and rushing headlong into his arms. She hadn’t heard from him in weeks. But he was here, in New York, in the middle of what looked like a war zone. He was here.
A.J. returned with the man who’d been running alongside him when he’d arrived on the scene. “This is Nathan Crowder. He’s a federal agent and an old friend. He’s going to help us out.” A.J. went down on one knee next to Taylor and said, “Is it okay if I carry you to Nathan’s car?”
Taylor nodded, then looked at Maddie and smiled, wiggling her eyebrows.
Maddie gave her daughter a mock stern look.
“Did I miss something?” A.J. asked.
“You’ve missed quite a lot,” Maddie said.
“I’m sorry for that,” A.J. said.
Nathan was with Dixon. “How you doing, buddy?” A.J. said. “Do you think you can stand?”
Dixon sat up then stood. He rotated his neck. “Does your neck hurt?” Nathan asked.
“No,” Dixon said. “I just feel out of it.”
“That’s normal. We’re going to get you taken care of,” Nathan said. “If you start feeling dizzy, let me know, okay?”
Dixon nodded.
“Are you his mom?” Nathan asked Maddie.
“Yes.”
“Sorry,” he said. “You look way too young to have children this old.”
“Hey,” Taylor complained at the reference to her age.
If looks could kill, A.J. would have leveled the guy.
Oblivious, Nathan said to Maddie, “If you could get on his other side?”
Maddie maneuvered herself under Dixon’s arm while A.J. picked up Taylor and led the way. Nathan had to flash his badge a few times, but finally, they arrived at a dark SUV.
“How are we going to get out of here?” Maddie asked.
A.J. put Taylor in the backseat while Nathan got Dixon situated and buckled in. “He can drive on the secure road to the hospital.”
Relief flooded Maddie. “Thank you,” Maddie said to Nathan.
“Anything for A.J.,” Nathan said, and got behind the wheel. That left Maddie and A.J. outside the vehicle, alone.
“Stay there,” he said, and closed the door. In the next moment, he was around the car, and she was in his arms, her feet off the ground. Her body reacted predictably, melting, so happy to feel him again. Her mind was another matter.
“Thank God you’re all right,” he said, still holding her tight.
She let herself hold him for another second or two—maybe three, then said. “Put me down.” Her voice sounded horribly weak, but he did as she asked.
“I have so much I need to say to you,” he said.
She had a few things to say to him as well. “After we get them to the hospital and, hopefully, home.”
A.J. nodded and helped her into the SUV to sit between her children, then got in the front seat next to Nathan. “Drive,” he said, anxious for Maddie’s children and anxious to convince her to forgive him one more time.
17
Much later, both of Maddie’s children were in bed. Taylor had a severe sprain and possible ligament damage, and Dixon had been treated for shock and given something to help him sleep.
A.J. was now alone with Maddie in her living room. One wall of her apartment consisted of floor-to-ceiling windows. The Manhattan skyline looked stunning, but he couldn’t take his eyes off Maddie. She went straight to a selection of liquors on a nearby table and poured herself something. “Would you like a drink?”
“No.”
She downed the amber liquid in one long swallow and refilled the glass.
“Hell of a day,” he commented.
“What are you doing here, A.J.?”
“Should we sit?”
“No.”
All right. Her turf, her rules. “You probably won’t believe this, but I was on my way to the city when I heard what had happened.”
She calmly sipped her drink. “Should I believe you?”
“It’s the truth.”
“What prompted this?”
So many things. He hadn’t been able to think about anything but her since they’d been apart. He needed her. He loved her. But before he could tell her any of that, he’d have to ask for her forgiveness.
“I checked out. Again.”
She raised her brows as if to say, “Tell me something I don’t know.”
“I panicked,” he continued.
He moved her way, but she moved as well, putting a couch between them. “You said you’d stay with me,” she reminded him.
“I said I’d try.”
“But you left me anyway, even though you knew I needed you after what I went through.”
“I wanted to stay, but I knew, after what happened, the nightmares would come. I couldn’t risk putting you in more danger, and this time from me.”
“And did they come?”
“Yes.” He approached her again, but this time he came straight at her, stopping in front of the couch. She seemed surprised and didn’t move. “But the nightmares were different this time. Instead of flashbacks from the war, you were in danger, and I couldn’t get to you.”
“So now you’re clairvoyant?”
“The truth?”
She shrugged and took another sip of her drink.
He stepped up onto the couch and over it to stand in front of her. He grasped her wrist before she could get away, and said, “I love you.”
She stood her ground. “I can’t depend on you. You’ve proven that.”
“I don’t have the right to ask, but if you’ll give me the chance, I’ll never leave you again. I swear it.”
She didn’t respond, so he took the drink out of her hand, finished it and set it on a table. When she still hadn’t moved, he pulled her in. She resisted. He hesitated.
“You should have stayed,” she said.
“I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but I’m here now, in New York, because of you—for you. I’m fighting for us.”
She still held back. “You’re here now, but what about tomorrow.”
“I’ll be wherever you are.”
“Even if I want to stay in New York full-time?”
“Even then,” he said without hesitation.
“You’d stay in New York.”
“Yes.” She stared at him, clearly surprised. He caressed her wrist and felt her heart beating beneath his thumb, sure and strong. “You don’t trust me.”
“How can I?”
“You’ll have to take a chance. Will you?”
“I shouldn’t.”
“I know,” he said honestly. “But I need you. Without you, I’m lost. You’ve healed me, Maddie. I’m stronger when we’re together. In Hidden Harbor, I watched you face your fears and even come to terms with your past. I’d like to think you did that for me so you could stay in Hidden Harbor with me, but I know you did it for yourself and your children. It’s the bravest thing I’ve ever seen.”
“A.J. . . .”
“I love you, Maddie.”
She grabbed his shirt, wadding the front of it in her hands. “I hate you for leaving me, for not letting me know where you were or if you were coming back. Do you know what you’ve put me through?”
“I made a bad situation worse.”
“I thought I could come home and just resume my life, but it didn’t work out that way.”
“Counseling?”
“No, but I had decided I would after the children returned to school.”
“I’m sorry I left you to deal with this alone.”
“You’re an ass,” she said, but stayed in his arms. She flattened her hands on his chest and hope bloomed inside him.
“That is the consensus.” He pressed his lips to her forehead. “I love you,” he repeated. “I’m committed to you.”
“You say that now, but what happens when the nightmares come again.”
“We’ll work through it together. I love you,” he repeated. “I want to spend the rest of my life showing you how much.”
She looked up at him, surprise in her beautiful eyes. “What are you saying?”
“Marry me.”
She shook her head. “I don’t need marriage, A.J. I’m not that woman.”
“I know, but I’m that guy.”
She smiled. “An old-fashioned, bad boy.”
He nodded. “We both ran from our demons, but we can beat them, together.”
She took a deep, ragged breath and caressed his chest. “Let’s take it slow. See how you do here.”
“Fair warning; I’ll keep asking until you say ‘yes’.”
“What if I don’t want to get married?”
He felt the disappointment at her words. “We won’t until you’re ready, but I’m not going anywhere,” he warned. “An
d I won’t share you.”
She put her hands in his back pockets then moved around to the front of his jeans. “Is there a ring?”
Her hands on him made him insta-hard. “No jeweler in the mountains.”
“Is that where you were?”
“I have a cabin I go to when things in my head get too crazy.” He nuzzled her neck, dying to do more. “Tomorrow, I’ll get you a ring.”
“I don’t need a ring.”
He kissed her. Once, twice, and then again, longer and deeper. “I love you,” he said.
“I love you, too.”
He lifted her into his arms. “Bedroom?”
“End of the hall.”
They made love long into the night and fell asleep in each other’s arms. When the sun rose over Manhattan, A.J. woke with Maddie in his arms. He knew his demons would still chase him, but as long as he had her, they’d face them and whatever life threw at them, together.
Acknowledgments
I’d like to thank my readers for somewhat patiently waiting for this book to come out. This was a hard one to write!Another big shout out goes to my team: Becky Guyton, editor extraordinaire, and my eagle eye proofers, Eli Harlan. And I’d also like to thank Deb’s Sparks, my fabulous support group that cheers me on. I’m so excited you’re taking this journey with me. I appreciate you all so much! And last, but never least, my best friend and marketing consultant, Janene Cates Putman. The fantastic Scandalous Moves covers are the work of Fiona Jayde Media. I couldn’t do this without you all! Thank you for your time and valuable contributions to the Scandalous Moves series.
Read an Excerpt from Exposed
Available September 7, 2017
This is Book 4 of the Scandalous Moves Series and a crossover title that is part of Elle James’ Brotherhood Protectors Kindle Worlds
“You’re trespassing.”
A feminine squeal came from Joe Stanton’s outdoor shower. He stood several feet away to give the intruder some degree of privacy.
Ridden (Scandalous Moves Book 3) Page 13