Black and Ugly as Ever (The Cartel Publications Presents)

by Styles, T.

  I started putting everything together. Ida neva thought she would go as far. I mean…she was on some whole notha shit to take my wife’s life. I knew you, Daffany and that faggy ain’t have shit to do with it, but I didn’t want the heat brought to me from ya’ll snitchin’. So I sent Cannon to be sure. And you know the rest,” he ate some more of his meal. “But when I met you, I didn’t even know who you were. Back in the day when I use to see you, you were fightin’ and playin’ in the streets. I was surprised to see you come up and I couldn’t believe how good you looked. So I had to check you, to see what you were like.”

  “It didn’t bother you that I got with Cannon?”

  “Naw. It didn’t.”

  I didn’t believe him.

  “Trust me, I ain’t trip off of none of that shit,” he said as if he’d been reading my mind. “If I plan on wifin’ you that means I trust you. And I trust you now.”

  I smiled.

  “But I do want you to be real wit me,” he said seriously. “Are you fuckin’ that kid Jay?”

  “What you talkin’ ‘bout?” I asked as I almost choked on my steak.

  “Parade, don’t play me. Remember I said I trust you, don’t fuck that up.” He said pointing the tip of his fork at me.

  “No I’m not,” I replied as my hand unconsciously shook against my plate. I wondered if someone saw us in front of the IHOP acting like freaks.

  “You sure?” he said eyeing my hand.

  I moved it. “Yes…I’m positive.”

  “Cause I’m hearin’ things I don’t like to hear around the way,” he told me. “And you know I still run the Manor.”

  “I know. But have you been hearin’ things recently?”

  “No.”

  “Cuz I promise you its over between us. It was over a long time ago.”

  “Good, you still want to be with me?”

  I waited to answer the question. My soul didn’t feel completely safe with Smokes anymore yet I became accustomed to the lifestyle I was living.

  “Yes…I still want to be with you.”

  “Good, cause we have something else to talk about. I might need you real soon. Really, really soon and I need to know I can count on you.”

  Smokes had been saying that a lot and whenever I asked him what he needed me to do, he’d never answer.

  “Well what is it? You know I’d do anything for you.”

  “We’ll talk about it later,” he told me. “On some other shit, Sweets told me you let Mr. Chokes-on-dick interfere wit’ our business.”

  “Not really. It’s just that I think some of that shit she was pickin’ out, she was tryin’ to set me up.”

  He laughed and stroked his goatee. “Parade, you new money, baby. Don’t act like you know everything there is about living the life. You still got a lot of work to do before you start venturing off on your own. Now let Carmen help plan the wedding. And keep ya friends out of my business. There might come a time when you’ll have to cut them off altogether, anyway. They’re not in your league anymore.”

  “But they’re my friends.

  “You heard me right?”

  I nodded.

  “Aight? That’s my, girl.” He said softly. “The bleach is working too. Your complexion is clearing up.”

  “Thanks.” I nodded.

  “Now finish your meal,” he winked. “But don’t eat too much. We gotta watch that figure.”

  “Can you meet me at sixth district?” Miss Wayne yelled in my cell phone. I switched to my Bluetooth so I could have my hands free.

  “What for?” I asked in between washing the dishes. Smokes didn’t like them in the dishwasher so I cared for them by hand. I’ll be so happy when the maid comes back from vacation because this house is too big for me to clean on my own.

  “Miss Daffany is in jail.”

  “So?! She stays in and out of jail.”

  “But she’s pregnant too,” he told me. “Now can you meet me?”

  I dropped a plate, grabbed my purse and ran out the door.

  “Hey, pretty!” Miss Wayne said wearing a one piece white Lycra dress and white high heels. He let his hair grow out long enough to wear tracks. He kept his hair in what he called the Beyonce, which consisted of a goldish long flowing weave. “Can you believe this shit?”

  “No what she do?” I asked, as we sat down in the seats waiting on her to appear. Miss Wayne had already paid her bail.

  “They said some indecent exposure shit. I’m just happy to find her. I can’t believe it took all this?” he said reaching for my hand. I gave it to him and squeezed his lovingly.

  “How did you find out she’s pregnant?”

  “She told me. I guess she didn’t believe I’d come without telling me. But you know I been tryin’ to find this chile for months now. I’m worried about her, Miss Parade. They say she fuckin’ wit heroin now.”

  “Heroin?” I yelled looking into his eyes. “Are you serious?”

  “Yes! Between my mother and you guys, I don’t have any other family. I can’t see losing somebody else. Sky was enough, Miss Parade,” he said, squeezing my hand almost tighter than I could stand. “We have to keep what’s left of us together and you and Miss Daffany are gonna have to bury this beef.”

  “Yeah…maybe we can get pass this if she can accept my husband.” I sighed. “I doubt she’ll be able to though. She’s made that clear.”

  “Yeah well one step at a time.” He laughed. “The first thing is repairing our bond and our family.”

  Just then I stared at the door and could’ve sworn I saw a ghost. This dusty girl came rushing into the police station and she looked so much like Sky, it was eerie. Miss Wayne must’ve thought so too because he looked at her and than back at me.

  “Doesn’t she look like-,”

  “Sky?” I finished.

  “Hell yeah!”

  Just then Daffany came out. We stood up and stared at the unsightly mess before us. She looked so terrible I was about to cry. She was completely skinny with the exception of her protruding stomach. We went to greet her but she walked directly to the Sky look-a-like.

  “Miss Daffany,” Miss Wayne said tears in his eyes as he walked behind her. “What has happened to you?”

  We walked over to them.

  “What you talkin’ ‘bout?” she asked, tugging on her dirty t-shirt as if straightening it would make her look better. “I’m fine.” The girl remained by her side looking us up and down. “And what the fuck is she doin’ here?” Daffany asked pointing at me.

  “I came to see about you.” I told her, angry she tried to get out on me. I couldn’t even argue because I was consumed with pity. “What is going on with you, Daffany? Look at you? Are you even eating?”

  “Bitch, please! You don’t care about nobody but yourself! I don’t want to see you ever again and I mean it!” she yelled at me before focusing on Miss Wayne. “Miss Wayne, can you give me some money please? I have a job that starts tomorrow and I’ll pay you back everything. I just need some money for the bus.”

  “You do?” her friend asked looking confused. “When you get an interview?”

  “Yo, shut the fuck up!” she screamed. “You betta be glad I don’t jump in your shit for leaving me hanging. I know you saw the cops comin’,” she continued before addressing Miss Wayne again. “Do you got it or not?”

  “You know I do, Miss Daffany, but won’t you come with me. I want to help you. Let me take care of you.”

  “I don’t need any help.” She told him rubbing her arms. “I just need some money to go to work tomorrow. I’ll pay you back plus the money for bail.”

  “Daffany, won’t you just go with him? Nobody came out here to give you no money for you to get back on the streets!” I yelled. “Don’t be as stupid as you look!”

  “Why don’t you mind your business?!” the girl said to me.

  “Uh…honey…don’t get fucked up.” Miss Wayne told her. “Trust me. I’m saving your life and your narrow ass.”

&nbs
p; “Please, Miss Wayne.” Daffany said, interrupting his attention off the bitch. “I need you. Please help me. Pleeeeaaasse.”

  Miss Wayne looked at her, and then at me. I turned away. He and I both knew what she wanted the money for. So if he wanted to give it to her I wanted no part of it. He reached in his purse and handed her a wad of cash. Before he released it into her grip he said, “If you need me you can call me. I’m serious, baby. No matter what you’re going through, you have to know that I will ALWAYS be there for you.”

  “I know,” she said hugging him. “I’ll pay you back every penny you’ll see!”

  “It’s fine. Don’t worry about it.” He said rubbing his hand over her belly. “You know it’s not too late for the baby? The baby can be born healthy without the dis-.”

  “Don’t say that!” Daffany yelled, looking at Carmen. I knew then that she didn’t tell her she was infected because she stopped Miss Wayne before he could say disease. “Just let me live my life.” With that she was gone with the bitch out the door.

  Miss Wayne broke out in tears. I never seen him cry like that in all my years of knowing him. I was hurt because he was hurt. I love Miss Wayne like a brother, but stronger. This shit was not fair to him and he did not deserve it!

  “Miss Wayne…you got to pull yourself together.” I told him rubbing his back. “We can’t help her if she doesn’t want it.”

  “But I’m worried, Parade.” He must’ve been devastated because he didn’t say Miss before my name and that pissed me off even more. He always took care of me so I decided to look after him for a change even if he didn’t want me to. “Give me a sec.” I ran toward the door.

  “Where you goin?” he called out.

  “I’ll be back.”

  I ran out the door and caught up to them quick. It wasn’t hard considering they were on foot.

  “Daffany!” I yelled. They both turned around.

  “What do you want?” Daffany said pausing for me.

  When I got up on her, I smacked the living shit out of her.

  Her fiend, I mean friend stepped like she was going to make a move.

  “Try it, bitch and I’ll stomp you back to the first day you fucked your life up!” I promised pointing my finger in her face.

  She remained still but crossed her arms over her chest.

  “Now let me tell you something, Daffany. You can be mad at me all you want. As a matter of fact, I understand your hate towards me, but that man back there loves you. You walked all over his heart and left me to pick up the pieces and I hate you for it. If you want to smoke that shit up its fine by me. In fact,” I paused reaching in my purse dropping over four hundred dollars in cash on the ground. “Take mine too, but don’t call him no more! Let him get over this shit cause you and I both know you ain’t gonna change. And I promise, if I find out you’re using him, I’ll kill you! And I mean it!”

  She bent down picked up the money and wiped a tear from her face.

  “Damn, I guess you finally know who you are,” she said looking at the drug money my husband earned in her hands. “Like husband like wife. Don’t worry, I’ll stay out of his life, and yours too. Consider me as dead as Sky. That should make it easy for you.”

  “Come on. We can still catch Tyrone if we hurry!” Carmen said uncaring about how Daffany felt at the moment. “Let me hold the money.”

  “Bitch, please I got this!” she told her.

  She took one last look at me and walked hand and hand with Carmen until they were totally out of sight.

  And I wondered, what happened to my friend. But most of all, I wondered what happened to me.

  Smokes

  Smokes was driving in his white Hummer on the way to get it washed at Laurel Car Wash off of Baltimore avenue in Maryland. In his mind, no one knew how to clean his truck better than the Mexican employees who worked there. He was getting ready to open his third beer knowing full well he was a target for the cops by driving a white truck with illegally tinted windows. But opening the beer and pouring it to his lips while bumping loud ass music was a testament of his lack of respect for the law.

  His phone rang and he was upset because he was just getting into his favorite song off of Jeeze’s CD called “Hypnotize”. Whoever it was, he wanted them to be quick.

  “Speak on it.”

  “Smokes, its Silver. You got a sec?”

  This bitch nigga is gettin’ on my fuckin’ nerves. He

  thought.

  “What’s good?”

  “When we gonna take care of that thing?”

  “What thing?” Smokes asked as he pulled into the car

  wash’s parking lot. There was a long line so he knew it would be about thirty minutes before they even looked at his truck. He had plenty of time to discuss the matter with Silver. Instead he said, “Hurry up! I’m busy.”

  “Well dis nigga runnin’ around here like he’s untouchable! I’m tired of seein’ ‘em. Every time I look at this Debarge lookin’ faggot I feel like crackin’ his fuckin’ skull.” Silver was talking about Jay. Ever since Jay put a hit on his brother Markee while he was in jail which resulted in his murder, he had been heated. Silver didn’t care that his lil brother had raped and robbed Jay’s cousin. None of that mattered to him.

  “I feel you, but didn’t I say shit is too hot for me?” Silver let out a heavy sigh.

  “Yeah but he was my brother.”

  “I know who he was, but Markee got dealt with because

  he raped that nigga’s cousin. What’s done is done.” Silence

  “So it’s like that?” Silver barked.

  “It’s just like that,” Silver yelled back. “Plus I’ma need

  his ass later. You gonna have to just chill.”

  “But this shit is fucked…”

  Silence.

  “DID YOU FUCKIN’ HEAR ME?” Smokes yelled causing Silver’s heart to pump fear instead of blood.

  “Yeah.” He said trying to be cool even though he was about to piss his pants. There was no denying he was frightened when it came to Smokes.

  He could hear Silver breathin’ hard from frustration and decided to fuck with him a little. And although he didn’t like Jay because he knew he could get in Parade’s head and turn things around, he had to be easy. He him needed him alive for his own purposes.

  “What you poutin’ for?”

  “I ain’t poutin’.” Silver lied.

  “Well you sound like you poutin’ like a l’il bitch over

  there.” He said in an authoritative tone. “Now tell me you understand and agree with me.”

  “What?” Silver said with a little buck in his voice.

  “I said tell me you understand, and that you agree with everything I say because I know better than you.”

  Silver was silent and Smokes decided to put the fire under him.

  “Are you hearin’ me? Or do I have to make a visit for you to feel me instead?”

  Silver breathed heavily and submitted.

  “I understand…and…agree with everything you say because you know better than me.” He recited like a mad 10 year old little girl.

  “Now get out there and make my money.”

  With that he hit the end call button on his Apple Iphone and smiled.

  “Anotha nigga in check.”

  He was about to be next in line to get his car washed until the phone rang again. This time the caller’s number was unknown but he knew exactly who it was, Ace.

  “Speak on it.”

  “What’s up with the girl?” the caller asked with a heavy Dominican accent.

  “Everything’s going as planned.”

  “Everything’s going like whose plans? Yours or mine?”

  “Ours.”

  “Listen you black, nigger,” Ace said disrespecting his heritage. “I want you to do whatever you have to quickly! You fucked up the last time and we won’t have that problem again. That ‘lil bitch will make me a lot of money and I want her as planned. Do I make myself clear?”
/>
  “Yeah.”

  “And she better look like you says she does.”

  “She does.”

  “Good. Now get her here!”

  The caller hung up. Smokes felt punked and if Silver would’ve heard the call he would’ve called it poetic justice. Smokes was furious.

  He was so angry that the moment he opened the door to allow the Mexican driver to take his truck to be cleaned, he stole him in the face. The small man dropped to the ground gripping his mouth while people looked on in disgust. He needed to take his anger out on someone and didn’t stop to think about who would take the brunt of his hate.

  Now realizing his error, he helped the man off the ground and shoved three hundred dollars in his hand for the trouble. The man wiped the blood from the corner of his mouth and looked at him in horror.

  Handing him the keys he said, “Don’t forget the tires.”

  Miss Wayne

  “Excuse me have you seen her?” I asked a few people around East Capitol street in D.C. I heard that Miss Daffany stayed in a dope house somewhere in this area and was determined to find her tonight. As I showed the picture of her before she got on heroin, I hoped someone would recognize her even though she didn’t look the same.

  “Why don’t you get in the car, baby?” Dayshawn asked. He was a gay friend of mine that I’d been hanging with recently. I’ve known him for a long time but wasn’t as close with him as I was with Miss Parade and Miss Daffany. He was what I considered a quiet Gay. His style was preppy like Kanye West and he wore a lot of pastel colors. He was certainly fly. Like right now he had on a dark pink polo vest a white button down shirt and light blue jeans. Ever since Parade didn’t want to hear anything about Daffany, he was the only one I talked to. “It’s getting dark out here and we been outside all day.” He continued, following me slowly in the car as I walked up the street.

  “I can’t leave until I find her. You know that!” I screamed. I was wearing sneakers, sweat pants and a baggy sweat shirt. Outside of my hair in a ponytail, it was the closest I came to looking like a boy in years. “I have to bring her home tonight!” Tears ran down my face. “If you can’t understand that you can just leave!”