by H. M. Ward
“Tell me.”
Those blue eyes are dark with desire. Nick’s lashes lower, then lift, and when our gazes lock, he confesses, “I love you. I can’t believe I’m holding you. This is a dream, Sky.”
“I love you, too.” I laugh as a tear rolls from my eye. “I wanted to hate you, but I just couldn’t.”
“I’m glad.” Nick presses his lips to my neck and the world blurs away until it’s only him and me.
Nick spreads kisses across my neck and down my body. Inch by inch, he moves his mouth lower and lower. I feel dizzy with lust. I have no idea where my pants went or when they came off. Nick’s hands rove over my skin and cup my butt pulling me toward him. As he does so, he finds my mouth and kisses me hard. My eyes are closed, lost in lust, as I kiss him back. The butterflies in my stomach swirl into a tornado, fluttering upward into my head. I don’t think, for once I feel and only feel. I allow myself to let go and be lost in the moment. I drop my defenses and say whatever comes to my lips, as Nick pulls us toward ecstasy.
He’s gentle with me and takes his time, letting me get to where I need to be before he tries anything like what Deegan tried the other night. It feels so different—good different. My body responds to his touch and when I feel my bra disappear, I’m not afraid. I don’t think about anything but him and me, and his touch on my skin. Nick’s mouth teases me until I can’t take it anymore. I cry out and feel warmth pulsing between my legs.
Nick watches me as I find my release and when I open my eyes, he’s smiling. “You can do that without me even touching you?”
For a second my face turns red, and I bury it in his shoulder, hiding my shame. He pulls back and smiles down at me. “No, no. That’s not what I meant. Don’t be ashamed of that at all. It’s beautiful, sensual, and I can’t tell you how much I want to be with you. I want to make you writhe. I want to hear you call my name and dig your nails into my back.”
Nick hooks his thumb around my panties and pulls them off. Before I can ask about protection, he has a condom out and on. Our slick bodies glide together, twisting, and tangling, while climbing higher and higher as his hips rock against mine. I’m lost, floating away, letting him do anything he wants, but what he wants is me. He treats me like he’ll never get another chance to be with me. Every inch of my body is kissed. Every place is touched, every curve is learned, until I can’t stand it anymore.
I cry out his name over and over again, rocking in sync with him until we both shatter.
CHAPTER 30
Nick’s been lying on his side, totally naked, brushing my hair away from my face. “Are you all right?”
I nod. “I’m perfect.” I kiss his cheek and he grins at me. I’m feeling light, floating away like a little cloud.
“I’m going to get a drink. Do you want something?” There’s a mini-bar in the room, and neither of us has touched it until now.
“Water, please.” I lie on my back and smile at him as he pushes off the bed.
He leans in and kisses the tip of my nose. “You made me fly, Sky.” Smiling, he watches me for a moment and then walks across the room.
On the way, he begins to pick up our scattered clothing. When he lifts my pants, something falls out—the bottle of super glue. Nick picks it up and before I can notice what he has, he looks back at me, suspiciously. “You did this?” He holds up the bottle.
It isn’t until I sit up that I see what he has. For a second I’m afraid, very afraid. “No, I was going to do something, but Sophie chewed me out and I never had the chance.” Damn. That came out wrong. After we realized we were locked in a room together, I decided against sabotaging his equipment. We both fell down a slippery slope, but this looks so bad.
Nick takes the glue and quietly places it on the desk. When he looks at me, his eyes are narrowed, and he doesn’t speak. Instead of going to the mini-bar, he pulls on his jeans, boots, and an old T-shirt. Then Nick walks over to the door and kicks it so hard that the jamb splinters.
“Nick, wait!” I jump up, taking the sheet with me. “Wait!”
But he doesn’t stop. He turns the corner and runs down the staircase without a word.
I’m still standing in the door, wearing nothing but my sheet and feeling like scum, when my phone rings. I walk toward it. AMY is flashing on the screen, so I answer. She never calls. “Hello, what’s wrong?”
“Sky, I’m glad I caught you. We have problems. I tried to handle everything else, I mean I did handle everything else, but there’s been a shitstorm of crap since you left.”
“What do you mean?” I sit down hard on the edge of the bed as she fills me in.
“The fire marshal showed up a month early and fined the hell out of us. I knew you were strapped, so I paid it. Don’t say anything. I know you’re too proud to accept help, and besides, you helped me when I fell flat on my face. But since then it’s been non-stop. I’ve handled everything, Sky, but this—I can’t do it. I mean, I tried, but you’re going to see it as soon as you come back.” Amy sounds like she’s ready to crack.
“What happened?”
“The sewer line to the shopping center backed up and ruptured in your store. It must have happened during lunch. I only left for an hour, but when I came back I found two inches of sewer water all over the floor. It was gushing everywhere. I called the city and they said it was the landlord’s issue, so I called the landlord and he shut it off, but Sky—everything is ruined. I called the insurance company. I swear to God, I tried to handle it, but they said your policy lapsed. I don’t know what to do. I can’t afford a clean-up service and no one can be in here right now.”
I blink rapidly as she speaks and try not to cry. Nick did this, I’m sure of it. While he was covering me in kisses a pipe broke and destroyed my store. I manage to ask, “What about Nick’s store? And the rest of the shopping center?”
“The break in the line was by your store. They weren’t affected.”
My chest feels hollow. He ripped out my heart and stomped away. I don’t cry when I say it. “Flip the sign to closed and leave. I’m sorry, Amy, but I’m not going to be able to recover from this. You’ll have to find a job somewhere else.”
Amy gushes apologies and tells me that I might be able to come up with something when I see it, but I know she’s just trying to keep me in one piece until I get home. “It’s okay, Amy. I knew this was coming. Thank you for everything. I’ll see you when I get back.” I end the call and cry into the pillow. It still has the scent of the man who told me he loved me, while he stabbed me in the back.
CHAPTER 31
I shower and dress, packing up the things that I brought into the trunk of my huge car. The sun has set and the reception is in full swing. My dad is still wearing his suit. It’s a little too snug and pinches under his neck and arms. But he looks nice all dressed up. “Skylar, are you leaving so soon?” His face is pinched. He knows I wasn’t at the wedding, but he doesn’t ask why or what’s wrong. There’s this thing he does, it’s like he can tell when I need him and he just quietly shows up. He usually knows what to say without adding to my anguish, so I don’t hurry away from him.
“Yeah, Dad, I have to,” I say, not making eye contact with him as I speak. “A pipe broke at the store and it’s a huge mess. Amy said she needs help and she never asks for help. I need to go back.”
He tucks his hands under his armpits and stands in that dad pose he sports when I’m ready to burst into tears. “My tool kit is in my trunk. Let me go get it for you. Maybe there’ll be something you can use.”
I don’t have the heart to tell him no, so I nod and say, “That’d be great.”
Daddy walks off while I dart inside and up the staircase to grab the last of my things. I’m so afraid I’ll see Nick, and I can’t deal with him now. I need to go. Stay focused. Stay calm. Cry later. I chant my mantra over and over again, planning on singing angry 90’s music all the way home. The people on the ferry will totally ignore me. It’ll be awesome. The Jagged Little Pill album is already q
ueued to play on my phone.
When I get to my car, I dump the rest of my stuff in the trunk and slam it. That’s when I see dad toting a red toolbox toward me. When he’s by the car, he says, “Sometimes things don’t work out and the reason has nothing to do with you, or how good you are.”
Damn it. My eyes sting, but I blink back the tears. “Thanks, Dad.” I take the toolbox and kiss him on the cheek.
“Sure. I’ll come by the shop when I get home. We’ll fix it, Sky.” I nod and smile at him. There’s no point in telling him right now. Besides, I have a feeling he knows I’ve fallen on my face and lost everything.
Now the only decision left is whether or not to retrieve my crappy camera with Sophie’s boudoir pictures. It’s sitting in the chapel and I don’t want to risk seeing Nick. I can’t just leave it there, so I decide to sneak around in the dark by staying off the main path. I move through the parking lot like a crook, and around to the side of the hotel. Keeping off the path, I take the long way to the chapel, ensuring I won’t see anyone.
Staring at the ground, I kick a rock and wonder how things could have gotten so messed up. My heart is gone and my chest feels empty. My anger has melted away and I don’t know where it went. It’ll probably spring up at an inappropriate moment and make me look even crazier than I already do.
There are massive boulders on both sides of me, and I know I shouldn’t walk this path after sunset, but I really don’t want to talk to anyone else before I leave. I weave my way in and out of trees and boulders, following close to the shore, while making sure I’m still hidden in the shadows. For a moment, I think someone is behind me, but when I look back, nobody is there.
I continue on to the chapel and just before the turn I should take to come up behind it, I hear a twig crack. I whirl around, heart racing, and expect to see an ax murderer, rusty blade in hand, but instead it’s just Deegan. “Hey, Sky. I thought you were never going to show up.”
Confused, I stare at him and then finally remember his text message. “Oh, yeah. Listen, today didn’t go as planned.”
“Tell me about it.” He falls into step beside me and slips his hands into his pockets. “But that’s no reason to waste a perfectly good night, right?”
Sex with Deegan? Now? Can he not read me at all? My shoulders are slumped forward and my eyes are all puffy. Any idiot could tell that I’d cried long and hard. “Not tonight, but thanks.”
“Hey,” he grabs my arm and pulls me with him toward a rock. A tree grows right along side of it, so you can’t see anything else. “Oh shit, don’t tell me that asshole nailed you instead of me. Is that where you’ve been all day? I thought the cheating thing would have sealed the deal. Guess you take whatever you can get.” Deegan waggles his eyebrows at me.
“What are you talking about?” My brain still feels foggy, like I’m missing something.
“I put that coin in your room when housekeeping was there. I said I forgot something in your bathroom and I left the coin on the sink for you to find. I thought you were the innocent type, and was sure a cheater would turn you off. Guess not.” He tries to kiss me, but I won’t let him. Pushing my hands against his chest, I try to shove him away.
“Deegan, cut it out.” My stomach sinks. This feels wrong, even though I know him. He wouldn’t hurt me. He’s just messing around. I push him again, but he doesn’t back off.
“Don’t be like that, Sky. Let me help you forget whatever’s bothering you.” In that second he changes. Deegan doesn’t listen to me, pressing harder against me as he gropes and grabs my ass. At the same time, his lips come down on my neck. It’s what we did last night, but it feels different now—it’s unwanted.
“You’re bothering me,” I try to shove him away, but he doesn’t move. “Deegan, stop! It’s not funny anymore!” My voice is a little louder this time, but it’s nowhere near a scream. I shift to knee him in the groin, but the guy pins me against the rock and clasps his hand over my mouth.
“Come on, Sky. If you were going to give it away the other night, why is this night any different? Relax, okay?” He’s watching me, trying to see if he can move his hand.
Every hair on the back of my neck is prickled. Deegan’s other hand is lingering by the hem of my skirt, lifting it higher and higher. I nod, and his hand slips away. “Let me do this my way and I’ll make sure you like it. If you don’t, you won’t like it at all. Understand?”
He’s too close. I try to act like I’m going to answer him, but the air that fills my lungs for the scream inflates my chest. He feels it and I barely shriek before he’s crushed me back against the rock again. All the air rushes from my lungs and I can’t yell. The little yelp is swallowed up by the dark night, and my heart races harder. Sweat drips down my neck and I feel paralyzed.
“Fine, if that’s how you like it.” Deegan turns me around, but manages to keep my mouth covered. He’s right up against me, lifting my skirt and pushing my face into the stone. I try to yell, but I can’t move, and he has me pinned so tightly that I can’t breathe. When I hear the zipper, I snap. Without thinking, I bite into his hand and don’t stop until I taste blood.
He screams, “You bitch!” before he lets go. My skirt falls and I try to run, but he catches my wrist. “You fucking little whore!”
“Let me go!” Now that he’s finally uncovered my mouth, I have no breath. I can’t belt out a death scream, I can barely talk because his grip on my throat is so tight. I kick at him and drop to the ground. That’s what they said to do if someone’s trying to take you, right?
Deegan drags me for a second and stops. “Fine, you want it this way. I’ll give it to you, Sky.” I try to crab crawl away from him on my hands and feet, scurrying backward. I’m incoherently crying, saying things that don’t register in my mind. He lunges at me and gets hold of my ankle and drags me back toward him. When he straddles my hips and pulls up my skirt, I start bellowing so loudly that he slaps me across the face. Blood spatters from my wound and I’m temporarily silenced. He grins, right before he positions himself to push in. “You know what they say, right? It’s usually someone you know.”
I can’t move. I close my eyes and expect him to rape me and take what he wants, but there’s a rush of air, a strangled sound, and then nothing. When I open my eyes, he’s gone. I sit up and frantically look around. Deegan is rolling with someone, another guy. Deegan throws a punch, but the other man is beating the crap out of him. I stand shaking, unable to move or speak. Punch after punch is thrown until Deegan stops fighting back.
“Stay down, you mother fucking son of a bitch!” Nick’s voice rings out. I try to see his face, but it’s obscured by a red ball cap. He looks up at me and I just stand there shaking. A second later I start to cry. Nick doesn’t come to me. He doesn’t comfort me or hold me. Instead, he keeps his foot on Deegan’s chest and calls the cops.
CHAPTER 32
By the time the police arrive, Sophie and Steven are gone. Thank God. I don’t even know if she’s my friend anymore. The cops wrapped a blanket around me and told me to get counseling when I get home. I could just nod. I want to leave. Nick stays the entire time, but he keeps his distance. He tells them that he was walking on the street, on his way back from the chapel, when he heard me scream. When he got here, he did what he could.
The cop smiles. “You broke his ribs.” Nick looks livid, so the officer explains, “I would have done the same. Fucking asshole.” Then he gestures at me. “Make sure she’s okay. She shouldn’t be alone right now and it sounds like she’s driving back home. She won’t even tell me her name or her next of kin. Do you know her?”
Nick looks over at me and shakes his head. The cop rolls his eyes. “And I suppose you’re Mr. Smith?”
“Yeah.”
“Folks, we can’t press charges if we don’t have names. Are you pressing charges or do you want me to let him go?”
Nick answers for me. “She’ll press charges. I’ll call her attorney and take care of it. She’s going to crack if you push
her right now.”
The cop shakes his head, “I need to hear it from her.”
“What he said,” I manage, pulling the blanket tighter around my shoulders.
“Okay, tell your lawyer to get on it or the guy walks.” The cop takes Deegan away and suddenly it’s quiet.
I stare at the ground, still shivering even though I’m not cold. I haven’t said anything and I don’t know how long I’ve sat, but when I look up, Nick is still there standing across from me.
After a moment, he says, “Sophie told me about the glue, and that you didn’t do it. The tube in your pocket was full.” I just stare blankly at him. “Sky, I don’t know what to do.”
My defenses spring back up. Every wall I’ve ever made juts up from within me and I steel myself. “I don’t care.” I drop the blanket and start to walk back to my car. With each step, I walk faster and take longer strides.
“Where are you going? Sky, stop.” Nick chases after me. Running alongside me, he says, “I’m sorry. I thought you played me. I thought you were sincere and then I found out you weren’t. What would you think?”
Livid, I stop, but a placid calm smile comes across my face. “Exactly the same thing.”
“I can’t fix this, can I?” Nick asks. I shake my head and look away after folding my arms over my chest. He’s going to pretend that he had nothing to do with decimating my studio. Fine. The hell with him. “I deserve that, but you can’t drive home by yourself.”
“Watch me.” I turn and walk away. Nick is careful not to grab me or touch me. It feels like I’m rattling and all the nuts and bolts that hold me together are coming undone and falling to the ground with every step I take. When I reach my car, I get in and slam the door. The window is down and I can’t put it up until I start the engine. When I do, the car is so damn old that it takes forever for the window to go up. It slowly slides closed with Nick standing there. He could easily stop it, but he doesn’t.