Kevin chuckled darkly, "Of course. How else would we get away with so much? Allen turns a blind eye to most of it, our staunchest supporter." His expression turned sober again, "Which is why we probably thought we could convince him… but it was a failure. We just ended up angering him."
He stared into the fire for several long moments, and seemed to come to a decision while I sat in stunned silence, "Stratus," Ruark said quietly, "Emily wasn't just killed to send a message to me. That would have been petty… but you won't like the real reason. Emily was killed because she was Randall Walsh's niece, and Lincoln figured it would be best to clean up shop just in case."
My shock was only outweighed by my anger at his revelation, "She was only nineteen." I whispered furiously, "How… why…"
Ruark sighed sadly, "I know, Stratus. I really do. But… recognize that mages can grow up quickly. Look how fast you've progressed already- and more will be coming for you soon. The last thing they wanted was a powerful mage stirring up dissention over revenge. It was… just business. No one is sorrier than I am."
I looked at Kevin Ruark. He said nothing now, but merely stared back at me forlornly, a young man defeated and hoping for my commiseration. I could offer him none, all my mind could see was him Cloaked in front of his own apprentice, who he had been supposed to teach… then killing her. Just because he was ordered to do so.
"Dammit..." I cursed quietly, fists clenched and trembling, "I honestly can't stand to be in the same room with you right now." With that parting statement, I stalked towards the next room and stairs. I felt his pleading eyes, eyes that wanted for me to somehow understand, follow me the whole way.
I could find no sympathy, and only felt a deeper rage.
111
To my surprise, the hallway which led to the different assigned rooms of the Archanos initiates wasn't empty when I climbed up the steps. Nishi stood, staring very intently at a certain door and took no notice of my quiet ascent until I was nearly in arm's length of her. Her gaze snapped from the door to look at me in surprise. I returned the look with a quizzical one of my own.
"What are you doing here, Nishi?" I asked curiously, "I thought you were going to stay on campus this semester."
She hesitated for a moment, then laughed quietly and rolled her eyes, pulling me into a friendly hug, "Is that any way to greet someone you haven't seen in a month, Nick? How have you been? How was break?"
I returned the hug, but was still confused, "Fine, got a lot of training done. How about you?"
"Training?" Now it was her turn to look curious, "Mine was… uneventful. I spent most of it with Jimmy. Going back home after everything that's happened here… it's strange, isn't it?"
I had to agree with that, but I still had the same question, "Why are you here? Are you thinking about living here instead of on campus?"
The Indian girl nodded emphatically, "Yes, I was, but honestly I don't really like it here… kind of gloomy. I'm just going to stay the night. Good night, Nick, see you in the morning." With that and another quick hug, Nishi turned from me and walked into one of the empty rooms that was reserved for members that were just visiting for a short period of time. I didn't even have time to reply before she was gone.
Weird.
I glanced at the door that Nishi had been not so subtly glaring at. If I recalled correctly, it was the room that Vik and Larry shared. Well that in itself was almost self-explanatory… Vik probably did or said something or other, or maybe even Larry in his drunken askance about being rejected from Harvard. I had forgotten the argument at dinner nearly a month ago, and didn't consider it a possibility.
Nishi would just have to get over whatever it is, I decided as I walked slowly to my own room, that strange situation resolved.
I stopped for a moment when I reached it to look at the final door that loomed at the very end of the hall. In the darkness, I could see that it was cracked open just a bit, silvery moonlight whispering silently through the slight opening. I crept towards it, curious. I had never seen behind that door, and had just assumed that it was another sleeping space. I reached it, and slowly, gently, I pushed the door open to reveal what was inside.
Another set of stairs was what I found. Different than the stoutly straight, old steps that led to the second floor. These steps swirled upwards, twisting in a tight spiral that led through an opening at the very top. I stood near and peered upwards, but all I could see was darkness. I noted the large ornate window in which moonlight streamed through, the only light present.
Curiosity well and truly guiding me now, I grasped the gilded railing that spiraled alongside the polished wooden stairs and allowed it to dictate my motion, upward, upward, until I was on the next level of the house.
A single door in darkness was what I found. It was an etched white that just barely stood out in the shadowed gloom. I idly wondered if Archanos had trouble footing electricity bills considering the lack of modern lighting in the house. I half-expected the white door to be locked, but it opened easily with only a slight creaky protest. It led to a strange room, with a single occupant lying near the middle of the unfilled space atop a comfortable looking blanket.
Carmen looked up at me when I entered, confused for a moment, but then smiled.
"Hi Nick."
I returned the smile, even as my eyes studied the room curiously. It was large and long, and very unremarkable, except for the fact that a large portion of the ceiling seemed to be made of sloping glass, which allowed the light of the full moon to flood the room. The stars, those that were visible through the smog of the city air, sparkled dully. The room was also surprisingly warm, considering that it was still very much winter.
The silence, the moonlight, the warmth, it gave the room a very soothing feel. I hadn't even realized I was on edge since I had stepped into the frat house again until I entered this place. It felt disconnected from the rest of the house, on a plane all its own, separate and at peace. I felt… safe.
"What is this place?" I asked Carmen, as I came closer to her and she gestured for me to sit in the spot next to her.
"We call it the Star Room." Carmen replied, staring up with a sad smile, "Even though there aren't very many stars to see anymore. I usually come up here whenever I stay the night at the house. I used to come up with Emily before… well, you know."
"…You really miss her." I said, feeling stupid, like I was stating the obvious. A spark of anger as I remembered the conversation I had just had with Ruark, the confession I just heard. Carmen was alone because of Ruark. Maybe he hadn't wanted to do it, but the fact was that he did.
"Every day." Carmen replied, ignorant of my internal struggle to reaffirm my understanding of Archanos's initiates.
We sat in the silence, no sounds except for our own breaths and the various whispering creaks of the old house as the wind played against its sides as if it was a particularly bulky instrument. A disproportionate haunted symphony that played continuously, the house's method of communication. Its own way of being alive… the presence of it was almost soothing.
"Maybe she was lucky." Carmen whispered suddenly.
"What? Who?"
"Maybe Emily was the lucky one." She repeated, "What's the point, really? If I live to be eighty, or ninety, or even a hundred. That's only about eighty years longer than she lived. The universe has existed for billions of years and will continue for billions- or even trillions- of years after we're gone. How much have I gained? Nothing, it feels like."
Carmen hesitated for a moment, and then admitted, "Sometimes, I just want to follow her."
Follow her. Suicide.
"…Don't you dare." I said quietly, and I saw her turn in surprise. I felt uncomfortable with her questioning gaze on me, but I couldn't stop now, "Emily died unfairly, and I know that must hurt. I've seen enough friends killed, people I cared about, to know how much it hurts. I thought about the same thing you are right now… so many times. You feel like you have nothing to live for. Nothing to continue on fo
r. You're alone, because no one will ever understand you like she did."
I looked up, remembering a similar night in Virginia, the summer when I had been so isolated after high school. Unsure where I was going and if it was even worth it to try, "We don't know our futures, and we barely understand why things happen to us in the past. But just because today is cold, and you're alone, doesn't mean that you always will be. You meet new people, make new friends… try and be happy. Because that's really what Emily would have wanted for you. I know my friends would have never forgiven me if I took the easy way out. That's what suicide is, it's an escape. You give up on the game so you quit… well, that just seems kind of pointless to me, you know?"
Carmen didn't say anything for a long time. I hoped I had gotten through to her, but what else could I do or say? I couldn't watch her all the time, if she wanted to kill herself… who could really stop her?
Something glistened against her cheek, and the dark-haired girl wiped it away quickly.
"I'm going to bed." Carmen said, standing up slowly. I wondered for a moment if she was angry with me, angry for me telling her off.
"Thank you." The Hispanic girl said quietly suddenly as she stopped at the doorway, Carmen turned her head back for a moment, and in the low light I could see she was smiling. It was the sad sort of understanding smile, the one you gave when you were trying to look happy, to be strong. The sight of it wasn't something that made me feel better… if anything, the sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach deepened.
I had smiled like that, before. When I was at my worst, when I would stare in the mirror and try to feel stronger just by will… knowing that there was nothing better I would like to do than finish myself and join Reggie and the others.
"Anytime." I murmured, as I watched her leave. I felt very alone, but despite my misgivings I couldn't bring myself to stop her.
You can't force anyone to live. They have to want it.
I have to admit though, seeing her at breakfast the next morning eating Vik's runny scrambled eggs was a bit of a relief. I wasn't sure if I would have been able to handle yet another death on my conscience.
111
It came at me quickly, a whizzing sparkling wall of telekinetic force launched with the intent to harm. I could have dodged, but instead I turned towards the attack, crouch slightly and shoving off the ground while gathering power to me. I concentrated it near my fist for quick release at the right moment, an attack affectionately known as the Hammer.
My fist whipped out and I struck at my enemy's attack with a grunting battle cry. The two contradictory forces met, and mine won by a margin. I had slowed a bit, and my enemy had changed locations since I had lost sight of them behind the blinding miasma of the attack. I dug my heel in yet again and shoved off the ground hard to fly in a new direction of attack.
The little trick, a deviated offshoot of Jumping, was known as Dashing. I had quite taken a liking to it in the past few months of sparring in the mornings in the training area located beneath the APA house. It made sprinters look like a joke when you compared the pure speed, but it lacked instant maneuverability and it was difficult to change directions suddenly.
Kristen, my current opponent, attempted to gather another telekinetic attack but was too slow. I was already on top of her before she could complete it and she was forced to fight instead of finish. She came at me with twin knives, a flurry of speed and power. One slashed delicately close to my right arm, but I pulled it back in time and moved backwards cautiously. My hand-to-hand simply wasn't good enough to challenge her up close yet.
It gave her enough space to gather a bit of energy to her. A flurry of loose rocks were sent my way courtesy of the short girl. Kristen snarled angrily as she tried to track me as I shot around in different directions, using the Dash to great effect. If there was one lesson I had learned well from Les, it was the ability to gather power to me quickly. In that particular area, I had already surpassed Kristen, much to her frustration.
Tired of running and looking to return the edge to my favor again, I locked onto the incoming projectiles with my own willpower, and diverted them out of my way with one hand. All the while gathering power again to my clenched fist yet again. I Dashed again, this time straight at her without pause. Kristen's eyes widened as she saw the forming Hammer, and I saw her gather her own power in a desperate attempt to match it.
"Asshole!" She screamed at me in frustration.
I shoved my ultra-bright fist outwards and sent a compact sphered rainbow whistling excitedly at my unready opponent, who threw up her hands and sent whatever power she had managed to call to her in a protective screen in from of her body. The Hammer collided with a satisfying crack and splintered the brittle magical defense, its inertia determined to continue its path shattering through the barrier to strike.
Despite a significant portion of the energy siphoned by the obstacle, Kristen was still sent sprawling a good four or five feet before rolling to a crumpled heap, and she didn't get up. My last Dash carried me to a spot just several feet away from her, and I hopped on tiptoes to come to a complete stop.
Adam rushed out to check on his fraternal twin, sending me a glare for good measure. I couldn't help but grin back at him. If he wanted, I was still fresh enough to brawl with him as well. The adrenaline pumping through my veins told me I could do anything. There was nothing like undeniable proof of your own progress, two months ago, Kristen had handily wiped the floor with me. Now, she couldn't even keep up for three minutes.
"Two months and you've already gotten cocky." Les commented from his corner of the room, standing and checking his watch, "Its 8 AM, you have class in another two hours and you need a shower. And I need my breakfast."
"Yes sir." I said, resisting the urge to roll my eyes.
I had been unsure how a master/servant relationship would work between me and Les. Far more affable than Danae, I didn't think it would be as bad as Carmen had it. I had been correct, technically it wasn't. He had yet to punish me by whipping, or slicing my palm open. That didn't mean he was liable to smack me around to try and teach me a lesson, however. I also had other unfortunate duties.
Every morning, I woke up at seven for training in the basement of the house. The basement was something awesome. It had been built large enough to fit a small field, maybe twice as large as the house itself in its sheer perimeter. There was easily enough room for several groups to train at once. Les was my major opponent, though I sometimes worked with one of the others.
Often times, I was set in a spar against Jimmy, Nishi, or Libin. None had the training I had over the break, and were easy to beat, much to their annoyance. I had the distinct pleasure of watching them being pelted with baseballs by their mentors as well. Les was right; it was a lot more fun to watch from the outside.
The times I fought against Carmen, Kristen or Adam were much more interesting. I was barred from using my Aether abilities with fire, since it was a dangerous advantage and we were only sparring. It left the playing field a lot more even, and really should have skewed it heavily to their side. Whenever they were allowed to use weapons, it made it that much more difficult for me. I had steadily been making gains in the telekinetic and elemental department, but weapons weren't my strength. Les hadn't begun teaching me any type of weapon, preferring to get me started on hand-to-hand first.
Carmen could whirl a retractable metal staff with excellent precision, Kristen was deadly with her twin knives, and Adam's aim with a small firearm was something to be feared even though he would only shoot blanks in a spar. Les fought only with his hands, a master of three different disciplines of martial arts. He had begun teaching me, but it was clear that it was difficult for him to teach it, especially to someone who didn't have a knack for it already. Still, he persisted, and those days usually consisted of me being tossed on my ass.
As for precognition, as excellent as it was, had its major weaknesses when in the presence of another mage. Already I was limited to only half a seco
nd of sight into my own personal future, something that would improve with age… but a lot of age. It would be close to a decade before I saw any significant difference. When fighting a mage, magic was already being pulled back and forth in a tug of war, precognition basically went out the window with it. Useless, except in the first exchange.
So, if anyone shot at me, I could see it coming and hopefully dodge in time, but not if I was locked in conflict with another mage.
Another weakness of precognition was that it wasn't some fortune teller that you could ask questions to. I would never know the future further than a few seconds. By the time I asked the question, the moment would have already passed. Masters that had years of experience with precognition had been known to be able to see five seconds into their futures, but that was the max.
It was supposedly possible to have the talent to see further into the future because magic's field existed everywhere at once, but that came in random flashes and only to certain people. Seers, both of past and future, were as rare as Aethers.
Despite Vik's teasing at the beginning of the semester, I never actually fought anyone other than a sophomore, unless it was Les. It left me wondering how I would fare against any of them, and I often speculated how much my own teacher was holding back. I had never beaten Les in a fight, though I liked to think that I had come close several times. Usually at those points, he would kick it up a notch and dissuade any thoughts I had about winning, very quickly.
Les had more than training demands for me. The first time I had sat at my normal table in the UGL, he came over almost immediately.
"Follow me." He said shortly, and I only had a chance to look bewildered at Tammy, the only other person who had made it to the table so far, before trailing after my teacher.
"You sit with us, from now on." Les said sternly, nodding towards our destination, the Senate Corner. The idea of it didn't sit well with me. I had no interest in becoming another drone of the Senate Squad.
Mage of Shadows Page 27