But no. Instead of wailing or crying, she straightened her shoulders and put her hands neatly in her lap. When she finally spoke, her measured tone betrayed nothing, not the slightest hint of grief or pain or any other emotion. This made his chest ache.
“What are you doing here, Jesse?” she asked, exhaling in a sigh.
Now? She wanted to talk about this now? He swallowed, deciding to stick to the facts even though she already knew them. “Your father asked Drew to hire me. Raul wanted someone he trusted to look after you. You know as well as I do that he never liked Drew.”
“Smart man.” Her enigmatic response told him nothing. “Do you think Drew had any idea of our prior relationship?”
“Didn’t the two of you discuss it?”
At first, she didn’t respond. He kept driving, alternating his attention between her and the road. He’d tried not to think of their marriage, since the thought of her making love with another man tore him up inside. When her father, head of the motorcycle club Brothers of Sin, had given him the orders to go work as her bodyguard, at first Jesse had believed the older man was punishing him. Though for what, he had no idea. Everyone in the club knew how much Jesse loved Eva, even though she’d broken up with him when he’d refused to leave Brothers of Sin behind. What she didn’t understand was that Jesse couldn’t. Not now, not yet. And he wasn’t even able to discuss this with her.
Rather than punishing one of his top men, Raul Mendoza had simply decided to use Jesse’s feelings for Eva to his advantage. Though he did business with Drew Rowson, Raul didn’t trust him. Especially not with Raul’s precious daughter. Even if Eva refused to have anything to do with the club, her father or Jesse, Raul still worried about her.
As did Jesse. Even more so now that he’d been around her and her husband for three weeks. His real bosses had jumped at the chance to investigate Drew, whom they considered even bigger fish than the head of BOS. Once again, Jesse had no choice in the matter.
Secretly, the thought of being around Eva made his every nerve come alive. Even if she’d married another man, even if she clearly cared nothing for Jesse, who’d once sworn to love her the rest of his life. Jesse guessed Eva didn’t understand that he always kept his oaths.
Riding in silence, they finally arrived at the gated community in Anniversary, Texas. Eva punched in her code and the huge iron gates swung open. Houses in this part of town were owned by local celebrities, CEOs and other high-profile people. A former president even lived nearby.
Eva sat, her back ramrod straight, her gaze straight ahead, as if pretending Jesse was nothing but her chauffeur. Her feelings remained a mystery. These days, the vivacious, passionate woman he knew had been taken over by an efficient, bloodless automaton. Jesse wondered how hard she’d had to work to bury herself and if there was any chance she’d find her way back.
But then again, what did it matter? In the end, she’d hate him all over again, only for a different reason.
Pulling into the long driveway that led to the two-story McMansion, Jesse parked the Range Rover in front of the garage. Eva hopped out the second the vehicle stopped, barely waiting for the garage door to open.
Shaking his head, Jesse followed her, locking the car with the remote. The first time he’d seen the antiseptic, impersonal elegance inside this house, he’d known Eva hadn’t had anything to do with its decorating. He couldn’t understand how, in two and a half years of marriage, she hadn’t put her personal stamp on a single room.
Even the nursery. Instead of the typical bright colors most people associated with infants, her son’s room had been done in black, white and gray. Depressing as hell, as far as Jesse was concerned.
Of course, what did he know? He wasn’t an interior designer or a child psychologist. Maybe a monochrome color palette was the newest thing in child development. If Liam were his kid, Jesse knew there would have been airplanes or bunnies or something. Normal baby stuff.
Despite his complicated life, at heart Jesse considered himself a simple man. He knew what he deemed important and comported himself accordingly. Sometimes, it was the only way he kept himself sane.
Inside the house, he stood in the antiseptic, modern kitchen and eyed the curving staircase. Knowing Eva’s routine, he figured she’d gone immediately to see her son. Though she and Drew employed a full-time nanny, Eva appeared to enjoy lavishing attention and time on Liam. At least she hadn’t changed in that area. For as long as Jesse could remember, Eva had loved children and babies.
Halfway up the stairs, his cell phone vibrated. His other cell phone, the untraceable, generic one he switched out every few weeks. He didn’t answer, knowing there’d be no voice mail. Only one person had that number and he’d return the call later, when he had zero chance of being overheard.
Continuing on to the baby’s room, he glanced inside. As he’d expected, Eva sat on the floor, watching as her two-year-old son played with his plastic truck.
Kara, the nanny, had retreated to the background, having taken a seat in the rocking chair. Eva’s silky dark hair fell like a curtain around her face, until she brushed it back from her shoulders with an impatient gesture.
He wondered how she’d tell the boy his father had died, or if she’d even bother. Jesse wasn’t sure how much the toddler would comprehend.
Right now, Eva appeared serene and beautiful, as if the horrific event of a few hours ago had never even occurred. Any other woman would have fallen apart. Even one who’d grown up around a tough bunch of bikers like Eva had. He didn’t understand it. She’d been standing right next to her husband when he’d been gunned down in cold blood. She had to process the emotional trauma of that sooner or later.
Didn’t she?
* * *
Eva knew Jesse stood in the doorway. One of the curses of having him here was her überawareness of his every move. Larger than life, handsome as sin, he looked every bit the stereotypical biker, except for the fact that he’d cut shorter his now spiky blond hair. Even now, when she’d chosen another man, the sight of Jesse sauntering into a room made her insides quiver. He was her first love, only love, and now her enemy. She had no idea what Drew had been thinking when he’d hired Jesse Wyman to be her bodyguard. It was like handing the fox the keys to the henhouse.
Or would have been, she amended. If she’d been any other woman. That part of her life was over.
Her cell phone rang. Glancing at it, she saw the call was from her father. No doubt he’d heard the news.
“Mija, I don’t have time to talk,” he said, instead of his usual greeting. “I’ve heard about what happened to Drew and I’ve been told your life is in danger. Come home, where me and the club can protect you.”
“No.”
“Eva, listen to me—”
“Dad, please stop. This has already been an upsetting day. I’m with Liam now. I don’t need any more stress.”
“Do you want to leave your son without a mother?” Raul asked, his voice harsh. “If you don’t listen to me, that’s what’s going to happen.”
She’d had enough. “You sent me a bodyguard,” she reminded him, refusing to give him the satisfaction of letting him know how much his choice of men bothered her. “How about you just let him do his job?” She ended the call, turning to find her son standing uncertainly in the doorway, watching her with wide eyes, his lower lip trembling.
“Mama?” he asked, his expressive little face crumpling in reaction to her harsh tone, about to break out in sobs at any moment.
“Shh, it’s okay, sweetheart,” she soothed, picking him up and cuddling him close. She caught a glimpse of Kara leaning against the wall playing on her phone. When the nanny realized Eva was watching, she shoved the phone into her pocket and started forward to no doubt retrieve Liam.
“It’s okay,” Eva forestalled her. “I’ll call you if I need you.”
Kara nodded, drifting away
, and disappeared in her room, glancing sideways and fluttering her eyelashes at Jesse as she passed him.
Carrying Liam downstairs and into the kitchen, Eva settled him in his high chair and got him his favorite snack, along with his sippy cup and milk. This cheered him up immensely and he happily occupied himself with his snack.
Exhaustion settling over her, Eva turned and eyed Jesse, silently standing just inside the entrance. As always, he managed to look dangerously sexy, without even trying.
“That was my father on the phone,” she said.
He smiled. “I figured as much. How is Raul?”
“He wants me to come home, back within the bosom of BOS,” she said, not bothering to keep the bitterness out of her voice. “He thinks I’ll be safer there, with all the Brothers watching out for me.”
“He has a point.” Jesse’s steady gaze met hers. “How do you feel about that?”
“You know darn well how I feel about it.” Her sharp tone made Liam frown. She took a deep breath, trying to settle herself down. “My father says my life is in danger.”
Jesse’s eyes narrowed. “Raul is usually right about stuff like that. You know he loves you. If you do as he asks and go back to the club, you won’t have to worry about protection.”
“Is that what you think I should do?” she asked, surprising herself. But then again, whatever had happened between the two of them, Eva knew she could always trust Jesse. He and she might stand for different things, but he’d never once lied to her.
“Do you really care what I think?” he asked, crossing his arms. “You haven’t spoken two words to me since I got here, until today.”
Dipping her chin, she acknowledged the accuracy of his remark. She thought of Drew, of the way he’d jerked backward when the bullet hit him, right before he fell. Though she’d been waiting to feel something other than shock, she still felt empty inside. Dry-eyed, as if her new reality didn’t seem real.
Even though she’d asked Drew for a divorce and he’d turned her down, threatening to take Liam if she tried, she knew she ought to feel something. Sorrow, that his life had been cut too short. Worry, that someone had murdered him in cold blood and might be after her and her son. Something, anything other than the echoing hollowness that had crept through her blood, making her grow more numb day by day.
Could she even come back from that? She had to, for the sake of her son.
Inhaling, she met and held Jesse’s gaze. “Tomorrow I’ve got to go see about making funeral arrangements. I’d like to leave Liam with Kara. Will you make sure there’s extra security here at the house? I can’t risk someone trying to get to him.”
“Consider it done,” Jesse replied. “I just need to make a few phone calls.”
“Sounds good.” She turned her back on him, hoping he’d go take care of whatever he needed to do. She didn’t like the way Jesse was the only person who could cut through the numbness. Especially since he could never ever be part of her life again.
CHAPTER 2
Jesse left the room and, true to his word, made the necessary phone calls. The Anniversary Sheriff’s Department promised to have extra officers patrol the neighborhood. The security company already did monitoring, and they’d make sure someone watched the outdoor cameras 24-7.
And finally, a quick call to Raul ensured that a couple more Brothers of Sin were on the way, just in case Eva needed them. They’d be Jesse’s backups as her bodyguard. Since she wouldn’t go to them, Raul would send them to her. Jesse knew Eva wouldn’t like that, but once they were here, there wouldn’t be much she could do about it.
Though he hadn’t said anything to Raul, Jesse hadn’t liked what he’d found after coming here. Instead of living a blissfully happy life with her new husband, from what he could tell, Drew and Eva lived completely separate lives. They not only slept in different bedrooms, but they ate their meals alone and not at the same time. If they talked—and he could count on the fingers of one hand the words he’d ever heard them exchange—it wasn’t the kind of honest, tender conversation two people in love would have. Jesse should know. There had once been a time when he and Eva had shared numerous discussions at all hours of the day and night. He could listen to her talk for hours, marveling at the way her brown eyes flashed with passion.
Jesse might not have Eva’s affection any longer, but he would never forget the animation that lit up her face when she spoke about something important to her. All of that was gone, replaced by a subdued shadow of the vibrant woman Jesse had known and loved. He’d been furious at first, battling the urge to grab Drew by the collar of his overly starched shirt and demand to know what he’d done to Eva. If he’d been able to do such a thing without jeopardizing his mission—and Eva—he would have. Instead, he’d controlled himself and stayed in the background where he belonged. From there, he’d simply observed.
Right away, he’d discovered that Eva wasn’t herself. It was like she’d been…muted. All of the vivid, vibrant passion that made her extraordinary had been leached from her, leaving behind an automaton of a woman who softened only when she interacted with her son.
At first, when he’d arrived to become her bodyguard—a particularly cruel act on either Raul’s or Drew’s part—he’d believed her reserved demeanor was an act she used to keep him at arm’s distance. He actually couldn’t blame her. After all, she’d ended things with him and gone off and married Drew. No one wanted or expected their ex to show up three years later as their new bodyguard.
The woman he loved was gone. What had happened, when it had occurred, none of that was relevant. What mattered now was whether she could ever come back. While he knew he shouldn’t care, he couldn’t help but mourn Eva’s disappearance. He could understand if she’d shut down after witnessing her husband be murdered in cold blood. But she’d been different since day one, long before Drew’s death.
Jesse had yet to see Eva grieve.
One thing he did know for certain. If she’d once loved her husband, Jesse seriously doubted she did in the end. Knowing that made him ache to ask her why she’d gotten married. It had happened so quickly after she’d left him and the club. When Raul had told him, Jesse had assumed she’d been on the rebound and in her usual, passionate way, made a quick and rash decision. It hadn’t taken him a week here to see that theory had been wrong.
Everything had now changed.
Now Drew was dead. Instead of grieving, if anything Eva seemed to have withdrawn even more deeply. Jesse wanted to help her, but he had no idea how without crossing imaginary lines she’d drawn in the sand over two years ago.
Until Raul—and/or possibly the authorities—got to the bottom of Drew Rowson’s murder, all Jesse could do would be to keep her safe. And while doing so, somehow manage to protect his heart.
That night, the Rowson household went from crisis to crisis. The press had camped out in the street in front of the house, despite the gated community. Jesse figured they’d paid off the security guard on duty. When he’d called the sheriff’s office to see if they could make the reporters leave, he was told there was nothing that could be done since no one had trespassed. Evidently, once they’d made it past the entry gate, as long as they stayed on the street, their presence was legal.
The landline rang nonstop. Eva finally unplugged the base unit and turned all the others off. Little Liam, sensing something was up, became fussy, then launched into a full-blown tantrum.
The old Eva would have had an epic meltdown. Loud and funny and sweet. The kind that would have gotten even a tired two-year-old’s attention. Not now. Eva picked up the screaming toddler and placed him in his booster seat. She leaned in close, nose to nose with her son, and informed him she’d had enough. Her calm yet stern tone somehow worked miracles. Liam’s tears dried up and he quietly munched on the snacks she gave him until his dinner was ready. With her silky dark hair in a messy ponytail and faint shadows under her eyes,
she still managed to look beautiful.
“I’m impressed,” Jesse said, earning a tired smile from Eva.
“Thanks,” she replied, sighing. “Motherhood. Definitely one of the skills I’m constantly learning.”
He struggled not to frown. Her cell phone rang, interrupting whatever comment he might have been about to make. She pulled it from her pocket, glanced at the screen and sent the call to voice mail.
“More reporters?” Determined to get her to engage, he remained at his post leaning against the doorway, hoping he’d managed to arrange his expression to indicate nonchalance.
Lifting a brow, she glared at him. “No. My mother-in-law.”
“I see.” He knew better than to respond with any more than that.
After a moment, she turned back to making her own dinner. She glanced back at him over her shoulder. “Are you hungry?” she asked. “I’m making tacos. There’ll be more than enough for three.”
As if on cue, his stomach growled, loud enough to be heard across the room. He laughed. “I’d love that, thanks. Is there anything I can do to help?”
“Grab us some drinks from the fridge,” she said. “Liam has milk in his sippy cup, but I’d like some sparkling water. Help yourself to whatever you’d prefer.”
He grabbed them both sparkling water, located the glasses, added ice from the refrigerator and carried them to the table. Once he’d taken a seat, he had to work hard to keep from feeling uncomfortable. He’d been acting as Eva’s bodyguard for three weeks now, but so far they’d both kept their distance out of necessity on his part and lack of interest on hers.
Once she had everything ready, she brought it all to the table. She made Liam’s plate first, breaking up the taco shell into small pieces and mixing them with his ground meat, lettuce, tomato and cheese.
When she’d finished, she looked up to find Jesse watching her. “Go ahead,” she said, her voice completely without inflection. “No need to wait for me.”
Harlequin Romantic Suspense January 2021 Page 47