“I know.” Her wry smile tugged at his heart. “Liam will probably consider all of this a big adventure. He’ll be just fine. I’m not sure I’m going to be though.”
* * *
Jesse’s other cell phone rang while Eva talked to Mike, a big burly man with a neatly trimmed beard who’d shaken Jesse’s hand with a firm yet friendly grip. Seeing Raul’s number on caller ID, he stepped away to answer.
“What’s going on there?” Raul demanded. “I saw she fired the nanny.”
“How the heck do you already know that? We haven’t even told the other Brothers yet.”
Raul snorted. “Social media. That Kara doesn’t even have any privacy settings on her posts. It’s a good thing Eva got rid of her.”
“I have to agree with that.” Wondering how much he should tell Raul, he settled on a partial truth. “But Eva let her go mostly because she’s sending Liam to stay with a friend.”
“Who?” Clearly outraged, Raul all but shouted the question. Since he’d always had a volatile personality, Jesse wasn’t surprised.
“I can’t remember the name,” Jesse lied, eyeing the scene as Eva got Liam’s car seat out of her vehicle and showed Mike how to fasten it in. Since the only choice appeared to be the passenger seat or the sleeper, Jesse wondered what she’d do. He figured the passenger seat would be best, since most likely the Peterbilt didn’t have an airbag.
“Find out,” Raul barked. “I need to make sure my grandson is safe.”
“Come on, Raul. You know Eva’s not going to send Liam anywhere she’s not one hundred percent positive he’s going to be safe.”
Though Raul grumbled and muttered a few choice curse words, he finally admitted Jesse was right. “Is she around?” Raul finally asked. “I’ll just ask her myself.”
“She’s with someone right now,” Jesse said. “I can ask her to call you back once she’s finished.”
Raul grumbled again. “Sounds good. I know my boys arrived. How’s it going so far?”
“They just got settled. The sheriff’s office, FBI and ATF are investigating the bomb and the shooting. I’ve been trying to talk Eva into going into hiding, someplace safe, at least until they catch the guy. But you know Eva.”
“Let me guess. She refuses to let some scumbag run her out of her own home.”
Jesse had to chuckle. “You got that right.” He didn’t tell the other man that when Eva had reacted that way, it had been the first sign he’d seen that the old Eva still existed. He wasn’t sure if Raul knew the extent of how much his daughter had changed.
“Well, keep an eye on her and report back to me if anything changes,” Raul said. “When all of this settles down, I’ve got a big job for you.”
Normally, Jesse would have been all over that. Big jobs led to big information he could pass on to his handler. “Thanks, I appreciate that. But right now, I just want to focus on keeping Eva safe.”
“And I appreciate that, Jesse. I really do.” Raul ended the call just as Eva got out of the big cab and turned around, looking for him. The sheer grief-stricken panic on her beautiful face made his heart constrict.
Shoving the phone into his pocket, he strode over to her. Once again, he disregarded his vow and pulled her into his arms. “It’s going to be all right,” he promised, tenderly smoothing a wayward strand of hair away from her face. “Smile and make sure Liam understands it’s all right. You can fall apart once he’s gone.”
She nodded, straightening her shoulders and exhaling. With a determined smile on her face, she waved at her son, way up there in the cab. Mike had already climbed into the driver’s seat and buckled himself in. “I’ll call you when we get home,” he said. “It should be in about six hours.”
“Call that same number,” she said, pulling away from Jesse and stepping up onto the running board and leaning in to give Liam one last kiss on his cheek. Clearly excited, the toddler’s blue eyes shone.
Finally, Eva stepped down and closed the door. Liam looked so tiny up there in the huge truck. Eva moved to Jesse’s side and slipped her hand into his. Together they watched as the big rig pulled away.
Eva refused to leave until the truck had completely vanished from view. Once it had, she shook her head, her stoic expression chiseled in stone. “Let’s go.”
He drove them back, all the while bracing himself for her breakdown. But she sat still like a statue, staring straight ahead and not speaking.
CHAPTER 8
Eva’s heart didn’t break, though she felt like her entire body had shut down. Liam had been the one bright spot in her life, and she wasn’t sure how she was going to function without him. She wanted nothing more than to go home, crawl into her bed and pull the covers over her head.
Escape.
Though she’d worked hard to mostly keep it at bay, the darkness once again threatened to drag her down. She knew this had a name—depression—and she’d been fighting it ever since she’d realized her marriage to Drew was nothing but a sham.
Too ashamed to tell anyone, especially Drew, who wouldn’t have cared, or her father, who would have cared too much, she’d been battling this alone, refusing to admit even to herself she needed help. She actually made herself feel better when she forced herself to take some kind of action. So she’d asked Drew for a divorce, honestly believing he’d agree since clearly he wasn’t willing to even attempt to work things out.
But she hadn’t understood what her value was to him. He needed a spouse, a showpiece on his arm, the picture-perfect family to help him look good politically. It was then he brought up her father and the BOS. She hadn’t understood the undercurrents of the world her husband moved in. Apparently, Drew had done Raul a favor to pay off some debt, marrying his daughter. When she’d wanted to end it, Drew had refused and threatened to take her son, even though he barely even acknowledged Liam existed. He’d said he couldn’t have Raul as an enemy and she would have to stay. Drew had money, reputation and power. He’d told her she’d lose in any court battle, and she’d believed him. With a few words and a sneer, he’d erased that one tiny spark of hope she’d had left.
The darkness had swirled stronger, the howling winds of pain making her numb. Only Liam had been able to break through. And recently, occasionally, Jesse. Around him, she could remember the woman she’d been, fearless and passionate. She’d begun to ache for his touch, burn with wanting, believing he could bring her back to herself. Only the knowledge that she wasn’t the kind of woman to use him like that, to hurt him all over again for her own personal gain, stopped her.
In short, she considered herself a mess. All the craziness—Drew’s murder, the attacks on her and Liam and the blackmail threats—only made her want to retreat even further into the safe and comforting numbness.
Once she put the funeral and burial behind her, once the police and federal agencies captured the killer and the blackmailer, she promised herself she’d get professional help. She just had to hang on until then. And if there was one thing Eva had gotten good at, it was hanging on.
Right now, she needed to close her eyes and let everything go.
“Eva?” Jesse’s voice. She blinked, realizing they’d pulled into her driveway. “We’re home.”
It all came crashing back. The worry, the fear, the ever-encroaching grayness that struggled to cover her up. Covering her yawn with her hand, she stretched and then unbuckled her seat belt. She’d learned a long time ago if she acted normal, she did better. Glancing at her house, she jumped as a shadowy figure detached himself from the darkness and came toward them.
“It’s just Patches,” Jesse told her. “He must have outside front duty tonight.”
Heart settling back in a normal beat, she got out of the car.
“Hey there,” Patches drawled. “So far, everything has been quiet.”
“Good. Have the sheriff’s deputies been doing regular patrols, li
ke they promised?”
Patches nodded. “I’ve seen a marked car pass by here twice so far.”
“Perfect.”
As Eva went to move past him, Jesse reached out and caught her by the arm. “Not so fast. Let me check it out first.”
Surprised, she stared. “Why? If we have two men on the perimeter, and two men inside, what’s the risk?”
“Better safe than sorry.” Jesse gave her arm a light squeeze. “This will only take a minute. Wait here, and I’ll be right back.”
“I can do it if you want,” Patches offered.
“No, you should stay at your post. Keep an eye on Eva for me.”
Eva had heard enough. “I’m right here,” she said, the flash of anger surprising her. “Quit talking about me as if I’m a child in need of adult supervision. If you want to check out my house, go ahead. But I’ll be right behind you.”
Jesse froze, his gaze locking on hers. After a moment, he nodded. “You’re right. My apologies. Let’s go.”
She kept up with him as he strode off, leaving Patches staring after them. She didn’t care. The anger felt good, actually. Real and honest emotion, definitely better than the all-encompassing numbness.
He flipped on lights, room by room, as they swept through the house. For the first time since she’d moved in here, she realized how huge and sterile the place felt. Drew had hired a professional interior decorator, so very little of the furniture or artwork had been chosen by either of them. Eva had occasionally added a pillow or a knickknack, trying to add some color to the gray, blue and silver color scheme. Drew had removed them the instant he’d seen them, reminding her that they’d paid good money to make sure everything matched. After a while, she’d stopped trying.
The other two bikers were upstairs in the den, watching television instead of keeping watch, which bothered the hell out of her. Though she really didn’t want a lot of company, especially tonight when she had to learn how to function without her son, she did need them to do their jobs and help keep her safe.
Jesse recognized the problem immediately. “Don’t you two have something else you should be doing?” he asked, with a pointed glance toward the door. “Aren’t you supposed to be keeping watch?”
Exchanging guilty looks with each other, the men jumped to their feet and hurried out of the room. One of them muttered an apology as he went.
Once they were gone, she had no idea what to do with herself. She knew if she got too still, she’d miss Liam way too much.
In fact, she needed a distraction. Maybe tonight would be a good time to start going through Drew’s papers.
“Are you okay?” Jesse asked. “You look a little lost.”
About to confide the truth, that she was, she shrugged instead. “I need to straighten out my finances,” she said. “Finding out Drew cleaned out the joint savings account was a shock. And then there’s that man who threatened blackmail unless I pay him what he feels Drew owed him.”
Judging from the compassion in Jesse’s eyes, he understood anyway, even though he didn’t say. “You know, we need to find out why that caller thinks Drew owes him money,” Jesse said.
“I agree. But how?”
“Ask him next time he calls. I mean, come on. Does he really expect you to take him at his word? Tell him you need details, proof. Anyone could call and claim a dead man owes them money. You have a right to expect facts.”
“You’re right. I do.” She took a deep breath, before deciding to go ahead and state an ugly possibility. “But what if Drew and he were involved in something illegal?”
For a second, Jesse froze. He blinked and dragged his hand through his hair, making her wonder what he knew. “Do you think that’s a possibility?” he asked, his expression seeming to be carefully blank.
“Do you?” she asked, hoping to catch him by surprise.
He recoiled slightly. “Eva, I barely knew Drew. I have no idea what he might have been involved in.”
She thought she knew Jesse well enough to know when he was lying, but what he said made sense. Though technically, Jesse had worked for Drew, Raul had sent him when Drew had asked for a bodyguard. Drew had pointedly ignored Jesse and vice versa.
“You knew him the best,” Jesse pressed. “Is there any chance your husband might have been involved in something illegal?”
“Though I hate to admit it, you never know. Drew kept a lot of secrets. That’s the reason he had his own bank accounts and why I was surprised that he emptied our joint one. Clearly, he needed money for something. But what specifically, I have no idea.”
“Even more reason to find out.”
Since Jesse might be the only person she could trust right now, with the exception of her father, she decided to ask for his help. “I’d like to go through his papers in his office. Once we’re finished doing that here, I’d like to check out his office downtown.”
“I think that’s a great idea,” Jesse replied. “I wouldn’t mention this to Lori just yet. It might be better if you surprised her.”
Since she hadn’t yet reached a decision about whether or not to trust Drew’s campaign manager and assistant, she nodded. “Agreed. Do you mind helping me look? You might see something I miss.”
“Of course not. When do you want to start?”
“Now. I need something to keep me busy and distract me from worrying about Liam.”
A shadow crossed his handsome face, making her wonder. But when he smiled a second later, the kind of smile that made his eyes sparkle and sent a jolt of awareness right through her, she had to wonder if she’d imagined it. Probably so, projecting her own worries onto him.
“Great. Let’s get started.” After fetching them both a bottled water, she led the way back to Drew’s office. Jesse stayed behind her, not too close, but not allowing any great distance either.
“Why are the other two Brothers watching TV upstairs?” she asked, curious. “Why aren’t they helping Patches outside?”
“I gave them shifts,” he said. “Mostly perimeter guard duty. They’re working two on and two off. Patches and Rusty are on tonight. Shorty and Baloo will take over in the morning.”
Organized, she thought. Just like her father. Of course, Raul had taken Jesse under his wing and no doubt trained him.
At the end of the hall, she opened the heavy oak door that led to Drew’s space. It felt weird to enter the room, since she’d made it a point to stay out of his area.
Jesse whistled as they stepped inside. “This is a hell of a man cave.”
Turning slowly, she swept her gaze over the room. “It is,” she agreed. “He used it to entertain clients or backers a lot. Only when it was just the men. When their wives accompanied them, we tended to stick to the rest of the house.”
He cocked his head, considering. “I’m sensing you didn’t come in here often.”
She shrugged. “I didn’t. Early on in our marriage, Drew let me know of his need for a private space. This was it.”
Expression inscrutable, he watched her. “Did you have one too?”
“I didn’t need one,” she admitted. “When Drew was home, he pretty much kept to himself in here. The rest of the house was mine.”
“Sounds lonely.”
Despite the sympathy she saw in his gaze, she didn’t want to talk about her marriage. Not with him. Especially not with him. “Let’s get started with the file cabinets,” she said instead of answering. One tall five-drawer cabinet sat on each side of the long mahogany credenza behind the desk. “I’ll take the right, you take the left. If you find anything that even remotely seems questionable, please put it on the desk for us to look at later.”
“Sounds like a plan,” he replied, trying the handle. “Except it’s locked.”
“He kept them locked, though I’m not sure why. Maybe he thought the cleaning people might get nosy.”
&n
bsp; Jesse met her gaze. “Or he was worried about you looking at documents he didn’t want you to see.”
“No, he told me where he kept the key.” She swallowed, suddenly feeling worried. “He actually said in case something happened to him. It makes me wonder if he knew something.”
“You mean like a premonition?”
“Maybe. Or there might have been earlier threats and he didn’t tell me.”
She could tell this possibility intrigued Jesse. “Well, hopefully if that’s the case, he kept some sort of record of them. That might help narrow down a list of potential suspects.”
“He probably did. Drew kept records of everything.” She shook her head, remembering. “He even kept a notebook logging what suits and ties he wore to events. He didn’t like to repeat himself too often.”
Jesse laughed. The rich warmth of the sound felt out of place here, inside the solemnness of Drew’s sanctuary. She forced herself to look away, focusing on the oversize desk.
“I actually believe his will is in here, in one of the file cabinets, not at his office like Lori thinks. I could be wrong. I guess we’ll find out.”
Opening the desk drawer, she located the key. Drew hadn’t bothered to hide it because he knew she’d respected his wish for a private space.
Once she’d unlocked the left side, she moved over to the right. They were identical and shared the same key, though it took her several tries to unlock the second one. Once she had, she pulled out the bottom drawer and sat on the floor in front of it. “Let’s get to work.”
A moment later, Jesse pulled out a drawer and did the same thing.
She’d chosen to work on the right-hand side because Drew had told her that was where he kept his personal files. The side she’d given to Jesse was for business and political files, at least according to Drew.
They spent an hour sifting through paper in companionable silence. She’d finished with the bottom two drawers and decided to take a break before moving on to the next one.
Harlequin Romantic Suspense January 2021 Page 56