by Sara Hess
“Amen to that sister.” David exclaimed holding up his hand for a high five, which she returned. The two of them had been able to hang out a few times in the past year when David had come over to the apartment and got along great together.
Samantha and I got along really well too. She came up to visit Carrie all the time and would stay with us when she did. She was adorable, bubbly, and if I wanted a little sister she’d be at the top of my list, under Carrie. We didn’t look anything alike though; she had long wavy light brown hair, gray eyes, and was golden tan from the summer sun. In other words, she was beautiful.
“Do you know she even made an insinuation that my tuition could hinge on me rushing. I can’t believe she said that. God, she can be such a bitch sometimes.” Samantha snapped angrily,
None of us argued with her because we knew what a bitch she could be. She’d severed all contact with Carrie six years ago because she hadn’t wanted what she’d labeled ‘Carrie’s scandal’ to smudge her or her family’s position in society. She’d actually lied to her kids about Carrie’s whereabouts so they wouldn’t try and contact her. Fortunately, chance brought the cousins back together. But their mother was definitely a Grade-A Bitch.
“You should tell her that Carrie has offered to pay your tuition if she actually does do that. I bet she changes her tune quick.” I suggested. I didn’t know the woman at all, but I bet it would stick in her craw to have Carrie paying for Samantha’s tuition. “Oh my, god. What would people say if they found out?” I clutched at my chest dramatically.
Samantha’s lips thinned angrily. “Yeah, that probably would have her changing her tune.”
Carrie was sitting next to her and gave her a shoulder bump with a grin. “I would do it, too, so you wouldn’t even have to lie.”
Carrie loved both her cousins, but she didn’t have anything to do with their mother. It was a reciprocated decision.
“Who are you texting so frantically over there?” David asked. He was sitting next to me and leaned over nosily.
My thumbs moved rapidly. “My photographer, Tori; three days back and I’m already getting flooded with calls.”
David snickered. “You’re like UVA’s own Veronica Mars.”
With one last click I set my phone down with a small grin. “She had such a cool name. I should have spent more time on mine.”
“Spent more time on your what?”
My spine stiffened, my heart stuttered, and my stomach flipped as Evan sat down across from me. He was in his work clothes again, minus his jacket and tie, and he was staring at me attentively over his tray of food. Carrie and David gazed at the both of us circumspectly. I gave him a glare before focusing on my food…not that I was all that hungry any longer.
“Shaw changed her name a few years ago.”
My gaze shot to David in infuriated shock for daring to spill my private information, especially to this limp dick…and I was praying hard for that wish to come true.
He grimaced but his expression didn’t look repentant enough for me. “Sorry…it’s kind of cool that you got to pick your own name.”
Continuing to stare at me fixedly Evan’s brows rose. “You changed your name?”
Before I could help myself I retorted. “Yeah, and I only wish I could erase you as easily.”
His face contorted faintly but I thought I saw a glint of deference there. “I wish I could erase whatever I did wrong.”
A pang struck my heart. Me too.
“Hey babe.” Nic sat down next to Carrie giving her a deep kiss. Nic wasn’t planning to pursue his graduate degree but he hit the campus at lunch hour just to see Carrie.
The pain in my chest worsened witnessing their affection and I looked back down at my pasta salad. How did other people get so lucky? Carrie deserved it though and I hated the resentment that was stabbing at me wishing for things that were stupid.
“How do the new courses look this term?” Nic asked.
“They look like they’re going to be okay.” Carrie replied slowly.
I just knew her anxious gaze was going back and forth between me and Evan.
“Mine are going to be a complete boregasm.” David exhaled gloomily. “I think I’m going to drop out and become a bull rider.”
“I thought you were majoring in that already.” I mutter halfheartedly. The feel of Evan’s gaze was like a fifty pound weight.
David snorted out the water he’d just drunk. “I’m not sure if I should call you a bitch or agree heartily.”
“If David’s riding bulls how can he be riding you, Shaw?” Evan asked.
Shit! I’d forgotten I’d told Evan I was sleeping with David. Well, I wasn’t talking to him so it’s not like I had to explain. I forced down a bite of my pasta.
The silence lasted for about five seconds before David broke it. “I’m bi.”
I glanced at David with a frown but he was grinning like he had no problem throwing himself under the bus of questionable sexuality.
“Yeah…right?” Evan drawled low and slow, and with noticeable disbelief.
Whatever…I didn’t care what he thought.
Silence once again settled over the table.
Evan broke it this time. “I can’t get over the interesting detail that Shaw changed her name.”
“Evan, don’t push it.” Nic’s tone held a warning.
I had been all set to ignore him completely, but the emotions inside were too difficult to shut down.
Standing I slammed my palms on the table and stared at him with fierce anger and ignominy. “You want to know why I changed my name. The state named me Patty McDonald.” I snorted. “I don’t know if someone thought they were being fucking humorous or ironic, but all they did was make certain I never forgot where I came from. They might as well named me Debbie Dumper, or Shitty Crapper.” Our gazes were locked in combat. I just didn’t know what his fight was.
David’s hand touched mine. “Shaw…”
Evan cut him off with a growl. “I would love to find whoever did that and beat the stupid out of them, but the name they gave you doesn’t define you, Shaw.”
I laughed harshly. “Does Slutty Shaw…or how about STD Shaw…or my favorite, Take it till she’s raw Shaw? Monikers that rhyme are the best, don’t you think?”
The skin on Evan’s face tightened with every label I spit out. He shot to his feet and leaned forward across the table. “I think the people that called you those names are a waste of brain cells, or a single second of your consideration. You’re a thousand times better than any of them.”
I didn’t know how to process his words; they constricted my chest, but at the same time they made me want to slap him. Why would he say them but use me the way he had? Did he think I was so dim-witted I’d fall for his shit a second time? I might have fallen into the same trap as I had in high school, but I never did it with the same person twice.
“Words are so easy to say, but its actions that speak louder.” I sneered.
“That’s why I’m still here, Shaw; putting up with your hate when I could have easily said the hell with it and walked away.” He gritted out, eyes blazing into me.
My gaze was equally hot as I glared back at him. “You’re not getting the rest of those twenty-nine days from me if that’s why you’re sticking around.”
His lips thinned. “That’s not why I’m here, but I’m not going to lie…I want you… “ His amber gaze burned me in a different way and I couldn’t control the reaction of my body. My breasts went heavy and tingled, and my sex throbbed. “But you’re body isn’t all I want.”
I could feel everyone at the table, and surrounding tables, staring at the both of us like we were a live train wreck, but all my focus was on him and the arousal coursing like wildfire through me. It had been kindled when he’d first sat down, and that had been bad enough, but these flames were too much for me to handle. Hating that he still affected me, and unable to deal with it I grabbed my pack and turned to leave.
“I didn’t
take you for a coward, Shaw.” He growled softly.
I stopped mechanically.
“Evan, please stop.” Carrie pleaded.
Twisting to face him I gritted out through my pain. “I’m not being a coward. You’re just not worth my time.” Spinning, I stomped off.
∞ ∞ ∞
Fall course had been in session for two weeks and Evan ate with us again the next Monday and Wednesday. I was ready to call Dan and ask him if he knew his employee was playing hooky to hassle me. However, Evan had mentioned in the midst of his hassling that he was taking two graduate classes while still continuing to work, so Dan probably knew.
During the second week I paid zero attention to Evan. He would try to draw me into conversations but I wouldn’t bite. I would have to bite my tongue sometimes to stop myself, but I was able to refrain. Skipping the lunches I knew he would be at was an option but his coward comment hit me in my pride. He wasn’t going to know that I cared enough to want to avoid him…even though being in his presence was exceedingly painful. His concentrated stares weren’t helping either.
I didn’t understand his persistence, he’d already bagged me. Was his ego so big that he wanted to be the one to walk away?
Carrie hadn’t given up trying to get me to go out with her on the weekends to spend time with her friends, and now that Sam was here I had the two of them to contend with, but I was back to declining and using work as an excuse. They hadn’t been the ones playing me, but my defenses were up again and it was hard to lower them for anyone right now when I felt like an open wound.
We were now in our third week of the term and I was sitting at one of the outside cafeteria tables fortifying myself for another encounter with Evan. I was getting out of my Monday and Wednesday classes sooner than the others so I was always here ahead of everyone.
“Well, if it isn’t Suck you dry Shaw.”
Stiffening, I blew out a tired and annoyed sighed. Hot Damn…Ford was here to put the cherry on top of my suckable life. He was like a snake, ready to strike with malicious pleasure. Turning my head I saw that he wasn’t alone either. Five wastes of space were with him; two guys who’d harassed me before, and another guy and two girls I’d never seen before, but if they were with ford then they weren’t anyone I wanted to know.
I yawned. “I bet it took you all summer to come up with that new moniker, and from the red in your eyes you popped a few blood vessels in the process. You should really treat your brain cells better, Ford; you only have so many.”
“Always the smart-mouthed bitch.” He jeered.
I forced out a laugh I wasn’t feeling. On the whole, I could swap insults with Ford and it didn’t overly bother me, but I wasn’t in the mood. “If I got smart with you, you wouldn’t even know it.”
Ford’s jaw tightened. Normally, he sent his lackey’s after me because he knew I would decimate him verbally and he didn’t like that. I wonder what had him pulling his brave panties on today?
“Ford, who is this…person?”
My gaze flickered to the blonde female who’d stepped up next to Ford and was looking me up and down with distaste.
“Just a girl that used to come around to scratch an itch. The house takes care of her now.” Ford gave me a mocking look.
I shook my head at his banality; same old-same old. “That’s all I’d get from you…an itch that would take penicillin to cure. If this girls been with you I’m sure she can attest to that.” She brought herself in play so she had to suffer the consequences.
The blonde gaped and then glared, sticking her nose up in the air. “Oh…she’s one of those girls.”
I showed my teeth so it resembled a grin. “If you mean smart with ten times the intellect as all five of you put together…then yes, I’m one of those girls. The smartest thing to come out of your mouth was probably some guy’s dick.”
She gasped. “You’re the slut, not me.”
I rolled my eyes and looked back at Ford. “This is tedious, Ford; why are you boring me with your presence? Please tell me you’ve discovered something significant.” I was so ready to end this…thing going on between us.
Ford’s face was red with rising fury. He always started this thinking he could get to me, but when he realized he couldn’t he got pissed. I’d always been snappy on the comebacks and give off a veneer of impassiveness, but it had taken me awhile to truly not care what he and others said about me.
He took a step toward me and it had me stiffening instinctively because I didn’t want the asshole anywhere near me.
He jeered down into my face. “I heard some rumors that you were getting around again and proclaiming it loudly at a party.” My gut rolled knowing he was referring to my screaming breakdown with Evan at David’s party. My expression must have revealed something of what I was feeling because Ford’s sneer got smug. “So I thought I’d come over and introduce the new guy to you incase you wanted to record him into your Big book of Fucks.”
Why this guy felt the consuming need to make my life hell I’ll never know, but he took it seriously.
“Hey, fuckhead.” All our heads turned towards the person…Evan…who was storming our way with a ferocious frown. “What the hell are you saying to her?”
My eyebrows rose at his fierceness, and I didn’t want to acknowledge the warmth spreading through me at the sight of him.
Ford gave Evan a nod like they were old friends and the warmth spreading through me went cold. “Hey, I remember you from last year. You must have taken my advice and tagged Shaw. I told you she was wild.” His beady snake eyes met mine as he smirked. “Don’t tell me you’re still banging her with how used her pussy is, but she probably makes up for it with her mouth. She does give a good blow job.”
The cold went glacial. It made me sick whenever I thought about what I’d done with Ford. How had I ever fallen for this guys shit…for either of their shit? God, I was so stupid.
My self-condemnation was interrupted when Evan’s fist met Ford’s face sending him flying backwards into his posse. Screams were let loose; some by the two girls with them and some by others in the vicinity. I was stunned into immobility.
Evan took a stance right in front of me, and I stared at the back of his head in shock as he barked threateningly. “I remember telling you that you needed to watch what you say about Shaw, Shit-for-Brains.”
CHAPTER TWELVE
EVAN
My blood was hot and racing furiously through my veins. This was one of the sons of bitches that had been lying about Shaw making her life hell. Not only had she had to deal with that bullshit in high school but they were still hounding her in college. This cocksucker had pissed me off last time saying what he had about Shaw, and I’d barely known her then. Now he was going to be lucky if I let him keep his teeth.
“What the fuck, dude.” One of the assbags who’d gone down with Shit-for-Brains yelled.
The two who hadn’t gone down came at me and I welcomed it. My frustration from when Shaw had walked out on me, and not getting anywhere with her in the past weeks, had reached its peak at finding these fuckers harassing her. Walking up I’d recognized the one guy straight away and the scene was something I’d witnesses many time in high school; the popular kids surrounding an outcast just for the purpose of ripping them apart.
I swung my leg out and kicked the first dickhead coming at me in the nuts…no one ever accused me of being a clean fighter…sending him to the ground instantaneously, and then I blocked the second dipshits right hook and followed up with one of my own. He went down as well; nose bleeding and dazed.
My knuckles felt the impact, but the pain felt good and made me want to keep hitting, so when assbags came at me after untangling himself from the ground I stepped forward to meet him. He was average weight and height, with no real muscle. All of them were. And although I’d had to quit lacrosse and was working behind a desk for months I’d continued exorcising regularly.
“Give me what you got, assbags.” I bared my teeth and wa
ved him forward.
He went for a head charge…not a fighter this one unfortunately. I could have grabbed his head and kneed him in the face, but then I wouldn’t have been able to use my fists. So instead, I braced myself for his charge, put him in a headlock, and began pummeling him in the kidneys.
“Don’t.” Punch. “Ever.” Punch. “Bother.” Punch. “Her.” Punch. “Again.”
Suddenly Nic was standing in front of me. “Okay, Vin Diesel. Time to let him go before security gets here.”
I let go and assbags dropped to the ground moaning…the pansy ass. Breathing heavily, mostly from anger and adrenaline, I turned looking for Shaw and saw her standing a few feet away staring at me in flushed astonishment. Carrie, Samantha and David stood on either side of her with similar expressions.
Striding over I scrutinized her in concern. “Are you okay?”
She blinked. “Uh…Peachy.”
I blew out deep exhale at her utterly Shaw response.
“I’m going to kick your ass, asshole.”
I spun to discover that Shit for Brains had finally made it to his feet. Good, because I wanted to send him right back to the ground. His friends were getting slowly to their feet as well.
Nic’s hand on my shoulder stopped me from wading in. “Wrong time and place, brother.”
But then Shit for Brains made the mistake of turning his attention to Shaw. “And you, trailer slut, I’m going to make you regret you where ever born.”
I slung off Nic’s hand ready to rearrange his face when Shaw’s laugh halted me. “Oh my, god. You must have been born ass first.” She was gazing at the dude with a TSTL sneer and cold, slash-your-throat eyes. “Ford, when you came up to me today I had high hopes that you’d finally figured it out, but it’s like teaching a horse to pick his nose; it can’t be done.”
This was the fuck David said gave Shaw the hardest time in school? I wanted so badly to continue my fists meets face. She took a step closer but I flung out my arm halting any further progress. There was no way I was letting her near the fucktard. Her mouth tightened, and while she gave me a brief narrow-eyed glance…that had my blood running even hotter…she heeded me. Good thing, because I would have taken physical measures and things might have gotten dicey.