by Lia Lee
“Survives?” He snorted. “As if survival in any environment requires a low IQ, dirty clothing, and a penchant for rude speech patterns?”
“That’s not fair.” Maddie realized she had underestimated how upset he was about her comments. “I never said anything like that.”
“No. But I can’t help but wonder if you harbor doubts that I will ever be able to make this work.” He pulled away from her and started pacing.
“Well, can you?” Maddie shrugged. “So far, we have no clue how to make your mother leave us alone. I haven’t even been in one place long enough to go to a freaking doctor. What? Am I just going to have this baby on the run somewhere? Maybe we’ll stop over one night in a hotel and just have a kid and then take off the next day so your mother won’t kill it?”
He made a noise that sounded like a growl in the back of his throat. “I’m working on a few things. All right?”
“What? Help me understand so I can feel less worried about it.”
“It wouldn’t do any good to tell you unless I’m sure it will work. I’ve asked Vladimir to look into a few options. From there I will do whatever it takes. And as for a doctor, we’ll talk to your aunt and arrange to have you seen here.”
“Doctors don’t make house calls,” she said wryly.
“I bet there’s one who will for the right price.” He gestured to the empty space around them. “Considering the remoteness of this area, I imagine there is more than one patient that can’t make it back into whatever town actually has a clinic.”
“Or maybe I can just see the vet,” she said sarcastically. “He’s definitely willing to make a barn call.”
***
HER SASSY TONE didn’t irritate him for some reason. He was starting to realize that her sarcasm was more defensive than anything else. Maddie was scared. She had every reason to be. They were two near strangers having a baby. And his insane family was chasing them all over the world because of an idiotic desire to cling to a government that no longer existed.
“Come here, Maddie.”
His tone brooked no argument, and when he opened his arms, she came willingly into his embrace. She huddled there with her cheek against his chest. He gently rubbed her back and smoothed her hair. Kissing her softly on the forehead, he swore silently that he would keep her safe. He wasn’t going to let his family rule their lives. He was going to make sure that Maddie had the chance to raise their child—with his help if she wanted it—away from any mad plans his mother might have.
As he stood there on the porch and listened to the crickets chirp, he had the odd thought that he wanted to hold her like this for the rest of his life. It was very reminiscent of the emotions he’d felt the other night while making love to her.
“I’ve never much thought of monogamy,” he said out loud.
She sighed. “You’re not really supposed to tell a woman that, you know. It doesn’t breed trust.”
“I can imagine, but what I was trying to say was that I had never considered monogamy because I had never met a woman that I couldn’t live without.” He struggled to find words that wouldn’t sound offensive and realized there really weren’t any. “Women always seemed like such a trial. They whined and moaned and wanted things. Generally they could be bought for the price of a few baubles, and they were never very interesting to converse with.”
“Good God!” she muttered. “Where were you getting your dates from?”
“I suppose they were women that were approved and suggested by my family.”
“No wonder they were duds.” Maddie sounded almost amused now. She pulled back just enough to gaze up at him. In the light spilling onto the porch from the kitchen window, her eyes had a mischievous glint. “I bet they were all rich, spoiled, entitled, and probably cold as fish in bed.”
“Perhaps.” He didn’t like talking about his previous liaisons for multiple reasons. “I didn’t sleep with them. They weren’t that sort of date.”
“Meaning they were broodmares,” Maddie retorted.
It was an apt description, and he wouldn’t deny it. “That is certainly true in most cases.”
“Then I don’t wonder that they weren’t suitable. I’m sure you could have married them. The two of you would have likely learned to get along. You probably would have been near strangers most of the time. Sex would have been for procreation, and you would have found fulfillment in something other than your relationship. It happens.” Maddie sighed and stared up at the blanket of stars beginning to appear in the night sky. “In fact, it happens all the time. My sisters are sort of like that.”
***
MADDIE THOUGHT ABOUT just how much her sisters resembled his description. They were both whiney, entitled, spoiled, and could be bought for a diamond tennis bracelet. They’d married money, and they had thought it would make them happy. Unfortunately, neither of them were particularly satisfied in their marriages. Her middle sister had already had several affairs, but since her husband liked to sleep around too, neither of them seemed to care. And her older sister—well, Maddie didn’t like to think about that fiasco.
“You’ve spoken about your sisters more than once,” Alex reminded her. “I seem to recall that your older sister and her husband had something to do with you leaving Texas. Is that what happened?”
“You mean, was my brother-in-law unable to keep his dick in his pants?” She knew she was being crass, but she really didn’t care. “That would be correct.”
“And your sister blamed you?”
“That wild streak you’re so fond of has been the bane of my family’s existence.” She stepped away from his embrace and wrapped her arms around her midsection. “I’ve lost track of how many times they’ve told me off for doing something they thought was offensive. Especially my older sister. She was the prim and proper one. I swear I wanted to shove Miss Manners’ Guidebook to Young Lady’s Behavior up her ass. Although, considering the fact that Jacey already acts like she has a stick shoved up her ass, the big book probably wouldn’t have even made a difference.”
“Wow.” Alex raised his eyebrows. “That’s a lot of bitterness.”
“Yeah, well, getting accused of sleeping with my sleazebag brother-in-law was not one of my finer moments.” In fact, Maddie was getting pissed all over again just thinking about it. “The guy came onto me at a club. Me! I was doing my level best to fend off his ham handed groping, and Jacey walks into the club and accuses me of trying to seduce him! As if I would. The guy is ugly, and he has dog breath.”
Now Alex was laughing. He tugged her back into his embrace. She really wasn’t in a mood to be snuggly right now, but something about Alex disarmed her. Within seconds she was huddled against his chest and sighing like a contented kitten.
“I shouldn’t like you this much,” she told him. “It’s bad.”
“And I wish I could make you believe how very much I like you,” he whispered in her ear. “But I’m not sure you’re ready to hear that yet.”
She caught her breath. He liked her how much? “Don’t be so sure about that.”
“Maddie, we have so much baggage between the two of us right now that I’m not sure either of us are ready to make big decisions about the future.” He gently brushed his hand over her belly. “All I know is that you’re the mother of my child and I want to keep you safe and happy. In every way possible.”
She squirmed in his hold until she was facing him. She touched his cheeks with her fingertips. “Then maybe you’d better take me upstairs and make sure I’m satisfied.”
“As you wish.”
Chapter Nineteen
There was something surreal for Maddie about being in her childhood bed with Alex. The double bed with the overstuffed, old fashioned mattress and squeaky springs was miniscule compared to the luxurious accommodations in Alex’s vacation home. Still, there was something very intimate about being so close to him in such close quarters.
She lay on her back. She was naked. The only light in the room came fr
om the floodlights down at the barn. The orange glow seeped through the filmy white curtains and allowed her to see just the basics of Alex’s expression.
He was lying on his side next to her. The palm of his hand rested on her belly. The way he looked at her made her shiver in anticipation. Then he lowered his head to her breast and gently traced the outline of her nipple with his tongue. Pleasure thrummed in her body, and she clenched her hands in the sheets in order to lie still.
The sensation of his mouth on her breast grew more intense. He sucked hard, taking as much of her flesh into his mouth as he could. His other hand moved up her body and cupped the fullness of her other breast. She’d noticed of late that her nipples were getting more and more sensitive. It felt so good when Alex touched her. He licked and sucked at her breasts before using his fingertips to trace tiny circles around her hardened nipples. She arched her back and pressed herself closer to him.
One of his hands slid down her belly. He buried his fingers in the coarse hair between her legs and gave a gentle tug. She moaned and whimpered. There was an ache at her core, and she knew only one thing that would satisfy her.
“Please,” she begged. “I need you so badly, Alex.”
He made no move to cover her body with his. Instead, he gently spread her sex with his fingers and began to stroke her with slow, deliberate movements of his fingers. Each time he passed her clit she shuddered with need. One tiny brush of his fingers, and she would come. She knew it. Then he began to circle the sensitive nub. She felt the skin swell as the blood rushed to her groin. The sensations got stronger and stronger with each pass. Soon she was pushing her hips down into the mattress in an effort to make him touch her clit. She needed the direct pressure and the stimulation. She needed to climax so very badly.
“You want this badly, don’t you, sweetheart?” he crooned in her ear.
She could barely form the word. “Yes!”
“My cock is so hard for you. I’m going to sink that shaft deep inside you, and I’m going to come. Do you want that?”
***
HIS EROTIC WORDS painted a picture that made him just as desperate as they did her. Alex was almost insensible with the need to sink inside Maddie’s pussy. She was incredibly wet. Each time he touched her, just the sound of his fingers sliding through her slick folds was enough to entice him away from his self control. He placed his index finger atop the taut opening of her sex. He felt her quiver. Gently slipping his index finger into her channel, he rotated his hand until she was clenching against his intrusion so tightly that he could barely move his finger. The friction was delightful. He couldn’t wait to feel that intense sensation against the skin of his cock.
Alex loved being stretched out beside her. He enjoyed the feel of all her silky skin pressed against his. As he rolled to cover her body with his, he nestled his way between her legs. Her thighs parted to welcome him, and the tip of his cock nudged her opening. She soaked him almost instantly in her juices. Alex groaned as he savored the heat of her. He wouldn’t be able to take much more of this, but he wanted it to last as long as possible.
As though she were too impatient to wait, Maddie lifted her legs and wrapped them snugly around his waist. The tip of his cock caught against her opening. She gasped, her eyes flying wide open as she gazed at him with something akin to desperation. He pushed in just a little, and she did the rest. Her legs tightened, and his long, thick shaft penetrated her in a single thrust that left them both moaning with ecstasy.
“That’s what I want,” she panted. “Fuck me, Alex!”
Her plea pushed him over the edge. Backing out as far as her legs would allow, he thrust back in. The rhythm grew fast and hard. Each stroke was a jarring thrust that left him slamming his cock into her body. She met him eagerly each time. Her hands settled on his shoulders, and she clawed him with her nails as she ground her clit against his cock.
“I’m so close!” They were the only coherent words she seemed able to speak.
He could feel that she was close. Her pussy grew hotter and even wetter. The friction was almost unbearable, and he thought he might die of the intensity. Then he suddenly cried out in agony. Her inner muscles melted around his shaft as she came hard and fast. The undulating muscular contractions pushed him over the edge, and he thrust deeply in order to spill his seed inside her body. It was so good. He’d never felt anything better.
He was panting and his arms were shaking as he struggled to hold his own weight. Rolling quickly to one side, he groped for the covers and pulled a sheet over the quickly cooling sweat on their bodies.
She sighed and nuzzled his chest. “How is it that every single time with you is better than the last? That shouldn’t even be possible. At some point the pleasure would have to level out, right?”
He snorted. “You’re over thinking this.”
“Am I?”
“Yes.” He sniffed the warm floral scent of her hair and reveled in the feeling he got just from holding her. “This isn’t about the physical. Just screwing someone doesn’t give you the kind of feelings I have right now.”
“I don’t get it.”
He pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Then go to sleep, my love, and we’ll puzzle it through some more in the morning.”
***
MADDIE COULDN’T SLEEP. Her brain was too busy trying to figure out what the man was trying to say without actually coming right out and saying it. Just screwing someone? Was he alluding to the fact that he felt like there was more than just a physical relationship between the two of them? That was rather exciting and frightening all at the same time.
Alex’s breathing was deep and even. He was obviously asleep. She carefully extracted herself from his embrace and slipped from the bed. The floor was cold. A shiver made her dance a bit as she reached for one of the quilts hanging on the rack in the corner. She wrapped the thick fabric around her body and then carefully eased her way out of the bedroom.
There was no noise in the upstairs hallway, but she could see a light glowing downstairs. Maddie padded her way down the creaky old steps. She carefully avoided the noisiest spots in her bare feet. When she made it to the living room, she saw Aunt Lori curled up in a chair, reading.
Aunt Lori looked up from her book. “Are you hungry? I can remember when your mother was pregnant with you, she ate all night and all day as if she was about to starve to death.”
“I could eat,” Maddie admitted. She watched her aunt get up and head for the kitchen. “Nobody ever talks about my mom.”
“She’s been gone a long time.” Aunt Lori pulled some hot chocolate mix from the pantry and started some water on the stove to boil. Then she put a plate of cookies on the table and gestured that Maddie should sit. “Sometimes I think we don’t talk about people who are gone simply because it hurts too much to remember. But that’s not fair to the ones left behind. I’m sorry for that.”
“Sometimes Daddy seems angry at Mama,” Maddie said as she settled in a chair at the table.
Aunt Lori poured a good measure of boiling water into two mugs and mixed in the cocoa powder. She began stirring each one. Her expression was thoughtful. Aunt Lori was Maddie’s father’s younger sister, but growing up she had been Maddie’s Mama’s best friend too. Sometimes Maddie forgot that Aunt Lori missed Mama as much as Maddie did.
“Why did she do it? Maddie whispered. “I’ve never understood. Why would she leave us like that?”
“Your mother wasn’t well, sweetie,” Aunt Lori murmured. She set the hot chocolate in front of Maddie. “Depression doesn’t make sense. When a person is depressed, the most horrible things become reasonable. And sometimes people in that situation truly believe that taking their life is for the best.”
“I don’t want to be like that,” Maddie whispered. “Jacey used to say that Mama killed herself to get away from Daddy, but I don’t believe that.”
“Your older sister is a foolish girl sometimes,” Aunt Lori agreed.
***
ALEX PR
ESSED HIS back against the wall and tried to process what he was hearing. So Maddie’s mother was dead by her own hand. Worse, the girls somehow feared that their mother had decided to kill herself because she was unhappy with their father? Talk about a tragedy!
He scooted a little closer to the opening of the kitchen door. He’d come through the dining room where the darkness hid him from the two women sitting together in the kitchen’s warm glow. He knew he should make his presence known, but he was afraid to do so.
“Your mother loved your father,” Lori told Maddie. “Don’t ever believe otherwise.”
Maddie had both of her hands pressed against her mug as if she were trying to soak up the heat. “How did she know?”
Lori gently reached over and touched Maddie’s shoulder. “Are you asking because you wish you had a tried and true way to figure out if you’re in love with Alex?”
“Sometimes I think there’s more between us,” Maddie explained. “I think that I might love him, or that he might love me. The chemistry is certainly there, but how do I know it’s the right decision? I don’t want to decide something just because of this baby. That would be so wrong. What if I wind up like Mama? I don’t want to do that to my kids!”
“You’ll know, Maddie. I promise.” Lori sat back in her chair and heaved a giant sigh. “Alex is a good man. He has a lot on his plate. I cannot even begin to imagine how he deals with that family situation he has going on. And honestly, any woman might look at that and think she didn’t want a part of it. But loving someone isn’t just about the good times. It’s about the tough times too. So maybe all of this is just a test to see if the two of you can work together.”
Alex leaned closer, peering at Maddie and trying to decipher her expression. He felt as if he were violating her privacy, eavesdropping like this. But the chances that she would have told him all of this on her own were very slim. Somehow he needed to make her realize that she and the baby were all that mattered to him.