by Candy Crum
“Valid point,” I said.
I exhaled deeply. There it was. My answer. All my answers for everything. Right in front of me. It was unbelievable to me. How convenient…
“You wouldn’t happen to know a Devon Andrews, would you?” I asked.
“I do!” he said, laughing. “He’s a great guy. I trained him for a while when he was getting ready to go through the academy. Why do you ask?”
“I asked him for help. I’m lost.”
“Yes. Clearly,” he said with a smile.
“Oh, hush” I said. “I meant that this is new. I asked him for help, but he said that he couldn’t give me the help that I needed because that would basically mean outing one of the people whose secret he knows. He didn’t want to betray anyone. He told me to start going to the gym, but I was a regular at another one already, so he told me to join this one specifically. That it would help my rage and my ability to control my hunger, even though I have no idea what I hunger for, other than sex. That didn’t seem like a real thing to be craving, but I was wrong there, it seems. I guess he was helping me without screwing you over.” What a smart ass. I meant that in an endearing way.
“I think you’re right, but back up a moment. Did you actually say that you had no idea what you hunger for?” he asked.
I nodded. “I wasn’t lying when I said this is all new. I’ve read enough and watched enough TV to believe that all supernatural creatures have an increased libido. I had no reason to believe that was actually my food choice instead of something I just wanted.”
“Well, succubi aren’t made. They’re born. How did you go your whole life not knowing? Didn’t you kill or nearly kill someone when you were a teenager? First time jitters getting the best of you and all that?”
“Kill? God, no. I’ve always had a high sex drive, I suppose, but it wasn’t anything crazy. I was a bit older when I lost my virginity and puberty was a breeze compared to what I’m going through right now. A few days ago, I died. When I magically woke up from that, everything was different,” I said.
“How long has that been?” he asked.
“About a week. Honestly, I can’t remember down to the day. Everything is blurring together at this point.”
“Jesus. You really are young. How have you been controlling yourself during feeding? I’ve never met anyone that was so young that had so much control.”
“Do succubi feed by drinking blood, too?” I asked, knowing better. If what little lore that I knew about succubi was correct, then they fed sexually and that was it.
“No,” he said. “In fact, they don’t drink blood at all.”
“Then, as suspected, no. I haven’t been feeding at all. I’m completely celibate.”
“How are you not ravenous and killing people by now? I have a lot of self-control, but a few days? No way. You mentioned blood. Have you been drinking it?” he asked.
“When I got into some trouble, it healed me. And it helps curb cravings and irritability,” I said. “Andrews got me some blood bags and it’s been helping a bit.”
“A bit? Tell me, are you tired?” he asked.
“Exhausted,” I replied.
“You said that you have anger management issues. I smell vapor rub. Are you using it to keep yourself from smelling the humans? How do you feel being in here around all these gorgeous people? They are strong and naturally have high sex drives because of their fitness level. They would sustain you beautifully. They even smell like sex, but you wouldn’t know that because you don’t know what sex truly smells like and you’re nose-blinding yourself with the scent of that shit under your nose. I have a better question for you. How do you feel right now, standing next to me? Knowing that I can’t be killed easily, so your powers won’t do much against me… Knowing that I’m stronger than anyone in here… Knowing that I could take you and sustain you… That I could make the pain stop and give you what you need… How are you handling that?”
I’d done well to ignore his beautiful darkness. Dark hair. Dark brown eyes. Tanned skin. Those very nicely toned, thick arms. Rounded chest and flat abdomen. I couldn’t ignore it then as he drew attention to himself. I found myself licking my lips as my eyes wandered over his body. My chest began rising and falling very quickly with every ragged breath. I wanted to touch him. I wanted to lick him, taste him.
“That was low,” I said, my voice low and filled with need.
“I only did it to prove that you don’t have control at all. You need to be shown. One tiny mistake and you’re going to kill someone. What happens if you go on a date or if you get weak and decide to have sex with someone? You’ll kill them. You need to learn what to do,” he said. “You need to learn to feed. Your weakness will only get worse. You can’t afford to keep pushing it away.”
“You don’t know me,” I said. “I’ve kept it at bay all these years. There’s no reason why I can’t now. I’m not you. Maybe I’m different altogether. Who’s to say that I have to be like all the others?”
He looked at me like I was the biggest idiot he’d ever seen.
“Science! Science says it! Granted, we don’t have a lot of people studying us often, but what we do know about the various species of the supernatural world is that you must feed to survive! Otherwise you go crazy. Besides, if you’re relying on your half-human side to protect you, don’t. All succubi and incubi are half-human and they all have to have sex to survive.”
His passion over it all was only making my desire worse. I knew that he was right, but my resistance to everything was only driving me crazy. I wanted to talk to him more, but I wanted it to be calm. I decided to get in the shower. The coldness did little to help the last time, but I hoped that I’d be able to bring the arousal down to a tolerable level.
I stormed off and went into the shower room, locking the door behind me. I turned on the water and stripped off my clothes. Before I got in, I found myself hesitating. I took a deep breath, the dark side of me in total control at that moment as I made my way back over and unlocked the door before heading back to the shower. I got in and set the water as cold as it would go.
It was a shock to my body, but not nearly enough to stop my need. I began shivering hard as I closed my eyes, focusing on the coldness and trying will the desire to go away.
“This will help nothing.”
I jumped when I heard Cass’ voice beside me. I turned to see him reaching in and turning the water to hot.
“What are you doing in here?” I asked.
His eyes narrowed a bit. “After you stormed off, I went in the office to get some work done. I heard the door slam. I heard it lock. Then… I heard it unlock. You never came out, though. Was that not a silent invite?”
It wasn’t an invite, but an opportunity. I was curious to see what would happen. Once he was there, standing next to me while I was completely naked and in what was then a very hot shower, it was absolutely an invite.
“Take it however you want,” I said.
He smiled before pulling his shirt over his head. His chest was just as perfect as I’d imagined it to be. As he continued to undress, I realized that the rest of him was just as beautiful. My mind was liquid at that point. I couldn’t think about anything. The only thing that kept racing through my mind was the pain that I was in.
Cass climbed in the shower with me and I took a step back, soon finding the wall behind me.
“How are you feeling?” he asked.
My jaw opened, but words were lost. All I could do was stare at his beautiful face.
“You’re nervous,” he said. “You don’t need to be. I’m going to help you. I don’t say this next thing to sound like a pompous ass. I mean every word. You’re about to feel like a brand-new woman. You’re about to realize who you truly are and what you can do. I’m going to teach you.”
“I feel like I’m having sex for the first time,” I mumbled. “This is embarrassing.”
“Don’t be embarrassed. That’s kind of a good way to put it. It really is like t
hat. This is the first time you’ll have sex as what you are. Place your hand on my chest.”
I did as his asked and I felt the heat almost pulsing against my hand.
“Do you feel that?” he asked.
I nodded.
“That is my life force. You’re able to feed on that, but only through sexual contact. It can be a kiss, a lick, or even just a brush of your hand across their skin if you are both aroused,” he said.
“Are you serious? How the hell would I be able to feed off that?”
“Every pore in your body is built for absorbing energy. If your victim, and I use that term loosely, is under your control and you’ve created a bond with them then you will be able to leech energy through their skin. From what I’ve been told, skin to skin isn’t the greatest. It doesn’t allow you to do much. Kissing and sex is the best way, but if you don’t know how to control it, you can take too much and kill them.”
“Oh, God,” I said. “I never want to hurt anyone.”
“That’s what I’m here for,” he said. “Now draw from me.”
He was direct and I could sense his strength. The combination turned me on, but I was still terrified.
“I-I don’t know how,” I said.
“Hmm. You’re still too scared. It’s overpowering your arousal somehow. I think I can fix that.”
At first, I thought that was a pretty cocky statement, but it was only a brief thought. I quickly found myself pinned against the wall, the hot water rushing over us both as one of his hands covered my mouth and his sharp teeth pierced my throat. I moaned loudly and I knew exactly why he’d made that choice. If not, I’d have screamed and alerted the entire building to the events happening in that shower room. His bite felt amazing. The pain and pleasure intertwining.
Within a few short moments, I was panting and screaming against the hand covering my mouth. He bit into me again and I felt the darkness taking hold. The tips of the fingers on his free hand began wandering up my thigh, pressing on the inside to urge me to part them. Without hesitation, I acquiesced as he continued his exploration.
One of his fingers came to rest at my entrance and I pressed my hips forward, not-so-silently begging him to continue. Cass pulled his mouth away and kissed me hard, the taste of him and my blood mixing on my tongue. He pressed one of his large fingers deep inside of me, forcing me to take a sharp intake of breath at the intense pleasure. As I did, my eyes opened and I could see the life force that he’d spoken of. I could see it emanating from him like an aura and when I inhaled, I could taste it. It was even more powerful than the taste of blood.
There it was. What I’d so badly needed. What I’d been craving.
He kissed me again as he thrust another finger inside me, his strength and skill bringing me closer and closer to climax.
“You have to be careful when you climax. You could lose control with a human. They will always feed you better than any supernatural, but we are built tougher and can take more punishment,” he said.
I moaned. At that moment, I wanted to punish him. I wanted to tie him to my bed and take what I needed from him. I knew it was the darkness causing it, but those were the things that I desired most.
“Try not to scream,” he said. “When you come for me, I want you to feed from me. Your eyes are glowing red. I know you’re ready. I know you can see it. Pull my energy into you.”
I nodded, swallowing hard before rushing to try to catch my breath. He was driving me crazy, but I could tell that he was holding back on what he could do. He wanted me completely ravenous before he let me go. He wanted me to lose control, so I could learn how to regain it.
In an instant Cass removed his fingers before picking me up and spreading my legs around him. I nearly screamed with joy. My body was aching for him and I couldn’t take much more. I could feel the head of him pressing against me just before he sheathed himself inside me. It was rough and the intense pleasure rocketed through my entire body.
He was right. I could see the energy and I could feel it like the hum of electricity next to its source. His thrusts were hard and fast, each one bringing me closer and closer. My entire body began pulling at some of that energy, but it was slow. I understood why he said that simple touch wouldn’t do my hunger any justice, though it could work in a pinch to take the edge off.
I felt my orgasm building and I realized that no other had ever felt that powerful. It was going to be hard and possibly painful. I could feel every muscle inside me tightening around him, causing him to groan.
“Stop that, or you’ll make me get off, too,” he said.
I didn’t care. I let my body do what it wanted and I pulled him into a kiss. I could taste the pure sexual energy on my tongue and it drove me over the edge. My entire body flexed as I came, causing him to finish as well. My body began pulling his energy in and my hunger began to dissipate. After several moments, I began to come around. I pulled back from the kiss and leaned back against the wall, breathing hard.
“Jesus,” he said.
“What?” I asked. “Did I do bad?”
He was panting just as hard as I was.
“Not at all for a first time. You certainly have the delivering pleasure while dealing death thing down.”
“For a first time?” I asked.
“If I’d been human, I’d have died. You took a lot out of me, but that was to be expected given how deprived and hungry you were. Next time will be better,” he said. “Other than the control part, you were perfect.”
I smiled. “I don’t feel too terrible then. I can’t believe I just had sex with a stranger.”
He laughed as he put me down. “Get used to it. This is how you’re going to survive. Like I said, supernaturals aren’t going to help you much. You need humans to survive, but you can definitely get the essentials from us, especially if you’re starving.”
“How did you learn so much about us?” I asked.
I began washing up in the shower, my body still tingling from everything that had just happened. Cass rubbed my shoulders and back as I did. He was very sweet.
“I know an incubus. I’ve met several succubi and incubi over the years, but he was the only one that was actually cool. They are usually stuck up assholes. The women are far too dominant for my liking. They typically con their victims out of their money and force them to be sex slaves instead of allowing it to be mutual enjoyment. The men are just dicks. He was pretty awesome, though.”
“You actually know one?” I asked. “That’s amazing! I have so many questions. I need to know more! What was his name?”
“I’m sorry. I haven’t talked to him in years. I wouldn’t even know where to find him. If you ever come across an incubus named Tristan, though, he’s cool as hell. He’d answer anything you wanted to know.”
I swallowed hard. “Did… Did you just say Tristan?”
“Yeah,” he said. “Why?”
My jaw went slack as I stared in his eyes.
“My mom had no idea what my father was. She only knew what he told her and that wasn’t much. The only real bit of information that he gave her was his name,” I said.
Cass’ eyes widened. “You’ve gotta be shitting me.”
I shook my head. “No. That was the name that he gave her. Jet black hair, icy blue eyes.”
“Fuck. That’s him.”
Cass jumped out of the shower and quickly got dressed.
“What are you doing? What’s wrong?” I asked.
“Here’s the thing. The supernatural world doesn’t get romantically involved with humans. Every so often there is a moron that does, but they’re always screwed when they have to make the choice to turn them, if that is even an option, or let them grow old and die. That’s why we find immortal mates.”
“Okay?” I said. “I’m having a hard time deciding how any of that is relevant to the way you’re acting right now.”
“Succubi and incubi don’t blink an eye at multiple sex partners. They will have thousands upon thousands. Th
ey have children with humans, but they partner with one another. Humans are food and they turn to one another for true intimacy. They can be with as many humans as they like, but if a succubus or incubus ever lays with another immortal, that’s where the line is drawn. That’s cheating. There’s a lot of interspecies partnering as well. They partner with vampires, werewolves, or other beings. Still… they are nothing but faithful outside of food. All of that is relevant because Tristan and I bonded. We are friends, though we haven’t seen one another in a long time, and I just fucked his daughter. Big no-no.”
“You were helping me,” I said. “That is different.”
“No, it isn’t. You were looking for your dad? Well, he’s going to find you now. Succubi and incubi always reconnect with their offspring once their powers come in. You just used yours to feed for the first time. He will have sensed that,” he said.
“Ew. That’s disgusting,” I replied.
“Yeah, it kind of is. It doesn’t change the fact that it works that way. They can only sense it the first time, according to Tristan. Your father. Fuck! He’s going to kill me! That guy is scary. He’s very old.”
“I thought you said that he was nice!” I said, beginning to get worried about good ol’ Pops.
“I did! But he’s just as scary as he is cool! He’s not someone you want to piss off. I don’t think there’s any way of knowing that it was me that deflowered you. Only the scent, which you just washed away in the shower. That’s good, but don’t mention my name. Oh, shit. I’m freaking out a bit. Look… Please feel free to turn to me for help, but we are going to find someone else for you to practice on.”
My jaw dropped and my brows furrowed as anger set in. “I’m not some slut that’s going to be passed around.”
He rolled his eyes. “Please. I didn’t say that at all. First of all, a woman that sleeps around is not a slut. She is just as in control of her body as any man is. She has a right to be pleasured without fear of being ostracized. Secondly, you’re going to have to get used to the fact that you are what you are. You can’t help it, nor change it. You feed off sex. You’ll need multiple sex partners to stay satisfied. The only way for you to satisfy yourself on a single one is to kill them. Do you understand that? You’ll have to kill them to get full. Same as me. I’d have to drain someone completely to get full. You’re no more a killer than I am. Stop fighting yourself and stop trying to put yourself in a category that you don’t belong in.”