‘So now I’ve been holding you back all this time. Well fuck you very much. I’m out of here.’
Jason storms out of the lounge. I hear him banging and rummaging in the spare room. I’m in despair. I didn’t want to hurt him, I hadn’t intended that outburst at all – yet another fuck-up caused by my damn TBI. I didn’t want it to end like this. The truth is, I’m in two minds still. I need him in my life. But not like we are. More than anything I just wish we could start over. I don’t want him to be Jason my carer, who watches over me and judges me and thinks I need my nappy changing. I want him to be my boyfriend. A lover. But I don’t know how to explain that, or how we could ever recover that even if I could – real, natural affection has been absent from our relationship for so long.
Moments later he stands in the lounge doorway, a filled holdall over his shoulder. He glares at me and I just stand there and wait for him to say something. Anything. Will it be anger, regret or sorrow that he comes at me with? Will he plead to stay?
In the end he says nothing.
‘Just go!’ I shout, when the silence becomes unbearable.
He only hesitates for a second before he turns to leave.
Chapter Forty-Eight
‘This is good, Dani,’ Scholz said.
Dani frowned. ‘Good? What the hell is good about any of this?’
She sat back in the chair, arms folded, and stared across the desk. Scholz’s cheeks flushed ever so slightly at her challenging response.
‘Rightly or wrongly, Dean Harland was killed because of actions that I took,’ she said. ‘I’ve got to live with that knowledge, but more importantly I’ve got to live with what I saw.’
‘I understand that must be difficult b—’
‘I’ve got a damn stalker who may or may not be a killer, harassing me and—’
‘I—’
‘—and until the disciplinary investigation is over, my whole life is basically in limbo. I can’t move on at all, can I? For all I know in a few days’ or weeks’ time my entire career could well be over. What on earth am I supposed to do then?’
Scholz rubbed his hands together nervously. He looked just a little uncomfortable with Dani venting. It was quite unlike her to be so open in her therapy sessions, but today she just needed to get it all off her chest and had been talking pretty much non-stop for the best part of the hour session.
‘What I mean is—’
‘Sorry, but how exactly is any of this good?’ Dani asked again.
Now Scholz sat back in his seat and smiled.
‘Dani, your emotional responses… they’re… well, what do you think?’
Dani thought about that one for a moment. She thought about everything that had happened in the last few days. The murders. Harland. Jason coming back into her life – kind of. The trips to see Ben. Spending time with her nephew and niece.
She huffed.
‘You’re undoubtedly going through a very difficult time right now,’ Scholz said, ‘but to me, what I see is that you resuming the role of the old Dani – detective, aunt, sister – has actually brought a lot of the old you back. Angry outbursts aside, perhaps. I must say in all of our sessions together I’ve never seen such an array of emotional responses from you.’
Dani huffed again. ‘Anger. Fear. Bitterness. Resentment. Great. I’m really chuffed at how things are turning out for me.’
‘Don’t be so hard on yourself. Sadness, which I’m sensing a great deal of, is a very important emotion too. And I also sensed pride, even joy, when you were talking about Harry and Chloe earlier.’
‘So what are you saying? I should feel like I’m in a good place now? The way I see it, my drugged-up isolation was a walk in the park compared to the last few days.’
‘I’m saying you’re still recovering from a very serious brain injury, and a very traumatic period in your life, but you’re making improvements in some critical aspects of your mental wellbeing all the time.’
‘Only some aspects?’
Scholz sighed and looked more serious again. ‘Well I can still sense that your morale and motivation is extremely low. Bordering on worryingly so. I’d certainly recommend not reducing your anti-depressant medication any further just yet. But, like you said, you’re having a very hard time at work. You have to make sure you’re making the most of the positives in your life right now. Friends. The children. Even… Jason.’
Dani tried her best to show no reaction to that one. She checked her watch and was glad to see there were only two minutes left. They both sat in silence for a few moments. Scholz continued to stare at her, studying her. The silence quickly grew uncomfortable. Dani checked her watch again.
‘I’ve got to go,’ she said.
She got up from the chair. Scholz stayed in his seat on the other side of the desk.
‘Good luck,’ he said. ‘I really mean that.’
‘Yeah. Today, I think I’m going to need it.’
* * *
Dani headed on foot the short distance across Colmore Row towards HQ. The conversation with Scholz had all but disappeared from her mind, and she wasn’t just feeling nervous, as she headed through the revolving doors at the main entrance; she felt like an absolute outsider. A week had passed since she’d been suspended from duty. She’d not spoken to McNair or Baxter or any other senior officer since then. Now she was back for her first formal disciplinary meeting with the West Midlands Police Professional Standards department.
That fact, at least, was a good first sign. The IOPC had the ability and discretion to carry out such investigations themselves, and certainly would for the most serious matters of police misconduct. The fact that the IOPC had passed the investigation back to Professional Standards at her own force was therefore an indication that they didn’t feel their clout was warranted.
Or was it just that the case against Dani was so cut and dried that they didn’t want to waste resources?
She’d been given the option of taking a colleague or other representative from the Police Federation into the meeting with her but chose not to. She had nothing to hide, and wouldn’t hold back. She’d tell whoever was there exactly what had happened the day Dean Harland lost his life.
She headed over to the reception desk, the moment feeling all too similar to her first day back on the force all of twelve days before. Except this time she didn’t recognise either of the two security guards on duty behind the front desk, nor did they recognise her.
She waited in the reception area, wondering who would come to fetch her this time, hoping that no one she knew would pass by and notice her there.
She should have known that wouldn’t happen.
After she’d been waiting for barely sixty seconds, DS Easton walked through the revolving doors from the outside, coffee cup in one hand, sandwich in the other. Dani was caught in two minds as to whether to look away, and hope he did the same. She didn’t. She was staring over at him as he caught her eye. He grimaced. At least that’s what Dani thought the look was, it certainly wasn’t a smile.
‘Hey,’ Dani said.
‘Dani,’ Easton said, taking two steps closer to her as he approached the security gates.
‘You’ve been ignoring my calls,’ Dani said.
Easton stopped and hovered. Dani could tell he was hugely uncomfortable.
‘I get it,’ Dani said. ‘McNair’s scared you off, right? Told you that if you talk to me, if you go anywhere near me you’ll be in the shit too.’
He didn’t say anything to that, just rubbed his neck nervously.
‘I’m not asking you to lie for me,’ Dani said. ‘I never would. Just tell them the truth.’
He checked his watch. ‘Sorry, I’ve really got to go.’
He turned and headed away.
Moments later Dani saw a frumpy woman coming towards her from the other side of the gates. Dani didn’t recognise her, but when the woman locked eyes with her she knew who she was. Dani got to her feet.
* * *
�
��Is there anything else you’d like to tell us about the events leading up to Dean Harland’s death?’ asked the frumpy woman, who it turned out was DCI Barlow from Professional Standards. Dani had never met her before, nor the fresh-faced man sat next to her in the small conference room, DS Sturridge.
‘No, I’ve told you everything,’ Dani said.
They’d already been in the room for more than an hour, and Dani was pleased with herself for remaining calm, professional and relaxed despite the barrage of questions and nitpicking that she’d already endured.
‘Are you absolutely sure, DI Stephens?’ Sturridge asked.
Dani locked eyes with him but tried her best not to glare.
‘Yes. I’m sure.’
Sturridge looked at Barlow. Barlow looked at Sturridge and gave a slight nod. Sturridge shuffled the papers in front of him.
‘Is there a problem?’ Dani asked, just about keeping her tone level.
‘DI Stephens, as you can probably imagine, we’ve spoken to a great deal of witnesses from last week,’ Barlow said. ‘After all, the foot chase took place in the early evening on busy streets.’
Barlow left the statement hanging, as though Dani was supposed to understand the point being made.
‘So? What are you trying to tell me?’ Dani said. ‘Are you implying my version of events differs from that of the witnesses you’ve spoken to?’
Once again she thought about Easton. What had he said? But Dani had told nothing but the truth, so what was the issue?
Barlow looked to Sturridge again. The young DS held up a piece of paper and read out the words: ‘Please, help me. You’ve got to help me.’
Sturridge stopped, and looked up at Dani. She didn’t move a muscle. Her whole body was rigid, even though her brain was on fire.
‘Help me. She’s going to kill me.’
Another dramatic pause.
‘They want to kill me. Help.’
Dani wasn’t sure how much longer she could hold her emotions in. And it was anger – and quite strangely, fear – that was winning out.
‘Did you, at any point, hear Dean Harland say or shout out any of those phrases?’ Barlow asked.
‘No,’ Dani said, her tone surprisingly measured. ‘Absolutely not.’
‘We have more than one witness who has asserted that these were the words Dean Harland said before he was killed.’
‘No,’ Dani said, shaking her head, now more in disbelief. ‘That’s just not true.’
But then a flash of doubt swept through her. How far ahead had Harland been? Could he have shouted out like that, and she just hadn’t heard? Had she been too focussed on getting to him?
‘Can you think of a reason why Harland would say those things?’ Barlow asked.
‘I’ve no idea,’ Dani said. ‘The witnesses are lying.’
Barlow raised her eyebrows. ‘Lying.’
‘Yes! They’re lying, that did not happen.’
‘Why would the witnesses lie to us?’
‘I don’t bloody know!’ Dani shouted, finally losing her cool. ‘Why don’t you ask them?’
Who the hell were these witnesses anyway?
Dani thought back to the chase. The woman with the pram. Other nearby pedestrians. The teenagers at the flats. Was it them? Causing trouble for the sake of it?
‘DI Stephens?’ Barlow said. ‘Do you have anything else to add?’
‘No. I’m all done.’
* * *
Dani walked back out onto the street outside HQ, her head heavy and numb. Thick drops of rain pelted down from the dark afternoon sky but Dani stood there staring into space.
‘Dani, what are you doing?’
It was Jason. He came from behind and put a hand under her armpit, pulling her along, away from HQ.
‘You’re soaked through,’ he said, lifting a golfing umbrella up over both of their heads.
‘I’m not crazy,’ Dani said. ‘Am I?’
‘What? No, Dani, you’re not.’
Then what the hell was that all about with Harland and the witnesses? She wondered. Her memories felt so clear but were they really?
‘Let’s get out of the rain,’ Jason said. ‘We can grab a coffee.’
‘I’d rather have something a bit stronger.’
Jason said nothing to that.
He led them around the corner to a coffee shop Dani hadn’t been to before, that was decked out in the increasingly ubiquitous shabby-chic style. She couldn’t remember what the unit had been in the past – a sandwich shop perhaps? They ordered their drinks and took a seat on a worn brown leather sofa in a quiet spot in the corner. Dani wrapped her hands around the large mug, still deep in thought.
‘How did it go?’ Jason asked, breaking the silence.
‘I really don’t know,’ Dani said. ‘I told them the truth. That’s all I can do.’
But was what she’d told really what happened? Was it her version of events that was wrong? Was her mind playing tricks on her like it had so many times in the recent past?
Jason wisely chose to not try and make the situation better than it really was, staying silent instead.
‘I saw Easton in the foyer,’ Dani said. ‘He clammed up so tight when he spotted me I thought he’d had cement for breakfast.’
‘The guy’s actually alright,’ Jason said. ‘He’s got a promising future.’
‘He’s working with you now?’
‘Yeah. You heard about Fletcher, didn’t you?’
The look on Dani’s face indicated she hadn’t.
‘There was a complication so they delivered the baby early.’
‘When?’ Dani said.
‘Wednesday night, but I only found out this morning. Last I heard all’s fine, though the baby’s still in hospital. Her name’s Erika.’
Dani rolled her eyes. At herself. She and Fletcher had not exactly been on the best of terms recently, but she still wished she’d known. She would have sent a message at least.
‘But I’ve spoken to Easton. He’s not going to screw you over.’
‘Then why could he barely look me in the eye earlier?’
‘He’s a young guy who’s thinking about his career. He’s not going to challenge McNair and Baxter, is he? He’ll give Professional Standards the plain, simple truth when asked. He’s not going to stick the knife in. He’s doing what they’re asking by not talking to you.’
‘Yet you’re talking to me.’ Dani said.
Jason shifted in his seat. ‘I guess my position with you is a little more complicated.’
Dani didn’t ask what he meant by that. She thought again about the meeting with Barlow and Sturridge and what the witnesses had said they’d heard Harland shout. What did it mean? She debated whether to talk to Jason about it. She decided she couldn’t.
‘Have you made any progress?’ she asked, trying to push the thoughts away.
‘Not exactly. Still no sign of Ethan Grant. We’ve now traced Natalya’s final movements as best we can using CCTV. We did manage to find one more capture, and given the direction she was running in, we’ve honed in on three industrial estates with various business premises and lock-ups. It’s a long search but we’re doing what we can to see if we can find any evidence of her being held at one of those sites.’
‘What about residences? It’s equally possible she was held in a home.’
‘Yeah, we’re working on it, but it’s not a fast process. Toxicology is back but there’s not much to tell. We’ve also had prelim results back from forensics both on the crime scenes, and at Natalya’s home, though we're still yet to formally ID her.’
‘And?’
‘And pretty much nothing. No sign of any kind of struggle at Natalya’s. No indication of anyone being there who couldn’t be explained.’
Dani sighed. ‘And Jessica Bradford?’
‘I’ve spoken to Missing Persons about her. They couldn’t add anything that you didn’t already know.’
‘That’s it?’
‘No. I
’ve followed up with her parents and two of her friends too. It looks like a complete red herring. Her parents received a phone call from her two days ago. They’ve had texts too. She’d buggered off to Prague or Budapest or somewhere with some guy she’s met. Her friend showed me the Facebook post.’
Dani shook her head in disbelief. She’d felt sure there was more to Jessica’s story.
‘Missing Persons are going to follow up when she’s home to make sure everything is ok. They won’t take any chances, but there’s not much else they or we can do right now.’
Dani sighed again. It seemed the investigation was simply hitting dead end after dead end.
‘Did they figure out what happened to Mrs Staunton?’
‘She was injected with a tranquiliser, just as you suspected, but there was no evidence found of the intruder, other than the prints in the grass. But those’re next to useless. All we can tell from them is that the person was wearing a shoe size probably between seven and ten.’
Dani shook her head.
‘We’ve still got more to come back from the lab, but that’s where we’re at.’
‘And nothing more on the other missing persons cases either?’
‘Nothing. Those women have just disappeared. No trace of what happened to them.’
Which Dani still didn’t like at all, particularly given Paul Reeve was directly linked not just to Natalya, but to Grace Agnew as well.
‘What about other deaths?’ Dani said, as a thought sprang to mind.
‘How do you mean?’
‘Other murders we’ve investigated that shared any similarities to Reeve’s and Natalya’s deaths? Solved or unsolved.’
Jason looked a little worn out now by her relentless grasping. ‘Where are you going with this?’
‘You know where. Can you check for me? Please?’
Though the reality was, she’d already performed similar checks on HOLMES 2 with no luck.
Jason sighed. ‘I’ll check.’
The Essence of Evil Page 28