by Amber Benson
“NO! Please don’t hurt him!!” I heard my mom scream, but it was like her words were being strained through a sieve so that I could hardly understand their meaning.
I knew my dad couldn’t hear my thoughts. I was reliving something that’d already occurred in the past and I had no ability to change its outcome, no matter how desperately I wanted to. Still, I urged my dad to get up and flee, to save himself from his own impending death, but he was immovable. His body remained prostrate in the dirt before the Ender of Death’s diamond-bladed scythe even as the whoosh of the blade cut through the air and the sound of death filled my ears. I caught a glimpse of the diamond blade in my peripheral vision, moving so quickly I could only hold it in my gaze for a second.
Then everything went dark . . . and then I could not see to see.
twelve
It was jarring to be back in my own body—even more so to have been a mute witness to my father’s murder. Everything Jarvis and Hyacinth had said was true: I was Death again, well, at least partly, until Daniel came along to challenge me—then all bets were off. The strangest part of the experience had been hearing my dad tell the Ender of Death that I would avenge him. My dad had never spoken to me like that before. In fact, he’d done everything to dissuade me from using magic, almost as if he were protecting me from my birthright . . . something I’d never considered before.
With the obstinacy of a child, I’d railed against joining the family business . . . but maybe that was just what my dad had intended, what he had wanted all along: for me to be as far away from Death as possible—but thinking the idea was my own. He’d been shielding me from the supernatural world, letting me have a real life while it was still humanly possible to do so—and I’d completely misunderstood his intentions. I’d been living under false pretenses, existing in the land of denial not because I wanted to, but because it had been engineered that way by my parents.
I had this odd feeling I’d never really known my father— and now I was never gonna get the chance to remedy it, because he was gone. I had already done so much crying I didn’t think I was capable of any more tears, but I was wrong. The tears came freely, and once they’d begun, they didn’t want to stop.
“He’s dead.” I shuddered. “They killed him with a diamond-bladed scythe, cut his head off.”
Kali was gone—back to Purgatory to help try and reclaim Death, Inc.—or else she would’ve laughed in my face when I continued with: “They have my mom and sister and I have to go back and save them.”
Hyacinth was much kinder. She merely shook her head no.
“You’ll do them no good dead. You have to prepare to face the challenge ahead of you. Only then can you save your family.”
Hyacinth was right.
If I wanted to help anyone else, I had to help myself first.
“I’m ready,” I said to Hyacinth, but she merely nodded and pointed to the sea.
“Ask for his help.”
“Help me—” I started to scream, my voice sailing across the waves, but it proved to be unnecessary. Watatsumi had many ears listening to our conversation, and within seconds the water at the marsh’s edge was alive with bubbles.
“I heard tale you were looking for guidance,” the old man said as he dredged his human body out of the water and flopped onto the brittle grass in front of us.
The upper part of his body was as I remembered it—a long, lean torso wrapped in a kimono—but the lower half was now nothing more than a flat fish tail made up of thousands of sparkling red jewel-like scales. As soon as he had beached himself on dry land, the glittering scales began to fade until they were gray and lusterless. The old man reached down, catching hold of the scaled fish tail and shedding it as if it were a second skin to reveal the grass skirt he was wearing underneath. The old man hoisted the fish tail back into the sea, where it sank below the waves. He stood up and walked toward me, moving with as much ease on dry land as he had underwater.
Hyacinth took the opportunity to go, disappearing behind the shell of the burnt-out helicopter and leaving me in the old man’s capable hands.
“I want to learn how to beat my challenger,” I said, “I want to kick his ass. I hear you can help me.”
The old man giggled, pleased with my irreverence.
“Good, that makes things easier,” he replied. “Think fast.”
I felt something heavy fly into my midsection, knocking me backward onto my ass.
“What the—” I started to say, but out of the corner of my eye, I saw something large and silvery escape the waves and shoot toward me. On guard now, I rolled over onto my side so that the silvery thing shot past me and landed on the grass, flopping around wildly.
“A fish? You’re attacking me with fish?” I managed before another sea creature flew through the air, flinging itself at me like a berserker.
“This is gross!” I said, sidestepping another flying fish and glaring at the old man. I didn’t care that he looked pathetic and harmless in his ratty grass skirt. I knew underneath the sweet old man exterior was a scaly sea serpent biding its time until it could show its true form and chomp me in two.
“Stop throwing fish at me!” I screamed as I bent down and picked up one of the floundering creatures, its gills working overtime as it tried to suck some air out of the alien and inhospitable environment.
“You’re gonna kill them,” I said, throwing the projectile fish back into the water, where it swam out of sight—only to have three more leap out at me for my trouble. One of the fish slammed into my shoulder, knocking me down hard. But it was really on the losing end of that proposition, dying on impact, a smear of blood marking my shoulder as the murder weapon.
“Enough!” I yelled, picking my way through the dying fish littering the marsh floor. I couldn’t look at the heaving bodies and drying silver scales without feeling annoyed about all the waste of life.
“What’s your problem?” I said, stalking over to where the old man sat cross-legged in lotus position, skimming the surface of the water like a Japanese Jesus. He’d moved to this position out on the water because it was just out of my reach—but that didn’t stop me from picking up one of the dying fish and lobbing it at his head.
To my surprise, it wasn’t a fish but rather a harmless clump of seaweed that landed in the water and floated at the old man’s feet. I scanned the ground around me, but the fish had magically disappeared. In their place: rotting clumps of dark green seaweed that stank to high heaven.
“So, what was the point of that?” I bellowed from the edge of the marsh. “What does that do for me, buddy?”
The old man sighed. I guess he was expecting a little more brainpower from a Death-in-Waiting.
“Why don’t you tell me what this exercise teaches us?” he said, rephrasing my question back at me.
“I don’t know.” I shrugged, feeling as if I were in the middle of a pop quiz I’d forgotten to study for. The old man floated farther away from the edge of the land, enjoying my profound discomfort.
“You’re the bloody guide,” I said. “Guide me to the answer.”
“Nope,” he said, grinning. “You guide me.”
I didn’t like this word game bullshit. If he wanted to teach me something, then he was gonna have to do it the old-fashioned way. I was much better at accomplishing things once someone had told me what needed doing. I guess that was what made me such a good assistant—not much thought involved in getting someone’s dry cleaning, is there?
“Look, you tell me what I’m supposed to think and I’ll think it,” I said, hoping honesty would get me somewhere. Instead, the old man just covered his eyes with his palm and shook his head.
“You are Death’s Daughter.” He groaned. “But you act like Death’s idiot. What do you have against thinking for yourself?”
I shrugged.
“It’s easier the other way.”
He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. I could feel the disgust radiating out at me.
“That i
s the idiot talking again,” he said. “Think!”
I sighed, feeling a bit overwhelmed by the whole situation.
The man wants me to think. Well, even if I’m not aces at it, I can at least give it a shot. Now, what am I supposed to be learning from the fish/seaweed incident?
Just calming my brain down for two seconds and not putting up any “I can’t do this” roadblocks freed my mind enough to let the answer come to me. It was so simple that I had to agree with the old man: I was being an idiot. It wasn’t that I couldn’t do what he asked of me. My problem was that I was so used to coasting through life I’d gotten lazy, letting things happen around me rather than being a willing participant. I knew this about myself. It’d been pointed out to me before, but I’d never had a reason to change it. Now I had four good reasons: my dad, my mom, Jarvis, and Clio. If I wanted to avenge the people I’d lost and save the ones who still had a chance, I was gonna have to get myself together and start acting like a real person who gave a shit about what was happening in her life.
“You wanted to me to think about illusion,” I said. “To understand that things are not always what they seem.”
The old man clapped, the sound as dry and brittle as the marsh grass I stood on.
“You’re finally using your brain, Death’s Daughter. Does it hurt?”
I gave him the finger, which got him tittering like a schoolgirl.
“What’s next? You gonna teach me how to gut a fish, Sensei?” I said, rolling my eyes. “Or maybe you can teach me how to turn into a big red sea monster—”
“Good idea,” the old man giggled. “You want to be like Sumi and get big, huh?”
“Like who?” I asked.
The old man pointed to his own chest.
“Get big like Sumi. Sumi. That’s me.”
Did I want to get big like Sumi? Heck, I wasn’t opposed to it.
“Sure, tell me how to get big like Sumi,” I shot back. Sumi grinned, his teeth flashing in the fading sunlight.
I hoped “learning how to get big” would be the last item on the Sumi “guidance counselor combination plate,” because twilight was fast approaching and I didn’t want to spend the night chilling on the marsh.
“You have the jewel I gave you?” he asked and I nodded, retrieving the scarlet stone from the pocket I’d slipped it back into.
“Good,” he said, pleased I still had the stone in my possession. “Now put it in your mouth—”
“Put it in my mouth?” I replied incredulously. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”
The old man shook his head.
“Why would I kid you? You have no sense of humor.”
“Excuse me?” I said, taking umbrage at the implication.
“Put the stone in your mouth or go home.”
I glared at him—he knew I couldn’t go home and he was just being contrary.
“Fine,” I sniffed, putting the jewel in my mouth. “Appy ow?”
The jewel tasted like seawater and mud, but I kept my features slack, not giving Sumi the satisfaction of seeing the disgust I felt.
“Now swallow it,” he said as if it were the most commonplace suggestion in the world.
“Oo!” I said, the jewel rattling against my teeth. “Oo way!”
Suddenly, the old man was standing beside me, his grass skirt and kimono akimbo. I had no idea how he’d gotten out of the water and onto dry land so quickly, but before I could ask him, he’d slapped me hard on the back, sending the jewel flying down my trachea. I choked, my gag reflexes kicking in, but the jewel went down anyway. I could feel it hit bottom, sitting in my stomach and taking up space among the remains of the shawarma I’d eaten for lunch.
“Uck!” I squeaked. “That’s disgusting!”
“A necessary evil.” Sumi shrugged. “Now you can get big like Sumi.”
The jewel had left the lingering taste of the bottom of the sea in my mouth. I spat, expecting a little spittle to hit the grass, but instead a burst of flame shot out of my mouth, scorching the ground in front of me.
“What the hell—” I said, startled by this strange development.
“Now you get big like Sumi.” The old man grinned, pointing at me.
I looked down to find my body changing: my pale peach flesh became mottled with shimmering scales the color of a melted orange sunset, my arms shrinking then disappearing entirely into the folds of my orange-scaled torso. I was growing at an alarming rate, my body lengthening unnaturally as I transformed from human into sea serpent. Not wanting to be caught on dry land in monster form, I flopped forward, using my extended torso like a snake to slither into the water.
The transformation process generated a lot of heat and the cold water felt amazing on my new skin. I glided through the silken seawater at a brisk pace, propelling myself forward with the elongated forked tail I’d just grown. It was so freeing to be out of my human form, shooting through the water like a sailboat hewn from sea serpent flesh. I could taste the pollution in the water as I swam, and I wanted nothing more than to leave the human defilement of the bay behind me, in favor of the deeper, uninhabited waters of the ocean. My human mind knew this wasn’t possible, that I was needed back on dry land, but I let myself swim for a while longer before turning back around.
When I resurfaced, I was still a good distance from the marsh where I’d transformed. I let my body float, basting in the brine for a few minutes. I’d never been so relaxed before, had never felt so free. Now I understood why Sumi was always in such a good mood: He could turn into a seagoing beast anytime he wanted. Even though I’d fought him on it, I was glad he’d made me swallow the jewel. In retrospect, I wouldn’t have been so hesitant about the whole thing had I known the wonders of the sea serpent lifestyle that were ahead of me.
Being a creature from the deep, I was utterly satisfied with my lot in life. Being a human? Not so much. Still, as much as I liked riding the waves and looked forward to kicking ass and taking names as the baddest beast in the ocean, I knew that duty called—and I had to listen.
My brain high on happiness endorphins, I flipped onto my stomach and jackknifed my way back through the water toward the marsh, picking up speed as I went. I was going so fast that I didn’t notice the churning water above me until I was in the thick of it.
I tried to stop short, but my velocity was too great and I caromed into the side of a tour boat, slamming into the hull with enough force to almost capsize it. I could hear the human screams reverberating through the water and I tried to sink deeper into the darkness. Above me, I sensed the flash of digital cameras as the tourists from the tour boat worked frantically to document our run-in.
Dammit, I thought. This is so not good.
I sunk even farther into the water, but not before the tourists were able to get a decent look at me. I had been a sea serpent for less than an hour, and already I’d wrecked the mystique for all the other sea serpents out there. I started to panic, my brain trying to figure out a good escape route, but I shouldn’t have bothered. Nature took over, shrinking my body back down to human size. It was strange to be my old self again—my muscles felt rubbery and unwilling to bend to my control, and even my brain protested against the change. My human body fought against being pressed into service, but I forced it forward, away from the boat, doing an easy breaststroke in the direction of the marsh.
I was definitely ready to get out of the water now that my sea serpent body was gone. Swimming just wasn’t as much fun without it.
I reached the edge of the marsh and hauled myself up onto dry land. I was exhausted and it took me a few moments to catch my breath. When I could move a little more easily, I squinted out toward the horizon, my eyes spying the tiny tour boat I’d rammed. It was still idling where I’d left it, probably hoping I’d make a repeat appearance, but it would be forced to return to port soon because twilight was fast approaching.
“You and Nessy. You give us a bad name,” Sumi said as he squatted down in the grass beside me. I’d thought he w
as going to be superangry about my tourist attack, but that comment proved to be the only one he made on the subject.
“Time to feed you and get you dressed for your trip,” he continued, offering me his hand. I took it, letting him help me stand up. I was wobbly on my feet, my whole person exhausted from my adventure, but I followed Sumi as he trudged across the marsh, his grass skirt crunching with every step.
I thought we’d run into Hyacinth on our walk, but she never appeared. Darkness was our only companion as we pressed onward, and I found it only slightly harder to see as night stole around us like a predatory cat.
“Where are we going?” I asked as my feet hit pavement and we left the marsh in favor of a road.
“Not far,” Sumi replied. “We can rest then.”
We followed the curve of the road to the inhabited part of the island, the lights from the houses we passed dissipating the darkness we’d enjoyed out on the marsh. In lieu of the darkness, a heavy fog descended, shrouding the landscape like a thick gray blanket and chilling me to the core. I wrapped my arms around my torso and tried to stay as close to Sumi as possible. No way José did I want to get left out in the cold on my own.
Suddenly, I felt a chill at the nape of my neck and my entire body gave an involuntarily shiver. The wind blew across my face, the ripe bouquet of animal musk blossoming into stench as it hit my nose and I nearly choked on the foulness of it.
“Get back,” Sumi said, thrusting me behind him as an inhuman howl cracked the night wide open.
thirteen
The Vargr moved so quickly they were like gray and brown streaks racing through the moonlight. Before I knew it, we were surrounded by five of the slavering beasts, each one more hideous looking than the next. They were similar to the gaunt man/beast I’d dealt with back on the subway, but these guys were larger and more intimidating, if that was possible. I could see rippling rhomboid muscles working angular shoulder blades as they stalked closer, encircling us. Taut strips of muscle held their jaws in check for now, but I knew it was only a matter of time before they attacked, using their elongated snouts and serrated teeth to tear our flesh into ragged pieces.