I don’t remind him that she’d tell him in no uncertain terms that only she had the right to hand over ownership of her body or soul, and in this case, she’d given herself to both of us. But that was a technicality that mattered not at the moment. “You were first. No one can take that away from you.” For a grown man, Bob still has the blood of a possessive bairn running through his veins.
Robert turns and stabs his index finger into my chest, a hugely aggressive act for him. “You got her killed. And I’m not going to let you do it again.”
I resume my seat and give him a moment to settle. Robert is equal parts rational man and hot-headed boy who relies far too much on charm to excuse himself. We just need to wait for the man to resume his role. Eventually, I sense the man emerging. “I have the very strong feeling that, if we’re not careful, we may lose her altogether this time. Zeus made no bones about his expectations. Are you willing to risk not knowing her at all by keeping her to yourself? What makes you so special?”
Robert launches from his seat, his face purple with passion. “What makes you think she wants you, anyway? She’ll be the first one to tell you that lust is a very different thing from love. Ask her. She’s adamant that throwing a lot of sex into the mix just complicates things, destroys things. What you’re talking about is taking all this clan intimacy to a whole new level. You want me to share her with three of you. But it’s more than that, isn’t it, Francis? This is about you having an excuse to take me.” Robert clamps his lips shut, pivots, and paces away like a skittish colt. “Fuck.”
I give a moment for his blood to return to a simmer, then stand. I step close, but not too close behind him and resist the urge to touch his shoulder. “Is that what this is all about? I’ve never breached that trust.”
He bows his head. “That was unfair of me. I’m sorry.” He runs his hand through the mountain of brown curls that top his head. He goes back to his seat and downs the contents of his snifter. “You’ve always respected my boundaries.” He pours another drink and contemplates it. At this rate, he’ll be snockered before dinner, but I wisely refrain from pointing out the obvious.
I sit forward in my seat, passionate in my own right. “Mate, I’ve come to love you as a brother. True, I had a moment of infatuation, but that was over four hundred years ago. Give a guy a break as you’re so fond of saying.”
I take his faint smile as a sign it’s safe to go on. “My friend, this is about more than sex. More than anything we know. Something bigger than we are is happening. The living unity brand alone is proof that something out of the ordinary is afoot. You feel it. I know you do.”
Robert sits forward, his attention focused on a problem that needs solving. “What are you saying, man? We’re not the first to be destined mates.”
“No, but think about it, bráthair, very few destined mates develop unity brands, and only the gods have living brands.”
“But none of us are gods; in fact, once upon a time, we were all mortal, even you. And Tate’s no god. She died in that fire right along with us.”
“So it would appear, but I can’t help but think we’re missing something. And you didn’t see what happened at the staff meeting. She dropped Reed to his knees without touching him. It was fecking amazing.”
“Francis, you cursed. It must have been quite something to see.” Robert’s boyish smile is back. And suddenly I feel that perhaps we are in this together again.
“It was amazing. It looked as if she thought about kicking him in the balls, and the thought materialized into action.”
Robert screws up his face. “It could have been coincidental.” He was back to rational analysis.
“Are you still saying shite like that to me after all this time? After what we’ve learned here? Methinks you’re a tad too earthbound, bráthair. Time to expand your horizons, think outside the box as Nameless says.”
He laughs. “We’ll work on that, my friend.” He leans back in his favorite repose, the cigars he was so fond of on earth the only thing missing. “So, where do we go from here?”
“Why don’t we let wee Tate tell us once you release her from your oath of fealty. She may have a few ideas of her own. Meanwhile, you’d better focus some of that jealousy of yours on recalling that kink side you’ve buried so deeply.”
“When you’re right, you’re right.” He keeps his eyes fastened on his drink. “I used to love watching the two of you. It was a thing of beauty.” His voice is below the range any mortal could hear, telling me how hard it was to admit, but our Robert, like Tate, holds honesty like a beacon.
“You only need to say the word . . .”
8
— Tate —
In my office, Nameless settles himself in the lounge chair and goes back to strumming away, seemingly oblivious to the world. Except I can feel his attention on me. Even worse, my pinkish parts are aflame with all their desire.
Tate, you mean your desire, don’t you? Go ahead. Admit it, at least to yourself, my inner voice taunts.
I can’t admit it. Because I don’t entirely believe it. I’ve never been so consumed by lust in my life. So maybe it’s leftovers from the ascension cold fever. Or magic. Or a spell from the gods. Or something unique to Bardo.
Okay, okay. I’ll admit to a few wishy-washy moments when I let thoughts . . . fantasies . . . about the guys tip me into the gutter, but those are over and done with. It’s time for me to take things in hand and follow my own code. I’m committed to Bob. He’s my one. It’s not as if we haven’t discussed the idea of fucking other people—at least for the minute or two I was able to choke on the idea of him screwing someone else—but we’d agreed that though we might see tantalizing opportunities from time to time, a fleeting moment of pleasure could never replace the enduring bond we have. It would probably complicate things. We talked at length about how there was no need to fuck around if our needs were being met at home. It has nothing to do with being righteous and everything to do with building committed love.
But should all of those rules apply when I’m supposed to be figuring out my true sexual nature and what I need to do to solidify my unity bond and ascend to Nirvana?
I can’t seem to stop questioning my beliefs. I should spank my own traitorous ass.
A knock sounds at the door, and Dorbhe flutters in at my signal. She perches on the side of my desk and looks at me over rather cute square glasses.
“I’ve set up an interview schedule with the professors as requested. Each professor will get fifteen minutes except for Domina Michele. She’s requested the first appointment for thirty minutes. I said I’d check with you first.” Dorbhe looks at me expectantly, pen and pad at the ready.
“You know best how things run around here, and I’m relying on your guidance. Would seeing her first be a good move?” I can’t deny the hit of pleasure I get as I sense Nameless’s approval. Dorbhe does her best to hide her preening.
“Actually, it would be. Not only because I have the feeling you two have history, but also because she’s one of the most perceptive on staff.” Dorbhe flutters up and lands again. “I’m sorry. That was out of line. Ignore that comment.” Her beautiful pointed ears twitch rapidly.
I sit back and pin her with my best serious but not intimidating gaze. “Dorbhe, please sit.”
She lowers herself a few inches closer to the desktop, but it’s more of a hover than a settle.
I lean forward. A light whiff of spring flowers, like honeysuckle, suits her, subtle and understated. “I need an ally, and I’m hoping you’ll be it, someone I can trust to be honest with me no matter what.”
Dorbhe stops fluttering for a moment and fixes me with a level stare. “I don’t know about that . . . The last headmistress said almost the same thing, then when I disagreed with her, she tried to fire my ass.” Dorbhe gasps and claps her hand over her mouth. “I’m so sorry. How unprofessional.”
Nameless snorts, and I laugh. Dorbhe frowns.
I quickly grab her hand. “We’re not laug
hing at you. We’re laughing with you. I have the worst potty mouth in the universe, and the word ass is probably the least offensive word you’ll hear once I get going. I tell you what, how about we be ourselves with each other. If we’re doing something that pisses the other off, then we’ll talk about it.” I hold my hand out to her. “Deal?”
She looks a bit skeptical but eagerly grabs my hand. “I sure hope this one isn’t going to bite me in the ass again.” She pumps my hand vigorously for such a little thing. “But I have a good feeling about you.”
“As do I for you,” I say. “Do you mind my asking how you got your job back?”
“Her Majesty the Queen told me to stay put. She probably would have fired that bitch’s ass if Hades hadn’t gotten to her first.” Dorbhe’s pointed ears relax against her head. Note to self: she flutters around, and her ears go forward when she’s agitated.
Dorbhe flits to an upright position and hovers over the desk. “Domina Michele arrives in fifteen minutes. I scheduled her first because she runs Bacchus House, which is the fancy name she gave our practical lab. Is there anything else I can get you?”
I tap the employee files on my desk. “No, I think I have all I need right here to get started. What time are you finished work?”
Dorbhe looks as if she doesn’t understand the question.
“I beg your pardon, Mrs. Spencer?”
“Dorbhe, we’re going to start off on the wrong foot if you insist on calling me Mrs. Spencer. First of all, it would be Mrs. Morrison, technically, since I’m Bob’s wife. Second, I don’t want to be called Mrs. Morrison because that was Bob’s mother’s name. And third, I’m not much of one for titles by privilege.”
The startled look on her face announces that this is new news for her. She straightens her spine. “My lips are sealed.”
“I appreciate your discretion, but my marriage to Bob isn’t a secret.”
Dorbhe frowns, and her wings start up their rapid movement cycle. “Hasn’t anyone told you?”
“Told me what?”
“There’s no such thing as marriage up her. Neither the gods nor the rules of karma will allow it. If we kept our earthly ties up here, we wouldn’t be able to figure out what we need to do to complete our next level.” Dorbhe nods sagely, but her wings move into hyperdrive.
“Dorbhe, sit down and calm down for a minute before your wings give me a headache.”
“I’m sorry, Mrs . . . I mean, Tate. I get like that when I’m nervous. To answer your question, I finish work when you do.”
“What am I doing to make you nervous?” I sigh inwardly. No matter where I go—
“Oh, it’s not you. It’s me. I have a knack for putting my foot in my mouth without even realizing it.” Dorbhe looks sheepish, but her wings and altitude settle down.
“That would be you and me both.” I get up and slide my arm around her shoulders, carefully avoiding her wings, and walk her to the door. “I think you and I will get along just fine. Let me know when Michele arrives.”
I close the door and march over to where Nameless sits, seemingly oblivious to what’s going on, but I know different. He’s been fully attuned to the entire conversation. None of my guys mentioned that my marriage to Bob was null and void up here.
“How come you didn’t tell me about this null and void marriage stuff?” I’m not sure why, but the idea pisses me off. Actually, I know precisely why—because then I won’t have the excuse of my enduring marriage to glom onto. If earthly mores and conventions matter naught in Bardo, then it was a matter of choice, right?”
“Because, that’s not my job. Would it have mattered?” He looks up at me with those intelligent dark eyes, eyes that seem to see right through me.
I huff and flounce back to the desk, pulling the stack of files to sit in front of me. Pretending I’m all kinds of busy doing headmistress stuff, examining the staff files like I should be instead of stewing over one tiny piece of insignificant information. Except it feels huge. As if I’ve lost my foothold and am in free fall over a large cavern that leads to a large pit of hot, racy sex . . . with four guys. And one of them is sitting just a few feet away, knowing that my ass itches for the palm of his hand. Dear gods! That’s it . . . It’s some kind of disease, and I’ve got it bad. Or maybe . . . maybe the part of my brain that controls sex drive was damaged by the sniper when I was shot, and that injury is affecting me in Bardo. No doubt Michele will be able to shed some light on the situation. For sure, she’ll know the antidote.
I get the feeling Nameless is smirking, but he seems completely caught up in whatever he’s playing.
“What song is that? It’s very pretty. I’d love to hear more of it. That’s something I really miss.”
He studies me, eyes sharp with interest. “Music?”
I nod.
“Now, that’s something I can help you with.” He strums a few more chords. “This is something I’m working on. I’m working on the lyrics.”
I leave my desk and sit in the armchair near his. “Oh, are you working on a love song for your new girlfriend?”
Nameless gives a smile and a little shrug. “Something like that.”
I lean forward eagerly. “Maybe I can help.” I’ve always dreamed of writing a song.
Knowing what I know of Nameless, I brace myself for all kinds of scathing to come out of his mouth. Instead, he full-out grins and says, “Sure, why not. That is, if you want to come to my studio after dinner. That’s usually when I really get into it.”
“I’d love to. Can I hear what you’ve got so far?”
He looks at me for several long moments before looking down at the fretboard.
You hide your fears.
And doubt your tears.
Let not the world take part of you.
Hold on with what you’ve got to do.
And life will be your happiness.
I’ve held on for all I’m worth . . .
He stops strumming. “I’m working on the next line.” He smiles, and it’s so genuine that it damn near melts my already damp knickers off. “Any ideas?”
“Play it again.”
He does, and . . .
“To what I thought would be the birth, of love of man upon the earth, my life will be my happiness. My life will be my happiness.”
“Oh, that’s really good.” He sings, Feel the pain that’s all around, bringing human nature down.
A knock comes at the door. Damn it! He gives me that smoky gaze. “To be continued.”
I’m torn . . . As eager as I am to see Michele, this is a moment that I don’t want to end. And I don’t want to examine that too closely, either. I sigh and cross to my desk. “Come in.”
The moment I lay eyes on Michele, rapture blows every other pesky thought right out of my head. We both run and meet in a gigantic hug in the middle of the large room, jumping around in each other’s arms and screeching. When we’ve finished acting like joyful schoolgirls, I hold her at arm’s length. “Girlfriend, your breasts are more perfect than they were in life.”
Michele laughs her throaty, sexy laugh. “And your tits are as perfect as they ever were. We’re going to have you saying tits before we’re done with you, or I’m not head of Bacchus House.”
“I couldn’t believe it when I heard the name. You made your dream come true, didn’t you?” A very tiny bit of envy drips into my question. The kink conference in Seattle had opened our eyes, and Michele had let me know that things were going to be very different in her vanilla sex life when she went home. And she was taking home a couple of floggers as proof of her resolve. But she’d never had the chance to explore, and neither had we. Not long after we’d landed, she’d collapsed with a rebound of her cancer that led to her death. Bob followed her shortly thereafter with a diagnosis of invasive cancer that led to his.
I hug her again. “Gods, how I’ve missed you. You really pissed me off, leaving me like that, you know.”
She takes my hand and leads me to the sofa. “First rule u
p here, we don’t look back. And yes, to answer your question, I followed my dream. It didn’t take long for Hera to put me in charge of their very badly run lab as they called where they practiced their kink.”
“They wouldn’t know what hit them.” I squeeze her hand.
“You’ve got that right. Now, the apprentice lab is separate from the one for staff shenanigans. Can you believe they actually used to let staff fuck students? Not happening on my watch.”
“So, which one is Bacchus?”
“Staff, of course.” She winks. “And I modeled it on that Masquerade Club we read about. Remember?”
I nod. Wide eyed.
“But, we quickly gained a reputation for high-end kink. That got the attention of the gods. So now, we’re pretty much a full-fledged after-hours kink club.”
“I can’t wait to see it.” I squeeze her hand. “I’m counting on you to show me the ropes up here.
“Wait. I’m not your boss or anything, am I?” Michele looks so horrified, I laugh.
“No girlfriend, thank gods. We’re pretty much at the same level, as I understand it. So, what’s the first thing I should know?”
“Before we get into that, and in the interest of full disclosure, scuttlebutt here is that I’m fucking your guys.” Michele always was one to lay her cards on the table.
“And, are you?”
9
— Francis —
I cloak myself, physically and mentally, and slip into the office unnoticed, one of my many enhanced abilities as a vampire. Normally, I’d only have to cloak physically, which takes little effort, but the block needed to keep Tate from sensing my presence takes a great deal of ether to fuel it. I’m just in time to see Nameless and Tate, heads bent over one of his interminable songs. Good. He certainly needs something to bring his attention back to the clan. Even better if their mutual love of music helps heal some of the animosity between them. Neither of them can explain its presence, but it’s certainly due to events that passed between them in their latest life, something that we need to resolve to move on. Something that no doubt had something to do with Robert’s possessive nature and Tate’s inborn desire to please him, an impulse that’s grown during each lifetime until it’s almost instinctual.
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