She ignored me again. “Like, for example, going to a very important dance with said friend after she’s broken up with her jerk of a boyfriend?”
I blinked in shock as the meaning of her words hit home.
“Uh…” I said in response to those wide pleading eyes.
She couldn’t be serious. I turned to face her directly as if a change of perspective might help me see that her request was in jest.
She was totally serious.
“Tina,” I said slowly.
“Come on,” she pleaded before I could go any further.
Probably for the best since I wasn’t sure what I’d been about to say. Tina, I don’t want to go with you? That would have been a lie. I had little interest in the prom, but I very much liked the idea of having Tina in my arms—on the dancefloor or anywhere else. The thought of it made me want to pull her back toward me and kiss her senseless all over again. So yeah, I wanted to be her date.
More than that, I wanted to make sure she was happy. In that particular moment, my highest mission in life was ensuring that this girl graced the world with that stunning smile on a regular basis.
And I really wanted to make sure she was happy with me and not some other guy. Even if it wasn’t Alex. I didn’t want her going on a date with anyone but me.
That jealous feeling? It wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon.
All this was to say that in asking me to be her friend-date to the prom, one thing became apparently clear.
I wanted to date Tina. And yeah, if a date meant the prom, then I was actually tempted to take her.
But...
There was a giant but surrounding this topic. The but being—I liked her. And she’d just spelled out that she wanted to be my friend. Even if she hadn’t I didn’t know if I was ready to try again. Love had kicked my butt and I wasn’t sure I’d survive another thrashing if this thing with Tina took a nosedive before it even got off the ground.
And yet…
She was looking at me with those big blue eyes. Mercilessly pleading with me with her gaze. How could I refuse after all she’d done for me…after the way she’d been there for me?
I couldn’t.
Also, I didn’t want to. Selfishly I wanted to be her date. I wanted to be the guy who danced with her all night long. I wanted to be the one who made a once in a lifetime memory with her.
Oh hell, I didn’t just have a crush. I had it bad for this girl, that much was becoming incredibly clear.
She clasped her hands together in front of her chest. “Pretty please?”
This was a mistake. This was a mistake. This was a mistake.
I ignored the voice of reason as I turned to her with a rueful smile. “Tina Withers, will you go to the prom with me?”
“Let me get this straight,” Alice said from where she was perched on the edge of her bed. “You, Julian Morris, are taking Tina Withers to the prom.”
I couldn’t see Alice’s expression. I was too busy determinedly staring at her ceiling as I lay strewn across her bed. That was where I’d fallen after I’d made my confession.
Alice was not a priest but in this instance she was the closest thing to it. I’d come over to help her study for her bio exam the day after the car conversation with Tina but instead I’d spilled everything—the whole story, leaving nothing out.
I wasn’t normally such a talker but I was still reeling from it all—the kiss, the conversation, the growing intensity in my relationship with Tina. And yeah, I was just as weirded out as Alice that I’d not only opted to attend the prom, but that I was now escorting Briarwood’s prom queen-to-be. A princess in waiting? I didn’t know, whatever they called the girls who made up the female portion of the court in the antiquated insanity that was prom.
I could hear the confusion in Alice’s voice as she continued with her questions. “So, you’re just going as friends?”
I shrugged. “Yeah, I guess.”
“But you like her as more than a friend.”
I rolled my head to the side so I could see her reaction. Her look confirmed that my newfound feelings for Tina were just as crazy as I’d thought.
“Are you sure your infatuation isn’t just a rebound thing?” she suggested, looking remarkably hopeful. “I mean, I know you guys have gotten close lately, but maybe you’re confused or something.”
I just continued to stare at her. I was pretty sure I’d made it very clear that I had no explanation for these new feelings. Maybe this was just a rebound thing…but I didn’t think so. It felt deeper than anything I felt for Leila. But then again, I’d thought that was the real deal so who was I to say? Clearly I was an idiot when it came to relationships.
“Right, let’s regroup,” Alice said, her tone brisk and efficient. It was her stage manager voice, the one she used when she was being blunt and take charge, which that was exactly what I needed right now. I was sick of emotions and trying to decipher my feelings and Tina’s. What I needed was a plan of action. I needed objectivity and perspective, which was why I’d spilled my story in the first place.
Scrubbing a hand over my face, I struggled upright into a sitting position. “Yes, let’s.”
“This is a good thing,” Alice said, her voice too bright. At my nonplussed stare she hurried on. “No, I mean it. It’s a good sign that you’re getting over Leila, at least. Right?”
I nodded. “I’ve barely thought about Leila lately.”
She beamed. “See? That’s great news.”
I grudgingly agreed with a shrug. “So I’ve gone from one romantic disaster to another. Explain again why that’s so awesome?”
She pursed her lips and I suspected I’d stumped her. I definitely knew I did when she abruptly changed the topic. “Do you think she feels the same way about you?”
I let out a long sigh. “That’s the question of the day, isn’t it?”
“So you don’t know.”
I thought of the way Tina responded to my kiss, to the way she was so different around me. “I think she does,” I said. “But maybe she’s not ready to admit it.” I turned to face Alice. “Maybe I’m not ready.”
She nodded slowly. “Maybe not. But if you have feelings for her, you’ve got to tell her.”
I knew she’d say that. I think that was half the reason I told her, to be honest. I knew she’d kick my butt, metaphorically speaking.
She looked apologetic as she continued. “It’s not fair to her or to yourself to pretend that you just want to be friends if you don’t. That’s kind of lying.”
I let out another long exhale. That’s exactly what my gut had been telling me when I’d gone along with this whole “we’re just friends” thing in the first place.
I liked her. As a friend, yes, but as so much more.
The way I felt around her was so not friendly. It was anything but friendly. The girl challenged me, she made me laugh, she antagonized me, she understood me, and sometimes she drove me nuts.
And I loved every second of it.
Alice’s voice changed considerably, taking on a high whiny tone. “What about prom, Blane?”
I turned my head slowly to face her. “Al, this is so not the time to be quoting Pretty in Pink.”
She smirked, and to be fair her Andie impersonation had been spot on. “It’s always time to be quoting Pretty in Pink. John Hughes was wise in the ways of high school.”
“It might be apt for you,” I said. “You’re the big nerd dating the preppy jock, remember?”
She reached out to smack my arm and I pretended that it hurt. “Fine, but if you go with Tina as her friend when you’re secretly harboring a crush, you are falling dangerously close to Duckie territory.”
I stared at her for a moment as her twisted 80s era logic hit home. No one wanted to be John Cryer’s quirky character with his pathetic one-sided infatuation.
Damn, was that me? “Ouch, Alice. That hurts.”
She rolled her eyes. “I’m not saying you are Duckie, I just don’t want to se
e you getting stuck in the friend zone if you honestly care about this girl.”
“‘This girl’ is Tina. Tina Withers,” I reminded her, as if she might have forgotten who we were discussing.
She stared at me.
“Don’t you think that’s a little insane?” I added.
She scrunched her nose up. “Kind of. But also…no, not insane at all.”
I arched my brows in surprise. If there was anyone who shared my former opinions of Tina, it was Alice. But she looked thoughtful as she toyed with a stuffed bunny that was lying on her bed. “I saw the way she was around you at the pizza place, remember? She was different. Real, genuine…” She shrugged. “I actually kind of liked that Tina.”
“I liked her too,” I said with an admittedly pathetic sigh.
Alice let out a snort of laughter. “Yeah, that much is exceedingly clear.”
“Am I that obvious around her?”
She was clearly struggling not to laugh. “Let’s put it this way. No matter what was going on with you and Leila, you never once threw yourself onto my bed to mope like a lovelorn junior high girl.”
I narrowed my eyes at her. “You are not funny.”
“I kind of am,” she said as she finally gave way to her laughter at my expense. “I’m sorry but this whole situation is just a little funny. You and Tina Withers?” Her laughter eventually faded. “Not obvious to the casual observer, I’ll admit, but I see it. I really do. You guys had something.”
I looked away, suddenly weirdly uncomfortable about discussing this “something” with anyone other than Tina. But, in my defense, I didn’t even know what I wanted to say to her.
“Is it too soon?” I asked. “She’s getting over a breakup and so am I. Maybe I’m rushing things.”
Alice shrugged. “But on the other hand, school is almost over. Graduation is nearly here. If not now, when?”
I sat there in silence as I thought about that very valid point.
When Alice spoke again her voice was gentle. “If you’re not sure about your feelings then—”
“I’m sure.” I surprised even myself with my vehemence. But I was sure. I could talk until I was blue in the face about the bad timing of it all but this ache in my chest when she was near, the way I missed her when she wasn’t around, the way I wanted to be around her constantly and be able to kiss her and touch her whenever I wanted…this was no figment of my imagination. It wasn’t some rebound infatuation or a fleeting crush. Of that I was one hundred percent certain.
Alice leaned forward and did her stupid Molly Ringwald impersonation again. “What about prom, Blane?” I rolled my eyes and she laughed. “I’m serious, Julian. What about prom? Are you seriously going to go with her?”
“You’re going,” I pointed out, my tone beyond childish.
“Yeah, yeah, but I have to go,” she said. “I promised Brian. In return he’s taking me to see a Broadway musical for my birthday.”
I shook my head. “Devious.” I would never fully understand the weirdness that was their relationship. But then again, I definitely was not in a position to judge.
Alice lowered her chin and gave me a meaningful look. “Are you sure you’re ready for what you’d be getting yourself into?”
I wanted to say “what do you mean?” but I knew what she was getting at. She spelled it out anyways.
“You’ll be in the middle of it all. You’ll be at the heart of their drama.” She arched her brows meaningfully. “Alex will not take it lying down so you’ll basically be poking the horny jock’s nest.”
I cast her sidelong glare at the stupid wordplay. “Clever.”
She grinned. “I thought so.” Her smile faded fast. Despite her joking, she was clearly worried about me. And maybe she had a right to be. “Are you sure you want to take her to the prom?”
I met her gaze. “I told her I’d take her and I’ll take her.”
Alice’s stare said it all, but she said it aloud anyway. “I’m worried.”
“I know.”
She looked down at the stuffed animal she was now clutching in her lap and picked at some fuzz. “Are you sure…”
I had a fairly good guess at what she was thinking. “Am I sure…what?” I prompted.
She looked up and her concerned gaze met mine. “Are you sure she’s not using you to make Alex jealous?”
I wanted to say no right off the bat. But common sense and years’ worth of watching Tina and Alex play their little reindeer games made me pause. They were renowned for trying to one up one another in the jealousy department, and everyone knew that whoever got caught in the middle was a human sacrifice.
Alice shifted on the bed. “I don’t want to see you get hurt.”
“I don’t want to get hurt,” I said with a rueful smile.
I stared at a point over her shoulder and she was quiet as my mind waded through everything that had happened these last few weeks, starting from that first, life-changing moment in the high school’s stockroom.
Yes, the Tina we’d long watched in her drama with Alex would hurt me. But that wasn’t her. Not anymore. At least, I’d never seen that girl. The Tina I’d been hanging out with was tougher than tough and put on a good front for the entire school. I’d seen a girl who’d been hurt over and over but who always survived. A girl who’d gone out of her way to protect me and to be a good friend.
She might have been self-centered in the past, but if so, she’d changed. She was changing. And so was I. Like it or not, I’d changed after Leila’s betrayal. I wasn’t as naïve as I’d once been and I wasn’t as trusting.
But I trusted Tina. So finally, after too long of a silence I answered her original question. “I’m taking her to the prom, Andie.”
She grinned at the fact that I was playing along with her weird John Hughes fantasies but her smile faded fast. “You could get hurt.”
I nodded slowly. “Maybe. But Tina isn’t trying to hurt me. She would never knowingly hurt me.”
Alice blinked a couple of times. “Wow.”
I gave a short laugh. I’d sounded pretty darn sure of myself, and one hundred percent confident in Tina’s deep down kindness. But I’d meant what I’d said.
Alice gave her head a little shake. “If you honestly believe what you said then that says a lot.”
I nodded slowly. “I do, and it does.” I met her gaze. “I like her, Al. A lot.”
She leaned forward so she could clap a hand on my shoulder. “Then it looks like you’re going to the prom, my friend.”
I smiled even as I groaned. “What the hell have I gotten myself into?”
Chapter Seven
Tina
“Smile for the cameras!”
I gripped Julian’s arm as I followed the photographer’s instructions and smiled for all I was worth. Smiling while my heart was breaking was nothing new for me. I was kind of a pro at faking joy.
Julian, on the other hand…
“Smile,” I hissed.
“It’s hard to smile when you’re clawing my arm.” His voice was low and filled with humor and some of my anxiety faded at the sound of it.
I eased my grip and turned to face him in the nearly empty auditorium which the yearbook staff had temporarily taken over for a photo session commemorating the prom court.
I don’t know that I really knew how much I was asking of Julian when I’d stupidly blurted out my request. But now it was too late.
What had I been thinking?
I hadn’t been thinking. That was the answer. I’d been acting on some weird, overwhelming impulse. Julian had made it clear that he wanted to be friends. I mean, why else would he be so eager to avoid talking about the most epic and amazing kiss of my life.
Well, it was tied with that kiss on open mic night.
Either way, those kisses had changed my life. And no, I wasn’t being melodramatic. Well, maybe just a little. But the truth was, that kiss had given me hope. I’d been terrified after breaking up with Alex.
No, not terrified. I’d felt…lost. Like for the first time in years I had no map, no guide, no clear-cut path. I was no longer Tina of Tina-and-Alex. I wasn’t that girl anymore.
Now that some time had passed I still felt lost but not in a bad way. It was almost freeing. I might not know what path I was walking on, but I loved the view.
I looked up at Julian and laughed as he gave me a ridiculously fake smile that showed all his teeth.
“Pretty,” I said.
He laughed and I found myself laughing too. For the first time since we entered this room I felt my shoulders relax. I even managed to forget that Alex was there too, glaring at me. At us.
I shifted so I was blocking Julian from his glare, as if that could help. Guilt had been nagging at me ever since I’d emotionally manipulated Julian into being my date. He’s been a good sport about it this past week, gamely tagging along as I picked out his tux to go with my pale pink dress, listening to my craziness tolerant bemusement as I explained multiple times why this crown should be mine.
The look he gave me when I went into “psycho sweetheart” mode—that was Julian’s term for it. Sweet, right? Anyway the look he gave me when I went into that crazy competitive mode made my heart hurt. It made breathing difficult in the very best way.
The only word I could think of to describe it was tender. There was so much affection in his eyes when he teasingly called me “crazyface” or made jokes at my expense that involved movie references no one born in this century would ever recognize.
That look in his eyes made me love his teasing. Better yet, his teasing made me laugh at myself, which had never been my strong suit, I’d be the first to admit.
Even now, he was making me laugh as he leaned forward to whisper that I had a hair out of place.
I did not have a hair out of place. I checked my reflection no less than twenty times before entering this vipers’ nest.
And that’s what this was. The only friendly people here were Brian and Alice. Brian was on the court. Alice wasn’t but she’d shown up because the dates of the court members were featured in some shots.
The Prom Kiss (Briarwood High Book 5) Page 11